热带惊雷（2008）

Portnoy was almost uninsurable.
还有代言PP香汗饮料的 说唱歌♥手阿尔帕·奇诺
Also in the mix is Booty Sweat-hocking hip-hop hyphenate Alpa Chino.
能来拍热带惊雷 我激动死了
I’m so excited, you know what I’m saying, about doing Tropic Thunder.
宝贝 别忘了喝PP香汗饮料!
Hey, drink Booty Sweat, baby. Drink Booty Sweat.
而演员当中真正重量级的…
But the real heavyweight on the set
是5次奥斯卡奖得主 柯克·拉扎勒斯
is five-time Academy Award winner Kirk Lazarus.
这个天才澳洲人 生活中一副坏小子形象
The brilliant Australian known for his bad boy antics off-screen
因为非常入戏而闻名
is famous for his total immersion into any role he portrays.
演员也一样
Well, being an actor is no different
和橄榄球 盖楼没区别
than being a rugby player or a construction worker,
虽说我善于
save for the fact that my tools
打动观众内心
are the mechanisms that trigger human emotion.
拉扎勒斯最近的手术广受争议
Lazarus underwent a controversial
他将皮肤染色
pigmentation alteration procedure in order to play
就为了演好黑人角色 林肯·奥西里斯
the platoon’s African-American sergeant, Lincoln Osiris.
耶!
Yeah!
当然还有过气的
Trying to hold his own onscreen with Kirk
动作影星奋力·快男
is action juggernaut Tugg Speedman.
曾是全球收入最高的影星
Once the highest grossing star in the world,
不过《热天总动员》系列要降温了
lately his Scorcher films have lost their heat.
最近 快男对蒂拉敞开了心扉
Recently, Speedman opened up to Tyra.
你没有真正的家庭
You have no real family.
四十不惑了还在走着下坡路 没有孩子
You’re on the wrong side of 40. You’re childless and alone.
你一个朋友说
Somebody close to you said,
“再跌个跟头 这辈子就完了”
“One more flop and it’s over.”
有人说是我朋友?
Somebody said they were close to me?
他今年很不容易
It’s been a tough year for Tugg.
先是无聊的友情喜剧《剧院伙计》
The disappointing buddy comedy Chitlin’ & the Dude
然后头脑发热非要向演技派发展
was followed by an ill-advised venture into serious dramatic territory.
《笨蛋杰克》
Simple Jack,
讲述一个弱智农场工人 还能和动物对话
the story of a mentally impaired farmhand who can talk to animals,
成了票房♥毒药
was a box office disaster
许多评论家称之为”有史以来最糟糕的电影”
that many critics called, “One of the worst movies of all time.”
我脑子不了了灵
I ain’t got a good brain.
我觉得你的脑子很好用 杰克!
I think you’ve got a fine brain, Jack.
你日日让我开心
You make me happy.
可是快男能让观众们高高兴吗?
But now the question is, can Speedman make audiences happy
这最费钱的战争片
in what’s being called the most expensive
-好像永远拍不出来了? -瑞克·佩克找你
-war movie never made? -Rick Peck.
祝他好运吧
Wishing Tugg all the best on that one.
公子哥奋力 我是佩克 有时间和经纪人聊聊吗?
Rum-Tum-Tuggernauts, it’s the Pecker. You got time for your agent?
-瑞克? -是我 伙计
-Rick? -Hey, buddy,
猜猜我正看着谁?
guess who I’m staring at right now.
-什么? -看着你的丑脸
-What? -I’m looking at your ugly mug
名利场杂♥志♥的封底
on the back cover of Vanity Fair magazine,
抱着个可爱的熊猫 给可爱村做广♥告♥
holding a cute, cuddly panda from Cutesville.
你真牛啊 跟摇滚明星似的
It is insane, bro. You are a rock star.
收到你的礼物篮了吗?
Hey, did you get the gift basket I sent?
他送的
From Rick.
是啊 很不错 谢谢你
Yeah. Yeah. It’s cool, man. Thanks.
老兄 那是货真价实的卫星电♥话♥
All right, that is a real satellite phone, bro.
别随便就转手送人
Do not re-gift.
你看刚才的”直击好莱坞”节目了?
Hey. You see that Access Hollywood piece?
看了 好像在拿手♥枪♥抽盲童
Yeah, I did. It was like pistol-whipping a blind kid.
我不用安慰你 你本来就是大明星
I mean, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, Tugg. You are a huge star, all right?
不过现在
But right now,
你就是球场上的那小孩
you’re like that kid on the playground, you know,
头上长虱子 没人愿意和你玩
the one who has lice that none of the other kids want to play with?
-什么意思? -你要洗心革面
-What do you mean? -I mean we gotta shave your head
就能回到滑梯上爽了
and get you back on the monkey bars, right?
啥?
What?
你那场哭戏怎么样
How did the crying scene go?
糟透了 拉扎勒斯也跟着哭
Horrible. Lazarus started crying.
鼻涕口水流我一身 剧本就没这么写…
Then he starts drooling and dribbling, and it wasn’t even in the script…
别抱怨了!
Stop right there!
振奋起来 拖船
You gotta buck up here, Tuggboat.
谁在乎他是否更有才?
Who cares how much more talented he may be than you?
他要哭 你就哭得更狠!
If he cries, you cry harder, man.
小时候你的狗得过白血病吗?
Didn’t your dog have, like, leukemia or something
想一想就哭出来了
when you were a kid? I mean, think of that.
搞定! 他们接好”替你录”了吗?
Boom! End of story. They hook up the TiVo yet?
好棒
Good gosh.
-什么? -Tivo 他们接了没?
-What? -The TiVo, they hook it up?
-没啊没来接 -什么?
-No. The guy didn’t come. -What?
妈的让人不能接受
For fuck’s sake, that is unacceptable.
他们有数字电视 我觉得够了
They have digital cable, but, I mean, it’s okay.
不行 这可不行
No, no, no. Come on, man. It’s not okay.
这可是大事儿 奋力!
It is not okay, Tugg!
你都不用向我解释为什么你需要”替你录”
And you don’t need to explain to me why you need TiVo
或是纯净水啊 床单啊 食物帐篷之类的
or clean water, clean sheets, food, shelter.
在合同里帮你搞定这些是我份内的事
I mean, I fought for that in your contract.
对了 你收养小孩的事情怎么样了?
How’s the adoption thing coming, buddy?
不怎么样
Not too great.
我觉得好孩子都绝迹了
I feel like all the good ones are gone.
至少你还有得选
Well, at least you get to choose yours.
我是没得挑了
I’m stuck with mine.
你快回去工作吧 天才战士
Tell you what, get back to work, genius soldier.
“替你录”这事儿 我佩克帮你搞定!
The Pecker’s on a TiVo mission for the Y-O-U.
练练掉眼泪 伙计
Work on those tears, my man.
好吧
All right. Yeah.
再跟我说一遍
Say it for me one time.
-你日日让我开心 -你日日让我开心
-You make me happy. -Make me happy.
-哥们没说的 -好的 再见
-I love you, buddy. -All right, bye.
紧急会议? 搞什么鬼?
Crisis meeting? What does that mean, exactly?
咱们有紧急危机了吗?
I mean, are we in a crisis?
他是电影公♥司♥的老大
He’s the head of the studio.
不过摸不着咱们 离着1万6千公里远呢
He’s reaching out. We’re 10,000 miles away.
也就想来个小会面
He just wants a little face-time.
我知道 可你说他要开紧急会议 所以…
I know, it’s just you said that he called it a crisis meeting. So…
他可是雷斯·格罗斯曼 爱用夸张的词儿
It’s Les Grossman. He throws these words around.
“紧急” “爆发” “停机” “解雇”之类的
“Crisis,” “explosion,” “not rolling,” “fired.”
随便说说
These are just words.
爽啊! 爽!
Yeah! Yeah!
替我保密啊 他的摄影车刚把朱迪·丹奇给撞了
Keep a secret? A camera truck in London just plowed into Judi Dench.
相信我 他还有更操心的事儿
Trust me, he’s got bigger problems.
他可能看得见我 但我看不见他
Look, he may be able to see me, but I can’t see him.
-让开让开! 雷斯您好 -从我眼前滚开…
-Move! Move! Hello, Les! Hello! -Get your ass out of my…
-你踩我桌子了 -他能看得见我们?
-Your feet were on my desk. -Can he see us?
为什么我们没有…
I don’t know why we don’t have…
给他健怡可乐 雷斯 好了!
Get him a Diet Coke. Les! It’s working!
是啊 不管你怎么搞的
Yeah, whatever you’re doing right there. Hello, Les!
-你好 雷斯! -你好
-Hello, Les! -Okay.
我们听你说话非常清楚
We got you loud and clear here, Les.
让我看看你们
I see you. I see you. I see you.
哪个欠揍的是 达门·考蛋?
Which one of you fuckfaces is Damien Cockburn?
是我 先生
That’s me, sir.
咱们总算见着面了
It’s good to finally meet you at last, get some face-time.
置景主任是谁? 你? 就你
And who here is the key grip? You? You.
对着导演的脸 给我狠狠地打
Hit that director in the face, really fucking hard.
抱歉 老兄
Sorry, man.
这是你的错 你个英国傻B
This is your fault, you limey fuck!
你把我的钱都给扔粪坑了
You shit the money-bed, my friend.
-什么? -妈的 达门!
-What? -God damn it, Damien!
无论怎样 尊敬的雷斯先生也不会去炸丛林
With all due respect, Les Grossman did not blow up the jungle.
-什么? -去他妈的丛林
-What? -Fuck the jungle.
对!
Exactly!
好了 哥们
Come on, man.
雷斯 我明白你很生气
Hey, Les, I understand if you’re angry,
可这里的一群娘娘腔不好伺候
but I am dealing with a bunch of prima donnas!
那个小丑 奋力·快男 连哭都不会
Clowns! Tugg Speedman, he can’t cry! He can’t cry!
知道怎么对付演员吗? 只要他们一抱怨