热带惊雷（2008）

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
想要干什么 佩克?
What do you need, Peck?
不干什么 想要个你正缺的 雷斯
No, more like what do you need, Les?
眼镜?
Glasses?
什么?
What?
这样你就能看清楚《热带惊雷》的合同
So you can read the Tropic Thunder contract
满足我客户奋力·快男 的要求
that guarantees my client, Tugg Speedman,
给他一台数字视频录放机
some form of digital video recorder on location.
-啥? -你怎么能让他进来
-Huh? -I can’t believe you let him in.
听着 傻B 我可是非常忙 你最好快点滚出去
Look, fuckstick, I’m incredibly busy, so why don’t you get the hell out of here
省了我扯断你老二塞进你屁♥股♥里去
before I snap your dick off and jam it into your ass?
海伦 我刚才没说你
No, not you, Helen.
但你要搞不定那几家电影院 我把你乳♥头♥扯下来
But I will rip your tits off if you don’t get me those theaters.
正好了
Perfect.
笨蛋奋力 电♥话♥现在是用外音喇叭
Hey, Tuggernuts, I’ve got you on speakerphone.
我正和雷斯·格罗斯曼站在一起
I’m standing here with Les Grossman,
他很想告诉你 为什么把”替你录”条款
and he is dying to tell you why he’s apparently wiped his ass
当擦屁♥股♥纸的
with the TiVo clause from your contract.
我们是火龙帮
We are Flaming Dragon.
快男现在在我们这儿
Speedman is with us now.
花五千万 你就能把他要回去
For 50 million, you will get him back.
-你能不能把… -你是谁?
-Are you gonna get those… -Who is this?
-你怎么拿到的电♥话♥? -我们是火龙帮!
-And how did you get this phone? -We are Flaming Dragon!
笨蛋杰克现在在我们手上
Simple Jack belong to us now.
是吗 你想得美
He does, does he?
我跟你说 你个屌♥毛
Let me tell you something, shitbird.
我从没听说过你们这个破经纪人公♥司♥
I’ve never even heard of your little agency.
可要是你认为能抢走我的客户…
But if you think you can poach my client…
给我五千万 否则跟笨蛋杰克永别 我们就杀了他
Send $50 million, or you no see Simple Jack again because we kill him.
我是雷斯·格罗斯曼 你是谁?
This is Les Grossman. Who is this?
我们是火龙帮!
This is Flaming Dragon!
好的 火龙帮 JB脸
Okay. Flaming Dragon. Fuckface.
你先后退一大步 对着你的脸狠狠地操过去!
First, take a big step back and literally fuck your own face!
我不知道你们代表泛太平洋的
Now, I don’t know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play
哪拨装狂的势力 可亚洲和杰克是老子管
you’re trying to pull here, but Asia, Jack, is my territory.
别轻易闹事炸刺
So whatever you’re thinking, you better think again.
否则 我就过去
Otherwise, I’m gonna have to head down there,
给你们来一场核爆♥炸♥天谴
and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you.
到时你们就得给他妈的联♥合♥国♥打电♥话♥
You’re gonna have to call the fucking United Nations
搞到个解决协议才能让我手下留情
and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you.
我说的是烧焦你们 狗♥娘♥养♥的!
I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker!
给你们来场大屠♥杀♥!
I will massacre you!
把你们全都搞死!
I will fuck you up!
-能查出来这是谁吗? -可以
-Could you find out who that was? Go. -Yeah. Yeah.
你们辛苦了
笨蛋杰克
把它戴上 这更像笨蛋杰克的牙
You wear these. More like Simple Jack teeth.
好
Okay.
我明白你是我的超级粉丝 很好…
Hey. Look, I know you’re a big fan, and that’s great…
把假牙戴上!
Put teeth in!
现在照着电影演
Now do movie.
整部电影?
The whole movie?
演不了 我不知道整个的…
I can’t. I don’t know the whole…
快演! 不演就杀了你!
You perform! You perform or die!
你个耍猴的!
Monkey swine!
爸
Pa.
再演傻点!
More stupid!
爸 为啥你日日让我这么难受?
Pa, why you gotta make me feel bad?
你们也都看见了
You saw what I saw.
咱们要是不干点啥 奋力·快男就死定了
Tugg Speedman is dead meat if we don’t do something soon.
如果快点回到旅馆 还能干点什么
Yeah. We could do something by getting our asses back to the hotel,
可咱们走反了!
which is in the other direction!
不能回去
Ain’t right.
如果《大逃亡》里的史蒂夫和伙计们
What would’ve happened in The Great Escape
就那么退缩逃亡了 该成什么了?
if Steve McQueen and them dudes had turned tail and ran?
可这电影就是拍的逃亡啊 他们最后跑了
Well, that’s what that movie was about. They were escaping. They ran away.
你没错 我只是强调他们努力了
I’m trying to agree with you. The point is they did something.
那咱们该怎么办?
Then what are we supposed to do, huh?
那咱们该怎么办?
‘Cause he’s cleaning a gun with no bullets. Yeah, that’s a plan.
我其实像个心理紧张就开始乱摸鸡鸡的小男孩
I’m just like a little boy, playing with his dick when he’s nervous.
大伙等一下 等一下
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
我有个主意 可能有点疯狂
I got an idea. This might be a little crazy.
疯主意也比没有强
Crazy’s better than nothing.
在98年 我给麦克斯公♥司♥拍过低成本色情喜剧
Back in ’98, I did a low-budget titty comedy for Skinemax.
-《情♥色♥野营》 记得吧? -记得
-Sex Camp. Remember it? -Yeah.
我们这帮丑男营地队的人
Anyway, me and the campers from the uncool camp
要想办法闯进美女营队的地盘
had to break into the rich girl camp.
我们是这么做的
So, what we did,
用木头和内♥裤♥造了一台投石机
we built a catapult out of logs and underwear,
我们被射过围墙 再跳伞着陆
and they shot us over the wall, and we parachuted down.
听着
Look,
伙计们 咱们其实早就有现成计划了
you guys, we already know the plan.
你♥他♥妈♥的在开玩笑吗? 我给你金牌
Are you fucking kidding me? I’m giving you gold.
咱们就照着书里面第26章”雨季进攻”那样做
We do it just like in the book, Chapter 26, the Wet Offensive.
《热带惊雷》这本书啊
The book of Tropic Thunder.
你们都看过这书吧?
Yeah, did you guys read the book?
看过外皮儿 书封底 见过照片
The flap, I read the back flap and saw the pictures.
那也没关系 这跟剧本里也一样
Well, it’s okay. It’s exactly the same as in the script.
酷!
Cool.
你们至少看过剧本吧?
You guys all read the script, right?
我不看剧本演 是剧本照着我演
I don’t read the script, script reads me.
这他妈的又是什么意思?
What the hell does that even mean?
你对书和剧本了解多少? 有屁快放!
What you getting at with the books, scripts? Spit that shit out, man!
好吧 “雨季进攻”
All right. The Wet Offensive.
奥西里斯和胖子乔装来吸引敌人注意
Osiris and Fats go undercover as a diversion.
底特律和布鲁克林两人从河塘溜进去
Motown and Brooklyn sneak in via the river.
可他们是训练有素的军人!
Yeah. But those dudes was trained soldiers.
是啊
Yeah!
但咱们是训练有素的演员 你个傻B
And we trained actors, motherfucker.
该开始行动了 我就不说好听的了
Time to man up. And I ain’t gonna sugarcoat.
咱们有些人可能会回不了家了
Some of us might not even make it back.
什么意思? 一趟飞机还带不走所有人?
What do you mean? Like not on the same flight?
阿尔帕和我都自带着天然牛B迷彩服
Alpa and I’s already wearing earth mama’s natural night camo.
-少说不碍事 本森 -抱歉
-Cool it, Benson. -Sorry.
我俩先去侦察 回头大家一起想计划 20分钟还没回 就去找我们
We gonna scout, get a plan together. We ain’t back in 20, come looking.
“我们是火龙帮”
We are Flaming Dragon.
好的
Okay.
火龙帮是个制♥造♥贩卖♥♥海♥洛♥因♥的组织
Flaming Dragon’s a heroin manufacturer.
他们负责亚洲八分之一的毒品交易
They’re responsible for an eighth of the drug trade in Asia.
-非常高的利润率 -大伙们!
-Huge profit margin. -Guys!
谁能告诉我咱们的计划是什么?
Would somebody please let me know what the game plan is?
佩克 我们尽在掌握中
Peck! We have it handled.
别插嘴 尽在掌握呢
Please, don’t interrupt. Everything’s under control.
我明白 好的
I got it. Got it.
来电人：笨蛋奋力
-我是雷斯·格罗斯曼 -还没有收到钱
-Les Grossman. -We not get money yet.
现在价钱是一亿了!
Price now 100 million!
现在不交钱 明天笨蛋杰克就死定了
You pay now, or tomorrow Simple Jack die.
好啊 让我先记一下
Great. Let me get this down.
一亿元
100 million.
等等 我有个更好的点子
Wait! I got a better idea.
与其给你一亿
Instead of 100 million,
不如给你送点流浪汉鸡♥巴♥奶酪?
how about I send you a hobo’s dick cheese?
然后你就杀了他 随你便 扒皮也行!
Then you kill him! Do your thing! Skin the fucking bastard!
玩得尽兴点 玩得尽兴!
Go to town, man! Go to town!
-不行… -同时 与以往一样
-No… -In the meantime, and as usual,
去操你自己吧
go fuck yourself!
我们从不和恐♥怖♥分♥子♥妥协
-No. -We don’t negotiate with terrorists.
你疯了吗?
hey, are you insane?
-我觉得还能更好点 -很不错了
-I think I could’ve done that better. -I thought it was good.
他们会杀了他!
They’re gonna kill him!
那又怎样?
And?