特雷弗·诺亚：但愿你可以（2022）

做的一件事
I used to love doing
就是看恐怖电影
was watching horror movies
and then judging people when they made stupid decisions.
一有人做蠢事 我就开始吐槽
那是我的最爱
I love it.
我太喜欢恐怖电影了
I watch horror movies.
I wait for people to make stupid decisions.
专门等他们做蠢事
然后等他们死了 我会说:“你活该”
And then when they die, I’m like, “You deserved it.”
Never makes sense.
那些剧情完全不合理
一点都不合理
Never.
比如说被人追杀
You know? Someone being chased.
后面追的人带着面罩 手里拿着刀
There’s, like, a guy in a mask, and he’s got a knife. Right?
被追的人却还在走
Guy’s walking.
跑到汽车旁边后 才开始找钥匙
Person runs to their car. They always fumble with the keys.
Dead. What are you doing?
这还不死?你在干嘛?
What are you doing?
你在干嘛?
如果有人拿刀追你 你跑到了汽车附近
If someone’s chasing you with a knife and you get to a car
不要进到车里 那是浪费时间
don’t bother getting in. It’s a waste of time.
你只需要站在汽车的这边
All you do is just run to this side of the car.
然后等追你的人
And then you wait.
如果他往那边跑 你就往这边跑
When they go that way, you go this way.
They go that way, you go this way.
如果他往这边跑 你就往那边跑
跑一天他都抓不到你
Yeah, we can do this shit all day.
恐怖电影里的人做的事 总是特别蠢 我不懂为什么
People make the dumbest decisions in horror movies. I don’t get it.
My favorite is when people just have to hide.
我最喜欢的情节就是 他们要躲起来的时候
他们只要躲起来闭上嘴就行了
That’s all they have to do. Just hide and shut up.
For an hour and a half, they can’t do it.
一个半小时过去了 还是没藏好
就像《寂静之地》一样
Like in A Quiet Place.
你们看过吗?那是我最爱的电影之一
Have you watched that? One of my favorite movies of all time.
看过吗?就是有看不见 东西的外星人的那部?
Yeah? The one with the aliens that don’t see anything?
它们用回声定位每个人的位置
They just use echolocation to figure out where everyone is.
主角们总会躲到小屋里 然后开始⋯
There’s always the people hiding in the shed. Just there, like…
Shh…
You just have to be quiet. You can just chill.
那么害怕干嘛 只要不出声就行了
呆在那儿 放松点
Just be there, chilling.
Could be sitting there playing Xbox quietly.
甚至可以坐那儿安静地打电子游戏
No…
他们偏要这样
Shh…
而且那个小孩总会笑出声
There’s always that baby.
Shh!
有时候你都能 看出来那个怪物就要放弃了
And there’ll always be the moment where you can see the monster’s given up.
你懂吗?就是怪物想要放弃了⋯
You know? The moment where the monster’s like…
And just as it’s about to leave, just as it’s about to go
正当它要离开 它要走的时候
there’s always one idiot, one idiot who jumps up, like
总有一个傻子跳出来大喊
“我真的受不了了!
“I can’t take it anymore!”
你过来呀!”
“Come get me!”
Dead. You deserved it.
然后就死了 活该
‘Cause I never got it. Right? I never understood.
我从来就不理解他们的脑回路
Why? All you have to do is wait.
为什么要那样?只要等一会就好啦
只要在里面等得久一点 危险就会逐渐平息
You just stay inside for long enough, and the danger will subside.
为什么就做不到呢? 为什么呆在屋里就这么难?
Why can’t you do it? Why is it so hard to just stay inside?
然后新冠疫情就来了
And then the pandemic hit.
I was like, “Ah, now I get it.”
我才明白“啊 原来是这样”
Ah, ’cause we all hit our breaking point.
因为我们都处于崩溃的边缘
疫情把大家逼疯了
The pandemic made people crazy.
我以为大家会团结起来 这是我一直以来的信念
I thought we were all gonna come together. That’s what I believed.
我小时候看的电影都是这样
From all the movies I watched as a kid.
我以为人类面临生存威胁的时候
I thought if humans were ever threatened with an existential threat
我们会放下所有的矛盾
we would abandon every single fight we were having
团结起来 赢得胜利
and we would come together to win.
你明白吗?
You know?
I thought if that virus came, we’d all be there.
我以为病毒来了 人们会团结起来
“再也不要种族歧视 和性别歧视 让我们一起面对
We’d be like, “All right, no more racism. No more sexism. Let’s do this together.”
然后我们会打败 外星人 继续之前的斗争
And we’d go and defeat the enemy aliens, and then we’d come back
好了 让我们继续种族歧视性别歧视吧”
be like, “All right, let’s get back to the racism and sexism.”
就像《独♥立♥日》一样 里面的剧情就是这样的
Like in Independence Day, that’s what happened. Remember?
我小时候看的都是这样的电影
Yeah. That’s what I grew up watching.
全世界人♥民♥团结起来 抗击外星人 停止所有的⋯
Everyone in the world came together to fight the aliens. We stopped all our…
再也没有权力斗争 而是并肩作战 赢得胜利
There was no politics, no nothing. We unified, and we won.
然而现实生活我们做了什么? 我们继续内斗 最终一败涂地
And then in real life, what do we do? We fought each other, and we lost.
我们本该成为一个团队
We were supposed to be a team.
威尔史密斯本该是我们的英雄
Will Smith was supposed to be our hero.
一切都没有按计划进行!
None of it went as planned!
I wonder if that’s how the dinosaurs went out, you know?
我想知道恐龙灭绝 是不是也是这个原因
它们可能也是无法达成一致
Maybe they just couldn’t agree on anything.
Maybe some warned the others, like, “There’s an asteroid!”
或许某些恐龙警告过其他恐龙: “小行星要来了!”
“There’s an asteroid coming down to Earth!”
“有颗小行星朝地球飞过来了!”
其他恐龙说:“小行星都是假的!”
Other dinosaurs are like, “Asteroids are not real!”
“It’s a hoax!”
“那是个骗局!”
然后小行星就击中了地球
That rock smashed into the planet…
Dust covered the globe.
尘土遮盖了整个星球
所有恐龙开始四处逃窜
All the dinosaurs were running around in panic
“啊 到处都是尘土!”
“Ahh! The dust is everywhere!”
“戴上口罩!”
“Wear a mask! Wear a mask!”
The T. rex was like, “I can’t!”
霸王龙说:“我戴不上啊!”
你知道最疯狂的是什么吗?
You know what’s so crazy is…
I thought the pandemic was gonna ravage Africa the worst.
我本来以为非洲会遭受最严重的破坏
这是真话 我当时很害怕
Yeah, I won’t lie. I was terrified.
我为整个非洲大♥陆♥感到恐惧
I was terrified for the African continent.
我一直都认为 如果地球上 爆发病毒 只要传播到非洲
My whole life, I’d seen, whenever there was a virus that broke out in the world
一定会出现最悲惨的局面
if it got to Africa, we got it the worst.
我还记得病毒开始扩散的时候
I remember when it started spreading around the globe.
我做好了万全的准备
I was getting ready for it.
家乡的朋友给我打来了电♥话♥
My friends from home were calling me on the phone.
他们问:“特雷弗 你知道 新冠病毒发展成什么样了吗?”
They’re like, “Trevor, are you seeing what’s happening with coronavirus?”
-“我知道” -“你觉得接下来会发生什么?”
“Yeah, I’m seeing it.” “What do you think’s gonna happen?”
我说:“你们完了 兄弟 真的”
Like, “Aww, man. You guys are screwed, man.”
“You guys?” Like, “Yeah. I’m in America, baby.”
-“你们?” -“没错 我在美国呢 哥们”
“我做出了正确的选择”
“I made the right choices in life.”
Turns out it was the other way around.
但是事实完全相反
同等条件下 非洲在控制疫情方面
Pound for pound, Africa did better than any other continent
做得比其他大♥陆♥都好
in handling the disease.
每个人都震惊了
Shocked everyone.
而且更疯狂的是
What was even wilder was this…
当埃博拉袭击非洲的时候
When Ebola was happening in Africa
新闻播报的语气听起来 总觉得埃博拉的肆虐是非洲本身的错
the news always made it seem like it was Africans’ fault for having Ebola.
我每次看新闻都能在 新闻的报道中听出一种
Every time you’d watch the news, there was always a subtle level of blame
微妙的指责 不是吗?
that was happening in the news reports, right?
并没有对非洲人♥民♥表现同情
Didn’t humanize the people.
而且总是BBC或者Sky 的某位主持人站在镜头前
It would always be someone random on, like, Sky or the BBC standing there.
后面是堆起来的尸体
There’d be dead bodies piled up behind them. Like
“萨拉 我正在西非 你可以看到我身后
“Sarah, I’m standing in West Africa, where as you can see behind me
堆满了感染埃博拉病毒的尸体
the bodies of Ebola victims are piling up.”
许多欧洲科学家不禁怀疑
“Many European scientists are asking
这样的不幸是否 是非洲人自身的责任
if unfortunately these Africans have themselves to blame.”
他们拒绝接受世卫组织的建议
“They’ve been refusing the advice of the World Health Organization
也不理解在疫情期间
not understanding the importance of distancing from each other
彼此之间保持距离的重要性
during this time.”
显然 这完全是他们自己的责任
“And it appears that they only have themselves to blame.”
迪利安潘 BBC台 下面镜头交给演播室”
“Dillian Pann, BBC. Back to you in the studio.”
我每次看到这样 的新闻都会想“不!
And I would watch this and be like, “No!”
非洲人 为什么我们要这样对自己?
“Africans, why do we do this to ourselves?”
为什么 非洲?
“Why, Africa?”
为什么?
“Why?”
为什么我们总是这么对自己?
“Why do we love doing this to ourselves?”
为什么我们总是喜欢亲猴子?
“Why do we like kissing monkeys?”
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
Mwah, mwah, mwah. “The lips are so sexy.”
你的嘴唇好性感”
后来新冠来了
And then when COVID came
在没有西方帮助的情况下
Africans used everything they had learned
非洲人运用 之前和所有病毒抗争的经验
from every virus they had to fight without the help of the West
and they dealt with it better than any other continent.
最终取得了比其他 所有大♥陆♥都好的成绩
Didn’t get credit, by the way. Everyone made it seem like it was luck.
但还是没获得表扬 所有人都觉得我们走了狗屎运