穿越美国（2005）

Did you know that the Lord of the Rings is gay?
你说什么？
I beg your pardon?
不是有一座黑色的塔吗？ 指向燃烧的大阴♥道♥之类的东西
There’s this big black tower, right? And it points right at this…
那是终极邪恶的象征
…huge burning vagina thing. And it’s like the symbol of ultimate evil.
然后山姆和佛罗多 要进这个山洞
And then Sam and Frodo have to go into this cave…
把魔戒放在滚烫的熔岩坑里
…and deposit their magic ring into this hot steaming lava pit.
结果最后关头佛罗多就不行了
Only at the last minute…
于是咕噜咬掉了他的手指头
…Frodo can’t perform, so Gollum bites off his finger.
同性恋
Gay.
看什么看？
What the fuck are you looking at?
我只是觉得离卡利昆这么近
I just didn’t think it was right…
却没路过一下不太好
…to come so close to Callicoon without at least passing through.
托比！
Toby!
你要去哪里？
Where are you going?
你像个被宠坏的小孩耶
You’re acting like a spoiled child!
天呐，我一定是眼花了 是我的小宝贝回来了
Oh, my God! I can’t believe my eyes! It’s my sweet little angel baby!
再来抱一下
Give me another hug!
我真想修理你一顿
I could wring your neck like a chicken! My favorite boy!
我又不是你最喜欢的 – 那你是误会我了啦
I was never your favorite. – That’s what you think.
我以前常在窗边看着他 整天和那只大狗玩
I used to look at him out that window, playing all day with that big dog.
托比住在这附近？ – 就在隔壁的隔壁
Toby lived near here? – Just 2 doors up the road!
你这阵子都在干嘛？ 快告诉我吧
So, what’ve you been doing with yourself? I wanna know everything.
他去了纽约
He’s been in New York…
准备进军演艺圈
…working toward developing a career in the film industry.
我要去加州 – 加州！
I’m going to California. – California?!
他很有表演细胞
He always was the artistic type!
他以前有一只宝贝猴子玩偶
He used to have this precious stuffed monkey…
不管去哪里都要抱着 甚至抱着去上学
…he carried around with him everywhere, even to school!
你也是演艺圈的人吗？ – 她是教会的传教士
Are you in the movie business too? – She’s a missionary with the church.
赞美上帝
Praise the Lord!
我是个电疗美容师
I’m an electrolygist myself.
只要你愿意 我免费帮你修鼻毛
If you want, I can get those little hairs up under your nose for you!
我在美容院的老板娘 她以前在加州工作
My boss lady down at the salon used to work out in California.
听说好莱坞
From what I hear, some of the Hollywood beauties…
有些美女体毛很多
…used to be as hairy as hogs.
好了，这样就不会再露鼻毛了
That ought to keep them from sticking their heads up again!
谢谢你
Thank you.
你应该去跟你继父打声招呼
You ought to go and say hello to your step-daddy!
我不想见到他 – 让你衣食无缺 给你房♥子住
I don’t wanna see him. – Of course you do.
他算是你的爸爸
He’s your father…
凭他给你的一切
…for all practical purposes.
他向来很敏感
He always was a sensitive thing.
你要开车载他去加州？
Are you going to drive him all the way to California?
我要去透透气 失陪一下，谢谢你
I have to get some air. Excuse me. And thank you.
什么事？ – 你是谁？
Yeah? – Good evening.
我是传好消息的人
I am a bearer of glad tidings.
令郎回来了
Your son has come home!
真的吗？
Good!
托比！亚蕾蒂！ 我带回了一个惊喜
Toby! Arletty! I brought back a surprise.
进来吧
Come on in.
瞧瞧是谁来了
Look who’s here!
不能带穆♥罕♥默♥德♥上山
If you can’t bring Mohamed to the mountain…
就把山移来给穆♥罕♥默♥德♥
…bring the mountain to Mohamed!
你长得这么大了
Look how much you’ve grown!
托比，和爸爸抱一下
Toby, give your father a hug!
我好担心你，你就这样跷家了
I was worried sick about you. Why’d you run off like that?
你知不知道我有多想你？ – 你想我的嘴，你想我的屁♥眼♥
I missed you. – Isn’t this sweet?
闭嘴，在女士们面前不得无礼
You hush now. What are these ladies gonna think?
你想在她们面前干我吗？
You wanna fuck me in front of them?
闭嘴！
You shut up!
鲍比！
Bobby!
你觉得好玩吗？
Was that good for you?
来吧，鲍比
Come on, Bobby.
我以为你喜欢
You liked it.
在车♥库♥那次你就很喜欢 – 闭嘴！
You liked in the… – Shut up!
来吧
Come on!
托比？
Toby…
亲爱的？
Honey…
这人的罪恶深重
This man’s heavy with sin.
把他放在那张椅子上
Put him in that chair there.
我不认识你了，鲍比詹森
I don’t know you, Bobby Jensen.
他过几个小时就会醒了
He’ll come to in a couple of hours.
错不在我
This isn’t my fault!
你没告诉过我不想回家的原因
You never told me why you didn’t wanna come home.
你要去哪里？
Where are you going?
我给你送早餐来了
I brought you some breakfast…
他要走路去交流道搭便车
He’s walking down to the highway ramp to hitchhike himself a ride.
他经常上演失踪记
He’s a disappearing act.
他妈妈自杀以后他也是这样
It’s the same thing he did after his mama killed herself.
什么？
She what?
她把自己关在车♥库♥里发动车子
She shut herself up in the garage with the car on.
托比放学回家发现了她
Toby found her there when he came home from school.
天呐
Oh, God!
乡下风景真好
Lovely scenery in this part of the country.
我只说要搭你的便车 可没说要陪你聊天
I took a ride from you, I never said I’d carry on a fucking conversation.
我只是想帮你一个忙
I was just trying to do you a favor!
天晓得，你过的是那种生活
Considering the way you’ve been living your life it wasn’t unreasonable…
理所当然要有父母来监护
…to try to put you under some parental supervision.
那是什么？毒品？
What’s that? It’s that Drugs?
绝对不行
Oh no! Absolutely not!
妈的！
God damn it!
不行，你不能在车上吸毒 不行！
No! That is not alright! You can’t do that here! No!
你再干涉，我就要下车了
Are you gonna let me do my thing or do I have to get out right now?
随便你
Go ahead.
你要死就去死
Kill yourself.
关我什么事
What does it matter to me?
你要一杯巧克力奶昔 你妈妈要一杯咖啡
One chocolate milkshake for you and coffee for your mother.
我不是他妈妈 谢谢你
I’m not his mother.
我一夜没睡 我们去找汽车旅馆
I didn’t sleep a wink last night. Let’s look for a motel.
我要在郊外露营
I’m camping out.
你有没有比较…
Do you have something a trifle less…
没那么豪迈的？
…butch?
蔬菜杂烩？还是鸡肉卷？
Fettuccine Alfredo or Chicken Cordon Bleu?
鸡肉
Chicken.
火柴呢？
Matches?
妈的！
Fuck!
失陪一下，我要去化妆室
Excuse me. I have to go to the ladies room.
你觉得这附近有蛇吗？
Do you think there are snakes around here?
蛇，走开
Get away, snakes!
你的酒是哪儿来的？
Where did you get that?
我本来就有
I had it.
那是什么怪声？
What is that awful sound?
那是潜鸟
It’s a loon.
北部平原有些美国原住民部落
Certain Native American tribes of the northern plains…
相信潜鸟是祖先的灵魂
…believed loons were ancestral spirits…
想和我们的世界沟通
…trying to communicate with the physical world.
我的生父有印地安血统
My real dad’s part Indian.
是吗？
Is he?
对 他没告诉过我，但我就是知道
Yeah. He never told me, but I just know.
这是印地安人的感应
It’s an Indian thing.
体贴一下给女士也喝一口？
Do you think you could find it in your heart to offer a sip of it to a lady?
你是不是生病了？
Are you sick or something?
我很好
I’m fine.
这些是维他命
These are vitamins.
我小时候
When I was a little girl…
有一只毛圈织布兔子
…I had a terry cloth bunny.
我每天晚上都要抱着睡觉
I used to sleep with her every night.
你不要太惊讶
Try holding your breath.
有一天我爸妈说 我长大了要扔掉
Then one day my parents decided I was too old for her…
后来我就没再见过它了
…and I never saw her again.
我在你继父的车♥库♥里