心之全蚀

而且你的确是一脸贱相
You really did look like a cunt.
你去哪儿了
Where have you been?
外面
Out.
我又去了西班牙大使♥馆♥
I went to the Spanish embassy again…
看看他们会不会改变主意 但他们没有
to see if they’d change their minds, but they wouldn’t.
荒谬 真♥他♥妈♥的荒谬
It’s ridiculous. It’s fucking ridiculous.
我说愿为他们战死
“I’m willing to fight”, I said, “and die for your cause.”
你们怎么能拒绝志愿者
“You can’t afford to turn away volunteers.”
但他们却说不要外国人
But they said they weren’t taking on any foreigners.
然后我就咒他们活该战败
Then I said, “You deserve to lose the fucking war…
我希望你们战败
“and I hope you do.”
你整个早上都在西班牙大使♥馆♥吗
And were you at the Spanish Embassy all morning?
没有
No.
你喝醉了
You’re drunk.
我是喝了几杯
I have, yes, had a few drinks.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
收拾行李
Packing.
你要上哪去
Where are you going?
回洛许老家
I’m going back home to Roche.
把书写完 将它出版
I’m going to finish my book and I’m going to have it published.
噢 出版
Oh, publish.
我以为你没把出版放在眼里呢
I thought you were far too important for that.
不管怎样 听着 我决定了
Anyway, listen, I’ve decided.
我们得回伦敦
We’re going back to London.
我不会跟你回伦敦的
We’re not going back to London.
你会的 我已经仔细考虑过了
Yes, Yes, Yes. I’ve been thinking,
这是目前为止最好的办法
it’s by far the best idea.
那你干嘛去西班牙大使♥馆♥
Then why did you go to the Spanish embassy?
我没去
I didn’t.
别走 再考虑考虑
Don’t go. Think it over.
我已经考虑过了
I’ve thought it over.
你知道明天是什么日子么
Do you know what day it is tomorrow?
星期五
Friday.
是我的结婚纪念日
It’s my wedding anniversary…
从上次在布鲁塞尔做♥爱♥后
and I haven’t seen her, my wife…
我有一年没见过我妻子
since we made love here in Brussels nearly a year ago.
她不回我的信
She won’t answer my letters.
知道么 上周我写信告诉她
Do you know, I wrote her last week and told her
三天内她不来布鲁塞尔
if she didn’t come to Brussels within 3 days…
我就自杀 她甚至连信都没回
I’d commit suicide. And she didn’t even reply.
啊 但你也没自杀啊
Ah, but then you didn’t commit suicide.
你大概觉得很可笑
I suppose you think that’s funny.
不 是很可怜
No, it’s pitiful.
你到底跟多少人说过
Tell me. How many people did you write and tell you were
要自杀
going to committ suicide?
我真吃惊你居然没发请贴
I’m surprised you didn’t send out invitations.
你怎么能这么冷酷无情
How can you be so callous?
无情 我冷酷无情 你把我丢在伦敦
Callous? Callous?! You abandon me in London…
又要我来布鲁塞尔陪你
and then summon me to Brussels and expect me to hang around…
而你却在决定到底是要离开你老婆
while you decide whether you’re going to leave your wife…
参军 还是自杀
join the army, or shoot yourself?
然后当你发现你显然一样都干不了的时候
Then when you fail to achieve any of these aims…
还要我陪你回伦敦
as you undoubtedly will, you want me to go back to London with you!
我才不去 休想 我要离开你
It’s not gonna happen! Forget it. I’m leaving you!
你不能这样
You can’t.
你不能
You can’t!
听我说
Look,
现在正是夏天
it’s summer.
难道你不记得
Remember
去年夏天我们一起出去旅行的日子…
last summer when we set out…
有多么快乐
how wonderful it was?
你记得吗
Remember?
我们这次何不去南方看看
Why don’t we go south?
去年夏天在地中海
Late summer on the Mediterranean…
我们享受着热情
we could dedicate ourselves to warmth.
或去非洲
Or Africa.
我知道你一直想去非洲
I know you’ve always wanted to go to Africa.
只去一个月 快决定吧
Just for a month, then make up your mind.
去看太阳
Look at the sun.
不要
No.
为什么
Why not?
我不能去
I can’t.
没用的
It’s no good.
-太晚了 -不晚 一点都不晚
-It’s too late. -It’s not! It’s not!
我保证还不晚
I promise you, it’s not.
你若抛弃我就是杀了我
You know if you leave me, you’ll kill me.
我无法…我无法忍♥受孤单
I can’t… I can’t bear to be alone.
没有别人我活不了
I don’t exist without someone else.
我不管你是不是出于同情 只要留下来就行
I don’t care if you stay with me out of pity, just stay!
-我不能 -为什么不能
-I can’t. -Why not?
你不在乎
You don’t care.
你一点都不关心我
You have no idea
难道你不知道这对我意味着什么么
what this means to me.
妈的 你别嚎了
For God’s sake, stop whining!
好热
It’s very hot.
脱掉外套
Take off your coat.
我会的
I will.
早上我买♥♥了点东西
I did some shopping this morning.
我买♥♥了把枪
I bought a gun.
为了什么
What for?
为你 为我 为每个人
For you, for me, for everybody.
希望你买♥♥了很多子弹
I hope you bought plenty of ammunition.
我不会让你走的
I’m not going to let you go, you know.
这倒是个新鲜的花招
This is a rather entertaining number.
我们还从没用过这个
We haven’t seen this one before.
我要杀了你
I’ll kill you!
天 你控制一点
For God’s sake, pull yourself together.
我看了你的信
I read your letter.
你求我回来的
You begged me to come back.
你说你边写边哭
You said you were crying as you wrote it.
我能看到那纸上的泪痕
I could see your tears on the paper!
那时我还没想到典当你的衣物
That was before I thought of pawning your clothes.
我不是故意的
I didn’t mean to.
瞧你干的好事
Look what you’ve done.
抱歉 我不是有意的
I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.
你看
Look.
噢 天 杀了我吧 开枪啊
Oh, for God’s sake, kill me, shoot me.
开枪呀
Shoot me!
我怎么开枪 你这个蠢货
How can I, you stupid fuck?
你在我手上开了个洞
You’ve just blown a hole in my hand.
噢 上帝 我都干了些什么
Oh, God. What have I done?
-你没命中 -开门
-You missed. -Open up.
开门
Open up!
开门啊
Open up in there!
你到底在布鲁塞尔干什么
What exactly are you doing in Brussels?
我期待妻子来这儿与我会合
I was hoping my wife might come and join me here…
就像分居后她也曾经做过的那样
as she had already done on one occasion since our separation.
我不明白 一个朋友的离去
I fail to see how the departure of a friend…
竟会使你如此绝望
could have cast you into such despair.
你与兰波之间是否有…
Did there perhaps exist between you and Rimbaud…
超出友谊的关系
other relations besides those of friendship?
没有
No.
这是我妻子和她娘家
This is a suggestion slanderously invented…
对我的诽谤
by my wife and her family.
脱下裤子 趴在桌上
Take off your trousers and lie on this, face down.
两位医生都已作证
Both doctors have testified…
根据检验
that on the basis of their examination…
他们肯定你在最近一段时间内
they are satisfied that you have recently indulged
曾有过鸡♥奸♥行为
in both active and passive sodomy.
他们说的
Have they?