完美公路之旅（2013）

我都没遇见过你。一次也没
I didn’t see you.I didn’t see you once.
我看见了一辆法拉利F12，我以为是你
I saw a Ferrari F12,I thought it was you.
事实是
Thing is
虽然你有摩托车驾照
you’ve got a motorcycle licence.
-没错。-但是，我却有
-Yes.-Well, now, I have
游艇驾照
a boat licence.
也就是说，显然，明天
And what this means, of course,is tomorrow,
你将要穿上一件非常拉风的T恤…
while you’ll be wearing a T-shirt and that’ll be cooler…
啊，我差点忘了还有这么件事
Ah, I forgot about that.
…T恤上会写着“我爱詹姆斯·梅”
…it will say “I love James May” on it.
（克拉克森坏笑）
(CLARKSON LAUGHING)
第二天早上，哈蒙德没显出一点着急
The next morning,Hammond was in no hurry
离开酒店的意思
to leave the hotel.
-哈蒙德。-干嘛？
-Hammond. -What?
-哈蒙德，出来吧。 -不
-Hammond, come out. -No.
不，我还要…我还没…我还在打包
No, I’m a bit…I haven’t… I’m just packing my bag.
-已经8点45分了。-好啦，我只是在给我的行李打包
-It’s quarter to 9:00. -Yeah, I’m just packing my bag.
我在打包
I’m packing.
事实上，不，我感觉不是很好
Actually, no, I’m not very well.
现在外面没人
There’s nobody here.
-我感觉不舒服。 -哈蒙德！
-I’m poorly. -Hammond!
哈蒙德：好了。我出来了
HAMMOND: Right. I’m coming out.
唔。
Ooh.
现在，你看
Now, look.
-这真是太糟了。 -没错
-This is bad. -Yes.
但我恐怕还有比这更糟糕的事情
But I’m afraid the news gets even worse.
还有什么事能比我这件T恤更糟
It can’t be any worse.
我们被要求驾驶同一款车
We’ve both chosen the same car.
好吧，但听上去还不算太糟，不是吗？
Well, that’s not so bad, is it?
-你意思是只有一辆车？ -没错
-You mean there’s only one? -Yes.
所以，圣特鲁佩斯
So, Saint-Tropez,
敞篷宾利，两个大老爷们
convertible Bentley, two men.
噢，我们看起来简直…
Oh, we are looking…
（不约而同地笑）
(BOTH LAUGHING)
才明白怎么回事
Just realised.
克拉克森：两个老爷们坐在同一辆宾利里
CLARKSON: Two men in a Bentley.
问题不在于我们开的是宾利，我们应该认识这点
It isn’t just the Bentley,we ought to make that plain.
而在于这是辆敞篷车
It’s any convertible.
把任何两个大男人塞进一辆敞篷车里
Put two men in a convertible car,
然后打开敞篷，问题马上就显现出来了
take the roof off and instantly, questions are raised.
哈蒙德：幸运的是在车里，外人看不见我的T恤
HAMMOND: Still, at least in the car,they couldn’t see my T-shirt.
直到…
Until…
为啥要停在这？
Why are you pulling over here?
我突然想逛逛街
I just want to have a look at something.
-逛什么？ -一些东西
-What? -Just stuff.
-什么东西？ -只是…我想欣赏那些船
-What stuff? -Just… I want to look at the boats.
哈蒙德：你究竟想干什么？
HAMMOND: What are you doing?
-这地方很漂亮。-我不要停车
-It’s a nice place. -I don’t want to stop.
-这里到处是人… -下车吧
-There’s people…-Just get out.
-哈蒙德：不。-下来
-HAMMOND: No. -Yes.
-哈蒙德：不！-下车
-HAMMOND: No! -Yes.
不，我要找个洞钻进去
No, I’m going to hide.
我绝不下车。就躲在这
I’m not getting out.I’m getting in here.
那我只好一个人了
I’m on my own.
哈蒙德：噢，天啊
HAMMOND: Oh, God.
我要去散散步，把他扔开一会
I’m just going to go for a walk and leave him.
哈蒙德：主啊，赶快结束这一切吧
HAMMOND: Make this end.
我打赌输了
I lost a bet.
哦，天啊
Oh, God.
杰瑞米，我们能离开这吗？
Jeremy, can we go now?
克拉克森：不
CLARKSON: No.
这些船哪些有螺旋桨
Do any of these boats have propellers
并且马上就要离开的？
and are any of them likely to be running right now?
又见狗仔队。这里有很多偷♥拍♥的人。
Paparazzi again.There’s quite a lot of paps here.
没错。所以我们走好吗
Yeah. So let’s go.
哈蒙德：但是，我们遇到了点小麻烦
HAMMOND: There was, however,a small problem.
克拉克森：这里…哈蒙德：我们的车原来是停在这吗？
CLARKSON: Was it… HAMMOND: Is this where it was?
-是啊。-好吧，现在没了，怎么回事？
-Yes. -Well, it’s not, is it?
我猜可能是这么回事
I tell you why it’s not.
这里是禁止停车的，你觉得呢？
You can’t park here, can you?
这里允许停车吗？你能在这…什么？
Can you park here? Are you allowed to… What?
好吧，显然这里是禁止停车的，而我们的车被警♥察♥拖走了
No, you can’t park here or that’s a picture of a car being towed.
-你知道吗，我实在是…-车是被拖走了对吧？
-Do you know, I genuinely… -Has the car been towed away?
好吧，看上去的确如此
Well, yes.
你在这等一会
Just you wait here
我把车要回来
and I’ll go get it.
-放轻松。 -是啊
-Just relax. -Yeah.
离得不远，真的，一个小时就回
It’s not far, actually,I’ll be back in an hour.
我确定曾经某人也一定和我一样不爽
I’m sure somebody somewhere at some time has been unhappier.
别这样，别这样，别这样，别这样
Please, please, please, please.
别这么干，这一点也不好玩。
No, not funny. Not even halfway funny.
打开这该死的门。杰瑞米，开门
Open the damn door.Jeremy, open the door.
你怎么能这样？
How do you do that?
我上车了
I’m getting in.
克拉克森：现在，你们一定在疑惑
CLARKSON: Now, at this point you may be wondering
为什么我们被要求同乘一辆宾利
why both of us chose a Bentley.
好吧，事实其中一部分原因是它很漂亮
Well, partly it’s because we think that these days, it looks good.
但主要原因是它性能出色
But mostly it’s because it’s now available
搭载了一台优秀，轻质，高亢的4升V8引擎
with a brilliant, lighter,louder 4-litre V8.
但这些优点在哈蒙德思维里都不是最重要的
Not that this was foremost in Hammond’s mind.
-杰瑞米·克拉克森。-什么
-Jeremy Clarkson. -Yes.
你把我的座椅加热给打开了吧？
Have you put my seat heater on full?
是的，没错。
Yes, I have.
噢，伙计，这简直是…
Oh, mate, that’s…
-是的，这就是真♥相♥。-噢！
-Yes! Result. -Oh!
太难受了。
Just horrific.
-这就是症结所在。-噢！
-That’s a result right there. -Oh!
克拉克森：接着我发现了另一个原因
CLARKSON: Then I got another result.
一条干净，通畅的道路
A clear, open road.
（伯明翰口音）“稳住你的脊椎”
(BRUMMIE ACCENT)”It’s got a bit of poke.”
-哇噢！-噢，这才是它应该发出的声浪
-Whoa! -Oh, that’s how it should sound.
克拉克森：你认为这车感觉上去像什么？
CLARKSON: Do you know what it feels like?
-一台跑车。-没错
-An sportscar. -It does.
你把我的座椅加热给打开了吧？
Have you put my seat heater on?
是的，没错
Yes, I have.
（大笑）我真是太…
(LAUGHING) I’m really sor…
这是一台速度机器
It’s a machine, this.
你好，极品飞车！
Hello, machine!
其中一个我喜欢这车的原因是
One of the reasons why I like this car so much,
你知道这车不只是贴了宾利的标志那么简单而已
you know it isn’t just a Bentley badge,
这车使用了最复杂的汽车工程技术
there’s some properly difficult engineering that’s gone into this car.
杰瑞米，你又把我的座椅加热给打开了吧？你这个…
Jeremy, have you put my seat heater on again? You…
-（笑）-这真不…我…
-(LAUGHING) -That’s not… I…
噢
Oh.
如果我坐起来，外面的人就会看见我的T恤
And if I lift myself up,they can see my T-shirt better
如果我坐下，我就热死了。天啊！
and if I sit down, I cook. God!
克拉克森：所以，很棒的引擎
CLARKSON: So, clever engine,
优秀的四轮驱动系统
clever four-wheel-drive system,
这些真不错
looks a lot better these days.
哈蒙德：迷人的声浪
HAMMOND: Great noise.
克拉克森：没错
CLARKSON: Great noise.
真是一辆好车
‘t’s a great car.
问题在于这车还是给人一种鲁尼的感觉
The problem it has still is that Rooney flavour.
鲁尼的感觉就是说
The whiff of Wayne means
当别人看见你驾驶着这车会让你觉得很尴尬
you do feel embarrassed to turn up in it.
哈蒙德！
Hammond!
不要再打开我的座椅加热
Stop putting my seat heater on.
很快，抛开座椅加热，火♥辣♥的宾利，以及炙热阳光的问题
Soon, despite the hot seats,the hot car and the hot sun,
车内的气氛变得十分低沉
the atmosphere became frosty.
所以我们决定再次分开
So we decided to split up.