完美公路之旅（2013）

(INAUDIBLE)
显然没有
No.
所以，我们做到了。这就是如何击败酒店服务生的办法
So, there we go.That is how to beat the valet parkers.
买♥♥一辆他们玩不转的车
Buy a car they can’t drive.
没错，但问题又来了
Yes, but the problem is
今天我们将要
today we are going
从里维埃拉前往圣特鲁佩斯
down the French Riviera to Saint-Tropez
我不确定
and I’m not sure
我要开着这辆车去那里
I want to go in that.
我不确信这辆车能带着我们去任何地方
I’m not sure I’d actually go anywhere in it.
（引擎咆哮）
(ENGINE REVVING)
这是捷豹E型车
This is a Jaguar E-Type.
这是1962年款1系敞篷版
It’s a 1962 Series 1 Roadster
配备一台血统纯正的3.8升直列六缸引擎
with the proper 3.8-litre straight six.
（引擎咆哮）
(ENGINE REVVING)
而且这车与其它任何一辆1962年款E型车都不同
And it’s not just any 1962 E-Type.
这台是我的
It’s mine.
我也想不出还有哪款车
And I can think of no car
比这车更适合今天这样的好天气
more perfect for a day like today.
喔，我能
Oh, I can.
因为我现在驾驶的是捷豹V8 F型
Because I am in a V8 F-Type.
这车比哈蒙德的那辆更快
This is faster than Hammond’s E-Type.
同时也更舒适，更环保，更可靠
It’s more comfortable,more economical, more reliable,
空调也更优秀
more air-conditioned.
甚至价格也只有8万6千英镑而已（85万人♥民♥币）
And even though it costs £86,000,
更实惠
it’s cheaper.
起床了，法国佬
Wake up, Frenchies.
噢，快得和火箭一样
Oh, that’s a racket.
你能听见我车尾那动听的排气声浪么？
Can you hear the exhausts from back there?
你把远在威尼斯的人都给吵醒了
They can hear them back in Venice.
克拉克森：从没哪辆车比我现在开的这辆
CLARKSON: Never has a car been more perfectly tailored to its environment
更适合这里的环境了
than this is here.
这是协和客机诞生的国度
This is where the jetset was invented.
我们正置身于一个捷豹的国度，我能感受到
We are in Jag country, I can feel it.
和这里任何一家餐厅的生意会持续火爆下去不同
Not a restaurant bill will have been paid around here for decades.
捷豹它来去匆匆，只留下两道轮胎印
Just Jaguar tyre marks where they’ve screeched away.
“抱歉，我回去取钱”
“I’m sorry.I’ll pop off and get my wallet.”
克拉克森：70年代有一部电视剧
CLARKSON: There used to be a TV series in the ’70s
名叫“说服者”。主演是罗杰·摩尔和汤尼·寇蒂斯
（托尼·柯蒂斯：美国50年代老牌名演员）
called The Persuaders!with Roger Moore and Tony Curtis.
我耳边仿佛又响起了那首主题曲
And I’m hearing that music now.
（说服者，主题曲）
(THE PERSUADERS!THEMEPLAYING)
罗杰·摩尔和汤尼·寇蒂斯
Roger Moore, Tony Curtis,
驾驶着法拉利Dino和阿斯顿马丁DBS
whizzing about down here in a Ferrari Dino
飞驰而过
and an Aston Martin DBS,
侦破无数大案
solving many things,
打击犯罪拯救美女
punching men and saving womens.
哈蒙德：当我也在重温那段美妙的回忆时，我的同事又开始了…
HAMMOND: I was enJoying it, too.Until…
哈蒙德，这里有家毕加索艺术馆
Hammond, the Picasso museum’s along here.
我们停下来欣赏欣赏吧
We could stop and have a look.
你认真的?我正驾驶着我的捷豹E型车
Really? I’m in a Jaguar,
沐浴在浪漫的法国南部风景中
my E-Type, in the south of France,
你却要我停下车去看一个
and you want me stop driving to look at a man
把耳朵画错位画家的画展？
whose ears are in the wrong place?
错了，你说的是梵高
No, that was Van Gogh.
毕加索是那个
Picasso’s the one who puts eyes
画错眼睛的哥们
on the wrong side of somebody’s head.
去吧，这是一次旅行。让我们看看画展
come on, it’s a road trip.Let’s look at some pictures.
哈蒙德：你明白你刚才说的是什么话么？
HAMMOND: Did you not hear what you just said?
“这是一次自驾游，让我们去看看画展”
“It’s a road trip.Let’s look at some pictures.”
绝不！
No!
噢，为啥你这么不文艺？
Oh, why are you so uncultured?
在瑞昂莱潘，身材火♥辣♥的姑娘们
In Juan-les-Pins,where all the girls have
穿着设计别致的比基尼
carefully designed topless swimsuits
在海滩引诱着各路游客的目光
and racehorses they keep just for fun,
开个玩笑，哈哈哈哈（这是个冷笑话 — —#）
for a laugh, a-ha-ha,
我们停下车让哈蒙德享受些美食
we pulled over so Hammond could look at some food.
-怎么了？ -我不喜欢吃章鱼
-What now? -I don’t like octopus.
这菜有问题么？
What’s the matter with it?
-这个… -你想吃我的松露
-Well… -Do you want my truffles
配鸡蛋卷吗？
on an omelette?
我不喜欢松露。你把我的这次自驾游给毁了
Don’t like truffles.You are ruining this trip for me.
-继续。-每次你停下来找吃的
-Go on. -Every time we stop for food,
-你就让我吃章鱼…-这味道很棒的！
-you make me eat octopus… -It’s nice!
…或者是螃蟹眼睛、蜗牛的触须
…or crab’s eyes or snail’s legs.
每次当我们出发没多久，你就又要停下来
And then every time we get going again,you make us stop again
去看那些破砖烂瓦和童话故事里的阳台
to look at a pile of bricks and then that balcony from a story.
这是一次自驾游
It’s a road trip.
我们就应该去游览一些…瞧瞧我带你去过的那些名胜
We’re supposed to be seeing…Look what I’ve brought you to.
在路上
On the road.
我把你带到了我最喜欢的一家餐厅
I’ve brought you to one of my favourite restaurants.
-一张靠近海岸的餐桌…-这不是…
-A table for two by the waterside… -It’s not…
快吃
Eat it.
-这不是一次美食之旅，是吗？ -快吃
-Not an eating trip, is it? -Eat it.
-吃掉章鱼肉。-它还在蠕动
-Eat the octopus. -It moved.
它没有。这只是它的一条腿而已
It didn’t.It’s only one of its legs.
我…
I…
你想找家高速路便利店
Would you like to stop at a service station
买♥♥包炸薯片吃吗？
and get some crisps?
午餐过后，我们来到海湾散步
After lunch, we went for a stroll along the seafront
顺便看看风景
to look at the sights.
但本片是一部定位家庭级别的娱乐节目
But because this is a family show,
所以某些画面我们必须要打上马赛克（阻碍人类进步的绊脚石啊~~~）
we can’t show you what those sights were.
就这样，我俩欣赏着这片春色，直到手里冰淇凌融化殆尽
Eventually, though,our ice creams melted completely
之后我们又上路了
so we set off.
各位明白我们一直说的完美公路之旅是什么意思吗？
You know we were talking about the perfect road trip?
要是现在坐在兰博基尼和布加迪里那会显得多么不和谐？
How wrong would the Lamborghini and Bugatti have been here?
或者福特嘉年华
Or the Ford Fiesta.
-没错。-（笑）
-Yeah. -(BOTH LAUGHING)
克拉克森：问题在于当我们抵达圣拉斐尔时
CLARKSON: The problem is that when we arrived in Saint-Raphael
交通就如看见的这般糟糕
the traffic was predictable.
捷豹E型车也出毛病了
And so was the E-Type.
哈蒙德的爱驹发出了很不和谐的声音
Hammond’s car is sounding poorly.
-（引擎异响） -噢，老天
-(ENGINE CLUNKING) -Oh, God.
它能在堵成这样的路况下坚持到圣特鲁佩斯吗？
Will it be able to do the traffic jam into Saint-Tropez?
呃…
Um…
说实话…我真的…
I’m honestly… I’m really…
我真为它担心，真的，我是真心的
I am worried about her,actually, I really am.
你确定？
Are you?
噢，老天，听上去不妙
Oh, God, that doesn’t sound right.
克拉克森：来自60年代英国的特有声响
CLARKSON: The sound of Britain in the ’60s.
嘀嗝-嘀嗝-嘀嗝-嘀嗝-嘀…
Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding…
（伯明翰口音）“诞生于英格兰中部的骄傲杰作”
(BRUMMIE ACCENT)”Made in the Midlands with pride.
“啊哈，我们把它装配的非常精良，确实如此，非常完美”
“Ah, we’ve really put this together very nicely, we have, very nice.
“那辆E型车是我们的杰作，我们的杰作”
“Done a good job with that E-Type, we have.”
喔，油尺太烫了，完全不能碰
Ow, dipstick’s too hot,can’t touch that.
-噢。-理查德
-Oh. -Richard.
-什么事？ 我为你买♥♥了一件礼物
-What? -I’ve bought you something
让你振作起来
to cheer you up.
-你买♥♥了啥？ -这是件小礼物
-Have you? -It’s a little present.
是吗？
Is it?
一个捞鱼网
It’s a fishing net.
我知道这和你的E型车有些许不同
I know it’s not the same as an E-Type
但你的车既然趴窝了，你就有机会用到它了
but now this doesn’t work any more,you can have that.
谢谢你的鱼网
Thank you for my fishing net.
我花了三欧元，比你的车还贵（25元人♥民♥币）
It’s three Euros,which is more than this is worth.
异口同声：目前如此
BOTH: Now.
克拉克森：之后我突发奇想
CLARKSON: I then had an idea.
我们现在开始一场比赛看看谁先到圣特鲁佩斯
We’ll have a race from here to Saint-Tropez
但我们会在这留宿一晚，好吗？
but we’ll stay the night, yes?
-比赛。-可我的车…
-A race. -What…