完美公路之旅（2013）

（纪念碑山谷：美国亚利桑那州以北，犹他州以南，
科罗拉多高原一部分，美国荒凉西部的标志形象）
When you think of an American road trip,you think of Monument Valley,
州际公路笔直延伸至漫无边际的远方
that road spearing off into the distance.
你可以把这里想象成欧洲版的纪念碑山谷
Well, this is Europe’s equivalent of Monument Valley.
这里可能是本次旅行到目前为止少数几个我喜欢的路段之一
This might just be my favourite bit of our trip so far.
这车、这风景
The car, the place.
太完美了
This is perfect.
克拉克森：这片神奇的土地可能是造物主
CLARKSON: When God was making this part of the world,
为小钢炮创造出来的。这就是它存在的理由
it was for hot hatchbacks.That’s what it’s for.
不幸的是，即便如此
Unfortunately, however,
我们在阿尔卑斯山路中的撒欢行为
our headlong charge down the Alps
还是伴随着大♥陆♥的终结戛然而止
was halted because we ran out of land.
（叹气）
(EXHALES)
-唔,这里。-什么？
-Mmm, that. -What?
好吧，前面就是蒙特卡洛。如果我们继续开着大众和福特进城
Well, it’s Monte-Carlo.If we drive into there
他们会以流浪汉的名义拘捕我们
in a Volkswagen and a Ford,they’ll arrest us for vagrancy.
确实如此
That’s a good point.
-我想说，军♥火♥贩子在那都没事… -是的。
-I mean, you can be an arms dealer… -Yeah.
…但是你不能开着福特嘉年华进城
…but you can’t drive around in a Fiesta.
-这是底线。 -我们又要换车了
-There’s a limit. -We’re going to need to switch.
克拉克森：为了掩盖屌♥丝气质，我们选择了这两辆车
CLARKSON: For posing,these were the cars we selected.
哈蒙德挑了一辆兰博基尼敞篷版Aventador
A Lamborghini Aventador Roadster for Hammond
而我则挑了一台敞篷版布加迪威龙
and a Bugatti Veyron for me.
这可不是一辆普通版的威龙
Now, this is no ordinary Veyron,
这是一辆维特斯特别版超级运动型威龙
this is the Grand Sport Vitesse.
八升排量，16气缸引擎
Eight-litre, quad-cam W16.
极速能达到251英里每小时（404公里每小时）
Top speed 251 miles an hour
在顶棚拆掉的状态下
with no roof.
这里才是这车的栖息地
Here it is in its natural habitat.
我现在切到二档。用到了二档
I’m in second gear.I’m now using second gear
自从我开上这车以来第一次切到二档
for, well, the first time since I set off.
现在又回到一档
And back down to first.
这里的居民很神奇，他们早上十点钟
It is extraordinary that here men get up
从单身公♥寓♥里爬起来
from their bachelor pads at about 10:00,
开着用本应交给国家的税金买♥♥来的车出门
get into their cars that they bought using money they should have paid in tax
然后花一天的时间
and then spend all day
在大街上漫无目的地转来转去
driving round and round and round in circles.
这有啥意义？
Why?
哈蒙德：路人看我开着橘色兰博基尼驶过时
HAMMOND: People see me in my orange Lamborghini Aventador Roadster
会这么想“这是个有钱有势的大人物”
and think, “Yes.There’s a man of potency and wealth.”
过了两秒钟，他们看见我身后那辆布加迪威龙
And then two seconds later,they see that Bugatti Veyron
于是又会这么想“这是个更有钱有势的大人物”
and think, “There’s a richer,more powerful man.”
我为你感到遗憾，伙计
I’m sorry about this, mate,
但你再次选了一辆错误的车
but once again,you’re in the wrong car.
我要纠正你关于“再一次”的措辞
I take issue with the “once again”
但是的，我承认这是我第一次选错车
but, yes, for the first time,I’ve got the wrong car.
（克拉克森傻笑）
(CLARKSON LAUGHS)
克拉克森：没人关注你，没人
CLARKSON: Nobody is looking at you,nobody.
哈蒙德：如果我花29万英镑（288万人♥民♥币）
HAMMOND: If I had spent £290000
在一辆兰博基尼身上用来绕着摩纳哥闲逛
on a Lamborghini to drive around Monaco
并且你出现在我的车里
and you turned up in that,
我宁愿直接把它开上墙
I’d just drive this into a wall.
这是全世界最拜金的地方
This is the snobbiest place on earth.
它让…
It makes…
它让洛杉矶在其面前如同北朝鲜般相形见绌
It makes Los Angeles look like North Korea.
这种势利的氛围也会
And this snobbery is an issue
体现在酒店服务生为你泊车时
when you try to get your car valet parked.
问题在于那个伙计刚刚在巴黎饭店门口停好了他的
The problem is that chap has just turned up outside the Hotel de Paris
法拉利加尼弗尼亚
in a Ferrari California.
法拉利最廉价的车型
The cheapest Ferrari there is.
虽然如此，看上去他很喜欢那辆车
Nevertheless, he likes it very much.
是的，车很漂亮。停那的样子确实不错
Yeah, and it’s nice.And as a result, it’s there.
-是吧？起来不错。 -没错
-Okay? ‘Cause it looks good. -Yeah.
但仅仅一会的功夫
But in a minute,
一个哈萨克斯坦军♥火♥贩子就开着一辆更拉风的车停在了门口
a Kazakhstani arms dealer is going to arrive in a nicer car
而那辆法拉利就被服务生给挪走了
and the Ferrari is going to be taken away
泊到酒店另一边的多层停车场
and put in a multi-storey on the other side of Monaco.
哈蒙德：但我们停在这里的是
HAMMOND: But we pull up there
一辆布加迪威龙和一辆兰博基尼Aventador敞篷版
in a Bugatti Veyron and a Lamborghini Aventador Roadster,
你是说还有比这两台更棒的车会出现？
are you’re saying something better is going to come along than that?
在摩纳哥，我打赌
In Monte-Carlo, I promise you,
肯定会有开着企业号♥航母来花天酒地的金主
someone would turn up inthe USS Enterprise
那时我们的车肯定会被挪到阴暗的角落里去
and our cars would be in the multi-storey.
这和你的车多昂贵没关系
It doesn’t matter how good your car is,
服务生最终还是会把你的车给挪走
the valet parkers will ultimately take it away
因为总会有更拉风的神器出现
because something better always arrives.
肯定有种方法能解决这个问题。这是一次完美汽车之旅
There’s got to be a way around this.This is the perfect motoring trip.
所以我们今天要找到一辆车停在那，
So we go and check in there, in a car,
-这是我们完美之旅的一部分… -是的
-on our perfect road trip…-Yeah.
…第二天当我们出来，我们的车必须还在门口
…we come out in the morning,it’s still there.
这就是我们的目标
That’s our challenge.
必须是辆非常特别的车
It’s going to have to be pretty special.
噢，没错
Oh, yeah.
克拉克森：哈蒙德，最终选择了这辆车
CLARKSON: Hammond, however, opted to go
有史以来销量最高的车型
with one of the best-selling cars the world has ever seen.
福特T型车
A Model T Ford.
但我们马上面临了一个问题
And straightaway there was a problem.
我们不知道如何操纵它
We didn’t know how it worked.
好吧，让我们瞧瞧这家伙
Right, now, look.
检查都有些什么东西
Let’s list the things.
一共有…一共有三个踏板
There are… There’s three pedals.
你是怎么…挡把在哪？这是档位吗？这是…
How do you… Where’s the gear?Is this the gear? That’s…
哈蒙德：噢，如果这是…这玩意感觉不像离合器
HAMMOND: Oh, if it’s…I haven’t got my foot on the clutch.
-这不是离合器。-好吧，这个…
-That isn’t the clutch. -Well, then…
哪个是油门？
Which one’s the accelerator?
这是油门。这居然不是踏板，我确定…
That’s the accelerator.It isn’t a pedal, I’m sure…
我怎么把脚放上去？
How am I going to get my foot up there?
-呃…该怎么做？ -好吧，启动引擎
-Um… What’s that do? -Right, well, start it.
-（喇叭声） -这不是点火开关！
-(HORN HONKING) -That’s not the starter!
克拉克森：最终，哈蒙德还是让这老家伙动了起来
CLARKSON: Eventually,Hammond did make it begin.
但接下来他意识到自己还不会让这老爷子停下来
But then we learned he didn’t know how to make it stop.
噢，现在该怎么办？
Oh, now what have I done?
我们在加速！
We’re going faster!
那不是手刹。停住。停下来。
That’s not the handbrake.Stop it. Stop it.
-（尖叫声） -把它停下来！
-(SCREAMING) -Stop it now!
（两人尖叫）
(BOTH SCREAMING)
好的，前进
Right, forwards.
-等等。准备。-前进
-Hang on. Now, ready. -Forwards.
-这不是前进。-不，它没前进，对吧？
-That’s not forwards. -No, it’s not at all, is it?
停下来。让它停住
Stop it. Make it stop.
它没有要停的意思，你觉得呢？
It doesn’t really want to, do you know?
停下！
Make it stop!
呃，杰瑞米，我们让整个摩纳哥都陷入了拥堵
Uh, Jeremy, we’ve held up Monaco.
-我们？ -瞧后面
-Have we? -Look.
噢，天啊
Oh, God.
不一会，我们就接近了目的地
Soon, however,we were nearing our destination.
我不是经常说这样的话，哈蒙德
It’s not often I say this, Hammond,
但你这回确实天才了一把
but you have been a genius.
你从没说过这样的话
You have never said that.
因为如果我们不能驾驶这辆车
Because if we can’t drive this,
我们用什么来击败巴黎酒店的服务生？
what chance do the valet parkers at the Hotel de Paris have?
没有了，这是我玩过最复杂的车
None, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
克拉克森：他们会想把它挪走，但他们不会成功的
CLARKSON: They’ll want to move this but they won’t be able to.
（坏笑）
(LAUGHING)
-你好，先生。-你好，先生
-BonJour, monsieur. -Hello, sir.
熄火
Shut it down.
哈蒙德：交给你了
HAMMOND: All yours.
-你好。 -你好
-BonJour. -BonJour.
你好
BonJour.
克拉克森：接下来，看看服务生能不能搞定这车？
CLARKSON: So, would the valetstaff be successful?
（听不清）