完美公路之旅（2013）

原本以为这一圈就结束了
That really was the final straw.
（雷声）
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
后来才发现噩梦远没结束
And then it turned out it wasn’t.
好的，刚才是热身圈，我们已经熟悉了赛道，对吧？
So, we got the hang of it,we now know the course, yeah?
现在开始跑计时赛
Time for timed laps.
-什么？-是的，现在开始跑计时赛
-What? -Well, we do timed laps now,
这才是正题。我觉得我们每人再跑上十圈
that’s what we do.I reckon if we do 1 0 each
就能得出谁是最优秀的车手
and then we can just work out how consistent we are,
在成绩上一见高低，怎么样？
where we can just shave those extra seconds out, yeah?
明天，我会请你吃
Tomorrow, you are going to eat
野熊的蛋蛋
a badger’s left teste.
克拉克森：结果，我们全然不顾外面的瓢泼大雨
CLARKSON: Andso, flying in the face of common sense,
又回到了赛道上
we got back out there.
计时赛，所以这回是动真格的
Timed laps now, so it’s really critical
要勇敢地踩下油门
to just be brave enough to keep that power in.
（哈蒙德大笑）
(HAMMOND LAUGHING)
克拉克森：计时赛有什么意义？
CLARKSON: What’s the point of timed laps?
他比我多80马力…噢！…比我多得多
He’s got 80 more horsepower…Oh! …more than I have.
他比我更擅长玩这个
He’s better at it than I am.
他配置了限滑差速器
And he’s got a limited-slip differential.
我什么都没有
I haven’t got one of those.
所以每当我过弯，我的一个轮子就会打滑
So, when I go round the corner,one wheel spins and that’s it.
哦嚯！天啊，当你做出完美滑行的时候那感觉太爽了
Woo-hoo! God, it feels good when you get it right.
哇噢！
Whoa!
噢!哦，我的天！
Oh! Oh, my!
（大笑）
(LAUGHING)
他也会…
He will have been…
噢，看见他了，我能从这里看见他的大白牙
Oh, here he comes,I can see his teeth from here.
好的，拉力赛的弯道超车。真有意思
Right, overtaking on a rally stage.This is interesting.
克拉克森：噢，他超过了我！
CLARKSON: Oh, he’s coming through!
噢，不！丑陋的伯明翰小矮子超过了我！
Oh, no! The hideous little Brummie has torn past!
啊哈！追上你了！
A-ha! Got you!
噢，他居然这么干…噢，他全都做到了
Oh, he’s done it…Oh, he’s just made everything
更糟的是，我看不见任何东西
much worse now, I can’t see a thing.
一片模糊
Muddy goggles.
（呻♥吟♥）
(GROANS)
我真想把他弄成残废
Every bone in his crotch,that is what I’m going to break.
（大笑）
(LAUGHING)
喔！
Oh!
克拉克森：很快，天气变得越来越糟
CLARKSON: Soon, the weather got so bad,
甚至哈蒙德也看不清赛道了
even Hammond couldn’t see where he was going.
见鬼！见鬼！噢！
Shit! Shit! Oh!
克拉克森：因此，他提议先暂停，享用一顿拉力午餐
CLARKSON: So, he suggested we stop for one of his special rallying lunches.
唔。尽情享用
Mmm. Okay, tuck in.
-真的？-唔-唔
-Really? -Mmm-hmm.
这是法国本地的特色热狗
‘Cause this part of France is famous for its hotdogs.
这上面抹了法式芥末酱
It’s got French mustard on it.
-是的…-等等
-Yeah… -Wait a minute.
什么？
What?
你知道这热狗肠里都是些什么吗？
You do know what’s in that sausage, don’t you?
-香肠。-猪蹄子
-Sausage. -Pigs’ toenails,
猪的睫毛…
eyelashes…
闭嘴快吃。趁你享用美食的时候，我手里已经有咱俩的成绩了
Shut up and enjoy it. And, anyway, while you enjoy it,
I’ve got the timings here.
我在1分16秒，13秒之间
I’m around the 1:16, 1:13,that kind of mark.
-唔-唔。-你的成绩在1分53，46…
-Mmm-hmm. -You’re 1:53,1:46…
克拉克森：泥巴都进到我的耳朵里了！
CLARKSON: I’ve got soil in my ears!
1分35，1分40…基本上，可以看出
1：35,1：40… Basically, what this is showing is that I am clearly
我比你快得多
a lot better at this than you.
-我要和你再打个赌。-什么？
-I’ll do you a deal. -What?
我们再跑一圈。
We will do one more lap.
生死战
Do-or-die lap.
如果我赢了，我立马消失
If I’m faster, we leave immediately.
-如果你比我快？-是的
-If you’re faster than me? -Yes.
好吧，但如果我更快，我们就玩到天黑
All right, well, if I’m faster,we carry on till dark.
-你能做到？-唔-嗯
-You’ll do that? -Mmm-hmm.
-认真的？-嗯-嗯
-Seriously? -Mmm-hmm.
好吧
All right.
哈蒙德：我第一个出发
HAMMOND: I went first.
（法语）
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
我们出发了
And we’re off.
好的，现在，我不止要击败他，我还想羞辱他
Right, now, I don’t want to just beat him, I want to humiliate him.
噢，是的！这才对
Oh, yes! That was correct.
噢！
Oh!
驶过一个大坑
That was a monstrous dump from below there.
上帝也加入了这场角逐
Nature is joining in with us now.
噢，这真是太有趣了
Oh, this is just epically good fun.
（碰）
(THUDS)
完事，杰瑞米，我觉得你如果比我慢上一分钟
All right, Jeremy, I reckon if you get within a minute of that,
我都会错愕不已。你没机会的
I’ll be staggered. Not a chance.
克拉克森：我胸有成竹地
CLARKSON: Filled with determination,
把车停在了起跑线
I lined up the BMW on the start line.
（法语）
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
好的，我要赢下这场比赛
Right, I am going to win this
这样我们就能结束这无聊的一切
and then we can stop doing it.
这里…哦！等等
That’s… Oh! Hang on a minute.
很好！
Yes!
你觉得怎么样？
What do you think of that?
悄悄的。是的！
Sneaky beaky. Yes!
（克拉克森奸笑）
(CLARKSON LAUGHING)
是的！
Yes!
上帝是站在我这边的
The gods are on my side.
这将是伟大的一圈！
This is going to be one hell of a lap!
我们汇合对比成绩
We then met up to see how we’d done.
理查德·哈蒙德，你成绩是1分17秒3
Richard Hammond, you did it in one minute,17.3.
-虽然不是我最快的成绩但也不错。-很好，这是个标杆
-Not my fastest but not bad. -Well, it was a standing start.
是的，确实，当然是的。没错，继续，你的呢
It was, yes, of course it was.Yes, go on, then.
-我的成绩，28秒…-然后？
-Me, 28 seconds… -Yes?
一分多少？
One minute what?
就是28秒
28 seconds.
你的一分在哪里…
How did you find a minute in the…
-我想说…-因为我是车神
-I mean… -Ultimate driving machine.
以及优秀的宝马Z4
And a BMW Z4.
是嘛？
Really?
克拉克森：我立刻走人
CLARKSON: I left immediately.
开始完成去到波城的最后350英里（563公里）
And set off on the 350-mile drive to Pau
驾驶着一辆阿斯顿马丁V12
in a V12 Aston Martin.
哈蒙德，则开着一辆大众甲壳虫（新911）
Hammond, meanwhile,was in a Volkswagen Beetle
而气氛，依旧阴沉
and moaning, as usual.
他作弊的手段越来越下流
His cheating is getting out of control.
这一切都因为他用Stig作弊和超近道变得毫无意义
There’s no point doing anything if he’s just going to borrow The Stig
这是他这些天做的所有下三滥事情
or cut a corner, which I can only imagine is what he did in that instance.
他一定只跑了一个弯道，连作弊都做得这么没技术含量！
It must have been one hell of a corner, he can’t even cheat well!
我承认我超的近道确实短了那么一点点
I admit my shortcut was a bit short.
而且圈速确实离谱了那么一丢丢。但是你瞧
And the time was a bit implausible.But look,
天气变好了而且我现在开上了阿斯顿马丁征服
the weather is improving and now I’m in an Aston Martin Vanquish.
这是一辆高贵华丽的车
This is a truly magnificent car.
至今为止最棒的阿斯顿
Best Aston yet, by a long way.
它柔和了DBS的刚猛
It’s a blend of the hardcore DBS
也借鉴了Virage的舒适
and the slightly softer Virage.
这真是极好的
It’s just tremendous.
现在我要把镜头交给哈蒙德
And now I shall hand you over to Richard Hammond,
他会向各位解释为什么他开的911
who shall try to explain why the Porsche 911
在某些方面和前N代的版本
that he’s driving is in some way different
有所不同
to all the Porsche 911s that have gone before.
（转速声）
(REVVING)
他怎么能说911都是一个样？
How can he go on about 911s all being the same?
让我给大家揭揭阿斯顿马丁系列的老底
Let me talk you through the Aston Martin range.
Vantage V8, V12 Vantage
Vantage V8, V12 Vantage,
DB9, DBS, Virage,以及前面那货
DB9, DBS, Virage, that,
它们事实上都是一回事