完美公路之旅2（2014）

this is stage 2
第二关是啥啊
what is stage 2
在你修车的时候
well while you were gone
在这优美的托斯卡纳小镇里 我画了条赛道
I worked out a lap around these buildings in this beautiful old Tuscany town
嗯 要跑多少圈呢
well how many laps
能跑多少圈就跑多少圈
as many as you can manage
那最后还在动的就是赢家么
well the last one still running is the winner
是的 -我还是去撞墙好了
yeah — I’m gonna drive it into a wall
这就是我圈的赛道
this was the stage I had lined up
在一个废弃的托斯卡纳小镇里
it was round a stunning deserted Tuscany village
哈哈 看好了
OK this is it
你不会用一辆真的法拉利这么干
you wouldn’t do this in a normal Ferrari
但用山寨版的
but you do it in this one
就好多了
it’s better
我以宙斯的屁♥眼♥发誓 小哥要跪了啊
how in the name of Zeus’s butthole of I ended up doing this
斯堪的纳维亚式漂移
right scan-flip
从来没这么开过法拉利
never been done in a Ferrari before
哦 我啥都看不见了
oh can’t see anything now
我又瞎 又热 又悲催
I’m blind I’m hot I’m miserable
屁都看不见
I can’t see a thing
第二关的灰尘确实是问题
yeah the dust is a problem on this stage
但这体验也是独一无二
that’s what makes it a unique event
突然间我有了个主意
then I had an idea
如果我追上他 把他撞出赛道
if I catch up to him and ram him off the track
那么他就输了 悲剧就结束了
then he will lose and the misery will be over
添乱啊 这是城市街道 又不是房♥车赛
that’s not helping it’s not supposed to be stock car racing it’s city stage
看老纸撞他 撞死他
I’m ramming him I am ramming him
不要啊
no no no
这个 猩猩同学 这不是拆迁大奖赛
that’s, Clarkson, is not a demolition derby
好歹我开的也是法拉利
I’m in a Ferrari
万幸的是 悲惨的很多圈后
mercifully as we wrecked up more and more laps
车的疲态逐渐显出
the tow on the cars started to show
直到哈蒙德的车终于无法承受了
untill eventually Hammond’s Testarossa could take the punishment no longer
我看到蒸汽了
I see steam
听起来都不对啊
none of these is good sounds
我想哈蒙德的车跪了 我希望如此
I think Hammond’s car is wounded I’m hoping it is
哦 加把劲啊
Oh come on
胜利属于我 甜蜜蜜啊
victory is mine and it tastes sweet
但是哈蒙德和我想法迥异
but Hammond thought differently
-这还没完 -我了个去
it’s not over yet — oh for crying out loud
这台机器是一台非常简单的4缸机
the heart of this machine that’s a simple 4 cylinder engine
一瞬间所有金属会受热膨胀然后卡住
it has the moment he seized all the metal expanded and stuck
就像你这个岁数的人的后背
it’s like you had a bad back at your age
所以让他休息一下降降温
let it get on easy give him a rest
有些部件就会松开 就能打着了
the parts will contract it’ll fire up it will do just that
不过不是现在
not not now
那是什么时候
when is it going to do that
我会算出来的
I’ll pick the moment
我擅长这个 会知道什么时候能打着
yeah I’m good at this I’m good at knowing when it’ll start
能发动
it’s gonna start
要是能发动 我就抹脖子
if that starts i’m gonna kill myself
吼吼吼 快上车 快 咱继续
oh hohoho get in get in come on
哈哈 太好了 我和发动机心有灵犀啊
oh yes that is mechanical sympathy I’m the one with the machine
因为这匹跃马的呼吸又正常了
because the prancing horse whisperer was right
比赛继续
the race was back on
我还坐在这里 还在刷圈
I’m still in this I’m still wrecking those laps
求跪啊 求跪
please break now please break
在很多圈之后 幸运之神终于向我微笑了
after many more laps the gods of good fortune finally decided to smile on me
发生了一场惨烈的事故
there has been an extraodinary accident
引擎被卡在全油门状态
the engine is jammed on full rev
卡在一档
it’s in first gear
离合器被一个
and the clutch pedal is been held down
不知道哪来的扫帚卡住
by a broom I have no idea where that came from
幸运的是车被绳子拴在两个重物上固定了
luckily though,it is held in place by two ropes which attached two heavy objects
一边是装着水泥块的手推车 另一边是这栋楼
one is a wheel barrow with a concrete block in it the other is this building
让我担心的是绳子底下突然起火了
what worries me though is this small fire has broken out underneath this rope
如果绳子烧断 啪的一声 扫帚就会被手推车拽飞
now if it would snap the broom will be drag down by the wheel barrow
就会挂上档 车会冲向那座房♥子
the clutch will pin off and the car will roar off into that building
我不知道怎么阻止这一切
I’ve no idea how to stop this from happening
在这场事故中我只是乘客
I’m just a passenger in this accident
好好想啊 杰里米 你必须要做点什么
think Jeremy there must be something you can do
哦 不
oh no
亲 祝贺你赢了
well mate congratulations you win
发生什么了
what happened
不可思议的碰撞
extraordinary crash
都插到墙里去了
really hard into the wall
但是你没受伤啊
but you’re not hurt
我被扔出来了
I’m thrown clear
很神奇 不知道怎么我就被扔出来 然后车撞墙了
amazing,I don’t know how that happened I was thrown out and it’s gone into the wall
你丫是故意的
you did this on purpose
才没有
I didn’t
你故意放弃比赛 我赢得毫无意义
you deliberately thrown the race this is a hollow victory
那天在旅店里 出现了一条对哈蒙德极好的消息
that night at the hotel there was good news for Hammond
我希望他会重获笑容
that I hope might put a smile back on his face
你们做肉酱意面么
do you do spaghetti bolognaise
做 -你确定
yes — you do.yes
好 那我来一份
well I’ll have one please
我也来一份 要传统版的
I’ll have a spaghetti bolognaise traditional spaghetti bolognaise
太棒了
perfect
终于
at last
完美
excellent
纳尼 这是神马
um what’s this
肉酱意面啊
spaghetti bolognaise
才不是
it’s not
肯定是
it is
不不不是
no it isn’t
这是肉酱意面加香肠
it is spaghetti with sausage
在意大利语里 肉酱意面就是意面加香肠
in Italy, spaghetti bolognaise is spaghetti with sausage
看 真正的香肠哦
look actual sausage
为啥不叫意面配香肠呢 这才不是肉酱意面
why don’t they call it spaghetti with… it’s not spaghetti bolognaise
这就是肉酱意面
it’s spaghetti bolognaise!
如果意大利人到英国要一份热食早餐
if Italian come to Britain ask for a cooked breakfast
你肯定不会给他一份煮天鹅吧
you don’t give him cooked swan do you
你会给他一份培根煎蛋
you give him bacon and eggs it’s not right
-吃了它 -不
-eat it -no
-这不对 -就是它
It`s not right.It is.
第二天一早 我们在美丽的锡耶纳城不远处醒来
the next morning we woke near the beautiful town of Siena
酒店外 制片人给我们带来了两台车
and outside our hotel the producers has provided two cars
穿梭于崎岖古老的街道中
that will take us in and around its narrow and medieval streets
这是新款迷你库珀S
there was the new Mini Cooper S
被哈蒙德抢了
which was shotgunned by Hammond
所以我只能开奥迪S1
and an Audi S1 which as a result, would be driven by me
我还以为是嘉年华ST和高尔夫GTI呢
I was expecting a Fiesta ST and a Golf GTI
担我们去年开过了
yeah，we drove those last year
所以这是替代品
so this is their replacement
好吧 挺有意思 我之前还从没开过S1
well it’s quite interesting cos I’ve never driven a S1 before
我也没开过库珀S
and I’ve never driven a Cooper S so
所以这就是一趟探索之旅
so it will be a voyage into the unknown
是的
yes it will
走起
that’s what it will be
我们都知道锡耶纳是一个兔子洞
all we did know is that Siena is a rabbit warren
里面有着无数条幽深的小巷
made up with 6.7 million narrow streets
城里面小车为王 而且越小越好
in a town like this size matters and the smaller the better
小的总是最好的
small is always best
这就是新款迷你让我纠结的地方
that’s what troubles me about this new Mini
比老款长了10厘米 比奥斯丁原版长了65厘米
it’s 10cm longer with the last model which is 65cm longer than the original Mini
所以说 这不是真正迷你
so it isn’t really Mini
我不想在这里说教
I don’t wanna sound like somebody’s dad here
但什么时候他们才不用”迷你”这名字了?
but when are they going to stop calling it the Mini
就像年轻时叫你”小子”
so as a bloke you are called young man
叫了很多年 但总有一天没人会那么叫你