隐于书后（2016）

But we should see him for what he is.
而不是期待他没有的 这对他来说不公平
Not what he isn’t. It’s not fair on him.
我有时候觉得夏洛蒂看不起他
I sometimes think Charlotte despises him.
夏洛蒂有她自己的心魔
Charlotte has her own demons.
什么心魔
What demons?
你知道几个月以来她有多沮丧吗
Look, you know how low she’s been? For months.
沮丧到把她自己弄病了
To the point of making herself ill,
她还相信自己要瞎了
and convincing herself she’s going blind.
-是的 -你还记得我们在布鲁塞尔的时候吗
– Yes? – Well, you know when we were in Brussels?
-黑格尔先生 -对
– Monsieur Heger? – Yes.
她非常
Well…she was very…
非常喜欢他
taken…with him.
不是我在那儿的时候
Not when I was there.
是勃兰威尔姑妈去世之后
This was after Aunt Branwell died,
我在家的时候
when I stayed at home.
她变得
She became…
痴迷于他
obsessed with him.
他已经结婚了
He was married.
这就是为什么最终她离开了
That’s why she left. At finish.
“我亲爱的利兰
“My dear Leyland,
我昨天回去了
I returned yesterday
结束了我去利物浦和北威尔士为期一周的旅行
from a week’s journey to Liverpool and North Wales,
但我发现 我不在时
but I found, during my absence,
无论我去哪儿 一个身裹全黑
that wherever I went, a certain woman, robed in black
名为痛苦的女人 一直伴随着我
and calling herself Misery, walked by my side,
她亲切地靠在我手臂上
and leant on my arm as affectionately
好像她是我合法的妻子一样
as if she were my legal wife.
就像有些丈夫一样 我本可以无视她的存在”
Like some other husbands, I could have spared her presence.”
对于我们即将享用的食物
For the food we are about to receive,
愿上帝能让我们对此由衷感激 阿门
may the Lord make us truly thankful. Amen.
-她是不是又在喂那些狗了 -没有
– Is she feeding those dogs again? – No.
请给我些鸡肉
Chicken, please.
再倒点茶
More tea.
勃兰威尔
Branwell…
-怎么了 -和我们讲讲利物浦
– Yeah? – Tell us something about… Liverpool.
码头很特别
Well, the docks were extraordinary.
我们看到一个黑人 一个克利奥尔人
We saw a black man. A blackamoor, a Creole.
他真的是黑的 特别黑 爸爸
He really was black. So dark, Papa.
然后我和他说话了
And I spoke to him.
我没怎么听懂他到底在说什么
Didn’t really understand what he was saying
我觉得我说的他也一句都没听懂
and I don’t think he understood a word I was saying either
但就是很有趣
but it was just…fascinating.
我觉得他应该是某艘船上的货物
I think he was something on one of the ships.
有什么事吗
Yes?
如果你…
If you…
如果你不能
If you don’t…
改掉
get on top of…
这个习惯
of this habit…
当世事不如你意的时候
when things don’t go right for you,
如果你没有节制
if you can’t exercise some restraint,
那它就会夺走你的人生 勃兰威尔
then it’ll take over your life, Branwell.
别胡说八道了
Don’t be ridiculous.
我没有胡说八道
I’m not being ridiculous.
这会毁了你的
It’ll destroy you.
你现在潜力还很大 勃兰威尔
Potentially, you still have so much to offer, Branwell.
-你得有个计划 -我有计划
– You need a plan. – I’ve got plans.
是吗
Have you?
那你能说说这个计划吗 跟谁说都行
And can you share them? With anyone?
-你知道我发现了什么吗 -什么
– D’you know what I’ve realised? – What?
写诗赚不了钱
There’s no money in poetry.
小说 写小说才赚钱
Novels. That’s where the money is.
而创作诗歌♥
Whilst the composition of a poem
需要最大程度地发掘一个人的才智
demands the utmost stretch of a man’s intellect…
图个什么 最多能赚十镑
And for what? £10 at best.
我可以哼着小曲吸着雪茄
I could hum a tune and smoke a cigar
就能写完一篇小说
and I’d have a novel written.
没人会出版一个无名作家的小说
No-one will publish a novel by an unknown author.
我在《哈利法克斯卫报》上已经发表了九首诗
I’ve had nine poems published in the Halifax Guardian.
只有哈利法克斯 但是读者很多
It’s only Halifax, I know, but it is widely enough read.
写小说需要有一个好故事
You’d need a good story for a novel.
我什么时候缺过故事
Oh, when was I ever short of a story?
你还想着去巴黎吗
Are you still thinking about going to Paris?
我觉得应该不去了
I don’t think it’s likely.
-目前是这样 -为什么 去了对你有好处呢
– At the moment. – Why? It might do you good.
你还是固执地让自己不如意吗
Are you still hell-bent on making yourself poorly?
没有不如意
I’m not…poorly.
我只是在奋斗着…
I’m just struggling to…
为什么女人就和男人那么不一样呢
Why is it that a woman’s lot is so very different to a man’s?
我从没觉得自己不如男人聪明 你呢
I’ve never felt inferior. Have you? Intellectually?
为什么我们的机会就那么少呢
Why is it that we have so very few opportunities?
我们下定决心的事一定能做到 可就是没机会
You or I could do almost anything we set our minds to. But no.
我们最现实的计划就是去学校
All we can realistically plan is a school,
一个小到没人愿意去的学校
a modest enough school, that no-one wants to come to.
为什么我们女人总是被当做小孩子一样
Why is it that the woman’s lot is to be perpetually infantilised…
要么就是当透明人 而且我们对此无能为力
or else invisible and powerless to do anything about it?
他从没给你回过信吗
Did he never write back to you, then?
黑格尔
Heger?
没有
No.
安妮说你写了几首诗
Anne says you’ve written some poems.
-你想过发表这些诗吗 -没有
– Have you ever thought about publishing them? – No.
只是
It’s just the…
是这样… 我也写了点诗
The thing is, you see… I’ve written some verses too…
如果我们能攒够足够多的诗作
and if between us we could accumulate enough material
能出版成薄薄一册
to think about publishing a small volume…
然后找个想浪费钱买♥♥它的人
And have it pored over and rubbished and ridiculed
让他读了之后瞧不起我们嘲笑我们吗
by anyone who might choose to waste their money on it?
别想
Not likely.
他来了 伴着西风 伴着傍晚的流风
He comes with Western winds, with evening’s wandering airs,
伴着带来繁星的清朗暮色
With that clear dusk of heaven that brings the thickest stars.
晚风忧戚 星如萤火
Winds take a pensive tone, and stars a tender fire,
幽思遐想 欲望折磨着我
And visions rise, and change, that kill me with desire.
石楠花海在它的吹拂下似波涛翻涌
High waving heather ‘neath stormy blasts bending,
子夜 月光 伴着闪闪繁星
Midnight and moonlight and bright shining stars;
黑暗与荣耀欣然相汇
Darkness and glory rejoicingly blending,
大地升空 天庭陨落
Earth rising to heaven and heaven descending,
将人的灵性从阴郁的地牢解放
Man’s spirit away from its drear dungeon sending,
冲破枷锁 逃出桎梏
Bursting the fetters and breaking the bars.
隐形的开始显现 隐匿的真♥相♥被揭露
Then dawns the Invisible; the Unseen its truth reveals;
我的感官尽失 唯靠内心感受
My outward sense is gone, my inward essence feels;
快要挣脱束缚的双翼 寻到家园港湾
Its wings are almost free – its home, its harbour found,
丈量海湾 俯身最后一搏
Measuring the gulf, it stoops and dares the final bound.
多么可怕的枷锁 多么剧烈的痛苦
O dreadful is the check – intense the agony –
当耳朵开始倾听 眼睛开始探寻
When the ear begins to hear, and the eye begins to see;
当脉搏开始跳动 大脑再次运转
When the pulse begins to throb – the brain to think again –
灵魂触到血肉 血肉触到镣铐
The soul to feel the flesh, and the flesh to feel the chain.
但我将再无痛楚 无惧任何折磨
Yet I would lose no sting, would wish no torture less;
这苦痛越是折磨 我就越早拥抱福泽
The more that anguish racks the earlier it will bless;
即使地狱炼火为袍 亦闪烁着天国光辉
And robed in fires of hell, or bright with heavenly shine,
如果必须迎接死亡 那未来亦是神圣
If it but herald Death, the vision is divine.
怎么了 怎么了
What’s the matter? What’s the matter?
有人进了我的房♥间
Somebody has been in my room!
-有人 -有人乱翻我的东西
– Somebody? – Somebody has been through my things.
但放回去的时候却不够聪明
And not had the wit, when they put them back,
不知道我放东西是有顺序的
to realise that everything was in a certain order…
谁啊 我们没有 我没有
Well, who? We haven’t, I haven’t.
你没有 你也不会 我知道
You haven’t. You wouldn’t. I know that.
勃兰威尔在哈利法克斯
Branwell’s in Halifax.
爸爸也可以排除 他根本看不见
It’s safe to assume Papa couldn’t see to do it,
而且他也没理由这么做
and anyway why would he bother?
塔比有别的事要做 玛莎不识几个字
Tabby’s got better things to do and Martha can’t read that well.
而且她也知道自尊自爱