致所有我曾爱过的男孩

好吧 比如呢
Okay, like what?
比如我不想再让你亲我了
For example, I don’t want you to kiss me anymore.
你疯了吗 如果我都不能亲你
Are you crazy? Who’s gonna believe we’re in a relationship
那谁会信我们在谈恋爱
if I’m not allowed to kiss you?
虽然你对这种事很在行
You may be the James Dean of this kind of stuff
但我从没交过男朋友
but I’ve never had a boyfriend.
你怎么跟八十岁老奶奶一样
You have the references of an 80-year-old woman.
有什么关系
What does that matter?
因为我不想让我的第一次都是假的
It matters because I don’t want all my firsts to be fake.
如果我要跟谁交往 我要来真的
If I’m making out with someone, I’m gonna do it for real.
但是你先亲了我
OK. But you kissed me first.
这个没得商量
This is non-negotiable.
好吧
Fine.
我们得想想说辞
We need to figure something out
如果我不能碰你
because people are gonna get very suspicious
大家会起疑的
if I’m not allowed to touch you.
你说得对 这样如何
Okay, you have a point. How about this?
你可以把手放进我的后口袋
You can put your hand in my back pocket.
手放进后口袋 那是什么鬼
Hand in your back pocket? What the hell is that?
《十六支蜡烛》
Sixteen Candles?
那是开场画面
It’s the opening image.
是情侣间的动作
It’s a couples thing.
可能是70年代的吧
Yeah, maybe in the ’70s.
《十六支蜡烛》是80年代的片子 约翰·休斯
Sixteen Candle s was the ’80s. John Hughes?
-不知道吗 -不知道
– Nothing? – Mm.
好吧
Okay…
再加两条规则
Two more rules.
你得跟我一起看《十六支蜡烛》 因为那是经典
You have to watch Sixteen Candles with me because it’s a classic,
还有我们不能告诉任何人我们假谈恋爱
and we can never tell anyone that this relationship is fake,
否则我们两个人就太丢脸了
because it would be too humiliating for both of us.
废话 《搏击俱乐部》第一条规矩
Duh, first rule of Fight Club.
什么
What?
不是吧 你没看过《搏击俱乐部》吗
Are you serious? You’ve never seen Fight Club?
天啊 好吧 写下来 一起看
Oh, my God! Okay, write it down. Double feature.
一起看完蜡烛电影后 再看《搏击俱乐部》
After we watch the Candles movie, we are watching Fight Club.
《搏击俱乐部》
Fight Club…
《十六支蜡烛》
Sixteen Candles…
不许说出去
No snitching.
还有别的吗
Anything else?
我可以…
I could…
我可以给你写便条
I could write you notes,
每天都写
every day.
-可以吗 -当然
– You’d do that? – Sure.
詹一直让我给她写 我从没写过
Gen was always on me to write her them. I never did,
所以如果我开始给你写
so if I start sending them to you,
那她肯定气死了 那会有效
she’ll be pissed, it’ll be good.
真是浪漫啊
How romantic.
还有 你得跟我一起参加我的长曲棍球比赛和派对
Also, you have to come with me to my lacrosse games and parties.
那你得每天送我和我妹妹上学
Then you have to pick up my sister and I and drive us to school every single day.
好
Okay.
但你要跟我一起去滑雪旅行
But you’re coming with me on the ski trip.
艾德勒高中滑雪旅行可是臭名昭著
Whoa… The Adler High ski trip was infamous
因为那场旅行中失去贞操的学生
for being the location where more students lost their virginity
比高中旅行和舞会上加起来还多
than Senior Week and Prom combined.
我从没去过
I have never been.
很显然
Obviously.
那个…
Um…
那都是三个月后的事了
That’s three months away from now.
你觉得到时候我们还在假恋爱吗
Do you reaaly think we’re still gonna be doing this by then?
还是有可能的
Let’s call it a contingency.
正常人都不会
Look. No one in their right mind
让自己的男朋友一个人去
is gonna let their boyfriend go on that trip without them,
所以如果到时候我们还在假恋爱
so if we are still doing this by the time it comes around,
那你就得跟我一起去
you have to go with me.
我很确定等滑雪旅行的时候
I’m certain that by the time the ski trip comes around,
我和皮特的事早就是历史了
Peter and I will be ancient history,
正因此 我才说…
and that is the only reason I say…
好 没问题
Okay. Deal.
十月
快点 凯蒂 我们要迟到了
Come on, Kitty. We’re gonna be late for school.
我讨厌公交车 你能勇敢起来开车吗
I hate taking the bus. Can you please just man up and start driving?
其实…
Actually…
准备好了吗
Y’all ready?
那是当然
Oh, hell, yes!
小LJ 那是什么
Hey, little LJ, what is that?
韩式酸奶奶昔
A Korean yogurt smoothie.
还有 谢谢你问 我叫凯瑟琳·宋·科维
And my name, thanks for asking, is Katherine Song Covey.
朋友都叫我凯蒂 你可以叫我凯瑟琳
Kitty to my friends. You can call me Katherine.
遵命 她真牙尖嘴利
Yes, ma’am. She’s feisty!
凯蒂 系好安全带
Kitty, put on your seat belt.
话说你跟我姐姐是什么关系来着
So how exactly do you know my sister again?
我是她男朋友
I guess I’m her boyfriend.
能给我尝尝吗
Can I have some of that?
当然
Sure.
好喝
That is really good.
我要怎么做
Hey, what do I have to do
才能让你明天给我带一瓶
to get you to bring me one of these tomorrow?
你明天还来接我们吗
You’re driving us again?
当然了
Yeah, of course.
好 你可以叫我凯蒂
Okay, you can call me Kitty!
进步
Progress!
我以前都是小透明
I was used to being invisible,
但现在大家都在看我
but now, people were looking at me,
谈论我
talking about me.
你干什么
What are you doing?
这个给你
This is for you.
干得漂亮
Good job.
一会儿见
I’ll see you in a bit, okay?
除了收到一张便条
It’s weird and somewhat off-putting
让别人把手放到自己的后口袋里之外什么都没做
to be congratulated on doing nothing more than accepting a note
却被围观了 这感觉奇怪又有点恼人
and having an ass pocket for someone to stick their hand into,
但我猜我的生活就是如此了
but I guess that’s where my life has taken me.
凯文斯基的事太疯狂了
The Kavinsky thing is insane!
谁知道你竟然
Who knew you had a secret boner
秘密和我们学校的人气王有一腿
for the king of the cafeteria crowd?
谁说不是 我跟你一样惊讶
I know, I’m just as shocked as you are.
玛格特是不是震惊了
Did Margot freak?
其实我一直在拒接她的电♥话♥
Actually, you know, I’ve been avoiding her calls
所以她还不知道
so she doesn’t know yet.
玛格特 大学如何
Hi, Margot. How’s college?
我说过我有个假男朋友了吗
So listen, did I mention I have a fake boyfriend?
没有吗 是皮特·凯文斯基
No? Yeah, it’s Peter Kavinsky.
怎么回事
How did it start?
这说来就有意思了 不过绝对不是因为
It is…See, that…that’s a funny story, because it definitely was not because
我想说服你前男友
I was trying to convince your
我没有爱上他
ex-boyfriend that I wasn’t in love with him,
这点是确定的
that’s for sure.
该死
Oh, shit…
你好
Hi!
你好 终于看到你了
Hi, finally. I feel like we
感觉我们好久没聊天了 快跟我聊聊
haven’t talked in forever, so tell me everything.
好啊
Well…
我今晚要为凯蒂的烘焙义卖♥♥做纸杯蛋糕
You know, I’m just making cupcakes tonight for Kitty’s bake sale.
纸杯蛋糕 不 做布朗尼要简单多了
Cupcakes? No. It’s so much easier to do brownies.
我已经把做纸杯蛋糕用的材料都买♥♥好了
Well, I bought all the ingredients for cupcakes,
而且你又不在 所以…
and you’re not really here, so…
好吧 那就做纸杯蛋糕吧 肯定会很棒
Okay, fine, do cupcakes. I’m sure they’ll be great.
话说你最近见到乔什了吗
So have you seen Josh at all lately?
什么 没有 我为什么会见到乔什
What? No. Why would I be seeing Josh?
因为他是我们的邻居
I don’t know, ’cause he’s our neighbor?
你那边一切都还好吗