泰格 Tig

那时我在拍电影《在世间》
I was filming the movie In
那时候我就有种“我身体不太舒服”的感觉
A World and I was like, “I don’t feel well.”
打板
A only mark.
我那个时候知道她病了 但是她看上去总是那么充满活力
I was aware that she was sick, but she seemed great and fine,
演员 电影《在世间》
而且还老讲笑话 依然是特别风趣
and was making jokes and really funny.
“什么?”
“What?”
看上去还没有那么严重
It didn’t seem that serious.
再跟我多说一点
Uh, tell me more here.
打板
Mark.
最后的时候 电影的每组拍摄之间我都会躺着
At the end, I was lying down in-between shots
尝试着去休息
just trying to rest.
然后我就晕过去了
And then I collapsed.
老天爷啊 我简直不能相信你进了医院
Oh, my God. I cannot believe you’re in the hospital.
Tig 天哪 发生什么了
Tig? Oh, my God, what happened?
Tig 我是妈妈
Hi, Tig. It’s your mommy.
希望你身体好点了 给我回个电♥话♥吧 这样我就能开心点了
I hope you’re feeling better. Give me a call, and I’ll be happy.
那时我特别痛苦
I was in so much pain.
医生说我的内组织已经发炎得辨认不出
The doctor said my insides were inflamed beyond recognition.
而且他还不知道是哪里出了问题
And he didn’t know what was wrong.
她身体特别虚弱
She just was so sick.
有些人嘴上不说
You know, when someone doesn’t
喜剧演员/朋友
可是疼痛都写在脸上
complain and you really see pain on their face,
这种时候要更加使人恐惧
it’s a lot scarier.
大概一周之后 炎症没有消除
After, like, a week, it wasn’t going away.
那个时候 我觉得她可能会挺不过去
And I thought, like, she might not make it.
检查日期
腹部疼痛
医生说
The doctor said,
我们现在要给你做一个艰难梭菌的化验
“We’re gonna test you for this thing called C. Diff,
需要额外的影像学评估
C Diff: 艰难梭菌的英文缩写。该病菌侵袭人体结肠部位, 使被感染者出现严重腹泻和发烧症状, 甚至死亡。
我们希望你没有被它感染
and we hope it’s not that.”
艰难梭菌
常常被缩写成C Diff。通过制♥造♥能够损害结肠衬的毒素来感染肠道。
感染C Diff后严重的并发症包括脱水,结肠破裂和感染向腹腔以及
身体其他部分的扩散。严重的感染会危及生命。
C Diff型结肠发炎的最常见起因是抗生素治疗。抗生素被认为可抑制
结肠正常菌落, 导致其无法抑制C Diff繁殖, 从而引起结肠炎症。
但现实是我确实被感染了
But it was.
艰难梭菌是一种
C. Diff is a bacteria that
能破坏人体整个消化道功能
will just take over your entire digestive tract
并以消化道为食的超级细菌
and eat it alive.
我不能吃东西 因此我瘦了20磅(约合9千克)
I couldn’t eat food. I lost over 20 pounds.
我瘦成了皮包骨
I had become a skeleton.
她靠自己坐上了椅子的那天 意义重大
The day she got into a chair, that was a big moment.
亲爱的 谁刚刚完全靠自己地坐上了椅子?
Sweetie, who got themselves into a chair all by themselves?
– 我啊 – 没错 就是你
– I did. – That’s right, you did.
看到她能自己站起来坐上椅子
It was us being, like, excited
真的很激动人心
that she was able to get up and sit in a chair.
在41岁生日前我出了院
I got out of the hospital a week before my 41st birthday.
出院的时候我特别兴奋
I was thrilled to be out of the hospital.
但是那个时候我的身体还是很疼 而且十分虚弱
But I was still in a lot of pain. I was very weak.
当我被诊断感染上艰难梭菌的时候 我以为那是…
When I was diagnosed with C. Diff, I thought it was…
那的确是当时最坏的事 直到那个瞬间 我才知道那还不是最坏的
It was the worst possible news… up until that point.
我完全不知道会发生什么事
I had no idea what was to come.
2012年3月24日
一周之后
祝你生日快乐
Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐
Happy birthday to you
祝你生日快乐 亲爱的宝贝 祝你生日快乐!
Happy birthday, dear Fluff Happy birthday to you
Ric和我想去趟加州
Ric and I wanna come out to California.
生日快乐啊
Happy birthday.
我们想去看看你
We wanna come out and visit.
我爱你
I love you.
生日过了几天后
A couple days after my birthday,
我的手♥机♥突然响了 来电显示是”父母”
my phone rang and it said, “Parents.”
我又没接着那通电♥话♥ 它转到了语♥音♥信箱
I missed the call again, and it went to voicemail,
我以为 那可能又是
and I thought, “That’s probably
一通妈妈祝我生日快乐的电♥话♥
my mother calling to wish me happy birthday again.”
嗨 Tig 我很抱歉 我可能有个不大好的消息要告诉你
Hi, Tig. I’m afraid I have some terrible news.
你妈妈昨晚摔倒了 然后…嗯…
Your mother fell last night and, uh…
她好像快不行了
it looks like she’s not gonna make it.
给我回个电♥话♥吧
Please give me a call.
我妈妈和我的继父当时在看Jimmy Kimmel秀
My mother and my stepfather were watching Jimmy Kimmel,
结果她站起来 不小心摔倒了 磕到了头
and she got up and fell. Hit her head.
我继父检查了她的头 没发现什么异样
My stepfather checked her head,
而且她还能说话 看起来也没什么事
and she was talking and seemingly okay.
他就决定上♥床♥睡觉了 但妈妈没去
He decided to go to bed, and she stayed up.
天亮之后
In the morning,
Ric看到她的鼻子和嘴角在淌血
Ric saw that she had blood coming from her nose and mouth.
她再也…再也…没有清醒过来
She was never… never conscious again.
我哥哥 Ric和我去医院跟妈妈告别
My brother, Ric and I went to the hospital to say our goodbyes.
离开生命维持系统她又活了12小时
She lived 12 hours off of life support,
那个过程实在…太痛苦了
and it was really horrendous.
我哥和我的继父最后回了家
My brother and stepfather ended up going home,
留下我一个人在那里
and I was just there by myself.
医生们说妈妈已经没有任何脑活动了 而且我也相信
They said there was zero brain activity, and I believed that,
但是我在脑海里想象
but I made up in my mind
想象着她知道我在她身边
that she knew I was there.
我只是…特别…特别想让她知道我就在她身边
I just… really… wanted her to know that I was there.
说什么我当时都不可能离开她
And that there was no way I was gonna leave.
休斯顿 德克萨斯州
葬礼过后 我身体太差了 没法回洛杉矶
After the funeral, I was too sick to go back to Los Angeles,
所以我就继续待在德克萨斯
and so I just stayed in Texas.
妈妈就是在这栋房♥子里摔倒的
This is the house where she fell.
嗯… 我有过一些心痛 也有过一些醒悟
You know, there’s moments of sadness and realization.
妈妈现在不在这栋房♥子里
You know, my mother’s not in the house and, um…
她现在不在人世了
My mother’s dead.
Ric?
Ric?
我在里面呢 Tig
嗨
Hi.
我和妈妈的关系有着许多起起落落
My mother and I had very up and down times in our relationship,
但我们彼此一直都深爱着对方
but we loved each other so tremendously.
我妈妈是个特别有趣的人
My mother was hilarious,
她傻傻的 很搞笑 狂野又疯狂
very silly and ridiculous, and wild and crazy.
对别人对她的看法一概不在意
Not concerned at all about what anybody thought about her.
当世事艰难的时候 妈妈总是保持一颗轻松的心
My mother was very comfortable when things were uncomfortable.
我的幽默直接遗传于她的感性
And my humor is directly tied to her sensibility.
她特别喜欢恶作剧
She was very into pranks.
朋友们来我家吃饭 她就跟我说
Friends would come over to eat, and she’d be like, “Tig,
“Tig 我把每个人的土豆泥都染成蓝色了 别跟你朋友们说哦”
I’m dying everyone’s potatoes blue. Don’t tell your friends.”
然后我说 “好吧”
And I’d be like, “Okay.” You know.
然后我们就都假装那次的土豆泥是蓝色的
And so we would all pretend like mashed potatoes are blue.
她有着那种强大的内在力量
She had this fierce inner strength.
当我儿时遇到麻烦时 我就跟她说 又发生什么什么事了
When I had issues as a kid, like, “Oh, this is happening,”
她总是会说 “让他们去死吧
she would always be like, you know, “Tell ’em to go to hell.
他们要是再找你麻烦 你就告诉他们 ‘去死吧’ ”
If they have a problem, tell ’em to go to hell.”
真的 这种话给了我
And it just… It gave me this
一种不去质疑自己或者怀疑自己的自信
confidence to not question myself or doubt myself.
家长理应去理解孩子
A parent is supposed to understand a child,
但是我一直都没有真正理解过Tig
and I’d never really understood Tig.
Tig的继父
我心中的模范形象应做的事
I had a model of what a person should do,
Tig一件都没做到
and Tig was having nothing of that.
我妈妈能用一种
My mother understood me in
不同于其他人的方式理解我
a way that was different from other people.
当妈妈离我而去的时候
When I lost my mother,
我同时也失去了那个最理解我的人
I truly lost the person that understood me the most.
妈妈离世后 我待在她的房♥子里
When I was at my mother’s
我被悲痛席卷 吞没
house after she died, I was really devastated.
我的身体仍旧十分虚弱
And I was still so ill.
就好像
So it just seemed to be this
我就快看到这条隧♥道♥尽头的光明了
tunnel that I would see the light at the end,
但又有人加了条新的隧♥道♥给我
but then it was like somebody put another tunnel on it.
– 保重 我爱你 – 好的 我也爱你
– Take care. I love you. – All right. I love you, too.
我当时迫切地需要一件正能量的事发生
I needed something positive to happen.
我们当时被《老美生活记事》邀请