泰格 Tig

The results came back as less than two for pregnancy test
这意味着结果是阴性的
and that means it’s negative.
所以 我很抱歉 Tig 这次没成功
So, I’m sorry, Tig. It didn’t work this time.
没事
It’s okay.
这就是消息
Well, there’s the news.
所以…
So…
感觉我已经做了所有我能做的
I feel like I did all I could.
2013年8月3日
Largo剧院周年秀
Largo破例允许在秀场拍摄
我必须得…
Oh, I have to…
天哪 我没法集中精力
God, I can’t focus.
你想让我表演多长时间
How much time do you want me to do?
你想表演多久
What would you like to do?
– 一分钟都不表演 – 好吧 完美
– Zero. – Okay. Perfect.
– 你要表演多长时间 Tig – 很可能45分钟吧
– How much are you gonna do, Tig? – Probably 45.
– 真的吗 – 是的
– Oh, you are? – Yeah.
什么? 多长时间?
Uh, what?
– 是的 你没听错 – 等会儿你主持吗
– I know. – You’re gonna host?
我哥哥送来的花
Flowers from my brother.
上面写着 “致我美丽超凡的妹妹
It says, “To my beautiful and amazing sister,
我爱你并且为你而自豪
I love you and am so proud of you.
唯一更令我自豪的是我们的妈妈
The only person that would be more proud would be our mother.
祝你今晚演出成功 爱你的哥哥 Renaud”
Good luck tonight. Love, your brother, Renaud.”
这就是我今晚表演要说的话
Well, this is what I’ll be saying tonight.
万一表演很烂怎么办
What if this show is a bomb?
哦天哪 不会的 肯定没事的
Oh, my God, it’s not gonna happen.
今晚是我见过她最紧张的一晚
Tonight’s the most nervous I’ve seen her,
在这场秀之前
you know, before this show.
因为这是回归秀
Because this is the show back.
我在格鲁夫的街道长大
I grew up in the streets of the Grove and…
Tig通常是一位非常酷的客户
Tig is usually a very cool customer.
你不会见到她疲惫不堪的一面
You never really see her frazzled.
但是今晚 她非常紧张
But that night, she may have been nervous.
比如说… “在我眼皮子底下不会发生”
…say things like, “Not on my watch” And stuff.
好了
All right.
让我们直奔主题
Let’s get to the reason why we’re all here.
天啊
Oh, boy.
我记得她出生的那天
God, I remember the day she was born. The, um…
医生把她放在我的
The doctor put her on my
肚子上 当时她身上都是黏糊糊的羊水
belly and she was covered in all this goop,
然后我就说
and I just said,
“Tig
“Tig.
我叫她Tig”
I’ll call her Tig.”
欢迎我的朋友 Tig Notaro
Please welcome my friend, Tig Notaro.
大家最近咋样啊
How’s it going?
谢谢你们
Thank you.
我的癌症痊愈了 你们好吗
I don’t have cancer. Hello, how are you?
非常感谢你们 你们真的太好了
Thank you so much. You guys have been so, so great.
我的天啊
Oh, my gosh.
我被诊断为双侧乳腺癌
I was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer.
消息还没传出来 所以…
Word has not gotten out, so…
在诊断和手术之前
And before my diagnosis and the surgery,
我的胸部是飞机场
I was pretty… just relatively flat- chested.
这么多年我拿我的平胸
And I’ve made so many jokes over the years
开了很多玩笑
about how flat- chested I was.
我开始想或许…我的胸偷听我说话…
I started to think that maybe… my boobs overheard me…
然后说 “你知道吗”
and were just, like, “You know what?
我们忍♥不了了
We are sick of this.
我们杀了她吧”
Let’s kill her.”
不敢相信我
I couldn’t believe that I
竟然回到舞台进行了一个小时的表演
was back onstage doing an hour of material.
就像在介绍Mary Tyler Moore(美国著名喜剧演员)
I felt like the intro to Mary Tyler Moore.
好像我把帽子抛在空中
I felt like I tossed my hat in the air,
然后我感觉我又回归了
and I just felt like I was back.
晚安
Good night.
准备好领养孩子了吗
Ready to adopt children?
等不及了
Can’t wait.
你不一定要这样
You don’t have to.
– 你好 – 你好
– Hi. – Hi.
独♥立♥收养中心
我们都决定了解一下领养的事
We’ve both, sort of, decided that we wanna look into adoption,
而且我对拥有一个我们自己的孩子还是很感兴趣
and I’m also interested in having kids of my own together.
所以我想
So I think we’re gonna end
我们最终会以不同的方式拥有很多孩子
up having a bunch of kids in different ways.
我们需要赶紧订阅《父母》这本杂♥志♥
We need to get a subscription to Parent magazine… immediately.
你好
Hello.
– 你好 – 你们好 我是Jennifer
– Hi. – How are you guys? I’m Jennifer.
– 我是Tig – 很高兴认识你
– Oh, I’m Tig. – Tig, nice to meet you.
– 你好 我是Stephanie – Stephanie 很高兴认识你
– Hi, Stephanie. – Stephanie, nice to meet you.
请到后面来
Come on back.
我们要把所有浴室的东西
Are we gonna put all our
都放在楼下的一个浴室里吗
bathroom stuff together in the one downstairs?
我不知道
I have no idea.
所有东西拆包将会是一个迷
It’ll all be a mystery that unfolds.
买♥♥这个房♥子真是喜忧参半
Buying this house has been bittersweet
因为它在最好的地界
because it’s the greatest place.
我希望我妈妈可以在这里
I wish my mother could be here
看着我和Stephanie一起建造我们的小家
to see what Stephanie and I are building together,
我希望可以…和我妈妈分享Stephanie
and I wish that I could… share Stephanie with my mother.
这里
In here.
这是将来宝宝住的地方
This is where children are gonna go.
我们会买♥♥两张单人床
We’re gonna have two single beds.
一个新生的小宝宝放在一张床上
We’ll put one little newborn infant on each bed
希望他们晚上都在这里
and just hope they stay there at night.
我们就告诉他们好好待着
We’ll just tell them to stay.
我们告诉他们待在床上
Oh, yeah, we’ll just tell them to stay in bed.
感觉完全像是
This definitely feels like…
– 一个家庭的开始 – 是啊
– the beginning of the family. – Yeah.
我经历的所有的事
Going through everything that I did,
改变了我作为一个人 一个表演者的生活
it has changed my life as a person, as a performer.
我强烈地意识到我非常
I just feel so much more keenly aware
幸福和感激我所拥有的一切
of how happy and thankful I am for what I have,
而且我…我感觉非常幸运
and I… I feel very lucky.
这就是活着的意义
This is what being alive is all about.
冒险然后看见回报
Just that idea of taking risks and seeing the payoff.
这确实是陈词滥调 但是你活着
You know, it’s so cliché, but it’s like you’re alive…
所以你也不妨试试
so you might as well take chances.
真令人兴奋
This is so exciting.
Tig继续拓展她的喜剧事业
2014年末 她在纽约表演时 褪去上衣展示了乳♥房♥♥切除手术的疤痕
那场秀立刻成为另一个标志性表演
2015年元旦 Tig和Stephanie订婚了
他们希望在新的一年里成为父母
谢谢来看演出
这是我有史以来得到最棒的回应
我猜上帝是对的
我可以摆平这一切