天堂门票（2022）

I wouldn’t count on it.
你们怎么采集海藻？
How do you farm the seaweed?
用网子
Oh! Uh, we use nets.
藻苗用单丝线绑住
Uh, seedlings are tied
to monofilament lines,
五周后就能采集
then five weeks later, we bring them in.
先急速冷冻再运送出去
A distributor flash freezes it
and ships it out.
运送到哪里？
Ships it to where?
以前主要是日本，现在是世界各地
It used to be mainly Japan.
Now, all over the world.
我们刚跟全食超♥市♥签约，你也买♥♥得到
We just signed a deal with Whole Foods.
So, we’re right on your street corner.
[chuckles] Mmm.
[people chattering]
[speaking Balinese]
他说你很漂亮
[in English]
He says you are very beautiful.
替我谢谢他
Oh. Well, um,
tell him I said thank you.
[speaking Balinese]
[speaking Balinese]
他说你让他想到一匹很漂亮的马
[in English] And now he is saying
you remind him of a very attractive horse.
Oh. Really?
真假？
一定搞错了
That can’t be right.
[speaking Balinese]
[speaking Balinese]
他真的是说马
-[in English] No, he– He did mean horse.
-Oh. [clears throat]
-[speaking Balinese]
-Mmm.
Oh…
卡顿先生？
-Mr. Cotton?
-Hmm?
我必须说我很爱你女儿
I must tell you,
I love your daughter very much.
我不怪你
I don’t blame you.
我知道这一切发生得很快
And I appreciate that
it’s happening really fast,
你和乔吉雅一定很担心
and you and Georgia
must be alarmed by that.
你们很般配，莉莉也很爱巴厘岛
Well, you two seem good together.
Lily loves Bali.
她在这里会暂时得到幸福
I can see her being happy here.
For a while.
暂时？
For a while?
没有什么是天长地久
Well, nothing lasts forever.
婚姻就是
Marriage is supposed to.
我也这么想，直到我坐在
That’s what I thought
till I was sitting across from Georgia
乔吉雅的律师对面分财产
with a bunch of lawyers,
dividing up our stuff.
好好享受吧
So, enjoy this.
直到莉莉跟你分手
Right up until the minute
that Lily ends it.
她一定会，因为她有野心和好奇心
Which she will because she’s ambitious,
and she is endlessly curious.
虽然这里很美，你人也很好
And as beautiful as this island is,
and as pleasant as you seem to be,
但她还是会不满足
ultimately,
it’s just not gonna be enough.
给个建议，别生小孩
A bit of advice. Don’t have kids.
小孩被她带回美国
Makes it much more complicated
when she takes them
你就麻烦大了
and she goes back to the States.
我饿了，你呢？
-I’m hungry. You hungry?
-[pats side]
去吃饭吧
Yeah, let’s get something to eat.
Let’s get some food.
[chattering]
[Gede’s father claps]
-[speaking Balinese]
-[chattering stops]
今天为了迎接贵客
[in English] Today, in honor of
our guests of distinction,
我会说英文
I speak to you English.
你吃掉一整只烤猪也不会成为大胃王
I’m pretty sure you don’t win anything
for finishing the whole pig.
保罗真幸运，成天都被你批评
Paul’s such a lucky guy.
All that judgment all to himself.
我和苏莉以爱与包容欢迎亲友来到我家
Suli and I welcome with love and peace,
all friends and family, into our home.
很快也会是吉德和莉莉的家
Soon also to be the home of Gede and Lily.
可能不会
-Or not.
-[Gede’s father] And how proud we are…
吉德开始犹豫了
Gede is having second thoughts.
你跟他说了什么？
I saw the two of you.
What happened?
第二阶段开始了
[David] I initiated phase two.
跳出木马，开始屠城
We get out of the Trojan horse.
We start killing people.
还没到那一步啦
We are nowhere near phase two.
你没搞清楚状况
Maybe you’re at a different party,
我们就快要有150个亲家
but from where I’m sitting,
we’re about to inherit 150 new in-laws.
你一向都这么自私
Oh, God. You only ever
see things your own way.
大家都是这样
Everybody only ever
sees anything their own way.
怪不得你抛弃我和莉莉
Explains why you walked out
on me and Lily.
我没抛弃莉莉
I didn’t walk out on Lily.
[speaking Balinese]
幸福的婚姻需要天时
[in English] For marriage,
it must to be the right place.
地利
It must to be the right time.
和人和
It must to be the right circumstance.
这三个我们当年一个都没有
I wish someone had explained that to us.
We were 0 for 3.
至少有一个
-1 for 3.
-Hmm?
至少有一个
1 for 3.
天时和地利都没有
Wrong circumstance,
wrong time.
有地利啊，湖畔那里
Right place. By the lake.
我在此宣布吉德和莉莉四天后成亲
So, I announce that Gede will marry Lily
in four days’ time,
那是师♥父♥挑的黄道吉日
as suggested by
Ida Anak Lingsir.
孩子的妈，你同意吗？
Mother of my children, do you agree?
[speaking Balinese]
她祝这对新人白头偕老
[in English] She gives her blessing.
For now and for always.
大卫？乔吉雅？你们呢？
And David? Georgia? Do you agree?
Um, yes,
we give our blessing.
我们也祝福他们
对，现在会啦
-Yep.
-Yes. For now–
-永远都会 -永远都会
-And always.
-很好 -是啊
-[Gede’s father] Great.
-Right.
太好了
That’s good.
[Lily sighs] That went great.
Just great.
真的很顺利，超棒的
是啊，真的超顺利的
[Gede] Absolutely it did.
Could not have gone any better.
你跟我爸在聊什么？
What were you and my dad
talking about by the beach?
海藻，他有很多问题
Seaweed, mostly.
He had a lot of questions.
他喜欢你
-He loves you.
-[chuckles]
他爱你，他们都很爱你
He loves you. They both do.
他们只有这一点有共识
Well, I’m the only thing
they can ever agree on. [chuckles]
真假？
Really?
那就好
Good to know.
欢迎光临瓦鲁纳大饭店
[hotel clerk] Welcome to the Hotel Waruna.
很荣幸能接待两位笑容满面的贵客
It is a very great pleasure
to see your smiling faces.
先生住221号♥房♥，真的很赞
You, sir, are in 221. Really good room.
我要离她越远越好
Make sure I’m a long way
from her.
你呢，夫人？
And you, madam?
越远越好
A very long way, please.
222号♥房♥，一样很赞
222. Almost just as really good.
你还会打呼吗？
Do you still snore?
有人老了会不打呼吗？
Do you know anybody that snores less
when they get older?
我非得听你打呼一整晚
If I’m gonna be listening
to you all night,
就要住更好的房♥间
I’m gonna do it from the better room.
你以前睡觉会打空手道
You know, you used to do sleep karate.
翻来翻去跟床打架
You’d fling yourself around the bed
like you were attacking it.