天堂门票（2022）

-你好贴心 -我知道
-[whispers] It’s so sweet.
-[whispers] I know.
超贴心的
-[Paul] Mmm.
-So sweet.
-[speaking French]
-[Georgia] Mmm.
嗯，我也是
-[Georgia] Ah, oui. Me too.
-[kissing]
[both grunting]
-[chuckles]
-[speaking French]
天啊，梦幻蓝眼
[chuckles, in English] Oh, my. Those eyes.
你一定被电晕了喔
Couldn’t you just
swim in them?
又怎样，我的袜子也是蓝色
They’re blue. Big deal.
So are my socks.
法国男人超浪漫的
And Frenchmen make such great lovers.
那是他们自己吹牛
That’s a rumor
they started about themselves.
你继续自欺欺人吧
Oh, keep telling yourself that.
-[chuckles]
-Oh!
香槟！
Champagne!
给我来两杯
Oh, two, please.
整瓶都留下来，谢谢
Just leave the bottle. Thank you.
宝贝，他跟来会帮倒忙
Baby, I don’t think that him tagging along
on your trip is going to help.
还用你说
Well, that’s a hot take.
他最后一次帮忙是让我怀上莉莉
The last time David was actually helpful
was the night we made Lily.
我不想幻想這一幕
[chuckles] There’s an image
I’m not crazy about.
学乖了才会升舱
Mmm. You live. You learn.
You upgrade.
[curtain opens]
你不是该开飞机吗？
Aren’t you supposed to be
flying the plane, Paul?
别跟乘客玩亲亲
Or at least not making out
with the passengers?
我只跟这位乘客玩亲亲
Just this passenger.
The only one that counts.
你不懂啦，保罗心里只有我
It’s a totally foreign concept to you,
but Paul puts me first.
完全支持我做的事
He supports everything I do.
她做的一切都超完美
That’s because
everything she does is perfect.
他说得太过了
He’s exaggerating.
是吗？
Is he?
-有吗？ -并没有
-Are you?
-I’m really not.
-当然有 -你说了算
-Sure you are.
-If you say so.
-[plane rumbling]
-[passengers clamoring]
没事啦，只是乱流
Okay, it’s just a little turbulence.
自动驾驶能搞定…
The plane is actually designed
to right itself in–
请回座位
Please go back to your seats.
-[fasten seat belt sign chimes]
-[passengers gasp]
这是我的房♥子，我的花♥园♥
That was my house. My garden. My house.
怎么有这么多房♥子的照片？
Why do I have so many
pictures of my house?
那是我的狗狗查理
Oh! There’s Charlie. He’s my dog.
我有说它又老又病吗？
-Did I mention he’s very old and unwell?
-[thunder rumbles]
-不会有事的 -对啊，放心啦
-It’s gonna be all right. Really.
-You’re right. It’s gonna be fine.
-[passengers clamoring]
-[thunderclap]
[passengers gasp]
这种事常常发生
[Paul] These things happen, of course,
you know.
机师不是魔法师，只能尽力而为
Pilots aren’t magicians.
We only have so much control up there.
当然，大家都能体谅
Of course. People understand that.
你这差劲机长，差点就害死我们！
You’re the fucking worst.
Nice try killing us, asshole!
你该走了，免得被暴民攻击
Maybe you should go,
before they get out the pitchforks.
-我会等你来 -好吧
-I’ll see you when you get back here.
-Yeah.
-四天后见 -好喔
-Okay. I’ll see you in four days.
-Yes.
（欢迎来到巴厘岛）
别自责喔
Don’t blame yourself, Paul.
逊咖都会犯这种错误
It could happen to anybody
who doesn’t know what they’re doing.
莉莉呢？
Where’s Lily?
你不是收到电邮，她会去接船
I thought you got her email.
She’s meeting us off the boat.
什么？
What?
这是我见过最美的地方
This is the most incredible place
I’ve ever seen.
知道哪里最美吗？
[David] You know what’s incredible?
-夏威夷，那在美国 -你又没去过
-Hawaii. And it’s in America.
-You’ve never been to Hawaii.
-你怎知？ -你没去过夏威夷
-You don’t know where I’ve been.
-You’ve never been to Hawaii.
先沙盘推演一下
-Ah…
-Okay. Let’s talk game plan.
虽然千百个不愿意，但我们得有默契
As much as this will pain us both,
we have to call a truce to make this work.
同心协力
Yes, we need to be in lockstep.
-不能互酸 -不能拌嘴
-No meanness.
-No arguing.
-同声同气 -好喔
-We speak as one.
-Exactly right.
-几时开始？ -见到莉莉后
-When do we start?
-Right after we see Lily.
跟她说婚礼取消，带她回家
We tell her the wedding is off,
and we’ll bring her home.
你也知道我们要她向右，她就会向左
[Georgia] Well, you know whenever we say
“don’t” to Lily, she just hears “do.”
我们先假装完全站在她那一边
I say we go in
100% there for her in all ways.
支持她的决定
Just supportive and loving.
她才会主动甩掉海藻男
And that’s how we trick her into
dumping Mr. Seaweed.
有意思，我想用木马屠城那一招
That’s interesting. Now, I’m thinking
about a Trojan horse sort of thing.
假装同意让他们办婚礼
We make her think
we’re okay with the wedding,
一旦混进去，就让她自己悔婚
and then once we’re in,
we get her to end it herself.
我明明就这么说
That’s literally what I just said.
你没说要用木马屠城那一招
I don’t remember
anything about a Trojan horse.
[locals chattering in Balinese]
（卡玛海洋号♥）
知道该怎么做吗？
[Georgia] Okay, so you got the plan?
当然喽，是我想的耶
[David] Of course I got the plan.
It’s my plan.
谢谢
Thanks, fellas.
嘿
-[David laughing]
-[Georgia] Hey.
-嘿，爸 -嗨
-Hey, guys! Hey, Dad.
-Hey. Hi.
-嗨 -嗨
-Hi.
-Hi. Hey and hi. [chuckles]
你们是不是想毁了我
So, did you make a pact
to not murder each other
先说好不会自相残杀？
until you murder me first?
-没人会自相残杀 -不会啦
-Come on. Nobody is murdering anybody.
-[chuckles] No, no.
我们当然有些疑问
I mean, of course,
we have some questions.
我们是你♥爸♥妈，完全支持你
We are your parents.
We are here for you, my love.
-我们默契十足 -没错
-Yes, we’re in lockstep.
-Yes. Right.
我超怕你们会把我骂惨
I’ve been really freaked out
about what you guys were gonna say.
尤其是爸爸，我穿耳洞你都大抓狂
Especially you, Dad. I mean, you had
a panic attack when I pierced my ears.
是啊，我很讲究卫生
-Yes.
-Well, it’s just about hygiene.
你也想要我当律师，只是…
And I know how much
you wanted the lawyer thing. It just–
我们只要你幸福
-Well–
-We just– We want you to be happy, honey.
对啊
Yeah.
[exhales]
太好了，我松了一大口气
-Wow. Okay. That is such a relief.
-[chuckles]
那就好
All right.
哇塞
Wow.
-芮妮，嗨 -嗨，芮妮
-Oh, Wrenny, hi.
-Hey, Wren.
-我只是来挺她 -没事了
-Don’t mind me. Just here for backup.