天堂门票（2022）

♪ Huh! ♪
喝
♪ Huh! ♪
[music continues playing]
没钱就是万万不能
♪ Money is the key to end all your woes ♪
起起伏伏 东飘西荡
♪ Your ups, your downs
Your highs and your lows ♪
爱情哪能买♥♥到面包
♪ Won’t you tell me the last time
That love bought you clothes… ♪
好耶！
[David] Oh, yeah!
就是这样
♪ And that’s the way it is ♪
[record scratches]
-最后一杯喽 -放心啦
-[Georgia] Okay, this is it.
-I got it.
-你行的 -哪一个？
-You got it. Okay.
-Which one?
只有一个
There’s only one.
-真假？ -真的，怎么了？
-Really?
-Yeah. What?
-我看到两个 -惨了
-I see two.
-Oh, God.
Jump Around” playing]
看到了
Oh, yeah.
来喽
Okay.
他要丢了
Here he goes.
水啦
Sit down!
你不必硬喝喔
Okay, you really don’t have to.
You don’t have to.
这是游戏规则
It’s literally the game.
老人家赢了，干杯啦
-Chi-town, baby! Drink it up.
-Chi-town! Chi-town!
你会吐到不行
You’re gonna throw up!
我都把这当果汁喝
Yeah, but this drink is from my homeland.
It’s like lemonade.
放心啦
It’s okay.
他会喝到挂
-Oh, he’s going down.
-So good.
他完了
Going down. He’s going down.
-你好威喔 -他完了
-That was so good. You did so good.
-He’s going down.
[groans]
好样的
You did so good.
[retching]
我的天
Oh, my God.
-他们去哪？ -拜！
-Where are they going?
-Oh! Bye!
你们要去哪？
Where are you going?
你们要去哪？
Where are you going?
♪ Jump up, jump up and get down ♪
♪ Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! ♪
♪ Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! ♪
-♪ Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! ♪
-♪ Everybody jump! ♪
♪ Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! ♪
[music stops playing]
我喝茫了
I was overserved.
我得喝柠檬汁和吃培根
I need some lemon water
and some bacon.
我爱吃培根
I like bacon.
[gasps]
你在我床上干嘛？
-What are you doing in my bed?
-What are you doing in my boxers?
-干嘛穿我内♥裤♥？ -干嘛穿我衬衫？
-内♥裤♥还我 -我的咧？
-What are you doing in my shirt?
-Give me back my underwear.
Where are my underwear?
我没穿
Not here.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
惨了，我光着屁♥股♥
Not really. I’m naked.
天啊，我们做了什么？
Oh, my God! What did we do?
我们什么都没做
Nothing. We didn’t do anything.
-我们喝到断片 -我得尿尿
-We were so drunk.
-I think I still am. I gotta pee.
别下床，你光着屁♥股♥
No, don’t get out of the bed.
Nakedness. Nakedness.
给我条裤子穿
-All right, give me something to wear.
-[grunts]
我的天
Oh, my God.
天啊
Oh, Jesus.
原来在那儿
Oh, that’s what it was.
你昨晚跑去裸泳
You went skinny-dipping in the pool
last night.
我们啥都没做
So we didn’t do anything.
就算喝到死也不会做
There’s not enough alcohol
in the world.
我穿不下啦
These aren’t gonna fit.
很宽松，相信我
-They’re stretchy, trust me.
-[knocks on door]
又是莉莉
Lily again.
[groans]
她怎么会爱我们？
Why does our daughter love us?
-她不能看到我们这样 -谁都不能
-She can’t see us like this.
-No one can see us like this.
乔吉雅，吾爱
[Paul] Georgia, my love.
-我男友保罗 -什么？
-That’s Paul. That’s my boyfriend.
-What?
你没说你讨厌惊喜吗？
Did you tell him
you don’t like surprises?
他太常给我惊喜，我都习惯了
He surprises me so much. It’s almost
not a surprise when he surprises me.
-是我，保罗 -好，等等
-Georgia? It’s me. It’s Paul.
-Okay. Wait.
-我要绕出去 -什么？
-I’m sneaking around. Distract him.
-What? What?
-分散他的注意！-你去啊！
-Distract him!
-[David] You distract him!
-快开门 -靠！
-[Paul] Georgia, open the door.
-Fuck!
嗨，保罗
Hey, Paul.
-我以为这是… -乔吉雅的房♥间？
-David. I thought this was–
-Georgia’s room?
我住这间，她住那间
-Yeah.
-No. It’s my room. That’s her room.
我住这间，我就知道是你
This is my room.
Hi, sweetie. I thought I heard you.
-是那间 -我的房♥间
-In that room.
-Which is my room.
可是柜台说…
But, I thought the guy said–
-我们换房♥间 -让我睡这间
-No, we changed rooms.
-So this could be my room.
那间比较好
It’s a much better room.
太好了，我能进去吗？
-Yeah.
-Oh, great. Can I see it?
好啊，不过咧…
Yes. But first–
能不能先去帮我拿一大壶咖啡？
Baby, do you mind? Could you just get me
a great big bucket of coffee?
好啊，没问题
-[Paul] Yeah, yeah. Anything for you.
-[Georgia chuckles]
你在练瑜珈？
You’ve been doing yoga?
没啦，只是爱穿瑜珈裤
No, I just like the pants.
Huh.
[David sighs]
赶快换房♥间
Quick, we’re changing rooms!
惨了
Oh! Shit.
好了
Okay.
我只要犹豫一秒钟
[Paul] If I had hesitated just one second,
幸好我救了170条人命
well, let’s just say there’s 170 souls
that are lucky I didn’t.
还有我
And me.
171条人命？
So 171?
-你们去哪了？ -保罗来了耶
-Hey. Where have you guys been?
-[Georgia] Did you see Paul’s here?
-他就在这 -今天要去哪？
-He’s literally standing right next to us.
-What’s the plan?
我们可以去珀尼达岛
Uh, I was thinking we could visit
the island of Nusa Penida.
-夕阳超美的 -听起来不错
-Best place on earth to watch a sunset.
-That sounds great.
我看了旅游书，大力推荐海神庙
Now, I’ve been reading in the guidebooks
about visiting the temple at Tanah Lot?
-最好别去… -酷喔
-I don’t think that’s–
-Cool.
我去叫计程车，最好叫两台
Okay, why don’t I get us some cabs? Okay?
Get us a couple of cabs.
去珀尼达岛比较好
I think Nusa Penida would be better.
先去海神庙，好呗？
We’ll do that right after Tanah Lot.
Okay?
嗨！
Hi!
知道海神庙吗？那是一座庙
Hey, do you know where Tanah Lot is?
It’s a temple, apparently.
大伙儿来吧，快啊
[claps] Here we go, guys.
Come on. Come on!
你还好吧？
[Lily] You okay?
我们不该来
We shouldn’t be here.
为什么？风景很美啊