孪生陌生人（2018）

所有的女孩现在都21岁了
‘all the girls now 21 years old.’
三胞胎 他们都有一个姐姐
The triplets, they all had an older sibling.
他们被安置在
They were placed in families
家里有一个年长的领养的孩子
where there was an older adopted child
提前由路易丝·怀斯安置的
that had been placed with, by Louise Wise.
这是设计的一部分
That was part of the design.
真高兴见到你
It’s good to see you.
真高兴见到你
It’s good to see you.
我想向你们展示一个片段
I’d just like to show you guys a clip.
劳伦斯·帕尔曼 曾是该研究的研究员
It’s Lawrence Perlman, who was a Researcher on the study.
这项研究的结果是什么?
‘What were the findings of the study?
我不知道 结果从未发表过
‘I have no idea because they were never published.
我们一直在寻找育儿方面的差异
‘We were looking for differences in parenting.
我们想了解育儿实践
‘We wanted to understand parenting practices
以及它是如何影响成长的
‘and how it would affect development.
三胞胎被安置的家庭中
‘The triplets were placed in families
都有一个年长的领养的孩子
‘where there was an older adopted child
提前由路易丝·怀斯安置的
‘that had been placed with, by Louise Wise.
这是设计的一部分
‘That was part of the design.’
看后你们有什么感受?
How do you feel watching that?
像实验室的老鼠一样
Like a lab rat.
它 它只是让它变得那么…它只是…
It, it only just makes it that much… it just only…
它只是让它…
It just makes it…
那么糟糕 – …双重伤害
That much worse. – …much more duplicitous.
呃…
Er…
他们不只是在研究孩子
They’re not just studying the kids,
但他们也在研究父母
but they’re studying the parents.
所以 他们确实知道每对父母的养育方式
So, they did in fact know the parenting style of each parent.
所以 这不是 你知道…
So, this was not, you know…
显然它不是随机的选择
Obviously it was far from a random selection.
他们确切地知道他们选择了谁
They knew exactly who they had chosen
安置在哪里 当他们打电♥话♥给嘉兰家
to place each one of us with when they called the Gallands,
凯尔曼家 还有沙弗兰家
and the Kellmans, and the Shafrans.
就他们如何养育子女而言
In terms of how they parented their children
这三个家庭
the three families
非常 非常不同
were quite, quite different.
呃…
Er…
大卫的父亲非常优秀
David’s father stood out.
世界上没有人像他的儿子一样
There was nobody in the world like his son.
他为他感到骄傲 无论他做什么都很精彩
He was so proud of him. Whatever he did was wonderful.
鲍比的父亲是个非常忙的医生
Bobby’s father was very busy as a doctor
没有那么多时间和鲍比在一起
and didn’t have the time to be with Bobby
像大卫的父亲那样
that David’s father had,
但会尽可能地照顾着他
but was as devoted to him as possible.
最传统的是艾迪的父亲…
The most traditional was Eddy’s father…
…他是相当严格的 他是一家之主
…who was rather strict. He was the boss.
他制定了规矩 艾迪要遵守
He made the rules and Eddy was supposed to follow.
艾迪与父亲的关系…
Eddy’s relationship with his father…
…它不可能是好的
…it couldn’t have been good.
这很重要
And that matters.
为什么你说这不可能是好的?
And why do you say it couldn’t have been good?
因为不然的话 我会认识他
Because otherwise, I would have known him,
我们会见到他
we would have seen him,
艾迪会谈论他
Eddy would have talked about him.
这是我们有的爱德华的最后一张照片
This was the last picture we ever had of Edward.
他非常爱交际
He was very gregarious.
他乐于年轻男孩们爱做的一切
He got into all the things young boys do.
他撞坏了一辆车
He wrecked a car
还有一些类似的东西 但是…
and a few things like that, but…
我是说 偶尔我会教训他
I mean, occasionally I disciplined him.
艾迪和他的父亲是非常不同的人
Eddy and his dad were very different as people.
艾迪更有艺术气质 有点孩子气 你知道 他不喜欢运动
Eddy was more artsy, kinda kid, you know, he wasn’t into sports.
埃利特过着一种非常军事化的
Elliott had a very strong militaristic
生活方式 非常传统
kind of approach to life, very traditional.
他是一名老师 他很在意准时
He was a teacher, he was all about punctuality.
我是一个严格的管理者
I was a strict disciplinarian,
我的孩子们不幸
and my children unfortunately
也让我成为一个严格的管理者
had me as a strict disciplinarian too.
艾迪说他总是有点感觉不到
Eddy said he always sort of didn’t feel
他适合那个家庭
like he fit in with his family.
他总觉得 就像他不在正确的地方一样
He always felt like, like he wasn’t in the right place.
你能感受到多少爱德华并不开心?
How much did you have any sense that Edward was unhappy?
他没和我说过他的问题
He didn’t discuss his problems with me.
我们是一个相当安静的家庭
We were a rather quiet family.
我们不会告诉彼此问题
We didn’t tell our problems to one another.
我们互相保护 曾是一个很好的家庭
We protected each other. It was a nice family.
有些人就是不适合
Some people are just not a good fit.
这不是他父亲的错
It wasn’t his father’s fault.
埃利特做了他认为最好的父母
Elliot did what he believed to be best as a parent.
他们只是不同的人
They were just different people.
我接到电♥话♥…我相信是鲍比
I got the phone call from… I believe it was Bobby.
他让我坐下来
And he told me to sit down
而我说没必要
and I said no need to.
他告诉了我这件事
And he told me about it.
然后就站在那里
And then standing right there
我去找我的妻子
I went over to my wife
告诉她爱德华已经自杀了
and told her Edward had committed suicide.
我们站在那里好久 都哭了
And we stood there for quite a while, crying.
而且…就是这样
And… that was it.
我常常想我是不是没教给他一些东西…
I often wondered whether I didn’t teach him something…
…因为他离开的方式
…because of the way he left.
我不知道
I don’t know.
也许我没教过他什么
Maybe I didn’t teach him something,
如何生活或者什么
how to live life or something.
这偶尔会困扰我
That bothers me occasionally.
为什么男孩们的生活完全不同?
Why did the boys’ lives turn out completely different?
我不需要读任何书籍
I don’t need to read any books,
我不需要读任何研究
I don’t need to read any studies.
我亲眼目睹了这三个男孩
I saw it first hand with those three boys.
这完全是由于后天的培育
It’s all about nurture.
这三个年轻人
‘These three young men
他们坐姿都一样
‘they are all seated in the same position.’
我们发现了很多相似之处
We found a lot of similarities
因为那是人们在寻找的东西
because that’s what people were looking for.
他们抽同样的香烟
They smoke the same kind of cigarettes.
你说 “哦 我的天”
You say, “Oh my God,
“他们在抽万宝路 这太神奇了”
“they’re smoking Marlboros, that’s amazing.”
你不会去寻找他们的差异
What you’re not looking for are their differences.
我告诉你们 我无法解释
‘I can’t get over it, I’m telling you.
你们都曾练摔跤吗?
‘You all wrestled at one time?’
是的
‘Yes.’
我们找到了相似的方式
We found the ways that we were alike
我们强调了它们 我们想要相似
and we emphasized them and we wanted to be alike.
我们彼此相爱
We were falling in love with each other.
我想有些浅显的东西
I think there were superficialities.
他们喜欢相同的东西 他们有相似的兴趣
They liked the same things and they had similar interests,
但是在更深层次他们是不同的
but deep down they were different.
他们不是生物学决定命运的案例
They were not a case study of biology being destiny.
我开始相信基因和环境
I’ve come to believe genes and the environment
是密切竞争的
are close competitors.
你可以说我们向这个方向漂移
You could say that we drift in the direction
顺着基因告诉我们的方向
that our genes tell us to go
但这并不意味着你注定了
but it doesn’t mean you are destined
成为一个人或另一个人
to be one person or another.
我相信我今天还在这里
I believe that I’m still here today
是因为我父母给我的基础
because of the foundation that was given to me by my parents.
我相信这绝对有所影响
I believe that absolutely made a difference
帮助我同任何遇到的恶魔抗争
in terms of struggling with whatever demons I struggle with.
我相信先天条件和后天培养都很重要
I believe nature and nurture both matter.
但我认为培养几乎可以克服一切
But I think nurture can overcome nearly everything.