终点到达（2018）

哇
Wow.
这连颜色都对不上
Doesn’t even match.
真是个标准的冷血变♥态♥小崽子
That is some stone cold pervert 101 shit right there.
等等 我就说我认得你嘛
Wait a minute. I knew I recognized you,
我从来不忘记人脸
I never forget a face.
这家伙跟我老爸去同一个癌症互助小组
This guy goes to my old man’s cancer support group.
不是吧
No shit.
你是因为换了新药 对吧
Oh, new meds, right?
我老爸换药的时候
When my old man’s medications change,
他也跟你似的发疯
he goes batshit crazy too.
不是吧 你应该早说的
Come on, you should have said something.
好了 起来吧孩子 你没事了
All right, get up, boy, you’re OK.
好了 这不是你的错
All right, not your fault.
不是你的错 好了 结案了
Not your fault. OK, case closed.
嘿
Hey.
你给我勇敢抗癌 听到没有
You fight this shit, you hear me?
耶
– Yeah! –
刚才真♥他♥妈♥的屌♥爆了
That was so balls-out amazing!
-你快起开 -他们朝你开电击枪
– You get off me! – They full on tasered you!
我不敢相信我清单上居然没有这一项
I can’t believe that wasn’t on my list!
你陷害我
You set me up!
我明明叫你跑了啊
I told you to run.
我差点就被抓起来了
I could have been arrested!
我还差点就能长命百岁呢
And I could have lived to 102.
你偷了东西不还是啥事没有吗
You stole some shit, you got away with it.
享受当下吧
Just enjoy the moment.
好了 你是中了电击枪
OK, so you got tasered.
然后尿裤子了吗 恶
And pissed yourself? Eww.
但你也干了件从来没有做过的事啊
But you did something you’ve never done before.
这种感觉难道不好吗
Doesn’t that feel good?
承认吧 这很令人激动
Admit it, it’s a rush.
把手给我
Give me your hand.
感觉到了吗
Feel that?
你感觉到了吗
Do you feel that?
-感觉到了 -这意味着什么
– Yes. – What does that mean?
意味着我还活着
It means I’m alive.
不是 卡尔文 它意味着你是个娘们儿
No, Calvin, it means you’re a pussy.
你都不会调节自己的心跳
How do you expect to beat a lie detector test
还怎么欺骗测谎仪呢
if you can’t regulate your heartbeat?
我为什么要去欺骗测谎仪
Why would I need to beat a lie detector?
因为清单上写了 傻瓜
Because it’s on the list, dummy.
我放弃了
I give up.
我之前觉得你很酷 卡尔文 但你一点儿也不酷
I used to think you were cool, Calvin, but you’re not.
别再给我打电♥话♥了
Don’t ever call me again.
我连你电♥话♥号♥码都没有
I don’t even have your number.
快喊我 快喊我 快喊我 快喊我 快喊我 快喊我
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
斯凯 等等
Skye, wait!
你这清单上还有什么
What else is on your list?
所以你有邀请过那个谁
So did you ask what’s-her-name out
出去约会吗
on a date yet?
没有
No.
那个谁有名字吗
Does what’s-her-name have a name?
伊兹
Izzy.
伊兹 伊兹 伊兹 卡尔文有甜头吃
Izzy, Izzy, Izzy, Calvin’s getting busy.
她在吗 我能见见她吗
Is she here, can I meet her?
不在
No.
斯凯 我得告诉你一件事
Skye, I need to tell you something.
你是处♥男♥ 我知道
You’re a virgin, I know.
我不是处♥男♥
I’m not a virgin.
-真的吗 -干嘛这样说
– Really? – Why?
我 我只是很意外 你的气场就像一个处♥男♥
I… I’m just surprised. You kinda have that aura.
你能认真点吗
Now can you be serious about something?
我是认真要找伊兹的
I can be serious about finding Izzy.
让让道
Get off the road!
姐妹 你甚至都没有拍自♥拍♥
Girl, you didn’t even take any selfies.
还指望去哪找靓仔呢
And where are the hot boys?
不像你 我是真的很在意一个人的内在的
Unlike you, I actually care what’s on the inside.
哇哦
Wow.
你觉得她太酷了我配不上吗
Do you think she’s too cool for me?
她哪点你都配不上
She’s too everything for you.
嗨
– – Hi.
噢 你的机会来了
Ooh! Now’s your chance!
把车开过去亮瞎她
Drive up there and whisk her away.
啥事都得我来吗
Do I have to do everything?
斯凯 别
No, Skye.
我不知道应不应该把这个给你
I don’t know if I should give this to you.
你追不到她的
She’s so out of your league.
行吧 我想啥时候约她出去都行
Fine. I can just ask her out whenever I want,
我总能见到她
I see her all the time.
那如果她拒绝呢
What if she says no?
你给她打电♥话♥的时候 问问她穿的是啥
When you call her, ask her what she’s wearing.
女孩儿们都吃这一套
Girls like that.
嘿 你好 伊兹
Hey… Hey, Izzy.
我是卡尔文
It’s Calvin.
嘿 你好 伊兹
Hey. Hey, Izzy.
嘿 伊兹 你现在穿的是啥
Hey, Izzy, what are you wearing?
你好 伊兹 好猥琐
Hello, Izzy. Creepy.
我是卡尔文 最近咋样 伊兹 我是小卡
I’m Calvin. Sup, Izzy? It’s Cal.
我是小卡
It’s Cal.
有什么事 伊兹 我是卡尔文
What’s up, Iz? It’s Calvin.
-嘿 伊兹 我是小卡 -您好
– Hey, Izzy. It’s Cal… – Hello.
感谢您致电奥尔巴尼飞行学校
Thank you for calling Albany Flight School.
如果想了解如何成为一名乘务员的话
For information on becoming a flight attendant,
请留下您的姓名 电♥话♥和详细信息
please leave your name, number and a detailed message.
谢谢 祝您一天愉快
Thank you and have a nice day.
呜
Whoo!
抱歉 我是
Sorry, I’m…
我是卡尔文 斯凯的朋友
I’m Calvin, Skye’s friend.
他为什么穿得跟鬼似的
Why was he dressed as a ghost?
-干啥呢 -我的天
– What are we doing? – Oh, my God.
你看起来像个大人
You look grown up.
-谢谢 -斯凯 卡尔文是谁
– Thanks. – Skye, who’s Calvin?
卡尔文来了 你怎么没告诉我呢
Calvin’s here. Why didn’t you say?
等等 为什么你看起来像个大人
Wait, why do you look grown-up?
阿什莉要开派对 老朋友们都会去的
Ashley’s having a party, old friends are gonna be there.
呃 但是家长也会去 所以 就很没劲
Um, but so are parents, so, you know, lame.
你要去参加派对
You’re going to a party.
是的 卡尔文带我去
Yeah, Calvin’s bringing me.
卡尔文是谁
And who’s Calvin?
别担心 我们不会迟到的
Don’t worry, we won’t be late.
斯凯 你妈妈在问你话呢
Skye. Your mum asked you a question.
-卡尔文是谁 -卡尔文是谁
– Who’s Calvin? – Who’s Calvin?
我互助小组里的人
From my support group.
我不敢相信这个不在我的清单里
I can’t believe this wasn’t on my list.
你偷来的吗
Did you steal it?
这样说吧 我认识个人
Let’s just say I know a guy.
怎么了嘛 我也有朋友啊
What? I know people.
嘿 你不是说这是个变装派对吗
And, hey, I thought you said this was a costume party.
哦 是的 只是我觉得我爸妈
Oh, it is. I just, I didn’t think my parents
应该不会同意我的装扮的
would approve of mine.
-我该担心吗 -你有不担心过吗
– Should I be worried? – When are you not?
当心点 别老是急转弯
Watch it, you’re swerving all over the place.
好吧 我没有在急转弯
OK, I’m not swerving.
这才是急转弯
This is swerving.
噢 不不不 不
Oh, no. No, no, no.
也许现在不是
Ruh-ro, maybe not the best time
从你龟壳里出来的最佳时机啊 卡尔文
to come out of your shell, Calvin.
你觉得我们能飙过他们吗
Think we can outrun them?
停车吧 停车 停车
Stop, just stop, just stop.
-驾照和登记证明出示一下 先生 -好的
– License and registration, sir? – Yeah.