白虎（2021）

-你会做饭吗？ -当然了 我的厨艺很好
– Do you cook? – Certainly, sir. Very well.
-你会做什么？ -各种甜食 先生
– Like what? – Sir, all kinds of sweets, sir.
玫瑰奶球、奶豆腐汤圆 拉杜球、甜奶球、腰果糖
Gulab jamun, rasgulla ho gaya, ladoo, rasmalai, kaju barfi.
只要您喜欢的都会 先生
Whatever you like, sir.
司机包做饭 只有印度才有这种事 你可以明天开始上班吗？
The driver can cook too. Only in India. Can you start tomorrow?
先别急 我们得先查一下他的家底
Not so fast, bhai. We’ll have to check on his family first.
-你要多少薪水？ -我不要工资 先生
– How much you want? – I don’t want any money, sir.
你们就像是我的父母 我怎么能向自己父母要钱呢？
You are like parents to me. How can I ask my parents for money?
一个月一千五
Fifteen-hundred a month.
不 先生 这太多了 给我一半的薪水就够了
No, sir, that’s too much.Give me half of that, sir. It’s enough.
如果你过了两个月的试用期 工资会涨到两千
If we keep you beyond two months, it will go to 2,000.
-而且你只给我开车 -是 先生
-And you only drive me. -Yes, sir.
你能不能别老按喇叭？
Can you honk less?
伙计 你想爬进这车子里吗？
Bro, you wanna climb in here?
-快走吧！ -你小心开车！
– Get moving! – Watch how you drive!
你为什么跟他吵架？
Why’d you do that?
我们该拿棍子吗？
Should we take sticks?
-别那样做 -拿棍子吧
-Don’t. – Get the rod? Get the rod.
我知道你是装的 还没决定请你呢 乡巴佬！
I know you’re play-acting. You haven’t been hired yet, hick!
猫鼬肯定 给他在拉奇芒格阿尔的人打过电♥话♥
The Mongoose must have called his man in Laxmangarh,
因为两天后 他们雇用我的时候
because two days later when they did hire me,
对我家的情况已经摸得一清二楚
they knew everything about my family.
印度家族 是我们这个国家的自豪与荣耀
The pride and glory of our nation, the Indian family.
每个主人都必须时刻知道 仆人的家人住在哪里
Every master has to know exactly where their servant’s family live at all times
以防有仆人偷东西逃跑
just in case a servant decides to steal from his employer and run.
若真发生这种事…
If so?
说句公道话 换作是我也会同样处理
Fair enough. I would do the same.
但主人对犯事仆人的家人也这样
But it’s what the masters do to their servants’ families.
这就是鸡笼法则
This is how the rooster coop works.
所以它才能困住数百万的印度男女
This is how it traps so many millions of men and women in India.
因此 阿鹳和他两个儿子 对我的忠诚可以尽管放心
So rest assured, the Stork and his sons could count on my loyalty.
就这间
This is the room.
我的房♥间？
This is my room?
你跟我同住
You’ll share it with me.
我去杂物房♥给你找张床垫
I’ll find a mattress from the store for you.
不 不必了
No, there’s no need for that.
我睡地板就挺舒服的 不烦您费心了
I’ll be quite comfortable on the floor. Nothing to worry about.
居然还有个漂亮的屋顶！
There’s even a first class roof!
给 你要一直穿着这套制♥服♥
Here. You’re to wear this at all times.
-这是我的？ -对
– It’s mine? – Yes.
-嘿 猛♥男♥！ -什么事 先生？
– Hey, hero! – Yes, sir?
希望你喜欢地毯
I hope you like carpets.
你先清洁地毯 再把所有窗户洗了
When you’re done cleaning those, wash all the windows.
听懂了吗？
Got it?
可我是司机啊 先生
But I’m the driver, sir.
不 你是二号♥司机
No. You’re the “number two” driver.
中♥央♥冷却器涡轮2800 4X4
帕杰罗
世界上有任何一种仇恨 能比二号♥仆人对一号♥仆人的仇恨
Is there any hatred on Earth like the hatred of the number-two servant for
更强烈吗？
the number one?
我在搞卫生 他却像主人一样大摇大摆
While I cleaned, he strolled about like a master.
他把所有印度教神明都排成一排 整天在祈祷
He had every Hindu God lined up and was always praying,
似乎在指控我是拥护毛思想的 纳萨尔派 像您一样的共♥产♥主义者
as if to accuse me of being a Naxal, a communist, like you, sir.
我一定要在祷告方面打败他
I would not let him out pray me.
先生 兰帕萨德为什么不吃饭？
Sir, why is Ram Persad not eating?
-而且他最近的口气很重 -你给我闭嘴
– And his mouth stinks these days. – You keep your mouth shut.
这个家伙肯定有什么秘密
This man was hiding something,
而一个成功的企业家 总能挖出他的对手的秘密
and a successful entrepreneur always finds his competition’s secrets.
很好 你听到了吗？ 是的 刚才那一下舒服吧？
Good job. Good. Did you hear that? Yeah, that was good, right?
嘿 司机！请你过来一下
Hey, driver! Hey, driver. Can you come here, please?
好的 做这个你得躺下来…
All right, I need you to lie down for this?
嘿！进来
Hey! Come in.
我想问你几个问题
I wanted to ask you some questions.
嘿 你能不能转过去一下？
Hey, could you turn around for me for a second?
-好的 -不是！
– Yes. – No!
我不是这个意思 你就站这儿
That’s not what I meant. Just stand here.
我感觉你的背…
Um, I feel like your back’s?
承认这一点让我挺羞愧的
I’m ashamed to admit it now,
但当时我以为 阿肖克先生的老婆平姬夫人
but in that moment I thought Mr. Ashok’s wife, Pinky Madam,
是“那种女人”
was one of “those women.”
不好意思 我都没有自我介绍
Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even introduce myself.
嗨 我是平姬 很高兴认识你
Hi, I’m Pinky. Nice to meet you.
老婆 没事 我要跟他谈
Honey, honey, all right. I need to talk to him.
-好吧 行 -我要跟他谈
– All right. Okay. – I need to talk.
那个 司机 我们俩… 不好意思 你叫什么名字？
So, uh, driver. We’re both? I’m sorry. What’s your name?
-先生 我叫巴拉姆 -是的 巴拉姆
– Sir, Balram, sir. – Yeah, Balram.
巴拉姆 你知道互联网是什么吗？
So, Balram, do you know what the Internet is?
不知道 先生 但我可以现在开车去市场买♥♥
No, sir, but I could drive to the market right now, sir,
-您要多少我都给您买♥♥回来 -不是 没关系 谢谢你
-and get as many as you want. -No, it’s okay. Thank you.
你有脸书账号♥吗？
Do you have Facebook?
有啊 先生 书 我一直很喜欢书
Yes, sir. Books. I always loved books, sir.
我听说你识字 你见过电脑吗？
Yeah, I heard you can read. Have you ever seen a computer?
见过 其实我们村里有很多 跟山羊一起
Yes, sir. Actually, we had many of them in the village, with the goats.
-山羊？ -是 先生
– Goats? – Ji, sir.
能用电脑 那些山羊肯定进化得很好
The goats are pretty advanced to use computers.
我从他们的表情可以看出来 我犯了一个错误
I could tell from their faces I had made a mistake.
平姬 你看看 他上过两、三年学
Pinky, you see. He’s got two, three years schooling in him.
他识字也会写字
He can read and write,
但他不明白自己读的是什么意思 他是半桶水
but he doesn’t get what he’s read.He’s half-baked.
你太不尊重人了 他就站在我们面前
Okay, now you’re being a jerk. He’s standing right there.
-我不是不尊重人 -得了吧 阿肖克
– I’m not being a jerk. – Come on, Ashok.
你没抓住重点
You’re missing the point, Pinky.
我们的司机代表印度最大的 尚未被开♥发♥的市场
Our driver represents the biggest untapped market in India,
等着上网浏览 买♥♥部手♥机♥ 上升至中产阶级
waiting to surf the web, buy a cell phone, rise up into middle class.
这是我能帮助他的事
Something I can help him do.
你就是印度的未来 巴拉姆
You’re the new India, Balram.
我就是印度的未来 先生
I am the new India, sir.
你可以下去了
You can go.
我不喜欢他对我的评价
I didn’t like the way he had spoken about me.
“半桶水” 但他说得没错
“Half-baked.” But he was right.
阁下 您来印度的话
When you come to India, sir,
会看到几亿像我这样的男人
you’ll meet hundreds of millions of men like me.
打开我们棕色的头颅 用笔形电筒照一照里面
Open up our brown skulls and look inside with a penlight.
网吧
您会看到所有 不成熟的、半桶水的想法
You’ll find all these ideas, half-formed, half-correct,
混在一起 一团乱麻 我们就是按这些想法生活和行动
all buggering one another, and that is what we live and act on.
很好 高一点 对 就是这里
Very good. A little higher. Yeah, there.
爸 我跟你说 印度的未来在于 做美国公♥司♥的外包生意
Papa, India’s future is in outsourcing with American companies.
我们的未来是跟中国合作 他们在大建高速公路 他们需要煤炭
Our future is China. They’re building superhighways, they need coal,
我们正好是卖♥♥煤炭的
and we sell coal.
我认为我们该多元发展 IT行业正在蓬勃发展 互联网…
But I really think we should diversify. The IT sector is booming, the Internet…
互联网？那是什么东西？
Internet? What is that?
煤炭是真实的 我能摸得着的
Coal is real. I can touch it.
不 先生 我听阿肖克先生说 互联网跟蜘蛛网一样真实
No, sir. I learned from Ashok Sir, the Internet is as real as a spider’s web,
它能把全世界的人类连接…
that it connects all the human beings across…
-知道自己为什么挨打吗？ -知道
– Know what that was for? – Yes, sir.
为什么？
What for?
-因为互联网 先生 -喂！
– For the Internet, sir. – Hey!
你压得太用力了 让爸爸不舒服 慢一点
You’re pressing it too hard. Papa is getting annoyed. Slow down.
你为什么打仆人？ 你在美国敢这么做 会被人告的
Why do you hit the servants?In America, they can sue you for that.
这里不是美国 儿子
This is not America, son.
不揍他们 他们就不尊重我们 你一定要记住
They respect us for that. Remember that.
喂 按上一点
Hey, a little higher.
有机清新剂 4300卢比
数一数 别事后来跟我扯皮
Count it.I don’t want to hear shit later.
我只准留下两百
I was only allowed to keep 200.
够数 先生！
Good, sir.
奶奶每个月 都让基善来把其余的钱带回去给她
Granny sent Kishan each month to take the rest back to her.
他们不是同一个种姓的 她是基♥督♥徒
And they’re not from the same caste. She’s a Christian.
-他居然娶了她？ -是啊
– And he married her? – Yeah.
这在美国很正常
That’s normal in America.
她的家人最初也反对 但他很坚决
Her people were against it, too, but he wouldn’t listen.