鲸 The Whale（2022）

and the sores on my skin,
开裆裤内外全是
and the patches of mold
大块大块的霉斑
in between the flaps. Stop.
屁♥股♥也溃烂了
The infected ulcers on my ass,
还有我背上那层厚厚的肥肉 在去年就染成了棕色
and the sack of fat on my back that turned brown last year.
够了 停下! -恶心吗?
Okay, stop! -This is disgusting?
恶心! -我很恶心?
Yes! -I’m disgusting?
是 你很恶心! 你很…
Yes, you’re disgusting! You’re…
对不起
I’m sorry.
什么?
What?
回家吧
Go home to your family.
周五
好吧
Well,
你们的投诉上面已经知道了
your complaints have been heard.
毫无疑问
I’ve been replaced
我马上就会被撤换
by someone who will, no doubt,
你们要重写 重写 再重写
have you rewrite, and rewrite, and rewrite,
每一遍草稿
be more objective,
都要更客观
less authentic,
少一些臆想和主观
less you, with every draft.
有部分人看了后我那篇帖子
But some of you saw my post
我叫你们写些真实的东西
about writing something honest.
然后…
And…
…真的有人写了…
…the things that some of you wrote…
克里斯蒂 你写道
Kristy, you wrote,
我父母希望我当一名放射科医生
My parents want me to be a radiologist,
可我根本不知道那是什么
but I don’t even know what that is.
朱利安 你写道
Julian, you wrote,
我厌倦了别人一直说我前途无量
I’m sick of people telling me that I have promise.
亚当 你写道
Adam, you wrote,
我想我需要接受我的生活
I think I need to accept that my life
不会很精彩的事实
isn’t going to be very exciting.
这些文字惊人又真实
You all wrote these amazing, honest things, and…
你们对我是那么真诚 我…
you’ve been so honest with me that I… I…
…我也想…
…I just want to be…
对你们真诚
honest with you, too.
这些作业不重要
These assignments don’t matter.
这门课程不重要
This course doesn’t matter.
大学也不重要
College doesn’t matter.
这些惊人而真实的文字
These amazing, honest things that you wrote,
才重要
they matter.
对不起 -别
I’m sorry. -Don’t.
我很恨你又让我经历一次这些 知道吗?
I really hate you for putting me through this again, you know that?
艾伦走前的最后几个月…
Those last few months before Alan…
我跑到这儿 摇他 吼他
I’d come over here, shake him, scream at him,
想让他哪怕吃一点点东西
just trying to get him to fucking eat something.
那简直是种煎熬! -我也很煎熬
God, that was awful! -It was awful for me, too.
是吗? 至少你不用去
Yeah? Well, you weren’t the one
辨认他的尸体
who had to identify his body,
全肿胀… -他们不让我去
all bloated… -They wouldn’t let me.
我不是他家人
I wasn’t family.
我给你买♥♥了两个肉丸 配奶酪
I got you two meatball subs. Extra cheese.
我不知道我在做什么
I don’t know what I’m doing.
我不去医院
I’m not going to the hospital.
我没叫你去
I’m not asking you to.
我不能再这样下去了
I can’t do this anymore.
我也想救他 丽兹
I tried to save him, Liz.
我以为只要我爱他
I thought that if I just loved him,
他就不需要任何人
that he wouldn’t need anyone else.
我告诉他不需要上帝
I told him he didn’t need God,
除了我 任何人他都不需要
he didn’t need anyone but me.
查理
Charlie,
我只知道你给了艾伦
all I know is that you gave Alan
他一生中最美好的时光
the best years of his life.
如果不是你
If it weren’t for you,
他几年前就从那桥上跳下去了
he would have jumped off that bridge years earlier.
没有人救得了他
Nobody could’ve saved him.
我花了好几年时间想救他
Believe me, I spent years trying.
我不相信任何人能拯救任何人
I don’t think I believe anyone can save anyone.
她救了他
She saved him.
她不是想伤害他
She wasn’t trying to hurt him.
她是想帮他
She was trying to help him.
你在说谁?
Who are you talking about?
他要回家了 她做到了
He’s going home. She did that.
查理 -她那么做不是想伤害他
Charlie… -She didn’t do it to hurt him,
她是想帮他回家
she did it to send him home.
你感觉头晕吗? 查理 看着我
Do you feel light-headed? Charlie, look at me.
她想帮他 -谁?
She was trying to help him. Who?
艾莉 她想帮他
Ellie. She was trying to help him,
她只是想帮他回家
She just wanted to send him home.
你有没有感觉过…
Do you ever get the feeling that…
人不可能不在乎他人?
people are incapable of not caring?
人很了不起
People are amazing.
你♥他♥妈♥做了什么?
What the fuck did you do?
他怎么了?
What’s wrong with him?
他要死了
He’s dying.
那叫人
So, call someone.
不用 -叫救护车!
No. Call a fucking ambulance!
丽兹
Liz.
我要和他谈谈
I need to talk to him.
我不会让他单独和你在一起
I’m not leaving you alone with him.
我需要和他单独谈谈
I need to talk to him alone.
丽兹
Liz.
求你了
Please.
好
Okay.
我去叫人
I’ll call someone.
查理
Charlie.
我在楼下等
I’ll wait downstairs.
你为什么要这么做? -什么?
Why did you do that? -What?
我没通过
I failed.
这是一篇非常好的文章
It’s a really good essay.
你想最后再搞我一次吗?
Are you just trying to screw me over one last time?
我不在乎你! 不在乎你是不是要死
I don’t care about you! I don’t care that you’re dying.
你想让我高中毕不了业吗?
Do you want me to fail out of high school?
这就是原因? -不是我写的
Is that why you did this? -I didn’t write it.
这就是昨天你给我的那篇文章
This is the essay that you gave me yesterday.
你没读过 -我不需要读
You didn’t read it. -I don’t need to read it.
读吧
Read it.
这是…
This is…
我知道这是什么
I know what this is.
我就知道你认得
I knew you would.
这是我写的
I wrote this.
你不会忘记任何事
You never forget anything.
我八年级时写的这篇文章 你怎么会…
I wrote this in eighth grade for English. Why do you…
但最令我难过的
And I felt saddest of all
是那一遍遍无聊的
when I read the boring chapters
关于鲸鱼的描述
that were only descriptions of whales,
因为我知道
because I knew that
作者是想让我们从他的悲伤故事里
the author was just trying to save us
得到些许喘息
from his own sad story,
哪怕就那么一会儿
just for a little while.
你怎么会有这个? -你妈妈
How do you have this? -Your mother,
四年前寄给我的
she sent it to me four years ago.
我想知道你学习怎么样
I wanted to know how you were doing in school,
她就发给我了
and she sent it.
这是我读过的最好的文章
And it’s the best essay I’ve ever read.
你到底为什么要这样对我?
Why are you fucking with me like this?
我没有
I’m not.
对不起我丢下了你
I’m sorry for leaving you.
我恋爱了 然后…
I was in love, and…
我抛弃了你
I left you behind.