鲸 The Whale（2022）

还有你的厨艺
That, and the cooking.
上个月 我试着抄一道菜 -是么?
Last month, tried to make a stir-fry thing. -Yeah?
差点把整个房♥子都烧了
Almost set the entire apartment building on fire.
我真不知道你会变成这个样子
I never knew you were doing this to yourself.
因为你从没问过我过得怎么样
Well, you never asked how I was doing.
你也从没有问过我过得怎样
You never asked how I was doing either.
每个月 只会说
Every month, it’s just,
需要多少钱? 或者艾莉如何?
How much money do you need? or, How’s Ellie?
你没告诉我她要退学了
You didn’t tell me that she’s flunking out of school.
我只是不想听你长篇大论
I guess I just didn’t need the lecture
教我如何教育她
about my involvement in her education.
我不是这个…
That is not what I…
你还好吗 玛丽?
How’re you doing, Mary?
我知道我不该跟她在一起
I know I’m not supposed to be around her.
你想报♥警♥就报吧 -天
You could probably call the police if you wanted to. -Oh, Christ.
你真的以为我会报♥警♥?
You really think I’d do that?
你为了完全监护权和我争得很厉害
You fought me pretty hard for full custody.
当然我也不怪你
And I don’t blame you for keeping her from me.
查理
Charlie
需不需要我提醒你 是你抛下了我们
need I remind you that you left us.
我知道
I know.
我不但得一个人抚养她
And I was left raising our kid
还得向别人解释丈夫跟一个男人跑了
and explaining to people that my husband left me for a man.
但你也没必要把我从她生活中剔除
But you didn’t have to cut me out of her life like that.
拜托
Oh, please.
是你压根儿就没关心过我们
You were more than happy to forget about us for a while.
你很清楚
You know that.
我知道我犯了很多错
I know I made a lot of mistakes.
我只是想见见她 玛丽
But I just wanted to see her, Mary.
我一直都只是想见见她
I’ve always just… Just wanted to see her.
你只考虑你自己
It’s all about you.
现在也是 哈?
Even now, huh?
这下你知道我为什么不让你见她了吧
Now you know why I kept you from her.
什么?
What?
她糟透了 对吧?
She’s awful. Isn’t she?
她很可怕 而你认为这都是我的错
She’s a terror. And you think it’s my fault.
等等
Wait,
这就是你从来都不让我见她的原因?
is that why you kept her from me all this time?
你认为我会觉得你是个不称职的母亲?
Because you thought that I would think that you’re a bad mother?
一开始是
At first.
但后来 当她十五六岁时
But later, when she was 15, 16,
我担心她会伤害你
I was worried she would hurt you.
伤害我?
Hurt me?
太荒谬了
It’s ridiculous.
我也不愿承认这一点
I don’t take any pleasure in admitting it.
我毕竟是她母亲
I’m her mother, for Christ’s sake.
我花了很长时间不断告诉自己
You know, I spent way too much time telling myself,
她只是叛逆
you know, She’s just rebellious,
难以相处
she’s just difficult.
查理
Charlie,
她很邪恶
she’s evil.
她才不邪恶
She’s not evil.
你要干嘛?
What are you doing?
你以为只有我?
You think it’s just me?
他燃烧时的烈火 在地狱里久久无法扑灭
There’ll be a grease fire in hell when he starts to burn.
别太难过
Don’t feel bad.
我也被她发过几次
I’ve made quite a few appearances on that thing.
她的文笔很好
She’s a strong writer.
这就是你的反应?
That’s your response?
这又不邪恶
This isn’t evil.
这是诚实
This is honesty.
你知道我这辈子读过多少狗屁吗?
Do you know how much bullshit I’ve read in my life?
上帝啊 我真搞不懂你 查理!
My God, I don’t understand you, Charlie!
每次我打电♥话♥问你她怎么样
Every time I call and ask you how she’s doing,
你都说 她很好
you say, She’s fine.
如果你觉得她邪恶 那…
If she’s so evil, then…
你觉得我该说什么? 哈?
What was I supposed to tell you? Huh?
她很讨人厌 把同学弄哭了
That she was off making her classmates cry
又或者她把老师的轮胎划破了?
or slashing her teachers’ tires?
你根本不想听这些!
You didn’t want to hear that stuff!
我可以帮她!
I could have helped her!
她不需要你的帮助!
She doesn’t want your help!
她不需要任何人帮助!
She doesn’t want anyone!
你以为我不想让她有个父亲吗?
You think I didn’t want her to have a dad?
她曾那么喜欢你!
She adored you!
当初你娶我的唯一原因
The only reason you married me in the first place
就是想生个孩子 我很清楚!
was to have a kid, I know that!
玛丽 求你了!
Mary, please!
好吧
Well,
以前我们就是这么吵的 对吧?
this brings back memories, doesn’t it?
听着
Listen.
我从没说过抱歉
I never got to say that I was sorry.
你有什么好抱歉的?
What would you have to be sorry about?
我不是那个意思
That’s not what I mean.
我是说
I mean…
关于
About
你朋友的事
your friend.
哦
Oh.
他叫艾伦
His name was Alan.
我知道他的名字 查理
I know his fucking name, Charlie.
我见过他一次
I saw him once,
在沃尔玛停车场
in the Walmart parking lot.
他看起来不太好
He wasn’t looking too good,
但我绝没想到他会…
and I don’t think it was long before he…
总之 我心里积了一大堆话…
Anyway, I had all these things that I…
想对他说
I wanted to say to him,
毫不客气的那种
you know, hurl at him like bricks.
但最终…
But I…
我问他是否需要帮忙
I asked if he wanted some help.
他让我帮他把几个袋子抬到他车上
He let me carry a couple of bags to his car,
然后说了声谢谢
he said thank you,
我就走了
and I left.
我从未告诉过他我是谁
I never even told him who I was.
你在喘气
You’re wheezing.
是
Yeah,
恶化了
it’s gotten worse.
需要叫人吗?
Should I call someone?
不用
No.
我能听下吗？
You’ll let me hear?
听起来如何?
How do I sound?
这还是近九年来我们
That was the first time we’ve all been together
第一次离得这么近
in almost nine years.
发现了吗?
Do you realize that?
在艾莉很小的时候
When Ellie was little,
我们一起去俄勒冈海岸度假
when we took that trip to the Oregon Coast together,
艾莉在沙滩上玩…
Ellie played in the sand, and…
…我俩躺在沙滩上
…we laid out on the beach.
然后我去海里游泳
I went swimming in the ocean.
那是我最后一次游泳
That was the last time I ever went swimming, actually.
我的腿老是被石头滑破
I kept cutting my legs on the rocks.
水是那么的冷
The water was so cold.
我的腿流血了 你气的不行
And you were so mad that my legs bled
怪我把车的座椅弄脏了
and stained the seats in the minivan.
你还说 在之后的几天 我身上一股海水味
And you said, for days after that, I smelled like seawater.
你还记得吗?
You remember that?
你听起来很糟
You sound awful.
我快死了 玛丽
I’m dying, Mary.
去你的
Fuck you.
对不起
I’m sorry.
去你的
Fuck you.