替身演员（2022）

Okay – Just, um, tell Marco to hurry up, okay?
好 我会的
Yeah. Yeah, I will
你还好吗
Are you okay?
好极了
Great
我们要演《仲夏夜之梦》 – 哇
So we’re doing A Midsummer Night’s Dream – Oh, wow
如果你想来的话就太棒了 我演莱桑德
Yeah. I think it’d be awesome if you wanted to come. I’m Lysander
其中一个爱人 那可是个重要角色
One of the lovers. That’s a great role
儿子 她不会去看莎士比亚高中话剧
Hijo, she’s not going to a high school play of Shakespeare
还是完整版的 – 没人问你 蠢猪
Unabridged – No one asked you, cerdito
我觉得她应该知道全部情况
Thought she should have the whole information
一共两个半小时 这不算中场休息
I mean, it’s two and half hours, not counting intermission
是莎士比亚嘛 本来… – 就是太长了 伙计
It’s Shakespeare. It – It’s long, is what it is, papi
走吧 你妈妈在等你 走吧
Come on, your mom is waiting for you. Come on
好的 各位再见
Okay. All right. Bye, everybody
我们一起祈祷吧 这个周末咱俩都有重要的首映
And fingers crossed, we both have big openings this weekend
各位再见 – 再见 孩子
Bye, guys – Bye, mijo
是我助理 我该… – 你知道这说明什么吗 该打包剩菜了
That’s my assistant, I should probably – You know what that means? Leftover time. I need to make you a care package
我给你打包好 – 不用了 我已经吃得够饱了
Please, I’ve had more than enough – White girl!
白人女孩
Make a plate of tamales for the white girl to bring home
让这个白人女孩带回去一份玉米粉蒸肉
Mmm – Oh!
墨西哥菜用微波炉加热就行 好吗
Heat the Mexican stuff in the microwave, okay?
韩国菜我就不知道了
I don’t know what to do with the Korean stuff
一 二… 说 “泡菜”
One, two – Say “Kimchi!”
泡菜
Kimchi!
好了 可以了 不拍了 可以了
Okay. Okay, that’s enough. No, no, no, no. No. Enough
不拍了 各位 到此为止
No, guys. No more. No more
教堂里那些女人看到照片会嫉妒死
The church ladies are gonna shit themselves when they see this!
对不起 我的主
Sorry my Lord!
走吧 各位 我们进去吧 – 谢谢 再见 谢谢
Come on, guys. Now, let’s go inside – Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Thank you
再次感到抱歉 西班牙人没有 “分寸” 的这个概念
Sorry again. There’s no word for “boundaries” in Spanish
很明显 韩国人也是这样
Or Korean, apparently
我很喜欢 我不怎么见自己的家人
I liked it. I don’t see my family that much
而且你说对了 – 什么
And you were right – What?
伊莎贝尔吃醋了
Isabel is jealous
或许咱俩都能通过这件荒唐事 来实现自己的目的
Maybe we’ll both get what we want out of this insanity
抱歉 位智把我带到了练球场
Sorry. Waze took me to some batting cage
好的
Okay
好了
All right, well…
就此别过了
I guess this is, uh, goodbye
谢谢 非常感谢你帮了我
Thank you. Thank you so much for helping me out
是的 我正看着他们呢 女士 他们就是情侣
Yeah, I’m looking at ’em right now, ma’am. They’re a couple
她真的在西班牙社区过夜了吗
She really spent the night in the barrio?
我不想再重复一遍的 但是没错 他们一起过夜了
I don’t think we use that word anymore, but yeah, they shacked up
真不敢相信那个混♥蛋♥说的是实话
I can’t believe that bastard was actually telling the truth
偶尔会的 虽然不经常是这样 但偶尔会
Well, it happens sometimes. Not always, but sometimes
我会把发♥票♥发给你
I’ll send an invoice
我昨晚睡不着
Couldn’t sleep last night
所以就倒了一杯苏格兰威士忌 做了深刻的反思
so I poured myself a scotch and did some soul – searching
我问自己: “我想做什么样的人”
And I asked myself, “What kind of man do I wanna be?”
我发现答案是 “富人”
And I realized the answer to that question is “rich”
我想做有钱有权的人
I want to be a rich and powerful man
我很欣赏你的诚实 – 我脑子出问题了吗
I admire your honesty – And what was I thinking
我像莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥一样 首映式上在两个女人之间横跳
juggling two women at a premiere like I’m Leonardo DiCaprio?
我上商学院时有个梦想
You know, when I was in business school, I had one dream
那就是成为一个房♥地♥产♥大帝国的总裁
and that was to become the CEO of a vast real estate empire
我为什么要为了一时的心血来潮 赌上这一切
Now, why would I risk all that for what might likely be a passing fancy?
奥利维亚现在确实挺让人迷恋的
I mean, sure, Olivia’s intoxicating now
可谁知道我几个月后会怎么想呢
but who knows how I’ll feel in a few months?
再说了 我爱我老婆
Besides, I adore my wife
怎么能不爱呢 她那完美
I mean, why wouldn’t I? She’s the whole package
是卡普尔
It’s Kapoor
喂 两位
Hello. Hello, guys?
卡普尔 你发现了什么
Kapoor, what do you got?
斯特格曼的工作正式完成了
Stegman is officially out of work
好的 棒极了
Okay, spectacular!
凯瑟琳停止调查了
Kathryn called the dogs off
恭喜你 你安然逃过一劫
Congratulations. You got away scot – free
我只是出于好奇
Out of curiosity, um…
是什么让她转变♥态♥度了
What was the turning point?
我真不想告诉你 老板 但她在那里过夜了
Well, I hate to tell you, boss, but she spent the night
我知道了
I see, uh…
她和他睡了
She slept with him
文森特 重要的是 你的帝国和婚姻还好好的
Vincent, the important thing is that your empire and your marriage are still intact
没人问你
No one asked you
卡普尔 听我说
Kapoor, listen to me
再雇一个侦探
Hire another detective
我要有人日夜跟踪她
I want someone following her day and night
我也要有人日夜跟踪他
I want someone following him day and night
全面跟踪
Full saturation coverage
让你越来越放松
to relax you further and further
肩膀下垂 放松双臂
Let your shoulders drop. Relax your arms
想象着自己在释放的同时
Feel your body begin to relax
感受到身体在渐渐放松
as you envision yourself letting go
你一定很郁闷
This is depressing
我听说你或许在找工作
I heard you might be looking for a job
狗♥娘♥养♥的 你监听我了
Son of a bitch. You had me bugged
对 我对自己的工作很拿手
Yeah, I’m good at what I do
你想不想赚钱
You want a paycheck or what?
好吧
Okay
你是什么性♥爱♥大神吗 安东尼奥
Are you some kind of sex god, Antonio?
我不是性♥爱♥大神
I’m not a sex god
我小时候养过一条狗 它身上有一种 或散发着某种
When I was a kid, I had a dog that had a scent or gave off something
让所有母狗都为之疯狂的味道
that drove all the girl dogs crazy
或许… 或许你身上也有那种味道
Maybe… maybe you got something like that
《日落》超大广♥告♥牌上的那个人 是不是她
Isn’t she on that huge billboard on Sunset?
手捧赛百味芝士牛肉三明治吃的那个人
The one holding the cheesy beef Subway sandwich? No, not that one
不是 不是她
对 就是那个穿皮靴的辣妹
Yes! The hottie with the leather boots
没错
That’s it!
是的 确实是她
Ah yes, that one
如果你和奥利维亚没结果 给我打电♥话♥
If things don’t work out with Olivia, give me a call
好了 够了 你和我进洗手间 我得见识一下 马上
Okay, that’s it! You and me in the bathroom. I got to see it. Right now
我没听错吧
Did I hear that right? – Yes, he’s going to show him
没听错 他要给他看看
他们都喜欢我的电影 你看过评论了吗
They love my movie. Did you read the reviews?
我以为你永远都不会看
I thought you never read them
我当然会看了 我又不傻
Course I read them. I’m not a crazy person
《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》说 “埃尔哈特大卖♥♥” 《综艺》说 “是一大胜利”
New York – “Earhart Soars” – “A triumph”
那太好了 可我正和我妈妈在一起呢
That’s awesome, but right now I’m with my mom
♪ 生日快乐 亲爱的妈妈 ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear Mom ♪
今天是她的生日
It’s her birthday – Oh!
他们喜欢我的电影
They love my movie!
那些评论多好啊
How great were those reviews? – I know. I know
我知道
除了《芝加哥太阳报》的 伊丽莎白·佩姆布鲁克
Oh, except for Elizabeth Pembrooke of the Chicago Sun – Times
不知道她听到别人议论她那起 明面上的性骚扰案件会作何感想
I wonder how she’d feel hearing her sexuality seems forced
很明显她是自愿的 莉兹
It was clearly a choice, Liz
我们去喝个痛快吧
Let’s go drink too much
我倒是想 但我在去迈阿密的路上 我姐姐要结婚了
I wish. I’m on my way to Miami. My sister’s getting married
再婚 但我一回来 就会带你去喝玛格丽特
Again. But I’m taking you for margaritas as soon as I get back
好的 你好好玩 – 我真为你自豪
Okay, have fun – I’m so proud of you
再见
Bye
有个开自行车店的女人
Now, there’s this woman. She owns a bike shop
她在煽动所有本地人
and she’s firing up all the natives
这… 我不明白 “中产阶级化” 什么时候成贬义词了
It’s – I don’t understand when “gentrification” became such a bad word
就是灵魂骑行嘛 又不是世纪末日
I mean, it’s SoulCycle. It’s not the end of the world. It’s
加西亚议员
I gotta take this. Sorry. Excuse me – Okay
我得接个电♥话♥ 抱歉 失陪了 – 好的
Yes, hello. How are you?
喂 你好吗
我在家 你疯了吗
I’m at home. Are you nuts?
我的电影很成功 我刚和经纪人通完电♥话♥
My movie’s a big hit. I just got off the phone with my agent
公♥司♥又多了三个投标人
There are three more bidders for the company
成功了 我们一直以来所有的梦想