替身演员（2022）

她有点梨型身材 但她的手肘挺好看的
She’s a little pear – shaped, but she has nice elbows
托尼根本配不上他
Way outta Tony’s league
拜托 他很有魅力的
C’mon! This guy’s a stud
总分10分 我打3分
From 1 – 10, I’d give him a 3. And I’m being generous
我算大方的了
我们的工作不怎么讨女人喜欢
And our job doesn’t exactly impress the ladies
好了 他不是布拉德·皮特
OK, he’s no Brad Pitt
他是有点瘦
And he’s a little skinny…
也没有翘臀
And he has no butt…
而且 那个
And, uhh…
他的发型也不好看
And his hair isn’t helping…
但是…
but…
不行 他没救了
No, he’s hopeless
你好 欢迎光临 – 你好
Hello. Welcome – Hi
你的票 – 我马上就走
Your ticket? – I’ll just be one second
什么情况
你好
Hi
你一定是安东尼奥的老板 我经常听他说起你
You must be Antonio’s boss. I’ve heard so much about you
介意我带他去吃个午饭吗
Do you mind if I steal this one away for lunch?
你真好 谢谢
You’re a sweetheart. Thank you
我们走吧
Let’s go
这是什么情况
W – W – What’s happening here?
我们才刚开始 所以不想早早定性
Oh, it’s new. We don’t want to, um, label it
你的车很干净
You – You keep your car very clean
很不好意思让你卷进了这件事
Oh, you know, I’m so embarrassed that you got roped into this
你可以不跟我聊的 如果你不…
if you don’t… You don’t have to make small talk
不 从一个人对待车的态度
No, no, no. It’s just that you can tell a lot about a person
就能了解这个人
by how they treat their car
车平时是我助理负责照看
My assistant takes care of it
那他们照看得很好
Hmm. They do a good job
好了 一切准备就绪 我的公♥关♥给狗仔队报过信了
All right, we’re all set. My publicist tipped off the paparazzi
会有狗仔队吗
There will be paparazzi?
这个才是重点啊
That’s kind of the entire point
我是个连全家福都不想拍的人
I – I don’t even like being in family photos
你只要走进餐厅和我吃午饭就行
All you have to do is walk into the restaurant and have lunch with me
听着 我为你们这样的人停车 – 是的
Look, I park cars for people like you… – Uh – huh
而且我都可以当你♥爸♥爸了
and I’m old enough to be your father
你觉得会有人相信我们在恋爱吗
Do you think anyone will believe we’re dating?
如果你一直出汗就不会 你看着好像海豚 给你 擦掉
Not if you can’t stop sweating! You look like a dolphin. Here, towel off
拿去 把你的工作服脱掉 – 好的
Get it. And take your little uniform off – Yeah, yeah
你准备好了吗
Is your shit together?
我准备好了
My shit is together
好了
Okay
好戏要上演了
Showtime
奥利维亚 – 这里
Olivia, Olivia! – Here!
奥利维亚 这里
Olivia, right here. Right here!
奥利维亚 – 奥利维亚 这里
Olivia! – Olivia! Over here!
奥利维亚 – 奥利维亚
Olivia! – Olivia!
欢迎光临勒布伊比尔波克
Welcome to Le Bilboquet
奥利维亚 – 奥利维亚
Olivia!
这是谁 他是什么大人物吗
Who’s that? Is he somebody?
以前没见过他 文森特·罗伊斯怎么回事
Never seen him before. What happened to Vincent Royce?
我没见过什么罗伊斯先生 这位是我男朋友 安东尼奥
I’ve never met a Mr. Royce. This is my boyfriend, Antonio
安东尼奥 嘿 安东尼奥 你是演员吗
Antonio! Hey, Antonio, you an actor?
他是泊车员 – 不会吧 真的吗
He’s a valet – No, really?
真的 我厌倦了跟演员谈恋爱 他们太难搞
Yes, I’ve dated enough actors. They’re too much work
嘿
Hey, hey, hey
你真的是泊车员吗
You really a valet?
是的 我在科布拉上班
Yes, I work at Kobra
太厉害了
Awesome!
奥利维亚 – 是的 谢谢 无可奉告
Olivia! Olivia! – Yes, thank you. No comments
这里 再来一张 看这里
Yeah, right here. One more. One more. Right here. Right here
你们好 – 我很喜欢你那部以狗为主题的电影
Hi – Loved you in that dog movie
谢谢 – 那只狗是你的吗
Thank you – Was that dog yours?
你们好 – 我十几岁的女儿很喜欢你
Hi – My teenage daughter loves you
谢谢 – 是你
Aw, thank you – It’s you!
奥利维亚 再来一张
Olivia, one more?
所有人都在看我们
Everyone’s looking at us
我不喜欢 – 你会习惯的
I don’t like it – You get used to it
他们还没拍够吗
Don’t they have enough?
他们永远拍不够的 除非他们不想拍了
Oh, they never have enough, until they don’t want any
你能说点什么吗 我需要大笑
Uh, can you say something? I’m gonna laugh really hard
我不明白
I don’t understand
他说了什么 他对你说了什么
What did he say? What did he say to you?
他们会用这张照片 记者喜欢用大笑的照片
That’s the one they’re gonna run. They always use the laughing shot
艾伦小姐 你准备点餐了吗
Ms. Allan, are you ready to order?
我要个小份的碎丁沙拉
I’ll have a small, chopped salad
放油醋汁 如果是黑醋汁的话 额外放到一个盘子里
Vinaigrette, unless it’s balsamic, then I’ll have it on the side
没问题 – 谢谢 比尔
Sure thing – Thanks, Bill
先生呢
Sir?
什么是…
What is the
你们这里有汉堡吗
Do you sell hamburgers here?
我们可以给你做 你想要什么口味的
Yeah, we can do that for you. How would you like it prepared?
加生菜和番茄
With lettuce and tomato, please
我说的是肉
Uh, I meant the meat
放在面包上面 生菜和番茄下面
On a bun. Under the lettuce and tomato
你想要几成熟 先生
Uh, how would you like it cooked, sir?
非常熟 熟透的那种
Very cooked. All the way through
全熟啊
Ah! Well – done
谢谢
Thank you
或许你还是少说话比较好
Maybe the less you say, the better
好的
Okay
好的
Okay
我去洗洗手 我碰过很多钥匙 你懂吧
Ah, I’m gonna wash my hands. I touch a lot of keys, you know?
好
Mm – hmm – Yeah
打扰一下 能给我倒点水吗
Excuse me. Can I get some more water?
不 其实我是…
Uh, no, actually, I’m
我等续杯都等五分钟了
I’ve been waiting for a refill for five minutes
来了
There you go
总之 我给她打了电♥话♥ 她却一直没回
So, anyways, I called her. She never called me back
打扰一下 续杯
Excuse me? Refill
太好了 我也要续杯
Oh, great! I need a refill too
打扰一下 你好 你能去帮他续杯吗
Excuse me. Hi. Yeah. Can you do that for him?
这里
Over here
喂 添水
Yo! Agua
你只吃那一点吗
Is that all you’re eating?
星期六是我的首映式
My premiere’s on Saturday
我要挤进去一件非常难穿的衣服
I have a very unforgiving dress to squeeze into
所以这是我唯一能吃的非流质食物
so this is pretty much my last non – juice meal
那个健康吗
Is that healthy?
不健康 对了 你要做我的男伴
No. By the way, you’re gonna be my date
去参加你的好莱坞电影首映式吗
To your Hollywood movie premiere?
对 如果我们一起走红毯
Yeah, if we’re seen on the red carpet together
就能破除我和文森特的谣言
um, it’ll kill any last rumors about me and Vincent
所以 我要买♥♥件礼服 对吗
So, I need to get a tuxedo, right?
我的人会为你准备
My people will sort that out for you
你确定吗
Are you sure?
我有个表弟 丘乔 他开了一家礼服出租店
I have a cousin, Chucho. He owns a tuxedo – rental store
我没有看不起丘乔的意思 但让我的人帮你搞定吧
No insult to Chucho, uh, but let my people take care of you
可他能给我一个不错的折扣
But he can give me a good discount
鞋子还有可能免费呢
And probably he will offer me the shoes for free
你的胡子能刮掉吗
How committed are we to the mustache?
你不喜欢吗
You don’t like it?
不喜欢 没人喜欢
No. No one does
再次感谢你请我吃午饭
Thanks again for lunch
哥们 你出名了 – 这么快吗
Dude, you’re famous! – Already?
“女演员和泊车员” …
“The Actress and the Valet” …
奥利维亚·艾伦恋爱了
A Cinderella story in reverse
男版灰姑娘
你简直就是传奇 我也将作为你的好朋友名垂千古
You’re a legend! And I’ll go down in history as your best friend
你和她上♥床♥没
Have you had sex with her? No, don’t tell me if you had sex with her
不 别告诉我你有没有和她上♥床♥