纪念品：第二部分（2021）

还有 你知道…
And also, with you, you know,
你在学校拍电影的事
making the film at school,
我不知道他们是不是知道
which I don’t know whether they know about,
但你的家人肯定知道
but I’m sure your family obviously knows about.
我觉得你这么做很勇敢
It’s, you know… It’s a brave thing to do and…
我觉得…我想说
I mean, you know, I think, I don’t think you can…
你经历的事不管在人生的
What you’ve gone through at any stage,
任何阶段 任何时点
at any point of your life,
发生这样的事都是让人无法想象的
if this was to happen, would be unimaginable.
而你在这么年轻的时候就遇到了这样的事
So for it to happen at such a young age
我觉得你不应该…
and particularly, I don’t think you can…
你不用这样对自己
You just can’t do that to yourself.
这对你自己不公平
It’s not… It’s not fair to yourself.
你想再喝一杯吗
Do you want another drink?
嗯…不用了 谢谢
Uh, no, I’m fine, thank you.
你想去我家喝一杯吗
Do you want to come back to mine for a drink?
如果你有时间的话
If you have time.
今晚吗
Uh… This evening?
嗯
Mm-hmm.
我…
Um… I…
其实 我今晚要去见我的男朋友
Actually, I said I would see my boyfriend this evening.
所以今晚应该不行
Um, so I probably can’t tonight.
好吧 嗯
Okay. Yeah.
没事 我明白
No, I understand.
不好意思 我误会了
I’m so sorry, I misunderstood.
没有 没事的
No, no, no. No, no, no, it’s fine.
我说了我要…
No, I said I’d, uh…
我说了我会做饭给他
I said I would cook something.
他最近…
He hasn’t been very well…
身体不太好
Uh, for a little while now, so…
– 真不好意思 – 没事
– I’m sorry. – That’s all right.
所以我说我会做饭给他吃
Yeah, so I said I’d cook him dinner.
所以我应该要去
So I should probably do that.
嗯 你真好
Yeah. That’s really sweet of you.
不过他还没吃过呢
Ah, well, he hasn’t had it yet.
那你应该…
So, you should probably…
嗯 我该走了 没关系
Yeah, I might run. Is that all right?
– 没事 – 你确定?
– No, not at all. – You sure?
当然没事
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, completely.
– 那好 – 我们回头见
– Okay. – I’ll see you soon.
– 好的 – 谢谢
– Yeah, okay. – Thanks so much.
嗯 没事
Yeah, of course.
非常谢谢
Thank you so much.
谢谢 祝你好运
Thank you so… Yeah. Thanks. Good luck.
– 谢谢 – 祝你晚上愉快
– Thank you. – Have a nice night.
你也是 明天见
Yeah, you, too. I’ll see you tomorrow.
嗯 明天见
Yeah, tomorrow.
喂?
Hello?
你好 芭芭拉 你还好吗 怎么了
Hi, Barbara. Are you all right? What’s wrong?
他在医院吗
Is he in the hospital?
还是在家
Or is he at home?
没事 谢谢你打电♥话♥来
No, thank you so much for calling.
他能…说话吗
Can he… Can he talk?
你希望我过去吗
Do you want me to come?
你希望我过去吗 芭芭拉
Do you want me to come, Barbara?
要我去找你吗
Do you want me to come to you?
嗯 好的
Yeah, no, of course. Yeah.
谢谢你打来 没事
Thank you so much for calling. No, no, not at all.
真遗憾
I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.
好的 回头见
Okay. Bye-bye. See you soon.
我现在分不清
I’m struggling to recognize whether
我想念的是安东尼这个人
I’m missing Anthony as a whole.
就是他这个人…
That, as the person he was, a very
他是个非常强势的人
strong individual, he was.
而且他还在我的脑海中
And still is in my mind
常常出现
quite present.
还是说我想念的是
Or whether I’m missing having
有人陪伴和那种亲密感
a companion and that intimacy.
以及一个神秘的领路人
And that mysterious leader
可以…为我做决定
who… Who, you know, made decisions for me
带我去不同的地方
and took me places and… And… And…
帮你成为敢于冒险的人
Helped you be a risk taker.
不过是把握好风险的冒险者
But a controlled risk taker.
由他来把握
Controlled by him.
继续
Keep talking.
我很怀念和另一个人的亲密感
I’ve… I miss having that intimacy with someone.
而我不知道我是不是准备好
And… And I don’t know whether I’m quite ready
去接受另一个人了
to have that with someone else yet.
因为我真的很想要
Because I… I really want it.
我真的很想
I really want to be able to
和另一个人睡在一张床上
be next to someone in bed.
很想和人说话
And talk to someone who…
这人不能是我电影学校的同学
Who I don’t go to film school with.
也不能是我父母
And who’s not my parents
或安东尼的父母
or Anthony’s parents.
但你应该意识到了
But you do realize,
这一切其实就取决于你自己
you are the one who can make it happen.
你觉得我需要改变什么吗
Do you think I have to change a bit?
你不需要改变性格
Well, you won’t change character,
但你可以改变一些习惯
but you do have to change a few habits.
不只是思考方式 还有行为方式
Not only of thinking, but of being.
你在学校里就是这样的
You did it with film school.
所以在学校里 你结识了他人
And in film school, you found acquaintances.
现在 你的工作就是…工作这个词可能…
Now your job is to go… Job? That’s not quite the…
对 就是你的工作
Yes, your job.
你是人 你有生活要过 这是你的工作
You’re a human being with life to live. That’s your job.
帕特里克
Patrick.
你好 最近怎么样
Hi. Hi. How are you?
我一般般
I am middling.
– 你怎么样 – 我也一般般
– How are you? – Yeah, middling as well.
– 好的 – 嗯
– Good. – Yeah.
你的电影怎么样了
How’s your film?
我不会把它叫作我的电影了
I’m not calling it that any longer.
我被请出剪辑室了
I was invited to leave the edit.
所以…
So…
我可以拍一部他们想要的电影
I could have made their film.
但我想拍我想要的电影
But I wanted to make my film,
所以 做这个决定并不难
so it was an easy decision.
真遗憾
Oh, I’m sorry about that.
我一直想向奥逊·威斯那样
I always wanted to be like Orson Welles.
我和莉迪亚复合了
Lydia and I are back together.
真好 为你高兴
Good! Good, I’m pleased.
我一点点地折磨她
I ground her down.
她输了这场战役
She lost that battle.
不过她还在参与剪辑
Although she’s still in the edit.
好吧
Okay.
所以或许她赢了这场战争
So maybe she’s winning the war.
你的纪念影片如何了
How’s your memorial?
已经完成了
Finished now.
剪辑已经完成了
Edit’s… It’s done.
所以 现在等着毕业 看吧
So, waiting to graduate. So we’ll see.
你避免拍得过于直白了吗
Did you avoid the temptation to be obvious?
– 应该吧 – 那就行了
– I think so. – That’s all you can hope for,
– 对吧 – 嗯
– isn’t it? – Mmm.
你觉得安东尼到底有没有
Do you think Anthony did work for the Foreign Office?
在外♥交♥部♥工作
In the end?
安东尼吸毒
Anthony was a junkie.
嗯
Yeah.
– 好吧 – 要走了
– Okay. – Onwards.
我往这个方向
That’s my direction.