独奏者（2009）

好吧 我不会…
Okay. I’m not just…
等等 我不是你的孩子
Wait. I’m not your boy.
我不是山德士上校先生的孩子
I am not Mr. Colonel Sanders’s boy.
对不起 我错了 抱歉 我错了
You know, I’m sorry I was wrong. I’m sorry I was wrong.
我能照顾我自己
I can take care of myself.
我能照顾我自己 洛佩兹先生
I can take care of myself, Mr. Lopez.
我不需要你 我不需要这座城市
I don’t need you. I don’t need this city.
我鄙视这座城市 我鄙视你
I despise this city and I despise you.
如果让我再见到你
And if I ever see you again,
我就把你割裂
I’ll cut you open
把你像鱼一样开肚取肠
And gut you like a fish.
因为我是小纳撒尼尔·安东尼·艾尔斯
Because I’m Nathaniel Anthony Ayers Jr.
艾尔斯先生
Mr. Ayers.
我是小纳撒尼尔·安东尼·艾尔斯 n-a-t-h-a…
I’m Nathaniel Anthony Ayers Jr. n-a-t-h-a…
N-a-t-h-a…
N-a-t-h-a…
N-a-t-h-a…
N-a-t-h-a…
你的存在无足轻重
You’re of no consequence.
那次是我第一次犯错
So, that was my first mistake.
北岭地震 94年的时候 记得吗
The Northridge quake, ’94, remember?
我闻到了烤面包的味道
I smelled the toast.
我们在那儿待了两天
We’d been here 2 days.
还没来得及收拾东西
All our crap still in boxes.
凌晨4点的时候 地震了
And at 4:00 a. m., it hit.
天啊 那真恐怖
God, that terror.
你 我 还有托马斯 他当时9岁
You, me and Thomas. What was he, 9?
我们都蜷缩在卧室那扇门下面
All huddled under that bedroom door frame.
我跟他说那是个好兆头
I told him it was a good omen.
欢迎我们开始新生活
Welcoming us to our new life.
更好的生活
Better life.
在洛杉矶的生活
In LA.
我们该乘首班飞回费城
I should have had us on the first flight back to Philly.
我以为我在帮他
I thought I was helping someone.
他是个有天赋的人
And it was a guy who’s got a gift.
他迷失了自己的方向 我想…
He’s lost his way. I’m gonna…
难免事与愿违
Inevitably backfired.
他强烈抵触…
He’s backlashed to the…
我试图去解救他
And the very person I was trying to be
他却对我产生了敌意
Of some redeeming service to turns on me.
我成了他的敌人 你明白吗
I’m the enemy. You know?
一个陌生人
A stranger.
我不知道该怪罪谁
I don’t know who to fault.
我看不到支持他的出路
I can’t see any outcome to support.
不相信任何希望
Can’t believe in anything worthwhile.
厌倦了尝试 我放弃了 我放弃了
Done trying. I resign. I resign.
放弃了一切
From everything.
这次是…这次是真的放弃了
It’s… it’s official.
你无法阻止那场地震
You couldn’t stop that earthquake.
你无法拯救洛杉矶…
You can’t fix LA in just…
你也永远无法治愈纳撒尼尔
And you’re never gonna cure Nathaniel.
你能做的是成为他的朋友并时时相伴
Just be his friend and show up.
你行吗 需要帮忙的话叫我
Good? I’ll be right here if you need me.
…去吧 就在金店旁
…go, next to the gold store.
你明白我的意思 他想喝酒
You know what I mean. He wanted to drink and everything.
好吧 好吧 好吧 泼妇 慢点
Okay, okay, okay. Bitch, slow down.
你还爱我吗 一如既往
Do you still love me? Like you did at the start?
我的回答是肯定的
I’m saying I do.
我们白头偕老
It means you and me together forever.
所以我说我爱你
So that’s why I’m saying I do.
-我爱你 洛伊斯 -我也爱你 达利尔
– I love you, Lois. – I love you, too, Darryl.
现在把他自己伪装成…
Disguise himself now as…
他们把自己伪装成…洛杉矶在哪儿
They disguise themselves… where is Los Angeles?
克里夫兰?
Cleveland?
我们…
We…
我们拥有自己的生活 对吧
We had some life, didn’t we?
是的
Yeah.
是的
Yeah.
贝多芬的三重协奏曲 对吧
Beethoven’s triple concerto, right?
-是的 -很棒的曲子
– Yeah. – It’s a good one.
我曾经很喜欢
I liked it.
艾尔斯先生 我一会儿把你姐姐
Mr. Ayers, I’m gonna give your sister
送到宾馆
A ride to the hotel.
你不用这样称呼我 洛佩兹先生
You don’t have to call me that, Mr. Lopez.
我知道 但我想这样
I know. I want to.
我该一直这样称呼你
I should have been calling you that all along.
我对你说了恶毒的话 洛佩兹先生
I said such terrible things to you, Mr. Lopez.
我…我恨死自己了
I… I hate myself for saying those things.
朋友之间偶尔也会惹对方生气 对吧
Sometimes friends piss each other off, right?
这也是友谊的一部分
It’s part of the deal.
我无法想象 对你说了那些话后
I can’t imagine that you would want to
你还能把我当朋友
Be my friend after I said all those things.
我只是…
I just…
艾尔斯先生
Mr. Ayers,
做你的朋友是我的荣幸
I’m honored to be your friend.
“西部焦点” 由史蒂夫·洛佩兹报道
“Points West” by Steve Lopez.
一年前 我遇到了一个处于人生低谷的人
A year ago, I met a man who was down on his luck
我以为也许我有能力帮他
And thought I might be able to help him.
我不知道的是 我已经帮了他
I don’t know that I have.
是的 我的朋友艾尔斯先生不再露宿街头
Yes, my friend Mr. Ayers now sleeps inside.
他有了一把钥匙 一张床
He has a key. He has a bed.
但他的精神状态和健康状况
But his mental state, and his well-being,
并无改善 依旧不稳定
Are as precarious now as they were the day we met.
有人说我已经帮助了他
There are people who tell me I’ve helped him.
心理健康专家说
Mental health experts who say
成为某人朋友这一简单的举动
That the simple act of being
能促使他脑部发生化学变化
Someone’s friend can change his brain chemistry,
改善他的社会机能
Improve his functioning in the world.
对于这点 我不能代表艾尔斯先生发表意见
I can’t speak for Mr. Ayers in that regard.
或许我们的友谊帮助了他 也可能没有
Maybe our friendship has helped him. But maybe not.
然而 对我而言
I can, however, speak for myself.
通过目睹艾尔斯先生的勇气
I can tell you that by witnessing Mr. Ayers’s courage,
他的谦逊 以及对自己艺术天赋的坚信
His humility, his faith in the power of his art,
我学到一种尊严
I’ve learned the dignity
即忠于自己的信仰
Of being loyal to something you believe in.
并且坚持 这种尊严超越了其他一切信仰
Of holding onto it, above all else of believing，
毫无疑问 它将为你指明回家的路
Without question, that it will carry you home.
艾尔斯先生现住在公♥寓♥里
并且是兰普的成员
他坚持弹奏大提琴 小提琴 贝斯
钢琴 吉他 小号♥ 圆号♥ 鼓 还有口琴
洛佩兹先生仍旧在为洛杉矶时报写专栏
他正在学习弹吉它
洛杉矶现有9万名无家可归的人露宿街头