沉默（1963）

我和约翰打算到街对面买♥♥些吃的东西
Johan and I are going across the street for a bite to eat.
我们打算坐两点钟的火车离开
We’re leaving on the 2:00 train.
这里真热
This heat is awful.
过来，约翰
Come here, John
你还好吧？
Are you OK?
我会很快回来
I’ll be back soon.
再见
Good-bye.
给我写字板
Give me my writing things.
[给约翰的信]
TO JOHAN
[应该就是几个她学的当地词汇]
WORDS IN A FOREIGN…
她带着孩子离开了一个小时了
She’s been gone an hour, and she took the boy with her.
勃起组织
Erectile tissue.
是关于勃起和分泌
It’s all a matter of erections and secretions.
这是我死前的最后自白
A confession before extreme unction.
精♥液♥的味道让我恶心
Semen smells nasty to me.
我的嗅觉太敏感了
I have a very keen sense of smell,
当我怀孕的时候，我臭得就跟烂鱼一样
and I stank like a rotten fish when I was fertilized.
但这就是选择
It’s optional.
我是一个无法接受太多东西的女人
I didn’t want to accept my wretched role.
但现在我真太孤独了
But now it’s too damn lonely.
我们想让别人端正态度
We try out attitudes
但发觉那根本没用
and find them all worthless.
那股力量太强大了
The forces are too strong.
我是说那股黑暗力量
I mean the forces…
令人恐惧的力量
the horrible forces.
在鬼怪和精灵中间
You need to watch your step
你必须万事小心
among all the ghosts and memories.
我只是在絮叨
All this talk…
不需要再去讨论孤独了
There’s no need to discuss loneliness.
那只是浪费时间
It’s a waste of time.
把写的东西给我
Give me my writing things.
我告诉你，我现在感觉好多了
I’m feeling much better now, let me tell you.
你知道我得了什么病吗？
Do you know what my condition is called?
是欣快症
Euphoria.
和我爸爸得的病一样，他会突然就大哭起来
It was the same with Father. He would laugh and joke.
然后他会看着我
Then he looked at me.
他会说“伊斯特，这就是来生”
“Now it’s eternity, Ester,” he said.
虽然他块头很大
He was so kind.
但他是个友善的人
Though he was such a big, heavy man.
他的重量超过了四百磅
He weighed nearly 440 pounds.
我真想看看那个抬他棺材的人长什么样
I wish I’d seen the men who had to lift his coffin.
我累了
I’m so tired.
不，我不想就这样死去
No, I don’t want to die like this.
我不想窒息至死
I don’t want to suffocate.
太可怕了，现在我好害怕
Oh, that was horrible. Now I’m frightened.
吓坏我了
That scared me.
我不应该变成那个样子
That mustn’t happen again.
医生呢？我要孤单地死去吗？
Where’s the doctor? Must I die all alone?
妈妈
Mother.
我病了
I’m ill.
妈妈，来帮帮我
Mother, come and help me.
我好害怕
I’m so frightened.
我不想死
I don’t want to die.
别害怕
Don’t be afraid.
我不会死的
I’m not going to die.
过一会儿我就没事了
I’m pulling myself together.
我知道你会的
I see.
我写了那些单词给你，我承诺过的
I’ve written you a letter, just like I promised.
应该掉在地上了
It’s on the floor…
你找一下
if you can find it.
这些很重要
It’s important.
你以后会明白的
You’ll understand.
我们得快点，火车一小时后开
We have to hurry. The train leaves in an hour.
别担心
Don’t be afraid.
别担心
Don’t be afraid.
快点，约翰，你听到吗？
Hurry up, Johan. Do you hear?
你们离开是对的
It’s just as well you’re leaving.
我没有问你的意见
I didn’t ask for your opinion.
是什么？
What’s that?
伊斯特写给我的话
Ester wrote me a letter.
我能看吗？
A letter? Let me see.
给约翰的信，净是些看不懂的外文
“To Johan. Words in a foreign language.”
她真好人
Nice of her.