水形物语

was just always out of his reach…
每当他弯腰喝水的时候
and the water in the stream receded
溪水就会下降
every time he stooped down to drink.
所以我们今天会说
And so that’s why we say things today like…
“看看那些可望而不可即的派”
“Look at those tantalizing pies.”
谢谢 下次要继续光临哦
Thank you! Y’all come back now, you hear?
没错 早餐吃派
Yes, pies for breakfast.
信我的
Just trust me on this.
你们好呀 欢迎光临迪克西·道格餐厅
Hey, folks! Welcome to Dixie Doug’s.
你之前来过的 是吧
I’ve seen you in here before, right?
对
Yes.
实际上 我来过好几次了
I’ve been here a couple of times, as a matter of fact.
喜欢青柠派是吗
Partial to key lime pie?
没错 没错 要两份 打包
I am, I am. Two to go.
就听我的吧 拜托了 拜托了
Just go with it, please. Please.
我…对这东西上瘾
I, uh, it’s a craving that I indulge in.
八成对我没什么好处
Can’t possibly be good for me,
但我喜欢的都没好处
but nothing I like is.
不会 不会 这派可好了 青柠味的
No, no, it’s a mighty fine pie, key lime.
你不会就是
You wouldn’t happen to be
著名的”迪克西·道格”本人吧
the famous “Dixie Doug” himself, would you?
当然不是
Oh, heck no.
派是我们用卡车派送到全国各地的
The pies are trucked throughout the country.
他们称之为”连锁”
They call it “franchising,” see?
他们让我们使用广♥告♥ 招牌
They give us the spinners, the signage.
还有”派仔” 我们的吉祥物
That there’s “Pie Boy,” our mascot.
这不是我原本口音
I don’t talk like that.
我是从渥太华来的
I’m from Ottawa.
不可能吧
No.
完全听不出来
I completely bought it.
“这派贼棒”
“That’s-a-great-a-pie.”
那个…那个…
The… The, uh…
那个小个子 他是意大利人吗
The little… little guy, is he supposed to be Italian?
我猜是的吧
I guess so.
真是太聪明了
Well, it’s very clever.
下次要继续光临哦
Y’all come back now, you hear?
“下次要继续光临”
“Y’all come back now.”
你觉得他是真心的吗
Do you think he meant it?
他注意到了我 你…你听到了
He had noticed me. I mean, you… you heard that.
这派真难吃
This pie is rather sordid.
但别吐出来
But don’t spit it out.
下次去的时候 我们换一种味道尝尝
Next time we go, we’ll just try a different flavor.
晚点再吃 先存起来
Save it for later, put it away.
东部标准时间早上六点
6:00 a.m. Eastern standard time.
天空已经亮起来了
The skies are beginning to lighten…
随着一股凉爽的北风…
as a cool North wind rustles across…
…许多黑鬼聚集在
…groups of Negroes have been swarming
向前行进的警♥察♥周围
in front of and behind the advancing police.
老天爷 快调台 这太可怕了
Oh, dear God! Change that awfulness.
我不想看那个
I do not wanna see that.
我不想看
I do not wanna see it.
♪Pretty baby♪
这个好多了 好多了
Oh, that’s better, that’s better.
瞧瞧贝蒂
Oh, look at Betty.
老天 真是又年轻又漂亮
Oh, God, to be young and beautiful.
如果我能重返18岁
If I could go back to when I was 18…
那时候我什么也不懂
I didn’t know anything about anything,
我会给我自己一点建议
I’d give myself a bit of advice.
What would you say?
我会说”多多爱护牙齿
I would say, “Take better care of your teeth…
还要多来几炮”
and fuck a lot more.”
不不 那可是非常棒的建议
Oh no, no, that’s very good advice.
♪Pretty baby of mine♪
♪Pretty baby of mine♪
你看看这里
Will you look at this?
看啊
Look.
这个国家最聪明的一部分人
Some of the best minds in the country
在这里撒尿撒一地
peeing all over the floor in this here facility.
现在就连天花板上也有尿点子了
There’s pee freckles on the ceiling now.
他们是怎么尿上去的
How’d they get it up there?
你觉得得给他们多大个尿池才能尿准
Just how big a target do they need, you figure?
他们练习得够多了 这是肯定的
They get enough practice, that’s for sure.
我家布鲁斯特…
My Brewster…
从没有人说过他聪明 但是
no one’s ever called him a great mind, but
就连他在大部分情况下都能尿准
even he manages to hit the can 70% of the time.
抱歉 先生
Excuse us, sir.
不不不 没事的
No, no, no, that’s all right.
你们继续
Go ahead.
看来两位女士聊得很开心啊
You ladies seem to be chatting enjoyably.
私房♥话吧 肯定的
Girl talk, no doubt.
不用理我
Don’t mind me.
伊莱莎
Elisa.
看看可以 别碰
Look, don’t touch.
那根可爱的小玩意是阿♥拉♥巴马州的见面打招呼
That lovely dingus right there is an Alabama Howdy-do.
塑形手柄
Molded grip handle…
低电流 高电压 是电击赶牛棒
low current, high-voltage, electric shock cattle prod.
我叫斯特里克兰 安保人员
Name’s Strickland, Security.
弗莱明就是安保部的
Fleming’s security.
不用
Oh, no.
不用 男人要么事前洗手 要么事后
No, a man washes his hands before or after tending to his needs.
从中你可以了解一个男人
It tells you a lot about a man.
如果事前事后都洗的话…
He does it both times…
说明他性格懦弱
points to a weakness in character.
再会了
Ladies.
和你俩聊天很愉快
It was very pleasant chatting with you both.
矮个子都很坏
Short people are mean.
我从没遇见过从头好到尾的矮个子
I never met a short man that stayed nice all the way through.
绝对没有
No, sir.
全部都是背后捅刀子的小贱♥人♥
Mean little backstabbers, all of them.
也许是因为下层的空气
Maybe it’s the air down there,
氧气不够之类的
not enough oxygen or something.
救命 他在流血
Help! He’s losing blood!
救命
Help!
快走 快走
Come on, come on.
你觉得是苏联人闯进来了吗
You think the Russians broke in?
我觉得不会
I don’t think so.
就算他们真的进来了…
And if they did…
杜安做的烘肉卷也能把他们都杀死 亲爱的
Duane’s meatloaf will kill them all, honey.
枪响了两声 你听见了吗
It was two shots. Did you hear them?
好吧 三声 还有那尖叫声
All right, three. And that scream.
老天爷 这地方到底出什么事了
Lord, what ever happens in this place?
你们两个 跟我来
You two, come with me.
现在吗 弗莱明先生
Right now, Mr. Fleming, sir?
能等我们先吃完晚餐吗
Any chance we get to conclude our dinner?
马上去
Now!
见鬼了
Oh, heavens to Betsy.
我们有麻烦了
We are in a pickle.
我们麻烦大了
We are in such a pickle.
你们有整二十分钟
You will have exactly 20 minutes
让实验室恢复得干净 整洁等等
to render this… this lab immaculate, and so on and so forth.
二十分钟
20 minutes.
这么多血 这里发生什么事了
It’s a lot of blood. What went on in here?
打扫尿没问题
I can handle pee.
打扫屎没问题
I can handle poo.
但是血
But blood…
血让我觉得不舒服
Blood just does something to me.
来 亲爱的 帮我把这里拖干净
Here, hon. Help me mop it up.
我们越快离开这越好
The sooner we get outta here the better.
那是油炸土豆丸子吗
Is that a tater tot?
是根手指
It’s a finger.
两根手指
There’s two fingers.
好吧 好吧
Okay, okay.
收好了 在这儿等着