刀锋（1946）

为什么？我是个通懂礼节的人
Why not? I’ve always been a man of the world.
我没有理由在我离开这个世界的时候忘了礼节
There’s no reason why I should forget my manners as I’m leaving it.
-你准备好了吗？ -嗯
– Are you ready? – Yes, Elliott.
艾略特·谈波登先生很遗憾…
Mr. Elliott Templeton regrets…
…他不能接受…
…he cannot accept…
…诺瓦玛利公主的盛情邀请…
…Princess Novemali’s kind invitation…
因为…
…owing…
…他先与…
…to a previous engagement…
…他的上帝…
…with his blessed Lord.
打扰了，夫人，达雷尔先生想知道司机能否送他去车站
Pardon, madame, but Mr. Darrell wishes to know if the chauffeur might drive him to the station.
-车站？他要走了吗？ -是的，夫人，十点半，去巴黎
– The station? He’s leaving? – Yes, madame, at 10:30 for Paris.
但他没说呀
But he didn’t say.
可以，当然可以
Yes. Yes, of course.
他又要走了
Leaving?
-他要回美国了 -真的吗？
– He’s going to America. – Oh, really?
这多好啊
How wonderful.
他大算搭一艘货船慢慢过去
He’s going to work his way back on a tramp steamer.
随他的便，这并不重要
He would do that. But it doesn’t matter.
只要他回去，我就能常见到他了
At least he’ll be home. I’ll see him.
我要是你就不会那么做
I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
但你不是我
But you’re not me.
我这辈子都在做别人希望我做的事
All my life, I’ve done the things other people have wanted me to do.
从现在开始，我打算做我想做的事了
From now on, I intend to do the things I want to do.
我打算尽可能多地和拉里见面
I intend to see as much of Larry as I possibly can.
-这可能会给你带来很多痛苦，亲爱的 -我知道，但痛苦才是天堂
– It may cause you a lot of pain, my dear. – I know, but it’s a pain that’s heaven.
哦，约瑟夫，告诉马塞尔不用开车了
Oh, Joseph. Tell Marcel not to bother about the Rolls.
-我开车送你去车站，拉里 -太好了，谢谢
– I’ll drive you to the station, Larry. – Fine, thank you.
-你又要上路了 -是的
– You’re on your way again. – Yes.
很抱歉我不能留下来参加葬礼，我得去赶船
I’m sorry I can’t stay for the funeral. I have to catch a boat.
-这么说你终于要回美国了？ -是的
– So you’re going back to America at last. – That’s right.
那你什么打算？
And what are you going to do?
我想我可能会在工厂或汽车修理厂找份工作
I thought I might take a job in a factory or a garage.
我一直挺喜欢机器的
I’ve always liked machinery.
当我在洗车或修理化油器的时候…
And when I’m washing a car or tinkering with a carburetor…
…我的思想是自♥由♥的，而且有一种成就感
…my mind’s free, and I feel I’m accomplishing something.
再之后呢？
And after that?
我也不知道
I don’t know.
-我可能会买♥♥辆出租车 -出租车？
– I might buy a taxi. – A taxi?
为什么不呢？多好啊，总是在路上，还会遇到很多不同的人
Why not? It’s a good life, always on the go. You meet a lot of people.
我的天，拉里，你需要的是一个心理医生
Oh, Larry, for heaven’s sake. What you need is a good psychiatrist.
我时常会觉得你疯了
Sometimes I think you’re completely out of your mind.
看看你这辈子都干了些什么，对我♥干♥了些什么
Just look what you’ve done with your life. And with mine!
你到底想证明什么？
What in heaven’s name are you trying to prove?
我希望你能和我们一起回美国
I’d hoped you’d come back to the States with us.
格雷又要做生意了，他会很需要帮助的
Gray’s going into business again, and he’ll need help he can get.
你简直不知道你为他做了什么
You’ve no idea what you’ve done for him.
他昨天才又提起这件事，你看不到他的变化，但我可以
He spoke of it again only yesterday. You can’t see the change, but I can.
你在他身边的时候，他就变得跟以前一样了
When you’re around, he’s different, much like his old self.
-格雷很好，他不需要我 -万一他需要呢？
– Gray’s all right. He doesn’t need me. – But suppose he does?
假如又出了问题，他又崩溃了怎么办？
Suppose something goes wrong again and he has another breakdown?
你无法想象他之前经历了什么
You can’t imagine what he went through the last time.
不仅仅是头痛或神经紧张，他病了，病得很重
It wasn’t just a matter of headaches or nerves. He was sick, really sick.
我从来没告诉过任何人…
I’ve never told this to anyone before…
…但那段日子，我们每分钟都盯着他
…but for months and months, we watched him every minute.
对他来说不仅仅是他的钱和他父亲创立的公♥司♥没有了…
It wasn’t just losing his money and the business his father had built.
更重要的…
It was more.
他还为那些把积蓄托付给他的小人物的遭遇而自责
He blamed himself for all the things that happened to those little people who trusted him with their savings.
我真的觉得，如果不是为了孩子们…
I honestly believe if it hadn’t been for the children…
…他会自杀的
…he’d have killed himself.
这并不意外，伊莎贝尔
Well, there’s nothing so surprising about that, Isabel.
我敢说没有哪一个人活着没有过这种感觉
There isn’t a man or woman living today who hasn’t felt that way at least once in their lives.
生命中最美妙的事情就是我们大多数人都有第二次机会
The wonderful thing about life is that most of us get a second chance.
我有了第二次机会…
I got a second chance…
…就在我觉得没有什么值得活下去的时候
…right at the moment when I thought there was nothing worthwhile living for.
你知道看到另一个人为你放弃生命意味着什么吗？
Do you know what it means to see another man give up his life for you?
你知道吗？
Do you?
你知道当你晚上走在街上…
Have you ever thought what it is to walk the streets at night…
却意识到走在这里的本该是另一个人的感觉吗？
…knowing that you’re walking in another man’s shoes?
我们能活着…
That someone deliberately died…
是因为有些人替我们死了…
…so that you might go on living.
听着
Listen.
你还记得我们在芝加哥乡下的聚会聊天的那晚吗？
Do you remember that night in Chicago when we talked at the country club?
我跟你说，我觉得我可能永远都找不到自我了
I told you then that I didn’t think I’d ever find myself.
现在我还没有，完全没有
Well, I haven’t yet, completely.
我找到了一些我要找的东西
I’ve found some of the things I was looking for.
有一天我可能会找所有，但无论如何，我都会继续寻找
Someday I may find them all, but in any event, I’m going to keep on looking.
这并不容易，也不有趣
It isn’t easy, and it isn’t fun.
有很多感到徒劳和沮丧的时刻…
I’ve known moments of futility and frustration. I’ve….
但现在一切都过去了，都过去了，我现在知道前面是什么
But that’s all past now. Past and done. I know what lies ahead.
我知道我要去哪里
I know where I’m going.
格雷也一样，他在以他自己的方式和我做同样的事情，因为这是他的第二次机会
Gray, in his own way, can do the same thing because this is his second chance.
我知道他会挺过来的
And I know he’ll come through.
好吧，假设你是对的，那我呢？
All right. Suppose he does? And what about me?
难道我对你的爱什么也不是吗？
Doesn’t it mean anything to you that I love you?
我只爱过你…
That I’ve never loved anybody else but you?
我的孩子可能是你的孩子，这些对你来说没有任何意义吗？
That my children might’ve been your children? That–?
我有机会的时候为什么没有嫁给你？
Oh, why didn’t I marry you when I had the chance?
我本来可以的，你知道的
I could have, you know I could have.
在巴黎，你准备为我放弃一切愚蠢想法的那晚
That night in Paris, you were ready to give up all this foolishness for me.
如果我清醒一点，我就能救你了
If I’d had brains enough, I could’ve saved you.
但我没有，我把你赶出去了，我还觉得自己很高尚呢，记得吗？
But no, I threw you out! I thought I was being so noble, remember?
看着我，拉里，你知道你也爱我
Look at me, Larry. You know you love me.
你知道你一直都想要我
You know that you’ve always wanted me.
说，这是真的，说你知道你爱我
Say it’s true. Say you know it’s true.
拉里，我爱你
Oh, Larry, I love you.
我真的好爱你
I love you.
答应我你会跟我们一起回去
Promise you’ll come back with us.
答应我
Promise you will.
跟我说说索菲吧，伊莎贝尔
Tell me about Sophie, Isabel.
索菲？
Sophie?
索菲怎么了？
What about Sophie?
那天下午她去你公♥寓♥，她喝酒了吗？
That afternoon she came to your apartment, did she have a drink?
-是 -Perzovka？
– Yes. – Perzovka?
你怎么知道的？
How did you know?
她居然点了这么陌生的利口酒，你不觉得奇怪吗？
Isn’t it strange that she should’ve asked for such an unfamiliar liqueur?
她没有要我给他任何东西，她是喝的
She didn’t ask for anything. She just helped herself.
我当时得去牙医那里接我女儿
I had to pick up my daughter at the dentist.
我回来的时候，她已经走了，酒瓶子也空了
And when I returned, Sophie was gone and the bottle was empty.
当你发现索菲不见了瓶子也空了，你不惊讶吗？
When you found Sophie gone and the bottle empty, weren’t you surprised?
我以为她等烦了
I thought she got tired of waiting.
至于那个空瓶子，我还以为是管家喝光的
When I noticed the bottle, I thought the butler drank it.
我差点就责问他了
I very nearly spoke to him about it.
你从来都不擅长撒谎，伊莎贝尔
You never were a very good liar, Isabel.
你不相信我
You don’t believe me.
从来都没有
Not for a moment.
那就不要信
Then don’t.
好吧，如果你想知道真♥相♥，是我♥干♥的，而且我还会再干一次的
All right, if you want the truth, I did it, and I’d do it again.
我已下定决心不让她跟你结婚了，没人阻止你们
I was determined to prevent her marrying you. Nobody else would do a thing!
他们不在乎，但我在乎，拉里，你们真是太蠢了
They didn’t care. I did! Oh, Larry, you men are such fools.
我知道她迟早会再一次崩溃，这是注定的
I knew that sooner or later, she’d break down. It stuck out a mile.
你也看到她在丽兹酒店有多难受了，我就知道她会忍♥不住的
You saw how jittery she was at the Ritz. I knew she’d give her soul for a drink.
当时艾略特舅舅把这酒吹上天了，我就产生了这个想法
The idea came when Uncle Elliott made such a fuss about the stuff.
我并不觉得好喝，但我就是装给她看的
I hated it, but I pretended it was wonderful.
我知道如果她有机会，绝不会拒绝的
I knew if she had a chance, she’d never resist.
所以我要送她婚纱
That’s why I offered her a dress.
我下定决心如果索菲不碰那瓶酒
I made up my mind that if Sophie hadn’t touched the bottle…
…我会尽力和她做朋友的
…I’d make the best of things and try to be friends.
真的，我发誓
That’s true, I swear it!
当我回来的时候，看到瓶子空了…
When I came back, saw the bottle was empty…
…我就知道我是对的
…I knew I’d been right all along.