假结婚（2009）

不要生儿毯
Oh, god, not the baby maker.
解释一下
Explain yourself please.
– 我解释一下? – 对 你解释一下
– explain myself? – yes, explain yourself.
– 我刚才在外面 – 真的吗
– I was outside. – oh, really?
– 那刚才怎么没回应 – 我在听歌♥
– you didn’t hear me? – I was listening to…
你在家里搞什么
What are you even doing home?
你突然跳了出来 是怎么回事
Then you just, jump me out of nowhere? what’s that?
我不是故意的
I di… I didn’t mean to jump you.
你的狗想咬我 我就撞到你了
Your dog was attacking me, and I had to run, and I ran into you.
你跟狗是怎么回事
What is it with you and this dog?
我只是…
Just, you know, just… go.
– 走开 – 很好
– go… – fine.
– 去洗个澡 你身上味儿好大啊
– go take a shower. you stink. – fine.
– 纹身很不错 我看见了 – 什么?
– nice tattoo, by the way. – what?
看见狗了吧
See? see? exactly. you see that?
它真是太淘气了 到处乱跑
Oh… barely made it out with my life there.
看见狗的牙齿了吗
See the size of the teeth on that thing?
我没有
I didn’t…
你刚才什么都没穿
So… so naked.
我们能不能不说这个
Can we, uh, not talk about that, please?
只是说说
Just sayin’.
你跟你♥爸♥爸的协议是什么
So, uh, what’s the deal with you and your father?
问题不是协议
Ooh, I’m sorry. that question is not in the binder.
是吗 你不是说
Oh, really? well, I thought you were the one that said
我们需要弄清楚…
We needed to learn all this…
不是那个 我没有
Not about that, I didn’t.
– 但是如果有人问我们 – 跟那个无关 马格瑞特
– but if the guy asks us… – not about that, margaret.
晚安
Good night.
– 我喜欢那种心灵相互感应的感觉 – 什么
– I like the psychic network. – what?
不是那样 ” 哈哈 没那么有趣 她喜欢那种垃圾”
Not in the “ha-ha, isn’t that funny, she likes that trash”
那种我非常喜欢的
Kind of way. I actually quite enjoy it.
我六年级的时候学过迪斯科
I took disco lessons in the sixth grade.
我听的第一场音乐会是rob base & d.j. e-z rock(某牛逼乐队)
My first concert was rob base & d.j. e-z rock.
布莱恩·丹尼真是很性感
I think brian dennehy is sexy.
我不喜欢温室里的花
Don’t like flowers in the house,
因为他们总让我想到葬礼
’cause they remind me of funerals.
我从不玩电子游戏
Never played a video game.
每年圣诞我都会读”呼啸山庄”
I read wuthering heights every christmas.
这是我最喜欢的书
It’s my favorite book.
18个月没跟男人睡过觉了
Haven’t slept with a man in over a year and a half.
我跑进浴室里哭泣
And, uh… I went to the bathroom and cried
在鲍勃叫我恶毒的婊♥子♥之后
After bob called me a poisonous bitch.
关于那个鸟的纹身
And the, uh, bird tattoo?
是燕子
They’re swallows.
是我16岁 父母死的时候刺的
Got them when I was 16… after my parents died.
那时候很傻很天真
Stupid.
经历了那么多事情
I’m sure there’s many many other things,
到现在能想起来的也就这么多了
But that’s all I can come up with right now.
还在听吗
You, uh, there?
在呢
I’m here.
在想你说的话
Just processing.
你真的18个月没跟男人睡过
You really haven’t slept with anyone in 18 months?
听了这么多 你只得到这些?
Oh, my god. out of all that, that’s all you got?
时间真长
That’s a long time.
嗯 我有点忙
Yeah, well, I’ve been a little busy.
谁是
Who’s, uh…
– rob base and d. j… – e-z rock?
– rob base and d. j… – e-z rock?
– 他们非常棒
– no. they were good. – mm-mm.
– 什么? – 没什么
– what? – nothing.
我知道他们 只是想听你唱出来
I know who they are. I just wanted to hear you sing it.
– 马格瑞特 – 什么?
– margaret? – yes?
别想歪了
Don’t take this the wrong way.
好
Ok.
你是个很漂亮的女人
You are a very… very beautiful woman.
天哪 我唱不了那么高的音
God, I can’t sing that high.
我这是在哪?
Huh? where am i?
几点了(阿♥拉♥斯加纬度高夏季白天很长 她生物钟有些不适应)
What time is it?
几点了
What time is it?
小两口 起来吃早餐啦
Room service. breakfast for the happy couple.
安卓 安卓
Andrew! andrew!
你妈妈在门口 快起来
Your mother’s at the door. get up!
– 起来 到床上来
– get up here! your mother’s… – oh, god.
等一下
Just a second!
– 不是育儿毯 – 好
– not the baby blanket. – ok, all right.
不是育儿毯 起来
Not the baby blanket. get it off, get it off, get it off.
等一下
– ok, all right. – wait a second. hold on.
– 怎么了 – 你怎么化了妆
– what? what? – are you wearing makeup?
什么 没有啊
What? no. of course not.
– 搞什么啊 – 好吧 搂着我
– ok, what do we do? all right. – just spoon me, spoon me…
– 啊 这是什么 – 不好意思 现在是早上
– oh, my god! what is that? – I’m sorry. it’s morning.
什么”早上”啊!(早上有一种起来很早的鸟…囧)
What do you mean, “it’s morning”?
还好吧
Are you ok?
很好 马上就好 等一下
Yep! coming. one second. yep. come on in. everything’s fine.
真恶心
Disgusting.
你压着我头发了
Ow, you’re on my hair. ok, just…
哇 真香啊
– oh, wow. – ooh, smells good.
是肉桂 面包
Cinnamon rolls.
你们这样真别扭
Oh, you shouldn’t have gone to that trouble.
你们现在是一家了
Oh, you’re family now. it’s no trouble.
我能进来吗
Hey, you have room for one more?
哇 怎么搞的像家庭会议
Wow. could we not do the brady family meeting right now?
我们刚起来
We just got up…
如果不介意的话
– yeah. …if you don’t mind.
我跟你妈妈有个提议
Your mother and I have come up with a proposition
我觉得这是个非常好的主意
And I happen to think it’s a terrific idea…
我们想让你们明天结婚
We want you to get married here tomorrow.
对 明天
Tomorrow.
– 什么 什么?
– what? what? what? – mmm-mmm. no.
反正你们也要结婚
Well, you’re gonna get married anyway,
为什么不在这儿结呢
So why don’t you get married here…
这样大家都能聚在一起
…where we can be all together,
我和你奶奶也能参加你们的婚礼
And that way grandma annie can be a part of it.
– 哦 我们 – 不
– oh. oh, we’re… – no.
不 明晚是奶奶的大寿
No. no, it’s gammy’s big birthday tomorrow night.
意义重大
Big day for her.
我们可不想弄砸了
We don’t want to ruin it. that’s you know…
我已经过了89岁的生日了 不想再过了
I’ve had 89 birthday parties, I don’t need another one.
哦 奶奶你也在
Oh, gammy.
我就盼着这样啊
It would be a dream come true for me
可以看看孙子的婚礼
To see my one grandchild’s wedding.
现在就要实现了
– a dream come true! – mmmm.
能答应吗
– so you’ll do it? – mmm-mmm.
在我咽气之前
Before I’m dead?
– 好 -好
– ok. ok. – ok.
我们会准备好一切的
Ok, we will do everything.
你们可以像我们那样 在仓房♥结婚
And you can get married like we did, in the barn.
这是个家庭传统
It’s a paxton family tradition.
– 哦 -好的
– oh, wow! – yup.
嗯 我一直都想在仓房♥里结婚
Wow! uh! I’ve always wanted to get married in a… in a barn.
这真是个征兆
– I have. – it’s a sign.
一个来自上天的安排 你们注定在一起
A sign from the universe that you’re meant to be together.
我们必须要感谢
Oh, we must give thanks, I tell you.
来来 跟我一起
Come, come. we must give thanks.
我还是不要打搅的好
Ok, I know I should leave you alone now.
我们真是很兴奋 我知道你也很兴奋
But we’re just so excited! I know you’re excited, too.
– 是有点疯狂 – 真的很激动
– it’s the craziest. – really excited.
哦 天哪
Oh, my god.
如果妈妈发现这一切都是假的
When my mom finds out that this whole thing is a sham
她不得 不得疯了
She’s gonna… she’s gonna be crushed,
奶奶也会气死的
And my grandmother’s gonna die