假结婚（2009）

What? what?
哦对了 你要晋升
Oh! the thing you said about being promoted?
天才啊 天才 他中圈套了
Genius! genius. he completely fell for it.
我是认真的
I was serious.
我面对的是25万罚款和5年大牢
I’m looking at a $250,000 fine and five years in jail.
后果很严重 你知不知道
That changes things.
-升你做编辑 没门 -那我退出 你也完蛋了
– promote you to editor? no, no way. – then I quit, and you’re screwed.
再见 马格瑞特
Bye-bye, margaret.
-安卓 -这样的结果
– andrew! – it really has been
-真是不错啊 -安卓 安卓 好吧
– a little slice of heaven. – andrew, andrew! fine, fine.
我让你当编辑
I’ll make you editor. fine.
要是你周末带我去阿♥拉♥斯加 然后应付好移♥民♥面试
If you do the alaska weekend and the immigration interview,
我就升你做编辑 高兴了吧
I will make you editor. happy?
-别推到两年之后 马上 -好吧
– and not in two years. right away. – fine.
你会出版我的作品
And you’ll publish my manuscript.
第一版1万册
Ten thousand copy first…
第一版2万册
Twenty thousand copies, first run.
我们会把结婚的消息告诉家里
And we’ll tell my family about our engagement
时间和方式我来定
When I want and how I want.
现在 温柔的问我
Now, ask me nicely.
温柔的问你什么
“ask you nicely” what?
温柔的问我愿不愿意娶你 马格瑞特
Ask me nicely to marry you, margaret.
-那是什么意义 -你知道的 跪下
– what does that mean? – you heard me. on your knee.
好吧
Fine.
-这样行吗 -我很满意
– does this work for you? – oh, I like this. yeah.
-你会娶我吗 -不会
– will you marry me? – no.
说得认真点
Say it like you mean it.
– 安卓 – 什么事 马格瑞特
– andrew? – yes, margaret?
– 亲爱的安卓 – 听着呢
– sweet andrew? – I’m listening.
为了我们的幸福 你能娶我吗
Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me?
虽然对你的挖苦很不爽 不过我还是会娶你的
Ok. I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, but I’ll do it.
-明天机场见 -很好
– see you at the airport tomorrow. – good.
这些是移♥民♥局要问的问题
So, these are the questions that ins is gonna ask us.
好消息是我非常了解你
Now, the good news is is I know everything about you,
坏消息是你只有四天
But the bad news is that you have four days
来了解我的一切 所以你得加紧学习了
To learn all this about me. so, you should… probably get studying.
这些关于我的问题你都知道
You know all the answers to these questions about me?
-很可怕吧 -有点
– scary, isn’t it? – a little bit.
-我对什么过敏 -松子
– what am I allergic to? – pine nuts.
加上所有的人类情感
And the full spectrum of human emotion.
这个 真好笑
Oh, that’s… that was funny.
-哈哈 -嗯
– mmm-hmm. – umm…
这个比较难 我身上有疤吗
Here’s a good one. do I have any scars?
我很肯定你有纹身
I’m pretty sure that you have a tattoo.
你很肯定吗
Oh, you’re pretty sure?
非常肯定 两年前的皮肤医生打电♥话♥来
I’m pretty sure. two years ago, your dermatologist called
问了关于q开关激光器的问题
And asked about a q-switched laser.
当然我搜了q开关激光器
I of course googled a q-switched laser
就发现那是除纹身的
And found that they in fact do remove tattoos.
不过你取消了预约
But you canceled your appointment.
什么样的纹身 部落款的
So what is it? tribal ink?
日本书法 还是带刺的铁丝网
Japanese calligraphy? barbed wire?
很高兴能以这种方式和你交流
You know, it’s exciting for me to experience you like this.
谢谢 不过你还得告诉我纹身在哪
Thank you. you’re gonna have to tell me where it is, though.
-我不会说的 -他们会问
– no, I’m not. – they’re gonna ask.
那个问题结束了 不再提了
We’re done with that question. we’re done with that question.
下面是另一个 我看看 我看看
On to another question. let me see, let me see.
这有一个 我们住在哪 你家还是我家
Oh, here’s one. whose place do we stay at, yours or mine?
这个简单 我家
That’s easy. mine.
为什么不住我那
And why wouldn’t we stay at mine?
因为我住中♥央♥公园西路
Because I live at central park west.
你呢 也就是个脏兮兮的小公♥寓♥吧
And you probably live at some squalid little studio apartment
堆着一摞摞发黄的旧书
With stacks of yellowed penguin classics.
女士们先生们 请系好安全带
Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts.
我们将降落在朱诺[美国阿♥拉♥斯加州首府]
We are beginning our descent into juneau.
朱诺 我们不是去斯塔卡吗
Juneau? I thought we were going to sitka.
-是的 -我们怎么去斯塔卡
– we are. – how are we getting to sitka?
哇
Whoa.
这下好了 我们来了
All right. here we go.
-他在那呢 -安卓
– oh, there he is! – andrew!
请走这边
Hi. right this way…
-大家好 -哦
– hi! – oh…
-见到你真好 -你让他喘不上气了 格瑞斯
– it’s so good to see you! – you’re suffocating him, grace.
-过来 -奶奶
– come here. – hey, gammy.
奶奶 您身体怎么样 老爸呢
Ah, gammy. how are you doing? where’s dad?
你了解他的 总是在忙工作
Oh, you know your father. he’s always working.
别惦记他了 你女朋友呢
Never mind about him. where’s your girl?
她 在那边
Uh, she’s… right there.
-啊 -她过来了
– ah. – there she is.
也许不应该叫女孩了
I guess the word “girl” is inappropriate.
安妮
Annie.
-你好 -你好
– hi! – hello.
-马格瑞特 这是我母亲 -您好
– margaret, this is my mom. – oh, hello.
太好了 这是我奶奶 安妮
Yeah, great. this is my gammy, annie.
-很高兴见到您 -你好啊
– pleasure. – well, hello there.
是该叫你马格瑞特还是撒旦的情妇?
Now, do you prefer being called margaret or satan’s mistress?
这两种我们都听说过
We’ve heard it both ways.
其实我们听过很多版本
Actually we’ve heard it lots of ways.
她开玩笑的
She’s kidding.
哦 好的
Oh! oh… ok.
非常感谢你们能
Thank you so much for…
让我和全家共度这个周末
Allowing me to be a part of this weekend.
欢迎你 我们很激动
Oh, you’re welcome. we’re thrilled to have you.
大家一起会城♥堡♥吧
Let’s get you two back to the fort.
-好的 -哦
– ok. – oh…
-见到你真高兴 -我们走咯
– it’s so good to see you. – there we are.
A·派克森
安卓
Andrew…
安卓 安卓
Andrew. andrew!
请别这么吓人
Please, don’t do that.
你没跟我提过这些家族产业
You didn’t tell me about all the family businesses, honey.
可能他太谦虚了 亲爱的
He was probably just being modest, dear.
这样
Oh.
我们在干嘛 现在不是应该去酒店了吗
What are we doing? shouldn’t we check into our hotel right now?
我们把你的预订取消了
Oh, we canceled your reservation.
家人来了怎么能住酒店
Family doesn’t stay at a hotel.
你当然住我们家了
You’re gonna stay in our home.
太好了 太好了
Oh, great! great.
-什么 -天
– What? – God.
你得自己拎了
You’re gonna wanna use your legs to lift that one.
安卓 帮帮她
Andrew! Help her with those.
我也想 可她什么事都不让我做
I’d love to, but she won’t let me do anything.
她坚持事事亲为 她有点…
She insists on doing it all herself. She’s one of those…
女权主义
She’s a feminist.
快点 亲爱的
Come on, sweetie.
看到那女人穿的鞋了吗
You see the shoes that broad was wearing?
这是最后一包了
This is the last of ’em.
-赶快捞起来 -捞到了
– Five second rule. – Got it!
很快就会干了
That will dry right off.
我不要上那船
Psst! psst! I’m not getting on that boat.
你可以不上 那就过几天见吧
You don’t have to. See you in a few days.
你知道我不会游泳的
Psst! You know I can’t swim.
所以坐船啊
Hence, the boat.
来吧
Come on.
来吧 我们走了
Come on. Here we go.
看清楚点 老板 慢慢来
Looking good, boss. Take your time, though.
她带了很多行李
She comes with a lot of baggage.
帮帮你吧
Just gonna give you a little hand here.
把手从我屁♥股♥上拿开 拿开
Hand off ass! Off ass!
到了 到了
There you go. You’re there.
恭喜 我已经老到100岁了
Congratulations. I’m a hundred years old now.