假结婚（2009）

为什么 为什么你气喘吁吁的
Why are, why are you panting?
因为我刚跑过来的
Because I’ve been running.
-是吗 从阿♥拉♥斯加吗 -我要跟你谈谈
– Really. From Alaska? – I need to talk to you.
这样啊 我现在没时间聊天
Yeah? well, I don’t have time to talk.
我要赶5:45的飞机去多伦多
I need to catch a 5:45 to Toronto.
-马格瑞特 -我要这些盒子今天就寄出
– Margaret. – I need the boxes to go out today.
我想要确保每件事都…
I want to make sure everything is…
马格瑞特 别说了
Margaret! Stop talking!
我要说些事
Gotta say something.
-好吧 -只花几分钟
– Ok. – This will just take a sec.
好吧 什么
Fine. What?
三天以前 我憎恶你
Three days ago, I loathed you.
我曾梦到你被出租车撞死
I used to dream about you getting hit by a cab.
或者中毒死
Or poisoned.
-哦 太好了 -我叫你别说话
– Oh, that’s nice. – I told you to stop talking.
然后 我们在阿♥拉♥斯加经历了一些事
Then we had our little adventure up in Alaska
情况开始变了
And things started to change.
变化发生在我们接吻的时候
Things changed when we kissed.
在你告诉我你的纹身的时候
And when you told me about your tattoo.
甚至在我们光着身子撞到的时候
Even when you checked me out when we were naked.
光着身子?
Naked?
我什么也没看到
Well, I didn’t see anything…
你看到了
Yeah, you did.
但是我一直没发现 直到我一个人
But I didn’t realize any of this until I was standing alone.
站在礼堂里 没有新娘
In a barn… wife-less.
现在你可以想象一下我的失落
Now, you can imagine my disappointment
当我慢慢了解这些变化
When it suddenly dawned on me
我深爱的女人将被赶出这个国家
That the woman I love is about to be kicked out of the country.
所以 马格瑞特
So, Margaret.
嫁给我
Marry me.
因为我喜欢和你约会
Because I’d like to date you.
相信我 你不是真的想和我在一起
Trust me. You don’t really want to be with me.
不 是真的
Yes, I do.
看 问题就在于 这就是为什么
See, the thing is, there is a reason why
一直以来我都一个人
I’ve been alone all this time.
我习惯这样了
I’m comfortable that way.
如果我们忘了所有发生的这一切 然后我离开
And I think it would just be a lot easier
事情就不会这么复杂了
If we forgot everything that happened and I just left.
你是对的
You’re right.
那可能会简单点
That would be easier.
-我害怕 -我也是
– I’m scared. – Me, too.
难道你不该跪下或怎样吗
Aren’t you supposed to get down on your knee or something?
我会把这话就当作你接受了
I’m gonna take that as a “yes.”
好吧
Oh, ok.
让她看看谁是老大 安卓
Yeah! Show her who’s boss, Andrew!
好吧 来看看我说的对不对
So, let me see if I’ve got this right.
你们两个又订婚了
You two are engaged again.
-是的 -是的
– Yes. – Yes.
真的?
For real?
-是的 -是啊
– Yes. – Yeah.
你们肯定要进行到底?
You’re sure you want to go through with this?
因为只要一个答案是错误的
Because one wrong answer…
你们就会被判欺诈
I’m gonna take you down.
-好的 -好的
– Ok. – Ok.
那我们开始吧
Let’s do it.
你们的第一次约会是什么时候
When did you first start to date?
上周
Last week.
-感觉如何? -目前为止还很棒 谢谢
– That going well? – So far it’s great. thank you.
安卓用什么除味剂
What kind of deodorant does andrew use?
男用速效除味棒?
Men’s speed stick?
什么味的? 麝香? 阿尔卑斯?
What flavor? Musk? Alpine?
是一见钟情吗
Was it love at first sight?
不是
No.
我一开始就喜欢她
I loved her from the beginning.
马格瑞特睡床哪边?
What side of the bed does Margaret sleep on?
她睡左边
She sleeps on the left.
你睡床的哪边?
What side of the bed do you sleep on?
看 他们的感情非常深吗
Look, are they soul mates?
他们会彼此殉情吗? 不
Uh… will they kill each other? no.
你是个好司机吗
Are you a good driver?
出色的司机 出色的
Oh, excellent driver. Excellent.
按我的想法 她可能更适合
In my mind I see her with someone perhaps…
更黑一点的
…more swarthy, darker.
我们不在凯文边上提马格瑞特这个词
We don’t use the word “Margaret” around Kevin.
它还是对她友善不起来
He still hasn’t warmed up to her.
马格瑞特
Margaret.
马格瑞特
Margaret.
看 这是最奇怪的事了
See? it’s the damnedest thing.
我从没在他面前放过屁
I have never farted in front of him.
以后我也不会在他前面放屁
Nor will I ever fart in front of him.
她睡觉的时候放屁
She farts in her sleep.
你觉得马格瑞特舞跳的好吗
Would you consider Margaret a good dancer?
你可以说她喝汽水
You can tell by the way she drinks her soda pop
所以她舞跳的很好
That she’s a good dancer.
怎么 怎么
Uh-huh. How, how…
汽水怎么和跳舞扯上关系的
How is the soda pop relevant to the dancing?
我不理解
I don’t understand this.
-我叫他 乖乖 -小南瓜
– I call him… puppy. – Pumpkin.
-猴子 -小花
– Monkey. – Daisy.
-老兄 -鸟人
– Kiddo. – Uh… bird.
有时候我叫他瑞克
Sometimes I call him Rick.
你怎么拼偌摩尼
How do you spell “Ramone?”
偌-摩-尼
R-a-m-o-n-e.
请你用英语再拼一次好吗
Could you do that again in english, please?
你提到的位置 我们的位置…
When you say, you know, the position in the relationship…
上还是下
Top or bottom?
你是在问我谁在上面吗
You’re asking me a question about who’s on top?
你进办公室前发过誓的
You took an oath when you walked in this office.
我没发誓 我什么时候发誓了
I did not take an oath. When did I take an oath?
劳拉应该负责这事 但她没管
Laura should’ve done that, but she didn’t.
-没事 -谁是劳拉
– That’s ok. – Who’s Laura?
你后面的那个女的 别东张西望了
She’s the girl behind you. Don’t look around.
下面哪个数字
Which of the following numbers
-不是质数? -17
– Is not a prime? – Seventeen.
对不起 先让我把数字报完
I’m sorry. Let me say the list, please.
对不起 什么?
I’m sorry?
他知道你最喜欢的颜色
He knew your favorite color.
-蓝色 -错
– Blue? – Wrong!
-红色 -不是
– Red? – No!
黑色 可能是迷彩绿?
Dark… maybe like a hunter green?
不 白色
No. White.
-白色? -好了 继续
– White? – Ok, moving on.
最喜欢的颜色是蓝色
Favorite color is blue.
当她不在家的时候 她最喜欢什么颜色
What’s her favorite color when she’s not at home?
我不知道
I don’t know.
你是这个国家的公民吗 偌摩尼?
Are you a citizen of this country, Ramone?
是的 我是公民 你疯了吗
Yes, I’m a citizen! Are you crazy?
网子里的球
What relevance a ball in a net
或者水果雪茄或一个馅饼
Or a fruit roll-up or a pop-tart
跟我和安卓的关系有什么相关的?
Has to do with my relationship with Andrew?
如果你开始过激…
If you’re getting excited…
你跟谁订婚了
Who are you engaged to?
-安卓 -很好 对了一个
– Andrew. – Very good. Got one right.
你跟谁订婚了
Who are you engaged to?
我和马格瑞特·塔特订婚了
I’m engaged to Margaret Tate.
在婚礼那天 谁会站在你身边
And on the wedding day, who will be next to you?
我将娶马格瑞特·塔特
I’m going to marry Margaret Tate.
-最终回答? -这样也行? 是的 最终的答案
– Final answer? – That work? Yeah, final answer.
这是个电视节目吗 我不明白…
Is this a game show? I don’t understand what…
这是首伟大的歌♥曲
That’s a great song.