教授

而且非常值得投资
and a wonderful investment.
实际上
In fact…
你可以把校园弄弄吗 雕塑啥的
could you do the whole campus?
-当然凭你的天赋 -去佛罗里达大学吗
– Certainly with your talent… – To the College of Florida?
那是我的职责
That’s my responsibility.
你不用担心
You don’t need to worry about that.
为你最近的出轨喝一杯
To your latest infidelity.
还有你那光荣的绿帽子
And your honorable cuckolding.
这是什么
Ooh, what’s that?
这是一颗长型白色药片
It’s a white oblong pill.
你从哪儿弄来的
Where did you get it?
我们现在是有钱的中年人了
We’re well-to-do middle-aged wasps.
想要什么药都能拿到处方 亲爱的
We can get prescriptions for anything we want, darling.
好吧
Okay.
你要是表现得好
If you behave yourself…
我就再给你个蓝色三角的
I’ll give you a blue triangular one next.
听说你很喜欢
I heard you’re quite fond of them.
说正事
Onto serious matters.
-说吧 -你心里知道
– Go for it. – And you know at heart,
我一点都不在乎你和亨利的事
I don’t give a damn about you and Henry.
你想做什么就做什么 但你必须明白
You do whatever you please. But you have to realize
从现在开始 我也会过得无拘无束
that from here on out, I’ll be living just as freely.
在我们悲剧的婚姻中
I’ve played a rather quiet role in
我一直都是默不作声的那个
the tragedy that is our marriage.
还有
and…
老实说 我受够了
quite frankly, I’m done.
是时候发泄一下 内心最原始的欲望了
It’s time that we lived a bit closer to the… primal truth of it all.
所以从现在开始 我俩想干谁就干谁
So from this point on, let us fuck who we wanna fuck.
想吃什么就吃什么
Let us ingest what we wanna ingest.
总之 只要高兴 想做什么做什么
And all in all, just do whatever the hell we damn well please.
好啊 喝一杯
Here, here.
只有一个要求
One request,
我们都谨慎一点
that we do so discretely.
尽量不要伤害到
Let us at least attempt to keep the parental damage
我们可爱的拉拉女儿
to our sweet lesbian love child to a minimum.
我打从心底里同意
I wholeheartedly agree.
很好 问题解决了
Wonderful. And the matter is settled.
理查德
Richard?
怎么了 亲爱的
Yes, dear?
我能问一下你那家伙还能用吗
Dare I ask if your equipment still works?
我也不知道
I don’t know.
很可惜 它已经休眠很多年了
I mean, sadly, it’s laid dormant for years.
如果不能用了 刚好再搞个处方药治治
But if it doesn’t, it’s just one more prescription to fill.
这个 敬我们的新生活
Here’s to, uh, our new lives.
还有你重获自♥由♥
And your new freedoms.
现在 把奖励我的蓝色药丸给我吧
Now, hand over a blue one I’ve behaved myself admirably.
他有点像 呃
He was like this, um…
一个爱上了自己表妹的17世纪的诗人
17th century poet who fell in love with his cousin and…
-爱上了自己的表妹 -我♥草♥
– …fell in love with his cousin? – Oh, shit.
你真是个混♥蛋♥
You’re such an asshole.
-怎么了 -我爸妈在家
– What? – My parents are home.
没关系的
Hey. It’s okay.
你能答应我 别评价吗
Can you promise not to judge me?
不用担心 真的
Don’t worry, seriously.
它坏掉了
It’s broken. Hmm.
我是说 整个都坏掉了
I mean, the whole thing is broken.
真是
That’s .
奥莉维亚 快看 亲爱的
Oh, Olivia. Look, dear.
-奥莉维亚和她朋友来了 -这怎么了
– It’s Olivia andhis company. – What’s going on?
你妈妈把灯弄坏了
Uh, your mom broke the lamp.
你俩还好吗
Are you all right?
当然了 亲爱的 怎么会不好呢
Yes, darling. Of course, why wouldn’t we be?
因为你俩看上去喝多了 要不就是嗑药了
Because you seem like you’re drunk or on drugs.
我们其实两样都来了点
Admittedly, we are on a bit of both.
但别让这个影响你的决定
But don’t let that influence your decisions.
哦 别听他瞎说
Oh, don’t listen to him.
只是些处方药 我是奥莉维亚的妈妈维罗妮卡
They’re just prescriptions. I’m Veronica, Olivia’s mother.
嗨 我是泰勒
Hi, I’m Taylor.
很高兴见到你
Oh, nice to meet you…
不好意思
Excuse me.
小心 亲爱的 别太激动
Careful, dear. Let’s not exert yourself.
那她一定就是
So is this… is she…
妈妈 泰勒就是泰勒
Taylor is Taylor, mother.
是啊 当然是了
Yes, yes, of course, you are.
顺便说一下 我是理查德
And by the way, I’m Richard.
-你要喝点吗 -当然 快来
– Would you like a drink? – Yes, please, come.
-一起来喝一杯 -等一下 不行
– Join us for a drink. – No, hang on. No.
你们这样太吓人了 我们走了
You’re being very creepy. We’re going.
-吓人吗 -没错
– Creepy? – Yes.
我们只是找点乐子
We’re just having fun.
走了
Come on.
嘿 很高兴见到你
Hey, well, it was very nice meeting you.
再见 很高兴认识你
Bye. Nice to meet you.
还不错啊
That was pleasant.
你觉得她俩怎么样
So how do you think that went?
1到10分的话
On a scale of one to ten,
我打4分
I’d say a four.
同意
Agreed.
我只是对自己有点失望
I’m only mildly disappointed in myself.
我感到有些羞愧
I feel ashamed. Yeah.
我们这是怎么了 理查德
What happened to us, Richard?
我们到底怎么了
What happened to us?
生活
Life.
你知道吗 就算我能回到过去
You know, if I could go back in time,
我也不知道应该挽回些什么
I don’t even know what it is I’m supposed to fix.
我能很容易想到许多事
Oh, I could readily think of many things.
我没问你
I didn’t ask you.
没错
True.
你要把我们所有的结婚礼物都弄坏了
You’re gonna break all our wedding presents.
有没有注意到它们都很空洞
Did you ever notice that they’re all hollow?
这是什么意思
Ah, what does that mean?
不用在意了
It doesn’t matter.
理查德
Richard?
怎么了 亲爱的
Yes, dear?
谢谢你帮我
Thank you for helping me.
这还用谢
Of course.
你吐的时候帮你拢住头发
Holding your hair back has
是我这辈子的荣幸之一
always been one of my life’s great honors.
我认真的
I’m serious.
从某种意义上说 我也是认真的
In ways, so am I.
你觉得奥莉维亚恨我吗
Do you think Olivia hates me?
恨
Yes.
但她也没有错
But she’s supposed to.
我不是个坏人
I’m not a bad person.
我知道 维罗妮卡
I know you’re not, Veronica.
没有人说你是个坏人
No one ever said you were.
第二章
操就要操对了
你们是相对来说比较有吸引力的孩子
Well, you are a… relatively attractive group of kids.
我意思是 我几乎看不到有软弱的人
I mean, I see a few weak chins here and there.
但是 我想这很可能是
But, uh, I think that’s probably just
因为新英格兰的良好教育
due to some fine New England breeding. Hmm?
美丽的母亲 有钱的父亲
Beautiful mother, rich father,
寒冷的冬天 类似这些
cold winter, that kind of thing.
你抽烟吗
Do you smoke?
不
No.
你看着像抽烟的人
You look like you do.
我抽烟 布朗先生
I do, Mr. Brown.
介意给我一支吗
Would you mind if I have one?
不 不介意
No, not at all.
那么
So, um…