粉红豹

克劳索
Clouseau.
想当年 我第一次听到这个名字
Yes, well, the first time I ever heard that name
克劳索还只是个无名小卒
Clouseau was just a little nobody.
一个在巴黎远郊执勤的巡警
A police officer in some little village far outside of Paris.
据我所知 他是小镇的活宝
He was the village idiot as far as I could tell.
蠢货 往前停
Idiot, pull up.
杜蒙特先生 有劳您马上挪开您的”坐骑”
Monsieur Dumont, you must move your vehicle immediately.
很抱歉 克劳索警官
I am so sorry, Officer Clouseau.
我的轮椅 它动不了
My chair, it won’t move.
问题在这里
Ah, here’s your problem.
你的电源线没有接好 让我来帮你
Your battery cable has come undone. Let me help.
让我看看 正极接到负
Let’s see. The positive to the negative.
负极接到正 搞定
The negative to the positive. There.
好了 你可以开动了
All right, you are ready to go.
清理完毕 大家动起来吧
All clear, keep it moving.
作为国家警署的总探长
As chief inspector of the Police Nationale,
对于那些”警♥察♥趣事”多有耳闻
I hear many stories of our officers in the field.
其中很多故事 还得归功于克劳索的”贡献”
Clouseau generated many, many stories.
你因为涉嫌谋杀皮埃尔·福盖而被捕了
You are under arrest for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
你因为涉嫌谋杀皮埃尔·福盖而被捕了
You are under arrest for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
你因为涉嫌谋杀皮埃尔·福盖而被捕了
You are under arrest for the murder of Pierre Fuquet.
皮埃尔·福盖
Pierre Fuquet?
结案
The case is closed.
不用说
Needless to say,
克劳索是彻底没救了
Clouseau did not qualify for any advancement whatsoever.
我从没想到他能派上什么用场
I never thought for a moment I would have any use for him
直到那个命中注定的日子
until that fateful day.
那是一个制♥造♥谋杀案的好日子
It was a perfect day for a murder.
法国对中国 获胜者晋级决赛
France against China, with the winner advancing to the finals.
我作为国家警署的总探长 应邀前去观看
I had been invited, as chief inspector of the Police Nationale.
同时也因为我刚被提名”荣誉勋章”
And because of my recent nomination for the Medal of Honor.
我已经获得过7次提名
I have been nominated seven times.
却从没获奖
I have never won.
不过 7次提名 也是很了不得的
But still, seven nominations, that’s something.
话说回来 当伊弗斯·格鲁昂特 法国队主教练
Anyway, the coach of the French team, Yves Gluant,
来到场中 像往常一样 向欢呼的群众致意
came out for his customary ovation.
他高高举起拳头
He raised his fist to the crowd.
上面戴着 粉红豹钻石
On it: The Pink Panther diamond.
它是法国队荣耀和胜利的象征
It was quite the symbol of pride and victory for the French team.
格鲁昂特那时的女朋友
Gluant’s girlfriend at that time
是国际歌♥星仙妮娅
was Xania, the international pop star.
他们的爱情可谓”风雨不断”
They had been having quite a stormy affair.
90分钟以后 双方踢成平局
By the end of regulation time the score was tied
比赛又拖进了加时赛
and the game went into sudden death.
身为一个爱国的法国公民 以及一个铁杆球迷
For a patriotic Frenchman and a true fan like myself,
实在无法接受这样的结果
it was almost too thrilling to believe.
就在那个时候…奇迹发生了
And then… the miracle.
就在那个时候 面对人头攒动的足球场
And then, in front of a stadium filled with people,
格鲁昂特 竟突然倒地
Gluant collapsed
死了
dead.
一只毒镖扎进他的脖子
A poison dart in his neck.
而那个粉红豹钻戒…
And the Pink Panther diamond…
不见了
had disappeared.
粉红豹
关于格鲁昂特的死 大小报纸一片悲恸之声
The newspapers fed on Gluanfs murder with a frenzy.
对他们来说 整个世界都停滞了
For them, the world had stopped.
对我来说
For me,
却是一个绝佳的表现机会
it was an opportunity for my greatest triumph.
我知道办这个案子的绝佳人选
I know what we need for the Gluant case.
-什么 -一个低级警官
-What? -An incompetent.
一个刻板 循规蹈矩的低能儿
An unimaginative, by-the-book, low-level incompetent
只晓得原地打转
who will plod along, getting nowhere,
任媒体跟着他跑
with the media watching his every step.
他在那里原地打转的时候
And while he is getting nowhere,
我会安排全法国 最精良的刑侦小队
I will put together the finest team of investigators in France,
擒获歹徒 追回粉红豹钻石
and we will hunt down the killer, retrieve the Pink Panther diamond,
荣誉勋章自然就非我莫属了
and then the Medal of Honor will be mine.
到哪儿去找这样的低能儿
And who is this incompetent?
我已有完美人选
Oh, I think I know the perfect man for the job.
把他带到巴黎来
Find him and bring him to Paris.
他的名字叫克劳索
His name is Clouseau.
早安 小姐
Good morning, mademoiselle.
我马上就下来
I’ll be right with you.
大♥法♥官为自己换了幅新照片
The minister of justice sent around a new picture of himself,
但那照片比总探长的要大
but it was bigger than Chief Inspector Dreyfus’ picture.
总探长于是换了幅更大的
So the chief inspector had a larger one made.
巴黎就是这么个勾心斗角的地方
You’ll find that Paris can be a very political place.
政♥治♥ 不过是给贪婪戴上了道德的面具
Ah, yes, politics. Where greed wears the mask of morality.
说得好 这话是你说的
That’s good. Did you say that?
是的
Yes, I did.
-您能扶我下来吗 -当然可以
-Could you help me down? -Oh, yes, of course.
谢谢
Thank you.
好 从这里…还是…
Oh, yes. Here, just… Perhaps…
-好 我要…-好
-Yes, I… -All right.
-稍等 -好的
-Wait. -Yeah.
不用跳 好 很好 可以了
Don’t jump. Yes, that’s good. All right.
您能不能把腿放上来…
I think if you put your leg right there…
-可以吧 -可以
-Okay. -Yes. Okay.
好了
Yes.
-我什么都看不见了 -要不到那边去
-I can’t see anything. -Maybe over here?
-好的 -好的
Yes, okay. Okay.
这里
Over here.
总探长现在要见你
The inspector will see you now.
他马上就过去
He’ll be right with you.
克劳索
Clouseau.
-克劳索 -他进来了
-Clouseau. -He’s coming in.
好的
Ah, good.
雅克·克劳索 三♥级♥警官
Officer Jacques Clouseau, gendarme, third class.
一定很痛吧
That had to hurt.
不 一点也不
No. No, not at all. No.
克劳索 叫你来是为了…
Clouseau, the reason we called you here…
今天天气真不错
It is lovely weather we are having.
真希望一直都是好天气
I hope the weather continues.
现在安全了
The area is secure.
非常感谢
Oh, thank you.
克劳索 我看过你的履历了 很明显
Clouseau, I have reviewed your records, and it is clear to me
以你的能力完全可以胜任
that a man of your talent merits greater responsibility
更高的职位
than you have had up to this point.
我决定提升你为探长
I have decided to promote you to inspector,
国家最高级别的警官
the highest rank of any officer in the republic.
-探长 -是的
-Inspector? -Exactly.
你的第一个案子 就是格鲁昂特的谋杀案
And your first case is the Gluant murder
以及粉红豹钻石失窃案
and theft of the Pink Panther diamond.
-荣幸之至 -很好
-I am honoured. -Good.
雅克·克劳索 借由法律赋予我的权力
Jacques Clouseau, by the power vested in me,
我现在任命你为探长
I hereby appoint you full inspector,
拥有以下权力…
with all of the…
好了 有劳您在这儿签个字
Here, if you would be so kind, please.
这是我的笔
Oh, here, take my pen.
谢谢
Thank you.
这样的传统法式自来水笔并不常见
One does not often see the traditional French fountain pen.
我会永远珍藏的
I will cherish this forever.
不 不是要送给你
No. It is not a gift.
这是巴黎市市长送我的
That was given to me by the mayor of Paris.
这太贵重了
Well, then,
我不能接受
I cannot accept this.
新闻发布会要开始了
The press conference.
好了 克劳索 等会儿有个新闻发布会
Ah, yes. Clouseau, there is a press conference
几分钟以后 在走廊的那头举♥行♥
in just a few minutes down the hall,
把你介绍给媒体
to introduce you to the media.
我们等会儿见了 克劳索