爱的就是你

我们喝一杯 好好放放松
We’ll have a drink. We’ll relax.
给这一天开个好头
Start this day off right.
然后我们就可以聊聊 什么让你那么烦心了
Then we can talk about whatever is bothering you.
你看 这建议真的很不错
You know, that’s really good advice.
我也许应该听你的…
And I should probably listen to it…
但你不是个真实的人
But you’re not a real person.
你知道你不是真实的
You know you’re not real.
你究竟是谁
Who the hell are you?
你究竟怎么回事 你♥他♥妈♥的是个机器人吗
What the hell are you? Are you a fucking robot?
你是个…像是个幽灵吗
Are you a…like a spirit?
因为我不得不说 简直糟糕透顶
Because I’ve got to say it’s bad enough
我把我妻子输给了 我的一个镜像
that I’m losing my wife to a mirror image of me
他刚好比我酷大概20%
who happens to be like 20% cooler
刚好比我多投入20%的感情
and 20% more emotionally involved than me.
现在我却不得不坐着
Now I have to sit
看着我失去的那个人的一个…
and look at a mirror image
…一模一样的镜像
of exactly who I’m losing.
所以 不…
So, no…
这个周末我过得生不如死
I’m having a hard time enjoying this weekend
因为这个周末我失去了我妻子
because this is the weekend I lose my wife.
所以 原谅我不想喝他妈的
So, pardon me if I don’t
含羞草鸡尾酒 明白吗
want a fucking mimosa, okay?
不只是这个周末
It wasn’t just this weekend.
你怎么知道
How do you know?
因为作为你妻子 我知道这些事
Because as your wife, I know these things.
见鬼
Shit!
啊噢
Oh.
-我停不下来 -嗷
-I can’t stop it. -Oooh!
我停不下来
I can’t stop it.
看你干的好事
Look what you did.
看你干的好事
Look what you did.
嗷
Oooh!
什么 纪念品
What? Souvenir?
消防龙头来了
Here comes the firehose.
我要把你浇灭 你着火了是吗
I’m going to spray you down. Are you on fire?
你为什么拧消防龙头
You twirling firehose.
这件运动衫哪来的
Where did you get this sweater?
什么
What?
这你从哪儿弄的
Where’d you get this?
我不知道 我一直有的
I don’t know. I’ve always had it.
-真的吗 -是啊 只是你…
-Really? -Yeah, you just…
你没注意我的衣服 我猜
what, you don’t notice my clothes, I guess.
你还记得什么时候买♥♥的吗
Do you remember when you got it?
你想谈论衣服吗
Do you want to talk about clothes?
还是想体验一把 全套的齐彭戴尔表演
Or would you rather have the full Chippendales experience?
全套体验是什么
What’s the full experience?
这个…
Well…
我觉得我身上 没带那么多现金
I don’t think I have enough cash on me.
只要把这丢在一边
You just put that away.
你不用担心那个
You don’t worry about that.
索菲 把门开开
Sophie, open the door.
快点 是我
Come on. It’s me.
我知道你在里面 和他在一起 索菲
I know you’re in there with him, Sophie.
快点 快开门
Come on. Open up!
能不能给我…稍等一下
Will you just give me…hold on one second.
索菲 快点 让我进去
Sophie, come on. Let me in.
索菲
Sophie.
我会一直敲门
I’m just going to keep knocking.
我会一直敲下去
I’m going to keep knocking.
我知道你在里面干嘛
I know what you’re doing in there.
我会一直敲下去
I’m going to keep knocking.
索菲 让我进去
Sophie, let me in.
快点啊 索菲 把门开开
Come on, Sophie. Open up.
-他在哪儿 -伊桑 你想干嘛
-Where is he? -Ethan, what are you doing?
-你在哪儿啊 -伊桑 别这样
-Where are you? -Ethan, come on.
伊桑 站住
Ethan, stop!
我要揍他个逼养的 你在哪儿
I’ll beat his ass. Where are you?
你在哪儿
Where are you?
妈的
Goddamn it.
太好了 他跑了
Good. He’s gone.
这里他妈的怎么回事
What the hell is going on in here?
他去哪儿了 看你干了什么
Where did he go? Look what you did!
我♥干♥了什么 你疯了吗
What I did? Are you insane?
是的 你干了什么
Yes, what you did.
要是他再也不回来了怎么办
What if he never comes back?
索菲 拜托
Sophie, come on.
索菲 你回来
Sophie, get back here.
索菲
Sophie.
他不是真实的 明白吗
He is not real, okay?
索菲 明明知道这是假的 你怎么能接受的
Sophie, how can you accept something that you know is a blatant lie?
你总是说 这不真实 这不真实
You keep saying it’s not real, it’s not real,
但我很幸福
but I’m happy.
我能感受到 那怎么会是假的
I’m feeling that. How is that fake?
你不觉得你这是在说胡话吗
Do you hear how insane you sound?
你不承认这很奇怪吗 一点也不觉得吗
You’re not admitting that this is just the least bit weird?
对我来说不再奇怪
It’s not weird for me anymore.
那这事如何了结
So what’s the endgame?
你打算怎样结束这场游戏
How do you see this playing out?
你是否准备周末在我们离开后
Are you going to write letters, come back
向这里写信 回来探访
and visit after we leave this weekend?
我不离开
I’m not leaving.
你什么意思 你不离开
What do you mean, you’re not leaving?
索菲 你到底什么意思 你…
Sophie, what the hell do you mean you’re…
这简直…好吧 好吧
This is…okay, all right.
索菲 别这样
Sophie, come on.
我们先冷静一下 好吗
Let’s just take a breath here, okay?
我知道你感受到了某些
I know you’re feeling something
神奇的令你颇感激动的东西
that is magical and clearly exciting to you,
但是如果你理智地 想一想 哪怕是…
but if you think about it logically, literally
…一秒钟…
for one second…
现在你还不觉得怪异吗
Is this weird for you now?
有没有人记得 孩子们在夏令营玩的…
Does anybody remember any of those fun icebreaker games
…那些好玩的”破冰游戏”…
that kids do at summer camp…
“转瓶子”又叫 “天堂七分钟”之类的游戏…
Spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven or something…
总之 我们认为是时候…
Anyhow, we just thought it was time
…让我们四个坐下来…
that the four of us sit down
…相互认识一下下了
and get to know each other a little bit.
你想相互认识一下
You want to get to know each other?
嗨 索菲
Hi, Sophie.
嗨
Hi.
好啊
Okay.
呃 那就让我们相互认识一下
Um, let’s get to know each other.
何不由你们先告诉我们真♥相♥ 这到底怎么回事
Why don’t you tell us the truth of what’s really going on?
真♥相♥
The truth?
是啊 你基本上一直在假装是我
Yeah, that you basically have been pretending to be me,
表现得好像我不存在似的
acting like I don’t exist
尽管你明明知道 我一直都在这里
even though you knew I was here the whole time.
伊桑 我没有假装是任何人
Ethan, I wasn’t pretending to be anyone.
我只是我自己
I was just being myself.
你早就知道我 对吗
You knew about me, right?
他之前有没有向你提起过我
Did he mention me to you at any point?
今天早上才提到你
Not until this morning.
好吧 也许我们所有人
All right. Maybe all of us
这个周末都有点在装模作样
were doing a little pretending this weekend.
没什么大不了的
It’s not a big deal.
我很喜欢你的鞋子
I really like your shoes.
噢 谢谢
Oh, thank you.
我很喜欢你头发 向后夹起的样子
I really like your hair pinned back like that.
超级可爱
Super cute.
不好意思 我…我仍然 不相信你们是真实的
I’m sorry. I-I-I still am not buying that you are real.