保姆日记（2007）

There’s no time now.
你该去家长会
l need you to get ready for the
出席解决保姆冲突座谈会
”Nanny Conflict-Resolution Seminar” at the Parents Society.
我忘了是今天晚上
l totally forgot it was this evening.
X太太？
Mrs. X?
我不知道你记不记得
l don’t know if you remember, but…
我本来今天晚上要休假的
l was supposed to have the evening off
我都计划好了
and l made plans.
这场座谈会每个人都要带保姆去
The entire point of the seminar is that everybody brings their nanny.
你是要我一个人出席吗？
Are you suggesting l attend it alone?
不是啦，我只是…
No, l was just… l was confused.
我搞不清楚了 我去取消约会吧
So l will cancel my plans.
谢谢你
l’d appreciate it.
谁有多带尿布可以借我？
Does anyone have an extra diaper l can use?
别再吃鼻屎啦！
Stop eating them boogers!
格雷尔，请不要脱裤子
Grayer, no nudity, please!
把小孩丢给陌生人一定会焦虑
Of course you feel anxiety when leaving your kids with strangers.
毕竟你们为人母亲
You’re moms.
好，我现在要做的
Now what l’d love to do
是介绍保姆出场
is bring in the nannies.
琳达？茱莉安？
Linda? Jilian? Would you monitor the children
请你们看好小孩，让保姆过来
so the nannies can join us in here.
下礼拜你们都要再来
l want to see you all here next week.
座谈会的主题是
Seminar is called
“性感的快乐妈咪”
”Sexy Mom, Happy Mom.”
很刺♥激♥哦
lt’s gonna be a hot one.
保姆，我们准备好了
Nannies, we’re ready!
这边请
Right this way, ladies.
她们来了
Here they are
欢迎各位保姆，太好了，请进
the nannies! Wonderful. Come on in.
靠墙排排站，挤过来一点
File against this wall. Just squeeze in.
舒服就好
But be comfortable.
好极了
Terrific.
大家都齐聚一堂
Now that we’re all together,
我来说明这场座谈会的目的
it’s time to address the reason for this seminar.
改善保姆和妈妈的沟通
lmproving Nanny-Mom communication.
首先…
To begin,
我想请一位妈妈自愿
l would like a mom volunteer…
提供大家一个
to offer the group one particular example of
和保姆沟通不良的范例
failed communication with your nanny.
保姆多半不会讲英语
Most of them barely speak English.
问题就在这儿
That’s the problem!
好，就你了
Okay, you.
我保姆一直唱宗教歌♥曲给小孩听
My nanny keeps on singing religious songs to Parker…
跟她说我们没有宗教信仰她也不理
even though l’ve told her time and time again that we’re agnostic.
更糟的是每次直接问她
What’s worse, every time l confront her,
她都矢口否认
she flatly denies it.
拿保姆监视影带证明了还是一样
Even after l provided her with evidence from the Nanny Cam.
保姆监视影带？
Nanny Cam?
我还以为那只是谣言
l thought that was an urban myth.
她就是我的保姆
That’s my nanny over there.
问她是不是想让我儿子信教
Will you please ask her if she’s trying to convert my child.
不，我们先听问题
No. Right now we’re just hearing issues.
好了，接下来要听保姆的说法
Okay. Next l would like to hear from a nanny.
有哪位保姆自愿？
Can l have a nanny volunteer?
哪位？
Anyone?
麻烦一下
别害羞嘛
Come on, don’t be shy.
我们又不会咬人
We won’t bite.
你可以吗？
How about you, young lady?
我？ -对，就是你
Me? -Yeah, you.
请你和大家分享
Can you share with the group
你工作上有什么委屈
one particular grievance you have about yourjob.
说啊
Come on.
没什么委屈
No,
我喜欢这份工作
l love my job.
真的，我满幸运的
l do. l feel kinda lucky.
太好了
That’s very nice,
但没帮上什么忙
but neither helpful nor productive.
你可以给点意见吗？说说看
So can you please offer the class something useful? Come on.
这个嘛…
Well…
怎样？
Yeah.
我想休假一个晚上
lt would be nice to have a night off, l guess.
最近为了慈善餐会有点忙
We have been a little preoccupied with our Benefit.
但只要她开口就好了啊
But all she has to do is ask.
看吧？ 冲突…解决了
See, ladies? Conflict… resolved.
我来抱他
l’m taking him.
不用，我抱就好了
No, l can take him.
没关系
lt’s all right.
不用，我抱就好了
No, l can take him.
保姆，拜托你
Nanny, please…
我要你出去玩
l want you to go out. lt’s only nine.
才9点，今晚就放你的假
You clearly wanted the evening off.
你一定累坏了，我抱他上♥床♥…
You must be exhausted. Let me put him to bed —
我可以啦
We’ll manage fine.
拿去
Here.
尽情地玩吧
Have a blast.
我真是搞不懂
l just don’t understand it.
我不懂怎么会有人
l just don’t understand how someone can have everything…
明明什么都有，却还是… 这么不快乐
and still be… so miserable.
算了啦
Anyway…
不是跟你说我去参加迎新会吗？
Remember l was telling you l went to this orientation mixer thingy?
我遇到一个男人…
l met this guy who likes the same exact —
就好像…
lt’s like
她把夫妻的问题推到我身上
she dumps all of her problems with her husband onto me.
这叫牵托
lt’s called denial.
跟台语的拖鞋同音
Like the river?
你成了她的帮凶
And you obviously have become her enabler.
这话是什么意思？
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
就是请你5分钟别讲那女人的事
lt means can you stop talking about this woman for five minutes, please.
抱歉让你无聊，但这是我的生活
l’m sorry l’m boring you, Lynette, but this is my life right now.
我也有生活，你没发现吗？
l have a life too, in case you haven’t noticed.
你和那个女人蛮像的
l think you and that lady are kindred spirits.
纽约大学应该给你文凭
You know, NYU should give you your diploma right now.
什么问题你都能回答
You’ve got all the answers.
好吧
Okay.
算了啦
Forget that.
至少狂欢一晚吧
Can we at least try to have a good time?
你大老远把我拖来这里
Since you did drag me above 14th Street.
拜托，来这种地方？
Come on, Annie. This place?
你不得不承认…
You have to admit, it’s…
太破旧了吧
tired.
你看那几个男的
Look at these guys over there.
他们没穿洞、也没刺青
They don’t have any piercings, no tattoos…
天哪！我们快走！
Oh, my God! We have to go right now!
为什么？等一下
Why? Wait a minute.
我跟你讲的那个男的也在
‘Cause the guy l told you about is here.
哈佛帅哥？
Harvard Hottie?
哪一个？在哪里？
Which one? Where?
洋基帽、蓝上衣的富家公子
Yankees cap. Blue shirt. Blue blood.
他好帅
He is gorgeous.
对啦，我们快走
Yeah. Let’s go.
你疯了吗？
Are you out of your mind?
没有，他不是我的菜
No, l’m out of my league.
走了啦
Let’s go.
你在干嘛？
What the hell are you doing?
天哪，我认识那个女的
l know that girl.
安妮！
Annie!
安妮！
Annie!
来嘛，陪他喝杯酒
Come on. Have a drink with him.
我说过做这工作不能交男友
l told you, l can’t date on my job.