骡子

伊利诺伊州 皮奥里亚
骡子
何塞
Hey, Jose.
你再继续开这破车晃悠
The way you drive around in this taco wagon,
迟早把你驱逐出境
you’d think you’d want to be deported.
好的 胆小鬼
Okay, culero.
是啊
Yeah.
欢迎来到2005年国家萱草联盟大会
他可算来了
Oh, here he comes now.
大忙人啊 厄尔
Fashionably late, Earl.
海伦啊海伦
Helen, Helen, Helen.
你看起来棒极了
You look sensational. Sensational.
此酒店禁烟
你气色也不错
You look pretty good yourself.
好久不见了
It’s been a long time.
我给你带了我们最新的品种
I brought you a little something from my latest cultivar.
你这老家伙人真好
You charming old devil.
-好漂亮 -我先签到
– This is lovely. – Yes, I’ll sign in right here.
-好了 -真不错
– Okay. – So talented.
蒂姆·肯尼迪
Tim Kennedy.
我的天
My God.
居然见到你了 我还以为你死了
As I live and breathe. I thought you were dead.
还没这好运吧
No such luck, I guess.
我跟你说
Let me tell you something.
就没有人说你是个混♥蛋♥吗 厄尔
Did anyone ever tell you you’re a bit of an asshole, Earl?
-一直有 -一直有
– All the time. – All the time.
-还有用西语的呢 -好吧
– Even in Spanish. – Yeah, okay.
女士们 你们来错地方了
Oh, ladies. You’re on the wrong floor.
三楼才是选美比赛
Third floor is the beauty pageant.
真是的 厄尔
Oh, Earl.
很简单 我侄女给我设置的
It’s literally so easy. My niece set this up for me.
就点一个按键
You just click one button
就能买♥♥任何东西
and you can buy whatever you want.
在家点鼠标
With one click from home,
我们的东西任你挑
you get a choice of everything on our line.
所有信息都能传达
All the information is sent
两天后 花就能送到你手上
and the flowers arrive to you just two days later.
第一个注册的人首单打八折
The first person to sign up gets a 20% discount off their first order.
谁需要互联网啊
Internet. Who needs it?
你瞧瞧
There you go.
厄尔·斯通的阳光草甸
-厄尔 它们真美 -是啊
– Hi, Earl. They’re beautiful. – All right.
来 这个给你
Here, you get some. And here, you take these.
谢谢你 厄尔
Thanks, Earl.
不客气 不客气
Oh, you’re most welcome. You’re most welcome.
好的女士
Yes, ma’am.
这个给你 不用客气
Here’s some. And for you. Yeah, you’re most welcome.
-厄尔 -好好好
– Earl! – Yeah, yeah, yeah.
你以为我是在分发免费伟哥吗
You’d think I’m giving away free Viagra or something.
怎么这么多人
What’s going on here?
-谢谢厄尔 -我拿一个
– Thanks, Earl. – I’ll take one, Earl!
我也拿一个
I’ll take one, too.
我… 今天有你们真是太好了
I just… A wonderful thing you’re doing here today.
厄尔 你扮的是詹姆斯·斯图尔特吗
Earl, is that Jimmy Stewart?
上世纪美国著名男演员
万众期待的时刻到了
And now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
2005年国家萱草联盟金牌得主是
The NDL 2005 Gold Medal winner is
厄尔·斯通的
Earl Stone,
阳光草甸”伊利诺伊皇家”萱草
with his Sunnyside Meadows’ Illinois Majestic daylily.
厄尔
Earl!
“伊利诺伊皇家”萱草
-再次恭喜 厄尔 -谢谢
– Congratulations again, Earl. – Thank you.
别起哄了 谢谢大家
No booing, no booing. Thank you very much.
我不作无聊的长篇大论
And rather than give a long, boring speech,
我只想给你们讲个笑话
I just wanted to tell you a little joke. And that’s…
为什么园艺家穿过了酒店大堂
Why did the horticulturist walk across the hotel lobby?
为什么
Why?
因为他想要去酒吧[达到好标准]
‘Cause he wanted to get to the bar,
我就是朝这个方向去的
and that’s exactly where I’m headed.
谢谢大家
Thank you!
他在哪儿 他会来的对吧
Where is he? He’ll be here, right?
深呼吸 亲爱的
Don’t hold your breath, honey.
厄尔外公会来的 他保证了
Grandpa Earl will be here. He promised.
我可怜的小姑娘啊
Oh, my poor girls.
没有他的影子
There’s no sign of him.
他会来的 这可是我的婚礼
Well, he’ll be here. It’s my wedding day.
我爱你 艾瑞斯
I love you, Iris, I do.
Iris也指鸢尾花
但你要面对事实
But you have to face facts.
你父亲总是以事业为重
Your father has always chose work over family.
你的受洗礼他错过了
He missed your baptism,
你的坚信礼 你的毕业典礼
your confirmation, your graduation.
数不清的生日
Countless birthdays.
更别说我俩的结婚纪念日了
Not to mention most of our anniversaries.
我有点不舒服
I think I’m going to be sick.
那谁来把妈妈的手交出去
Who’s gonna give Mommy away?
那个…
Oh, well…
-亲爱的金妮 -艾瑞斯
– Oh, honey, my sweet Ginny. – Iris.
亲爱的 能再来一点吗
Hon. Can we have another little reload here?
-皇冠威士忌吗 -嗯
– Another Crown Royal, Earl? – Yeah.
酒吧里人手一杯吧
In fact, get the whole bar one.
办婚礼的那群人也给吗
Them, too? The wedding party?
是的
Them, too.
好的 厄尔请大家喝一杯
All right. A round for everybody on Earl!
我♥干♥了
I’ll drink to that.
十二年后
好了
Okay.
阳光草甸花卉农庄
已没收
给 伙计们
Here you go, amigos.
对不起拿不出更多了
Sorry it couldn’t be more.
互联网毁了一切
Damn Internet, it ruins everything.
那你怎么办
So what are you gonna do?
不知道 我从来不想备用方案
I don’t know. I’ve never been a plan-B type of guy.
-谢谢你 伙计 -不客气
– Gracias, amigo. – My pleasure.
谢谢你
Thank you.
我会找到办法的
I’ll find something.
谢谢
Gracias.
厄尔外公 你来啦
Grandpa Earl! You’re here!
你好啊 金妮
Yeah. Hey, Ginny.
真是个小美人
You look wonderful.
我就知道你会来婚前早午餐的
I knew you’d make it to the pre-wedding brunch.
我好兴奋啊
Oh, I’m so excited.
你没事吧
Is everything okay?
没事 不用担心
Oh, yeah, don’t worry about that.
遇到了点小挫折
That’s just a minor setback.
-没事的 -好吧 快进来
– It’ll be just fine. – Okay. Well, come on in.
我不管别人怎么说
I don’t care what they say.
这里永远欢迎你 来吧
You’re always welcome. Come on.
你先进
Okay. All right, you first.
我进去拿点东西
I just gotta grab something inside,
然后向大家介绍你
then I’ll introduce you to everybody.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
你还留着我的卡片
You saved all my cards.
从你寄的第一张我就留着了
Ever since the first one you sent me,
我九岁的时候
when I was nine.
玉米皇宫对吗
It was the Corn Palace?
好了 你来见见迈克吧
Okay. I want you to meet Mike.
他是我未婚夫 别忘了
Okay? He’s my fiance. Don’t forget.
未婚夫 好的
Fiance. All right.
好的 未婚夫
Okay, fiance.
要帮忙吗
You need help with that?
没事 谢谢
It’s fine. Thank you.
-妈 -天啊
– Mom. – Jesus.
对不起 亲爱的 他来我就走
I’m sorry, sweetie. I can’t stay if he’s here.
-妈 我在车里等 -别 亲爱的