魔术师的大象 The Magician’s Elephant（2023）

彼得
Peter.
彼得
Peter.
嘿，醒来吧，时间到了
Hey, wake up. It’s time now.
大家都来了，彼得，第三项任务
Everyone’s here, Peter. The third task.
这应该会很有趣
Well, this should be interesting.
妳一定很想念牠们 我以为妳会带我找回家人
You must really miss them. I thought you were taking me back to my family.
我要让妳回到家人身边
I need to get you back to yours.
第三项不可能的任务要开始了！
It’s time for the third impossible task!
这孩子最终会夺得大象吗？
Will the kid finally win the elephant?
会，我一定会
Yes, I will.
好了，我只要一听到女伯爵笑
Now, if at any point I hear the Countess laugh,
你就可以带走大象
you walk away with the elephant.
开始
Proceed.
有一个农夫和一个渔夫
So, there’s a farmer and a fisherman.
-他们一起在田裡 -好开始，传统的笑话
They’re out in a field together. -Solid start. Classic.
他们听到奇怪的叫声
When they hear a funny kind of croaking noise,
往池塘一看，看到一隻母鸡
they look over towards the pond and they see a hen.
母鸡有一条细绳
The hen’s got this piece of string,
池塘边有一隻青蛙，母鸡拉动细绳
and she’s working the string in and out of the mouth
细绳在青蛙的嘴巴
of a frog by the pond,
进进出出，上上下下
up and down with the string in the frog’s mouth.
渔夫说：“你觉得 母鸡为什麽要这样做？”
So, the fisherman says, “Why do you think the hen’s doing that?”
农夫转身向渔夫说
The farmer turns to the fisherman and says,
“没错，还是同一个问题吧？”
“Well, sure, it’s the same question as always, isn’t it?”
Huh? Huh?
“母鸡为什麽 用牙线为青蛙清洁牙齿？”
“Why did the chicken floss the toad?”
太棒了！很好笑，彼得！很好笑！
Nailed it! Funny stuff, Peter! Funny stuff!
喔，我懂了
Oh, I get it.
为什麽那隻鸡…？因为听起来…
Why did the chicken–? Because it sounds like…
等一下
Hold on. Hold on.
妳不是真心发笑
That’s not a real laugh.
女伯爵，如果妳不认真看待这任务 那又有什麽意义？
If you’re not gonna take this seriously, Countess, then what’s the point?
对不起，孩子，你失败了
Sorry, kid, you failed.
彼得
Oh, Peter.
不行
No.
什麽？不行？
What? No?
你必须让我带走牠
You have to let me take her,
不是为了我，是为了牠
but not for me, for her.
我一直以来都想赢得大象 让牠带我去找我的家人
All this time, I’ve tried to win the elephant to find my family,
但牠也有家人，牠被迫跟牠们分开
but she has a family and she was taken from them.
彼得，你妹妹怎麽办？
Peter, what about your sister?
大象可能也有妹妹
The elephant might have a sister too.
为什麽我的妹妹更重要？
Why is mine more important?
我知道这个笑话失败了
I know the joke didn’t work,
但求求你，大象不是自愿来这裡
but please, the elephant didn’t ask to be brought here.
我们得送牠回家
We have to send her home.
不
No, no, no, no, no, no.
哎呀，你差点说服我了
Man, you almost had me.
但不行
But no.
你有最后一项任务要完成 而我看不到她笑
You had one last thing to do, and I don’t see her laughing.
带走大象，我们离开了
Grab the elephant and we’ll roll.
不要！
No! No! No!
好，是的，这是不可能的
Okay, I know. This is impossible.
但要是有可能呢？
But what if it wasn’t?
就想一下
Just think for a moment.
想想你自己做过所有不可能的事
Think of all of the impossible things you’ve done,
你可能做过很多
and you’ve probably done plenty.
有没有一件是你独自完成的呢？
Have you ever gotten through one of them alone?
当然没有，那太荒谬了
Of course not. That would be absurd.
彼得跟人决斗 在天空飞翔，违抗国王
Peter fought and flew and defied a king,
也许他觉得自己孤军作战
and maybe he feels alone.
但他不是
But he’s not.
没有人是，记住这一点
No one is. Remember that.
Let’s go!
不好了
Oh no.
I…
好吧，孩子，你做到了
All right, kid, you did it.
什麽？真的吗？
What? Really?
But… but it was the elephant.
但…其实是大象
她在笑，对不对？ 这就是我真正想要的结果
She’s laughing, right? That’s all I really wanted.
一切在变成可能前都是不可能的
Things are only impossible till they’re not.
大象属于你了，彼得
The elephant is yours, Peter.
什麽？
What?
光荣的胜利！好耶！
Glorious victory! Huzzah!
耶！
Yeah! Woo-hoo!
太好了！
Yeah!
我们成功了！
Wow.We did it! We did it!
Mm. Whoa, whoa!
我们要怎麽送牠回家？
How will we get her home?
利用驳船横渡大海！
A barge across the sea!
飞行船？
A dirigible?
由更大隻的大象抬着牠翻山越岭！
Carried over the mountains by larger elephants!
我说出口之前还觉得这是妙计
That seemed good until I said it out loud.
魔术师！
The Magician!
快醒来
Wake up now.
这男孩说大象必须回家
This boy says the elephant must go home.
你必须把牠变走
You must make her disappear.
妳也看过我施那种咒语的后果
You’ve seen what happens when I attempt that spell.
情况没有更糟已算万幸了
We’re lucky it wasn’t worse.
先生，大象应该跟家人在一起
Sir, the elephant deserves to be with her family.
对，这个主意很棒，但你看看周围
Yeah, that’s a lovely idea, but look around you.
我的魔法一塌煳涂！
My magic is all failure!
-一塌煳涂？ -我做不到！
Failure? -I can’t do it!
胡说八道！
Nonsense!
你变出一隻从天而降的大象
You brought an elephant through the roof.
你没有意识到 这为小镇带来新气象吗？
And don’t you realize it started something here?
带来你期望的东西
The very thing you wished for.
嘿，魔法人！ 来把这位大小姐送回家吧！
Hey, magic man! Let’s send the big lady home!
我相信你可以施展正确的魔法
I believe that you can perform the necessary magic.
我相信只有你才能拨乱反正
I believe that only you can set things right.
修女！
Sister! Sister!
修女，求求妳
Sister, please.
在我的梦裡，我注定要跟着牠
In my dream, I was meant to follow her.
我不相信梦境
I do not believe in dreams.
妳相信
Yes, you do.
对，其实我的确相信梦境
Yes, I do, in fact, believe in dreams.
喔，那好吧
Oh, very well.
事态正在发展
Developments are afoot.
必须加入这场战争
The battle must be joined.
没事的
Hey, it’s okay.
没事的
It’s okay.
我听说这裡以前不是这样的
I heard it was different here before.
以前有光、有生命、有希望
There was light, there was life, there was hope.
是最适合将大象变走的城镇
The perfect kind of town to make an elephant disappear.
这是我的家
This is my home,
但不是牠的家
but it’s not hers.
失去一个朋友很难受
It’s hard to lose a friend.
我们要说再见了
We have to say goodbye now.
魔术师把牠带来这裡
The Magician brought her here,
我相信他能够送牠回家！
and I believe that he can send her home!
你们相信吗？
Do you believe?
这就能成事
That is how it will be accomplished.
拜託你，先生
Please, sir.
信念是一种伟大和无形的东西
Belief is a great and invisible thing.
它像睡眠一样悄悄来临
It comes over us like sleep.
我们在边缘挣扎
We struggle along the edges,
为无法言喻的原因而奋战…
fighting it for reasons we cannot name…
直到跟熟睡时一样
until, as with sleep,
我们失去自我
we lose ourselves.
我们停下来…然后恢复过来
We stop… and we are restored.
大象不见了！
The elephant is gone!
我真没想到我刚刚看到魔法！
I can’t believe I just saw magic!