魔术师的大象 The Magician’s Elephant（2023）

For your third impossible task…
你要逗女伯爵发笑
you will make the Countess laugh.
什麽？
What?
什麽？
What?
他们一直想逗她笑
They keep doing this.
你们一脸犹豫 是不明白“不可能”哪个字？
What part of impossible is tripping you people up?
“不”是“不可”的“不” ”可”是“可能”的“可”…
Im, not. Poss, the middle part… Im… Something…
好，我不知道，但这代表
Okay, I have no idea, but it means
不可能！
“impossible!”
而且这孩子超厉害
Plus, this kid’s a killer.
如果你觉得自己比较厉害
Anyone thinks they’re better than this kid,
下一个背着帐篷 从大教堂跳下来的就是你
you’re next jumping off the cathedral wearing a tent.
好好记住
Remember that.
你们与其担心这孩子 不如想想谁帮我准备冰淇淋
You should stop worrying about the kid and figure out who’ll get me an ice cream.
最好是奶油胡桃口味
Preferably butter pecan.
有人吗？嗨？ 大家怎麽还站在这裡？
Anyone? Hello? Why are we all standing here?
爱黛！
Oh! Adele!
我的天啊
Oh my goodness.
哈囉
Hello.
是我，梦境中的人，妳记得吗？
It’s me, from the dream. Do you remember?
我来了，妳可以告诉我为什麽吗？
I’m here. Can you tell me why?
这次大概真的是不可能
This one may really be impossible.
我是说她从来不笑
I mean, she never laughs.
完全没笑过
Not ever.
他们还不如叫我再跳一次大教堂
Maybe they’d let me jump off the cathedral again.
我可以帮你写个笑话
I could write you a joke.
妳说什麽？
Sorry?
你应该不太风趣
You’re probably just not very funny.
对，妳一定很搞笑
Right, and I’m sure you’re hilarious.
非常抱歉，小姐
Very sorry, miss.
我平常不会这样毒舌
It’s unlike me to say something so insulting.
我这辈子也从没打过人
And I’ve never hit a person in my life.
请原谅我
Please forgive me.
-但我… -啊，妳在这裡！
But I– -Oh, there you are!
我到处找妳
I was looking everywhere.
妳没事吧？
Are you all right?
我没事，修女
Yes, Sister.
好了，既然妳看过大象了…
Well, now that you’ve seen the elephant…
哈囉，大象女士
Hello, madam.
牠有跟妳说什麽吗？
Did she tell you anything?
没有
No.
非常好，宝贝！
Very good, dear!
现在我们可以回家了
Now we can go home.
但是，修女…
But, Sister–
我们好好睡一觉 然后回去我们原来的地方
We’ll get a good night’s sleep, then go back to where we belong.
我有时候会很煳涂，彼得
I get muddled sometimes, Peter,
头脑不太灵光
little unclear about things.
我要你知道
I want you to know
我非常清楚
I am perfectly clear
我接下来要说的话
what I have to say right now.
你说得对
You are right.
她是活着的
She was alive.
小女孩当时还活着
The little girl was alive.
我本来可以救她
I could have saved her.
我把她留给那护士
I left her with the nurse.
我们本来约好在驻防地会合
We were supposed to meet at the garrison, but there was an explosion.
但当时发生了爆♥炸♥
我…我觉得我没办法照顾你们两个
I… I didn’t think I could tend to you both.
我是军人，彼得
I’m a soldier, Peter.
我懂得照顾初生婴儿吗？
What do I know about an infant?
我们在战争和生活中
We make these decisions
都要做这些决定
in war, in life.
我们要在一瞬间下决定
We have only a moment.
我本可以把你们兄妹都救了
I could have saved you both.
我没有这样做
I didn’t.
而且我说谎了
And I lied
因为我不希望你再受痛苦
because I didn’t want to cause you any more pain.
我很抱歉
Oh, I’m so sorry.
长官…
Sir…
你亲眼看到她死了吗？
did you see her dead?
我妹妹？
My sister?
没有
No.
那一切都有可能
Then anything is possible.
嗯…
Well…
你大谈不可能存在的大象…
you spoke of impossible elephants…
而你是对的
and were correct.
长官？
Sir?
你站在一个不可能击败的对手面前
You stood before an impossible opponent…
而你获胜了
and you were victorious.
然后今天
Then today…
我看到你飞翔！
…I saw you fly!
是你，我的孩子
It’s you, my boy.
你
You.
你就是令一切有可能的人
You are what is possible.
明天还有一项任务
One more task tomorrow.
那跟我说个笑话吧
Well, then, tell me a joke.
一匹马走进酒吧，也许它走不进去
A horse walked into a bar. Um, maybe it can’t walk into it.
不行！不好笑
No, no! That’s not funny.
不
No.
对了
Oh, yes.
太好了！
Yes!
对，真好笑！
Yes, that is funny!
拉冯夫人
Madam LaVaughn,
我骗了妳
I’ve lied to you.
终于承认了
Finally, an admission.
不，我不是要故意伤害妳或变出大象
No, I didn’t mean to hurt you or make an elephant appear,
但我也不是想要变出百合花
but I wasn’t trying for a bouquet of lilies either.
我站在舞台上面对观众时
When I stood on that stage facing all of you,
你们的怀疑
your disbelief…
让…让我的心都碎了
…it… it made my heart break.
即使是现在，魔法就在妳眼前
Even now, you see magic right before you,
一切凭空变出来
things conjured from nothing.
魔法即使漏洞百出 马虎草率，还出意外了，但…
Granted, a fractured magic, sloppy, accidental, but…
毕竟还是魔法
magic.
妳的反应就像遇上麻烦事：“停”
To which you respond, “Stop,” as you would to some minor nuisance.
这裡到底是怎麽回事？
What has happened here?
那天晚上，我试着对妳和其他人施咒
That night, I tried to cast a spell on you and everyone else there.
一个让你们再次相信
A spell to make you believe again,
再次在乎魔法的咒语
to care about magic,
因为超乎想像的事是有可能的
because extraordinary things are possible.
只要你们相信！
If you believe!
但我没有能力施这麽强大的咒语
But I had no business attempting such a powerful spell,
因为我不是很优秀的魔法师
because I’m not a very good magician.
我尝试带来谜团与惊叹
I tried for mystery and wonderment.
结果却是一场灾难
It brought disaster.
是的
I know.
我知道妳担心女伯爵不会笑
I know you’re worried about the Countess laughing,
但我有个很好笑的笑话
but I’ve got a great joke.
我很有把握，妳要相信我
And I’ve got it under control. You gotta trust me.
嘿！
Hey!
我觉得妳没把我当回事 我是危险人物耶
I feel like you’re not taking me seriously. I’m a dangerous man.
我打败巨人，从大楼跳下来
I beat a giant, I jumped off a building.
好了，之后有很多时间玩耍
Okay. okay. There’ll be plenty of time for messing about later.
我们现在得专心完成任务，但是…
We just have to concentrate on the final task, but…
我很想快点带妳离开这裡
Oh, I can’t wait to get you out of here.
我们会很开心，有很多刺♥激♥的奇遇…
We’re gonna have so much fun and so many adventures…
去找我妹妹
…finding my sister.
哇！
Wow!
牠们是妳的家人吗？
Is this your family?
彼得！
Peter!
彼得！
Peter!