魔术师的大象 The Magician’s Elephant（2023）

-我没有！ -你百分百有！
I didn’t! -Oh, you most certainly did!
-你叫我上台！ -那是意外
You brought me on stage! -It was an accident.
胡说八道！ 你故意用大象压断我的腿！
Balderdash! You purposely crushed my leg with an elephant!
No! It was… It was supposed to be…
不！那是…那理应是…
百合花，没错，是一束百合花
Lilies. Yeah, that’s it.
这些是什麽？
A bouquet of lilies. -Hey! What is all this?
不知道！太夸张了！马上清理掉
No idea! It’s outrageous! Remove it at once.
退后，巫师！
Stand back, sorcerer!
我只是哄观众开心！
I’m just an entertainer!
我不觉得开心
I am not entertained.
-那些只是把戏 -是攻击
They’re only tricks. -Assault.
我连逃狱都不成功 怎麽能故意变出大象？
How could I produce an elephant on purpose when I can’t even escape from a jail cell?
看着，自♥由♥！
Look. Freedom!
皇帝豆，我最不喜欢的豆类
Lima beans, my least favorite legume.
你就该待在监狱
You’re behind bars where you belong.
我不会让你放出来的
I’m going to make sure you stay there.
昂首挺胸，呼吸
Chest up, shoulders back. Breathe.
直截了当但要有礼貌 强硬但要有敬意
Direct, but polite. Strong, but respectful.
浑身冒汗，很想吐
Sweaty and nauseous.
女伯爵，她公正又有智慧
The Countess, she’s fair and wise,
谁都不记得她上次笑是什麽时候
and no one can remember the last time she laughed.
-她会唱歌♥！ -她会唱歌♥吗？
She can sing! -Can she sing?
马提恩队长，什麽事？
Shh. Yes, Captain Matienne?
谢谢，女伯爵
Thank you, Countess.
我是来问大象关在哪裡
I’ve come to ask where the elephant is kept.
谁派你来问？
Who sent you to ask?
有外国势力接触过你吗？
Have you been approached by a foreign power?
没有，我身为皇宫卫队队长必须知道
No. As captain of the palace guards, I need to know.
大象很危险 我们甚至不知道牠从哪裡来
The elephant is dangerous. We don’t even know where it came from.
大象是罪犯，我们把牠当成罪犯看待
The elephant is a criminal, it is being treated as such.
罪犯？不
A criminal? No.
-这可能只是攻击的开端 -什麽？
This may just be the opening barrage. -Uh, what?
其他野兽也会像炮弹一样射向我们！
We must expect other beasts to be launched at us!
骆驼！鹤鸵！鳄鱼！
Camels! Cassowaries! Crocodiles!
我们命令过魔术师变走大象！ 他说他办不到！
We commanded the Magician to disappear her! He says he’s unable!
所以我们打算消灭牠！
As such, we plan to destroy her!
我还没决定
I haven’t decided that.
如果有男孩从窗户丢石头 你能怪石头吗？
If a boy throws a rock through a window, can you blame the rock?
我们说的是大象
We’re speaking of elephants.
-你说的是谋杀！ -大象犯了罪！
You’re speaking of murder! -The elephant committed a crime!
大象没有罪，牠错在是一隻大象！
The elephant is guilty of nothing except being an elephant!
在明天的会议前，我都会继续考虑
I’ll continue to consider this until we meet tomorrow.
但这样说吧，马提恩队长
But let me say, Captain Matienne,
我非常重视镇上的安全
I take the safety of our town very seriously.
She may need to be… gotten rid of.
牠有可能需要…被处理掉
-说得好 -同意！
Hear. -Agreed!
唯一合理的解决办法
The only sensible solution.
没错
Quite right.
里欧马提恩现在 想到另一种拯救大象的方法
Now, Leo Matienne sees one other way
to keep the elephant alive.
国王
The King.
（电报）
Ah.
他知道两件事
He knows two things…
Mm. Huh? -…one, The King has never been to Baltese.
第一，国王从没去过巴尔提斯
…over the palace wall, landing safely in the moat.
…越过宫牆，安全降落在护城河
不可能！我喜欢！
That’s impossible! I love it!
第二，国王喜欢别人逗他高兴
Two, The King likes to be entertained.
他只想别人逗他高兴
Only to be entertained…
…and never to not be entertained.
无时无刻都要找乐子
我爱你，先生！
I love you, sir!
谁想要牛轧糖？你喜欢牛轧糖吗？
Hey, who wants a nougat? You like nougat?
还有医生 然后他们会再做一遍，太棒了
And a doctor. And then they’ll go again. Fantastic stuff.
“大象从天花掉下来，击中老太太”
“An elephant came through a ceiling and hit an old lady.”
不是吧？我们出发！
Are you kidding? Let’s go!
国王！
The King!
His Majesty wants…
陛下想要…看大象！
…to see the elephant!
The… The King? -Coming here?
-国王？ -来这裡？
去看大象？
To see the elephant? -Extraordinary!
不可思议！
我们必须做好准备！
We must make preparations! -Etcetera!
诸如此类！
-彼得，你在做什麽？ -马提恩先生？
Peter, what are you doing? -Mr. Matienne?
我本来要去接你
I was going to come get you.
我说过会帮你看到大象
I said I’d help you see the elephant.
Oh, uh, I guess I just…
我想我只是…
I… I’m just not used to that.
我只是不习惯
接受帮助
Help.
来吧
Come on.
Whoa.
哇！你在这裡工作？
Wow! You work here?
那是为了大象而设？
That’s for the elephant? -Mm.
马提恩队长，都准备好了吗？
Captain Matienne, is everything ready?
太好了！
Yes, yes!
没错！我是国王
That’s right! I’m The King!
Ooh!
嘿，大家都来了！
Hey, everybody’s here!
有点心！
There’s snacks!
这是最棒的，对吧？
Oh, this is the best, right?
是的！
真希望我当时在场
I know! I know! I wish I’d been there.
Oh!
嘿，是她
Psst. Hey, it’s her.
请安静
Hear, hear.
大象要亮相了
And now, the elephant.
Ha!
妳来了
You’re here!
哇！
Wow! -Ooh!
哎呀！
My word!
牠很大隻！
The sheer dimension of her!
哇，看看牠
Wow. Would you look at that.
我必须承认牠是很漂亮的生物
I must admit, she is a magnificent creature.
牠的确是
She certainly is.
牠好像很激动
She seems agitated.
有点不对劲
Something’s not right.
牠的眼睛
Her eye.
铁鍊能锁住牠吗？
Can those chains hold her?
保护他们！
Protect them!
开枪射牠！
Shoot it! Shoot it!
不！
No! No!
不！
No!
把枪放下！彼得
Rifles down! Peter.
-彼得！ -我没事
Peter! -I’m okay. I’m okay.
没事的
It’s okay.
来
Come.
没事的
It’s okay. It’s okay.
嘿
Hey.
You did it! -Oh my God!
年轻人
Young man.
我是彼得，女伯爵
Peter, ma’am.
彼得，我很感激
Peter, I’m grateful.
我希望你留在皇宫照顾我的大象
I’d like you to stay at the palace and tend to my elephant.
大象要住在这裡？
The elephant is staying here?
我不愿意，谢谢女伯爵
No, thank you, ma’am.
那孩子有勇气，我喜欢！
Oh. -The kid’s got pluck. I love it!
我要大象带我去找失散的妹妹 这是我的命运
I need the elephant to lead me to my lost sister. It is my destiny.
“命运”
“Destiny.”
我必须请求妳把牠交给我
I must ask you to give her to me.
大象很危险，彼得，那是不可能的
The elephant is very dangerous, Peter. That’s impossible.
我正好喜欢不可能的事
I happen to like impossible things.
嘿，要是彼得 做三件不可能的事，来换一件
Hey, what if Peter does three impossible things
不可能的事呢？
in exchange for one?
我们在这裡待三天
We’re here for three days.
我每天都选一件不可能的事 要这孩子完成
Each day, I’ll pick something impossible for the kid to do,
如果他完成这三件事 就证明他有勇气和力量，诸如此类
and if he does all three, thus proving his valor, strength, blah blah blah,