绅士的启示联盟（2005）

Well, I can’t live in a pigpen. I have allergies.
我一晚上都在整理这些东西，看看！
I run my finger round all your rims, and look!
呃……Sally告诉了我她们学校发生的事情
So, um… our Sally told me about what’s been happening at her school.
我不得不说，我觉得那是骇人听闻的消息
I have to say, I think it’s appalling.
她跟你说了那事了吗？ – 噢，当然了
Did she talk to you about it? – Oh, for sure.
我实际上可以跟她的老师谈谈的
In fact, I might speak to her teachers.
很明显她们不知道怎样处理乳♥房♥♥的问题……呃…很好
They obviously have no idea how to handle titties, er, bullies.
很好
Bullies.
好的，喔，呃……，我想我要离开一会儿好让你轻松一下……
Right, well, erm… I think I’ll leave you to get yourself off, and-
我去清理一下垃圾箱
I’ll just go and empty the bins.
Steve？
Steve?
你能帮我按♥摩♥一下脚吗？
Will you rub my feet?
认真一点啊
Properly.
知道吗，你一点也不幽默
You’re not funny, y’know.
我并不想试着去幽默
I’m not trying to be funny.
只是……我觉得最近我有点不正常
I just… haven’t been feeling myself recently.
噢……
Aww.
过来
Come here.
谢谢
Thank you.
我知道那很辛苦
Look, I know it’s hard…
不是的
It isn’t.
我的意思是……，我已经被孩子们弄得精疲力尽了
I mean… you know, I’ve been stressed out with the kids,
你一直在很努力地工作……
and you’ve been working really hard, and-
你在家中还得写剧本
You’ve been bringing those characters home with you.
是的，那倒是
That’s true, yeah.
我们俩之间的这种感觉……，真的很不错
Things are just feeling really… good between us.
很好=
Good.
呃……我想起来了，其实，呃……=
Um… that reminds me, actually, erm…
我得去……清空吸尘器里的垃圾
I must go and… empty the Hoover bag.
吸尘器里灰尘都满了……
The sack is full.
对了，说一个给你听，有一个英国人，一个爱尔兰人和一个苏格兰人……
Right, here’s one for you. There’s an Englishman, Irishman, Scotchman…
噢，那是最棒的一个了！
Oh, that’s the best one yet!
想像一下吧，一个爱尔兰人混在那群人中！，太好了
Imagine, an Irishman in that company! Very good.
还不止这些呢。他把事情搞得一塌糊涂 – 别说他了，继续
There’s loads more to it. He’s spoiling it. – Ignore him. Go on.
换个酒杯吧，你现在是英雄
Get your gob round another goblet. You’re the hero of the hour.
我知道，我是英雄，是吗？ – 是的
I know. I am, aren’t I? – You are.
对不起，尊贵的夫人，但是，呃……，你想看看我的小♥弟♥弟♥吗？
Excuse me, thy ladyship, but, er… wouldst thee like to see my cock?
它非常的结实魁梧 – 待会吃了布丁以后再说吧
It’s gone bloody massive. – When I’ve had me pudding.
贵客们
My lords.
让我们干杯欢迎我们的新朋友
Let us raise our glasses and toast our new friend and champion,
——勇敢的Geoffrey Tipps子爵
Master Geoffrey Tipps, who, with great bravery,
他将我们从致命的、原因不明的……
has saved us from a deadly assassin
暗♥杀♥计划中救了出来
of unknown provenance.
Tipps子爵 – Tipps子爵！
Master Tipps. – Master Tipps!
干杯！
Cheers!
到前面来，Geoffrey子爵
Come forward, Master Geoffrey.
在国王面前跪下 – 好的
Kneel before your king. – All right.
噢，我的天，你有没有听到我膝盖发出的声音？
Ooh, God, did you hear me knees then?
起来吧，Geoffrey阁下
Arise, Sir Geoffrey!
Geoffrey阁下！
Sir Geoffrey!
这边来，你先跟我到我们的皇室房♥间里去
Come, join us briefly in our royal chambers.
嗯，好的，我也可以休息一下。待会儿见
Yeah, good. I could do with a crap. See ya.
应该属于我的小♥弟♥弟♥走了
There goes me cock.
这是什么？ – 我的花销的收据
What’s this? – Receipts for my expenses.
你不应该有花销的
You don’t have expenses!
不信你来试试看照顾一个六口之家，那不是件容易的事情
You try feeding a family of six. It isn’t easy.
我正在想办法让Pemberton，为我们写一部关于Royston Vasey的电影剧本
I’m trying to get Pemberton to write us a Royston Vasey film.
他还在客房♥里死抓着他的那些旧思路不放，找到它们，然后拿给我
He keeps his old ideas in the spare room. Find them and bring them to me.
这些事不归我做吧？嗯？
When am I supposed to do this? Hm?
我要把Joel从网球场接回来，还要带Sally去练大提琴
I’ve got to pick Joel up from tennis, take Sally to cello
还有照顾婴儿之类的事情，我被压得喘不过气了
and there’s the baby’s postnatal appointment. I’m completely creamed over.
Lipp先生，你最好给我记住
You would do well to remember, Herr Lipp,
你是一个有两面性的、虚拟的人物，就像我们其他人一样
that you’re a pun, a one-joke character, like the rest of us,
如果Royston Vasey完蛋了，你也就跟着一起完蛋！
and if Royston Vasey dies, you die with it!
所以你最好照我说的做
So you do as you’re told,
否则我将不得不得采取一些偏激的手段了
otherwise I might have to employ more extreme measures.
好吗？
Alles klar?
好的
Alles klar.
我得等一会儿…… – 呃……知道了
I just have to wait a few minutes- – Er, yeah.
今天天气不错
Lovely day for it.
嗯……
Ugh…
Geoffrey阁下，请告诉我
So, tell me, Sir Geoffrey,
你对反对我们新教♥徒♥的阴谋了解多少？
what know you of this conspiracy against our Protestant person?
你对天主教是怎么看的？
What think you of this popery?
（话者有对天主教的贬义）
你是说肉菜杂烩吗？
Pot-pourri?
我看不到，国王，如果不介意的话，可以弄一些来这里。不过这很臭
Can’t see any, King. You could do with some in here, mind. It stinks.
你在干嘛？
What you doing?
国王，厕所里有一个老家伙！
King, King, there’s an old fella in the toilet!
是我啊，爵士，我是Tom Tit
‘Tis only I, sir. Tom Tit.
谁？
Who?
我是粪便人Tom Tit，——皇室厕所的守护者
Tom Tit. The night-soil man, guardian of the royal stool.
我的职责就是把你拉出来的残渣带走
It’s my function to take away your leavings.
你看着我屁♥股♥的时候我拉不出来！
I can’t go with you looking up me bum!
请恕我大胆，有些方法可以让您放松一点的
If I might make so bold, sir, there are methods of easing the passage.
出来，出来，不情愿的凳子
♪ Come out, come out, Reluctant stool
不要把你的创造者当傻瓜
♪ Play not your maker for a fool
哦，淘气鬼们，放开你的奖品
♪ Oh, naughty guts, let go your prize
我们把这个烂蛋切了吧
♪ Let’s cut this bum egg
缩小尺寸-
♪ Down to size-
喂？ – 你好
Hello? – Hello.
“新人物形象的想法。”
“New character ideas.”
一个患麻疯病的小丑
A clown with leprosy…
一个有种族优越论思想的白人童子军团长
White supremacist scoutmaster.
噢，这也太差了
Oh, that’s very weak.
把它丢在那里
Put him there.
搞定了吗？ 抓住他了吗？能把他的眼睛给我用吗？
Have you done it? Did you get him? Can I have his eyes?
以后再说
Later.
现在我们来看看我们的战利品
Now, then. Let us examine our prize.
他的服装多么怪异啊 – 我一点也不怪异！别碰我！
What queer finery he wears. – I’m not queer! Don’t bum me!
“ASDA的George。”
“George of ASDA.”
ASDA是什么？ – 冷静一点，先生
Who art thou, ASDA? – Calm yourself, sir.
够了，够了，我有能让他说实话的装置
Enough of this fubsy. I have devices that will loosen his tongue.
为什么，我应该让他变成那个粪便人的，让他奏那累人的竖琴音乐
Why, I shall play him as a night-soil man plays his poop spinet.
你什么意思？什么装置？
What d’you mean, devices?
痛苦、折磨人的装置
Instruments of excruciating torment.
我们应该把你带你去享受……，“女士的拥抱”（装置的名字）
We shall introduce you to… the lady’s cuddle.
听起来还不错
Sounds nice.
噢，拜托，上帝啊，我什么都告诉你！
Oh, please, God, I’ll tell you anything!
我还没开始用这玩艺呢 – 喔，好的
I haven’t started yet. – Oh, right.
现在开始了
Now I’ve started.
啊……你至少得让我把外套脱下来吧，我很热！
Aaargh… At least let me take me coat off. I’m boiling!
你从哪来的？你对我们的“侏儒”知道多少？
Where do you come from? What know you of the homunculus?
“侏儒”是什么？
What is an homunculus?
我们在浪费时间，把他的骨头压碎算了
We waste time. Crush the marrow from his bones.
好吧，好吧！，你们中的哪一个是Ponsonby Snottington-Smythe（人名）？
Okay, Okay! Which one of you’s Ponsonby Snottington-Smythe?
他知道我的真名 – 是的，你们的计划我全都知道
He knows my real name. – Yeah, I’ve read the whole plot.
我们被出♥卖♥♥♥了 – 你怎么知道的？
We are betrayed. – How know you of it?
有三个家伙…… – 你在取笑我吧，先生？
There’s these three fellas… – You jest with me now, sir.
啊！不，真的是三个！
Aaagh! No, there really are!
他们创造了我，但是现在他们在控制你们了
They invented me, but they’re doing you now.
你们都是虚幻的，你们自以为你们是真的，但实际上不是！
You’re not real. You think you are, but you’re not.
他们控制着一切
They control everything.
到底是谁泄漏了我们的计划？
Who betrayed our stratagem?
这种小事我就不想去关心了
I’m no longer concerned with such petty affairs.
告诉我更多关于那些造物者的事情
Tell me more of these inventors.
我自己都不甚理解，我……我什么都没法告诉你
I don’t understand it meself. I-I can’t tell you anything!
相反，ASDA的George会的
On the contrary, George of ASDA.
你会说的……
You will tell me…
全部都说
everything.
喂？
Hello?