绅士的启示联盟（2005）

Oh, hello, you must be Paul.
这是我们的主任Liam，作家Sheila,，还有我们的制片人Brian
This is our director, Liam, our writer, Sheila, and our producer, Brian.
请坐吧
Do please take a seat.
在那里签个字
Sign there, please.
Minnie，可以拿些咖啡来吗？
Minnie, can we get some coffee?
两周前我就说过了！ – 好的，一会就好
I asked about two weeks ago! – Okay, just a sec.
对不起
Sorry. Excuse me.
快！
Come on!
一共四周整？我几乎不敢相信
Four whole weeks together? I can hardly believe it.
我知道，但是我们一定不能半途而废
I know, but we mustn’t get carried away.
我知道，但是我无法接受，因为那手术，我……
I know, but I can’t help it. Since the operation, I…
噢，他做了手术 – 他撞车了
Oh, so he’s had an operation. – He was in a car crash.
哦，我知道了，那么他所提到的痛苦就是…… – 嗯
Oh, I see, so the pain he’s referring to is… – Mm-hm.
好吧，对不起，我能从头再来一遍吗？ – 当然可以
Right. Sorry, can I start again? – Course you can.
噢……一共四周整……哎唷！
Oh… four whole weeks together… Ouch!
我几乎不敢相信。因为那手术……
I can hardly believe it. Since the operation…
你好。我在找一些坚硬的东西，例如扳手或者是假阳♥具♥之类的
Hiya. I’m looking for summat hard, like a spanner or dildo.
好吧。就要这这个了。借用一下
It’s all right. This’ll do. Just borrow it.
我的用完了
Mine’s run out.
我觉得这是个很不错的主意 – 对不起？
I think it’s quite a good idea, tails. – Excuse me?
这个信封里面只有树叶 – 噢，天啊
This envelope, it’s just full of leaves. – Oh, dear.
那么我是两天还是三天后再来呢？
So, I’ll hear in two or three days?
我们会保持联♥系♥的 – 谢谢
We’ll be in touch. – Thank you.
很高兴见到你
Nice to meet you.
和你一起“玩”一定很棒
You’re very nice to play with.
非常感谢。谢谢
Thank you very much. Thank you.
你在干什么？ – 我才参加完一个听审会！
What are you doing? – I’ve just had an audition for a film.
他们想让我为Terry…… – 别管那个了。我们继续做我们的事！
They want me for Terry, he’s been in an accident. – Never mind that. Let’s get this going.
我能看一下你的身份证吗？ – 喔，我……我有这手套
Can I see some ID, please? – Well, I-I’ve got these gloves.
对不起，伙计们，我们得下去了
Sorry, guys, we’d better go down.
动作上是没有任何问题的，Mark – 我们要拍的不是一部血腥的抢劫片
Nothing wrong with action, Mark. – We’re not doing a bloody heist movie.
慢一点！我身上有点疼！
Slow down, I’ve got a stitch!
在这里
Here.
全都在这里。他们写了一部电影剧本
It’s all here. They’ve written a film.
剧本很棒吗？我在剧本里面吗？ – 我们得看看
Brilliant? Am I in it? – We’ll have to see.
我刚上电影
I’ve just been up for a film.
我们得拷贝一份这个文档。带光盘了吗？ – 有
We need to copy this file. Got the disk? – Yeah.
Sedaka的CD
Sedaka.
尼尔·塞达卡，著名歌♥手
Sedaka.
你开玩笑吧？ – 我们可以覆盖掉上面的数据拷贝的
You are joking. – You can tape over ’em.
噢，天啊。看看附近有没有可用的盘，肯定有的
Oh, God. Any spare disks around? There must be one somewhere.
我经常用5寸软盘来拷贝东西 – 我想也是
I usually back up on a five-inch floppy. – I bet you do.
快点，拔掉电线！，我们把电脑全部拿走！
Quick, unplug it! We’ll have to take the whole thing.
不要拿显示器！ – 不要显示器的话你怎么看？像盲人一样用手摸吗？
Leave the monitor! – How are we gonna read it? Braille?
嘘！
Shh!
快，戴上面具！
Quick, get your masks on!
为什么我是猪的面具？ – 嘘！
Why am I a pig? – Shh!
什么东西戳住了我？
What’s that sticking in me?
是硬盘
The hard drive.
你看到我了吗？ – 看到了
Have you seen me? – Yeah.
抓住他！
Get him!
噢！
Whoa!
你是Steve Pemberton？
Steve Pemberton?
你为什么要那样做？ – 他可以把自己再创造出来的
What did you do that for? – He can have it reframed.
他还活着吗？ – 是的
Is he still alive? – Ja.
如果他跑下去了的话，我会发生什么事？
What would happen to me if he passed under?
谁知道呢？也许你已经挂了
Who knows? Maybe you’d go down with him.
我可以想像出一系列的糟糕后果
I can think of worse ways to go.
你去拿那电脑！快点！ – 知道了！知道了！我不是只章鱼！
Go and get the computer, you! Quick! – All right, all right! I’m not an octopus!
我们怎么处理他？我们不能带着他，他们会发现的
What are we going to do with him? We can’t take him along. They’ll be expectorating.
不行，我们已经定好了慈善义演了
We can’t, we’ve got that charity gig.
我不会那样做的 – 我们必须那样做。他们已经付了钱的
I’m not doing that. – We have to, we’ve been paid.
他们从不打算听取他人的意见
They never wanna listen anyway.
但是至少他们会自始至终地笑到最后
At least they’ll be laughing all the way through it.
Steve？
Steve?
电脑去哪了？
Where’s the computer?
可能是哪个该死的家伙偷了
Someone’s fucking nicked it.
我觉得我们……应该把他的腿切下来一块
I say we just… cut his leg a bit.
你什么意思？ – 用刀切块肉下来
What do you mean? – Cut him with a knife a bit.
这样做能证明什么？ – 看看他身体里面是什么东西
To prove what? – To see what he’s like underneath.
这不是电影《Roswell事件》，他是人类！
It’s not The Roswell Incident. He’s a human being.
你觉得他们是吃食物为生的吗？ – 当然是！
Do you think they eat food an’ that? – Of course they do!
好吧，好吧
All right, all right.
你好……Pemberton先生
Hiya… Mr. Pemberton.
你感觉怎么样？要换个枕头吗？ – 现在不要，Reece，我的头很疼
How are you feeling? Want another pillow? – Not now, Reece, me head’s pounding.
很有趣啊，其实……
It’s funny, actually…
我不是Reece，我是Geoff.
I’m not Reece. I’m Geoff.
看
Look.
我的大肚子可不是填充出来的，是吧？这是真的
That’s not padding, is it? It’s real.
Mark？
Mark?
我们是你创造的人物，并且我们已经进入到你的世界中来了
We are your characters and we’ve come into your world.
你还好吗？你怎么不说话了
You all right? You seem quiet.
你知道怎么回事的，Shearsmith先生（很重的北英格兰口音）
You know how it is, Mr. Shearsmith, mate.
你的眼睛看上去很疲惫
Your eyes look fucked.
噢，我已经很长时间为剧本熬夜工作了
Well, I’ve been licking my candle at both ends, you know.
噢，我们完成了这个剧本以后，你就可以休假了
Well, when we’ve finished this script, you can go on holiday, can’t yer?
是的，你提醒了我，我正想那样说的
Ja, that reminds me, actually. I were gonna say about that.
嗯，我们在剧本中是怎样处理Royston Vasey的？
Um… what did we decide about Royston Vasey?
是的，那很有趣，Steve
Yeah, very funny, Steve.
再见
See you later.
不管怎样，祝你好运，别糊涂就好了
Good luck, anyway. Don’t get your head bitten off.
再见
Bye.
有人吗？
Hello?
我回来了 – 真不敢相信
I’m home. – I don’t believe this.
你这个该死的混♥蛋♥！
You are such a fucking arsehole prick!
从她出生以后，我就叫你回来早一点了
One night since she was born, I ask you to be early
你竟然做不到，你这个该死的懒家伙！
and you can’t even manage that, you fucking lazy pig!
她要换尿布了
She needs changing,
还要照顾这些小孩吃饭和睡觉，我凌晨才会回来
THIS lot need feeding and putting to bed, and I’ll be home at midnight.
爸爸！ – 我得分了！我得分了！爸爸！快来啊！
Dad! – I scored! I scored, Dad! Come on!
“外景地。纪念花♥园♥，伦敦。，那是1690年。”
“Exterior. Memorial Garden, London. The year is 1690.”
噢，不要读那么大声好不好？那还没完成的
Oh, don’t read it out loud! It’s not even finished.
“我们正参加一个葬礼上。”
“We are at a funeral.”
“一群看上去像王室贵族的人裹着奢侈的绉绸。”
“A group of regal-looking mourners are extravagantly swathed in black crêpe.”
太沉闷了！ – 等一下
Depressing! – Hang on a minute.
1690年的伦敦？这说的不是Royston Vasey
London, 1690? This isn’t Royston Vasey.
我们在剧本中对应的人物呢？
Where’s the one with us in it?
没有你们
There isn’t one.
什么？ – 没有你们
What? – There isn’t one.
我们不再写关于Royston Vasey的剧本了，真不好意思
We’re not doing Royston Vasey any more. Sorry.
我明白了。所以你就杀了我们，是吗？
I see. So, you’ve killed us off, have you?
不，我们没有杀掉你们，我们只是……虚构了一些情节，做了些改变，就这样
No, we haven’t killed you off, we just… fancied a change, that’s all.
拜托，不要主观臆断 – 这就是私人的事情
God, don’t take it so personally. – It is personal.
其实这写得挺好的 – 闭嘴！
It’s actually really good. – Shut up!
“侏儒”是什么？
What’s an homunculus?
我们构想这些人物花了十年的时间
Look, we’ve been doing these characters for ten years-
噢！“这些人物”？ – 好。是你们，行了吧？
Ohoho! These characters? – All right. You then.
并且我们觉得是时候弄些进展出来了
And we felt it was time to…move on.
无论如何，我不必向你来澄清这一切 – 哼！
Anyway, I don’t have to justify myself to you. – Huh!
Steve！你把它叫做什么？
Steve! What you calling it?
什么？ – 古时的电影。你把它叫做什么？
What? – This olden days film. What you calling it?
《国王的罪恶》 – 就像是《罪恶之死》吗？
The King’s Evil. – Is it like Evil Dead?
不知道，我从没看过 – 你从没看过？！
I’ve no idea, I’ve never seen it. – You’ve not seen it?!
那才是最吸引人的吧？它太棒了
That bit where all them twigs go up her fanny? It’s brilliant.
《国王的罪恶》
The King’s Evil.
这是唯一的一份拷贝吗？ – 不是
Is this the only copy? – No.
我太了解你了
I know you too well.
留一条后路，是吧
Goes both ways, you know.
删了它！ – 什么？
Delete it! – What?
把它删了！全部删了！
Delete it! Delete the whole thing.
这样的话Pemberton先生就可以在这，为我们写一部关于Royston Vasey的电影剧本了