绅士的启示联盟（2005）

这些壁画谈到了一个时间
These frescoes speak of a time
那时黑暗的外套将会被烈火撕裂
when the mantle of darkness shall be riven by fire,
汹涌的海洋将会把地球淹没
the turbulent seas shall swallow up the earth
还有一只长颈鹿把精♥液♥射到一群老女人身上
and a giraffe will spunk up over a load of old biddies.
简而言之，它们预示了世界末日的到来
In short, they foretell the end of our world.
我们的世界吗？你的意思不是那个世界吗？ – 我知道我自己是什么意思
Our world? Don’t you mean THE world? – I know what I mean.
不要打哑迷了，告诉我们真♥相♥吧
Please stop talking in riddles. Just tell us the truth.
好吧，我们可能有一个机会来找到活命的办法
Very well. There may be a chance that we can find salvation.
在这个房♥间里有一条密道……
There is a way through in this very chamber
通向一个更广阔的世界
to a larger world beyond.
你的意思是指Calderdale？
You mean Calderdale?
不
No.
那里有一个通向另一个世界的门
Over there is a doorway to another universe.
我知道这听起来太不可思议了，但是请相信我
I know it sounds far-fetched, but bear with me.
放弃吧！这是不可能实现的！
Give yourself up. This is a wild-goose cake!
在这里！快点！
In here! Quick!
这有把魔法钥匙，它会允许我们去另一个世界
There is a magical key that will grant us access to the world beyond.
我一直带着它的。现在看看，它到哪去了？
I keep it with me at all times. Now, where is it?
噢，在这里
Oh. Here we are.
这把钥匙是三把准许进入的钥匙中的最后一把
This is the last of the three Keys of Ingress.
下去！快点！
Down there! Come on!
现在我上班要迟到了
I’m gonna be late for work now.
快走！
Shift yourself!
别耍花样了，牧师
Come off it, Reverend.
你不能欺骗我们，这是就结局，是吗？
You can’t shit a shitter. This is a wind-up, yeah?
你不会明白的，哈米吉多顿即将来临
You don’t understand. Armageddon is upon us.
注：世界末日善恶决战的战场
除非我们现在就行动，否则这就是我们最后的命运
Unless we act now, this is our ultimate fate.
在另一个世界，一切都会弄明白的，请相信我，第一伙人失败了
All will be made clear on the other side. Please understand, the first team failed!
我们不能再输一次了
We cannot afford another fuck-up.
这是Royston Vasey最后的机会了
This is Royston Vasey’s last chance.
当我们穿过那道门的时候……
When we go through that door…
好吧，现在怎么办？
Well, now what?
我们坐好了
Sit tight
并且保持安静
and keep quiet.
那有很多腊肠！快看啊！ – 哪里？
Oh there’s a load of sausages, look! – Where?
啊！
Ah!
你们是游客，是吗？ – 嗯……
You’re doing the tour, are you? – Er…
其他人全都去大街上的屠夫那里了
Well, the others have gone on to the butcher’s in the high street,
顺着右边的路走就可以了，你们不能走丢了啊
so just follow the road round to the right. You can’t miss it.
顺便说一句，你们的衣服很不错
Splendid costumes, by the way.
谢谢，我也很喜欢你的衣服
Thank you. I like your dress.
你们好！
Alles klar! Alles klar!
你们好
Alles klar.
怎么回事？ – 你是谁？你想干什么？
What’s going on? – Who are you? What do you want?
嗯？这是我的房♥子！ – 不。出去，请出去！
Eh? This is my flat! – No. Get out, please!
这些装饰物是什么东西？ – 你现在就得出去，走，请出去！
What’s all these ornaments? – You must leave now. Go, please!
请走开！出去！
What are these ornaments? – Go! Leave, please. Get out!
我只离开了几个小时而已！ – [男人锁上门]
I’ve only been gone a couple of hours!
把他们扔出去！他们太恶心了！
And put them sticks out! They stink!
发生了什么事？我的房♥子里全是……亚洲人
What is goin’ on? Me flat’s full of… Asian people.
这有点不对劲
Something’s not right about this.
Daves，你好
Hello, Daves.
我一直在等你
I’ve been expecting you.
你确定你不想让我取消聚会吗？
Are you sure you don’t want me to cancel the party?
是的，我昨晚不想麻烦你，但是如果你能组织所有人的话……
No, I don’t want to spoil your last night, but if you could organise everybody-
好的。你的一切都在我的掌握之中，Justin
Alles klar. You put yourself in my fist, Justin.
啊！我们的……
Ah! Our carriage…
好的。这三个家伙…… – 是的。英国人，爱尔兰人，还有苏格兰人
All right. There’s these three fellas… – Yeah. Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman.
有没有搞错？我一上场你就把它关了？！ – 现在相信我了吧？
That’s right, turn it off when I’ve come on! – Do you believe me now?
这是那种隐藏式摄像机偷♥拍♥的电视节目，是吧？
It’s one of those hidden camera reality television things, isn’t it?
不，这是现实
No. This is reality.
Royston Vasey只是部小说
Royston Vasey is just a fiction.
那么这四个人……？ – 是我们的创造者
And so these four men…? – Are our creators.
是的，也就是众所周知的绅士联盟
Yes. Collectively known as the League of Gentlemen.
不可思议，嗯？
Spooky, eh?
我需要时间来接受这一切
There is so much to take in.
那么是谁控制我的？
And which one plays me?
他。他同时也控制我
Him. He plays me as well.
还有我
And me.
先生们，关键在于，我们的世界正在毁灭
The point is, gentlemen, our world is coming to an end
这些人应该对此负责
and these men are responsible.
我们没时间再犯错了，无论如何，我相信牧师也跟你说了
We have no time to lose. Anyway, I’m sure the Reverend briefed you well.
嗯？ – 嗯……是的，她说了
Eh? – Er… yes, she did.
这个人怎么了？ – 我们没有推他下去！
What happened to this one? – We didn’t push him!
没事的，Tubbs
It’s all right, Tubbs.
我们直接去找他，那是个……错误
We approached him directly. It was a… mistake.
可能是某些东西吓坏他了 – 我想像不出是什么
Something must have frightened him. – Can’t think what.
这是我们的问题，我们是三个更加怪异的人
You see, this is our problem. We are three of the more bizarre characters.
把它吞下去不是件容易的事情
It’s not easy blending in.
那样很伤身体的
There is a lot of prejudice.
现在有一个不错的办法
The time has come for a more subtle approach.
Edward！ – 谢谢提醒时间，Tubbs
Edward! – Thank you, Tubbs.
开往伦敦的火车在二十分钟后就出发了，你们应该这样做：
The train to London leaves in twelvety minutes. These are your orders.
找出你们的创造者，找到他们要毁灭我们的原因
Seek out the creators. Discover why they are destroying us
然后阻止他们那样做
and stop them.
我给你们带了些三明治，还做了些炸鱼饼
I’ve packed you some sandwiches and I also made some fish cakes.
哪种鱼？ – 棕色的
What kind of fish? – Brown.
不错
Lovely.
好的……一块热巧克力和四个Twixes（某食物的商标名）
Okay, so… a hot chocolate and four Twixes.
是的，是我 – 好的。噢，我不能再说那个词
Yeah, that’s me. – Alles klar. Oh, I must stop saying that.
嗯……一块植物蛋白饼和一杯淡茶
Erm… a veggie burger and a weak tea.
我，嗯……我把它们放到袋子里就行了
I’ll, erm, I’ll just leave it in the bag.
你没做什么实际的事情吗？ – 噢，我先让大家填饱肚子
Didn’t you get owt? – Oh, I’ll just have a mouthful of everybody.
那样你们就不用为吃的去忙活了
I’ve got room for a couple of your fingers.
那么，我还漏了什么没有？ – 到这来，看看吧
So, what have I missed? – Here, have a look.
噢！ – 不是看那里
Ohh! – Yeah, not that.
是的，我看到了 – 你能看到我的创造者吗？
Ah ja, I see them. – Can you see my one?
可以。他比你还苗条 – 闭嘴！
Ja… He’s slimmer than you. – Shut up!
我的创造者正坐在电脑前
My one’s at the computer.
他一定很聪明 – 喔，那么我的创造者就是指挥他做事的了
He must be the clever one. – Well, mine’s telling him what to do.
不，现在轮到我看！我想看我的创造者！ – 这里不归你指挥！
No, it’s my turn! I want to see my one! – You’re not in charge!
看看你们俩！
Look at you!
吵得像婴儿一样
Bickering like infants.
你还没找到下一步行动的线索，是吧？
Haven’t got a clue what to do next, have you?
是的
Yeah.
什么？
What?
如果我们行动太快的话，我们就能赶上Eye-wheel了
If we’re quick, we can get on the Eye-wheel.
不要管Eye-wheel。你听我的！
Never mind the Eye-wheel. You listen to me!
我才不关心你们两个，以及那些回到Royston Vasey的小丑们的死活
I don’t give a calf’s kidney about you two or any of those clowns back in Vasey,
但是我是在乎我自己的
but I do care about me.
我不想死
And I want to survive.
所以你们得按我的方式去做，明白吗？
So, we’re going to do this my way. All right?
是的，他坐在电脑前，他在干什么？
Right, he’s sitting at the computer, so what’s he doing?
在写作吗？ – 正是
Writing? – Precisely.
我们要搞到那台电脑
We’ve got to get that computer.
噢，那是我的创造者
Ooh, there’s my one!
有什么可以帮忙的吗？
Can I help you?
哦，好的。你签个字好吧？
Oh, right. If you’d just like to sign in for me?
好的。他们是和你一起的吗？
That’s great. And are they with you?
他们也要签名
They need to sign in, too.
噢，他太滑稽了 – 他是德国的。是憨豆先生
Oh, now he is bloody funny. – We have him in Germany, Herr Bean.
就是火鸡的那个……
That one with the turkey…
闭嘴！你们知道要做什么事，继续做。快点
Shut up! You know what to do, so get on with it. Make it quick.
你见过憨豆先生吗？ – 不，我没见过
Seen Unseen Bean? – No, I haven’t.
请收《绅士联盟》剧本的包裹
I’ve got a packet for the League of Gentlemen.
等一会儿
Hang on, just a minute.
打住，打住。乱用它要罚款500英镑的，谁来付这钱？
Hang on, hang on. There’s a £500 penalty for deliberate misuse. Who’s paying for that?
只要我有一个小工具就我就可以做到！，你有吗？
If only I could get my hands on a little tool! Got one?
没有。我去看看能不能找到些其他的东西 – （德语）但是你要快点！
No. I’ll go and see if I can find summat. – Aber schnell!
噢，你好，你一定是Paul了