潦倒岁月（2017）

任何人都能从马上摔下来
Anybody could fall off a horse,
但是一个优秀的特技演员可以摔下后再站起来而毫发无损
but a good stuntman can do it and get up and be okay.
这就是艺术
And that is the art.
哦 太棒了 长见识了
Oh. Awesome. Good to know.
特技演员永远得不到他们应得的荣耀
Stuntmen never get the glory they deserve.
我总是羡慕他们
I was always envious of ’em.
我本该做特技演员
I should have stayed a stuntman.
也许吧 可能 应该 对吧?
Maybe. Coulda, shoulda, right?
您知道 这些奇闻轶事如果在问答环节里讲
You know, these would actually be great anecdotes
会非常棒
to tell at the– at the Q&A.
如果您想…如果您想回去
If you want– If you want to head back inside.
刚开始他们拍的都是西部片
When I was starting out, all they made were westerns.
我对好莱坞一无所知
I didn’t know a damn thing about Hollywood,
但我知道如何骑马
but I did know how to ride a horse.
所以我偷偷溜进派拉蒙制片厂
So I snuck on the Paramount lot,
当我听说他们在拍一场骑马戏时
and when I heard they were shooting a Hoppy movie,
我走向那个人
I walked up to the guy,
我大声喊道
shouting the loudest and I said,
“我是新来的特技演员”
“I’m the new stuntman. ”
所以接下来 我打扮得像个印第安人
Next thing I know, I’m dressed like an Injun,
骑着一头酱色的骏马穿越派拉蒙牧场
riding a caramel stallion across the Paramount ranch.
然后我听到了“砰!”的一声暗示
And then I hear my cue. Bang!
你知道我当时做了什么吗?
And you know what I did then?
从马上摔了下来
Fell off the horse.
我打赌我现在也能做到 你喊一声“砰”
Bet I could still do it. Yell “Bang.”
不好意思 您说什么?
I’m sorry, what?
我叫你喊一声“砰”
Yell “Bang.”
砰
Bang.
哦 我的天
Oh, my God.
很好 孩子们
Very good, guys.
小心啊 维克
Careful, Vic.
哦 该死的
Oh, shit.
女士们先生们 欢迎维克·爱德华兹
Ladies and gentlemen, Vic Edwards.
好 就像之前说的 维克会做一个简短的问答
Okay, as promised, Vic is gonna do a short Q&A.
维克 您在加德满都的搭档
Vic, your co-star in Kathmandu
是可爱而有才华的弗吉尼亚·多诺万
was the lovely and talented Virginia Donovan.
当时的演艺公♥关♥部把你们当玩具一样耍
The studio PR department at the time played you guys up as an item.
那个谣言是真的吗 还是好莱坞的炒作?
Was there any truth to that rumor, or was that just Hollywood hype?
不 我把她的脑袋打爆了
No, I banged her brains out.
但是我们约会的谣言完全是胡扯
But the rumors that we were dating was bullshit.
听着 我和你直说吧
Look, I’ll give it to you straight
我老了 没精力讲那么多废话
because I’m too old to give you any crap.
当你出名的时候 每个人都想搞你
When you’re famous, everybody wants to screw you.
嗯
Hmm.
所以我玩了好莱坞的每一个小明星
So I porked about every starlet in Hollywood.
每一个封♥面♥女♥郎♥
Every cover girl.
每一个小可爱 每一个辣妹
Every cute extra. Every hot waitress.
记得有一个在拍摄《无能为力》时的化妆师
There was one makeup girl on the set of No Can Do,
真是一群疯子
what a set of bonkers there.
他们应该申报国宝
They should have declared national treasures.
也许现在看起来像是烛台上松垮的袜子 但是…
Probably look like saggy socks over the menorah now, but…
刚才提的什么问题?
What was the question again?
嗯…好吧 还有其他问题吗?
Uh… All right. Any other questions?
好 肖恩
Yes, Shane.
在您职业生涯的开始
Um, at the onset of your career,
大家都知道您是个戏骨
you were known as an actor’s actor.
您甚至跟史黛拉·阿德勒学习过
You even studied with Stella Adler.
是啊 那个婊♥子♥
Yeah. Bitch.
您甚至被比作白兰度
You were compared to Brando, even.
但不知曾几何时
But somewhere along the way,
您开始选择拍更多的动作电影
you started choosing to do more action-y films
而不是人物传记类的
instead of the character pieces.
这是为什么呢?
Why is that?
您真的为了《约翰尼高速公路》而拒演《冲突》吗?
And is it true that you turned down Serpico for Johnny Speedway?
好了 呃 时间已经差不多了
Well, you know, it’s getting kind of late.
我们明天还有重大活动 所以我想也许…
We got a big day tomorrow so I think maybe, um…
你知道 他…他说的没错
You know, but he’s– he’s right.
帕西诺 德尼罗 白兰度
Pacino, De Niro, Brando.
他们选对了
They picked the right ones.
我选错了
Bad choices.
选错了
Bad choices.
我想 呃 我这话是代表大家说的
Well, I think, uh, I speak for all of us
您绝对做了正确的选择
when I say that you definitely made the right choices
因为我们喜欢您所有的电影 是吧?
’cause we love all your films, right?
是啊
Yeah.
说到德尼罗
Speaking of De Niro,
你用花言巧语骗我 你这个小混♥蛋♥
you sold me a bill of goods, you little asshole.
对不起 您说什么?
I’m sorry, what?
你让我相信了克林特 鲍比和杰克
Well, you let me believe that Clint and Bobby and Jack
都来过这里领奖
all came on to accept their awards here.
可他们从未来过
And they never been here.
我明确一下 我从来没说过他们来过这里
I never said they came here, to be clear.
我只是说我们给他们颁了奖
Uh, I just said we had given them the awards.
你想干什么 羞辱我?
What are you trying to do, humiliate me?
戛纳 那叫电影节
Cannes. That was a film festival.
威尼斯 那叫电影节
Venice, that was a film festival.
但这里只有一群失败者在地下室看电影
But this is just a bunch of losers watching movies in their basement.
管他呢
Screw it.
天哪
Holy shit!
好吧 维克 晚安
All righty, Vic, nighty night.
李尔明天中午会来接您
Lil’s gonna be here at noon to pick you up.
我们去吃著名的纳什维尔烧烤
We’ll go get some famous Nashville barbecue
然后我们明天有一个盛大的放映活动
and then we got a big day of screenings tomorrow.
当你在影院大荧幕上放映电影时
When you show a movie on a theater screen,
这叫放映
it’s a screening.
当你在墙上投影时
But when you project a movie on the wall,
这叫悲催
it’s pathetic.
呃 我们刚刚开始起步
You know, we’re just starting out.
我们在竭尽所能利用有限的资金来做这一切
We’re doing the best we can with the money that we have.
你这整个愚蠢的小♥电♥影♥节就是个笑话
Your whole stupid little festival is a joke.
现在我懂了
I get it now.
是看我的笑话 你们在耍我
The joke’s on me. You guys are messing with me.
不 不 爱德华兹先生 完全没这回事
No, no, Mr. Edwards. It’s nothing like that.
你们会放上网 全世界都会来嘲笑
Put it on the YouTube and the whole world will laugh at it.
维克 我们是您最大的粉丝
Vic, we’re your biggest fans.
我们决不会那样做
We would never do anything like that.
啊哈 这就是为什么这个混♥蛋♥
Uh-huh. Well, that’s why this asshole’s
一直拿着相机跟着我
following me around with that camera.
别拍我
Get that out of my face.
别 别 爱德华兹先生 爱德华兹先生
No, no, Mr. Edwards. Mr. Edwards.
爱德华兹先生 拜托
Mr. Edwards, please.
别 别 维克 维克 拜托
No, no, Vic, Vic, please.
我们该好好讲道理 我认为我们不该打架
It’s a liability thing. I don’t think we should fight.
你这个混♥蛋♥
You’re a jerk.
道格! – 不 不 肖恩
Doug! -No. No, Shane.
我受够了 我是说 他刚刚摔坏了斯图亚特的相机
I’ve had it. I mean, he just broke Stuart’s camera.
你想知道我们把你带到这儿来的真正原因吗?
You want to know the real reason we brought you here?
是啊 因为我已经够傻了
Yes, because I’m stupid enough to come.
因为我们是你的粉丝 好吗? 因为我们喜欢你的电影
Because we’re fans, okay? Because we love your movies.
因为我们认为你是个很棒的演员
Because we think you’re a great actor.
我们省下所有的钱
And we save all our money
来每年举办这个电影节
and we throw this film festival every year.
是的 也许某些方面是有点粗制滥造
And, yeah, maybe some aspects of it are a little low-rent.
有一点? – 但当你同意来的时候
A little? – But I was really excited
我真的非常激动
when you agreed to come.
而现在我真希望我没有邀请你
Now I wish that I hadn’t even invited you
因为你毁了整件事
because you’re ruining the whole thing.
我也希望你没邀请我
I wish you’d never invited me either.
但我邀请了!
Well, I did!
你也来了 所以…
And you’re here, so…