史泰登岛国王（2020）

我反正高♥潮♥了
Yeah, I did.
高♥潮♥了6 趟 -挺好
Like, six times. – Cool.
很赞哦 -刚才这炮挺好
Awesome. – It was great.
你呢 -没有诶
Did you? – No, no, no.
但是没事儿啊 我挺开心的
But it’s okay. I-I had fun.
我感觉也挺好
I had fun back there.
是嘛
Yeah.
我很遗憾都没有满足到你
You know, I feel bad that you never do.
不 我很满足啊
No, I-I do all the time.
我只是没有你表现的那么明显而已
I just… you know, I don’t put on a Broadway show like you do.
我比较安静
You know, I’m-I’m more quiet.
我的高♥潮♥跟卓别林哑剧比较像
I’m more like Charlie Chaplin when I come.
像看哑剧一样的爽 -对就是这样
Like a silent movie. – Silent movie.
额 你觉得是因为抗抑郁的药物的作用吗
Um, do you think it’s the antidepressants?
嗯 是吧
Oh, yeah, for sure.
是啊 如果不是吃了抗抑郁的药
Yeah. If I didn’t have the antidepressants,
我8秒就射了
I’d come in, like, eight seconds.
然后你的高♥潮♥就没有了
And then you wouldn’t come.
然后你会抑郁的
And then you’d be depressed.
然后你就得吃抗抑郁的药了
And then you would have to take antidepressants.
我不知道呢 我能发表下我的想法么我 -你说
I don’t know, can I say something? I, um… – Yeah.
我就是不能理解为啥咱俩要这般偷鸡摸狗呢
I just still don’t understand why this is such a big secret.
你懂为什么的呀 因为咱俩这是特殊关系呀
You know why it’s a big secret. ‘Cause it’s special.
这是我们之间的小秘密啊
It’s-it’s, like, our thing, you know?
如果大家都知道了我们的关系就不特殊了呢
It-it wouldn’t be special if everybody knew about it.
话虽如此 但我不想我俩只是这样的关系啊
Yeah, but I don’t just want to do this.
懂 我理解 那我们以后还要这么搞么
Yeah, I totally get that. So, should we stop?
我不是这个意思
No, I…
我不知道怎么说 我们这算什么呀
I don’t know, like, this… like, what is this?
我不知道为啥 这关系
And I don’t know why… – This?
咱们这是 -我只想像正常人一样
This is… – I want to do what normal people do.
我懂 我只是 你知道的 我
Yeah, I know. I just, you know, I…
公开很奇怪啊
It-it might be weird, you know.
我们都认识对方那么久了
We’ve known each other for, like, ever.
从小学四年级开始吧
Since fourth grade.
公开的话感觉像乱♥伦♥一样
It would be like incest.
不会啦
No, it wouldn’t.
会啊 感觉就是我们一直是好朋友
No, it’s like, yeah, w-we’re best pals,
我不想因为这个伤到 我们的友谊
and I wouldn’t want to, like, jeopardize our friendship
或者友谊就被其他什么取代了
or something like that over something…
不是不对 就是这样风险很大
not silly, but, you know, it’s just… it’s a big risk.
但是我们已经发♥生♥关♥系♥了呀
But we’ve already done the deed.
我说还有啥阻碍的 -已经发♥生♥关♥系♥了
I mean, what else is there? – “Done the deed”?
我不知道啦 -但是
I don’t know. – But, you know, it’s just,
你以后一定会遇到一个比我更好的人 -什么
you deserve somebody way better than me. – What?
你已经很好了
You’re a good guy.
你很好啊 我喜欢你 -额
You’re a good guy. I like you. – Uh…
好吧 你为什么这么说
Well, I… Based on what?
我也喜欢你啊 就像
I mean, I like you, too. It’s just like…
好吧 我 跟你说 我可以跟你说个事儿么
All right, can I just tell you… can I tell you something?
但只有你知道不要告诉别人
But can you, like, not tell anybody?
可能别人也知道吧 但是 就像
Well, people probably know, but, like…
我可能有毛病
There’s, like, something wrong with me.
精神疾病 -啥
Like, mentally, like… – What?
我发病的时候
Like, I’m not okay up there.
就像
You know? Like…
我会变得癫狂 像疯子一样
I-I get all mad, acting, like, crazy,
然后我真的会神志不清 做一些冲动的事情
and I, and I make really insane, impulsive decisions.
然后我
And I get…
我自己都怕自己 但我不想
I’m d… I’m scared o-of myself, and I don’t…
我不想吓到你或和我自己
I don’t want to, like, scare you or me
或者伤到其他人 你懂吗
or, like, hurt anyone, you know?
所以我想最好
So, I think it would just be best
我应该还是离你远点好
and really responsible of me if I just backed off, you know?
你不要这么想你自己嘛
I don’t want you to f-feel like that about yourself.
不是我这么想自己 是
Oh, no, it’s…
我只是我不想冒犯到你 懂么
I just, I just don’t want to offend you, you know?
你最好了 你是（世界上）最好的人
You’re… you’re the best. I think you’re the greatest.
我知道你觉得我很好 我是很好
I know you think I’m great. I’m awesome.
我只是很抱歉你看低了你自己
I feel bad that you don’t think you’re great.
早啊 亲爱的
Hey, honey.
我给你做了煎蛋卷
I made you an omelet.
你打算穿啥去你妹妹的毕业典礼啊
What are you gonna wear to your sister’s graduation party?
我在想要要不你穿你爹的西服吧
I was thinking, what about one of your dad’s suits?
我知道啊
I don’t know.
我觉得不太适合穿西服吧
I-I don’t think I’m really a suit guy, you know?
再说那些西服都过时了 所以
Plus-plus, all those suits are out of style, so…
我觉得他们很复古啊
You know, I thought they were back in style.
还有你去聚会前咱能不吸大♥麻♥么
And… can you not smoke pot before the party?
为毛
Why?
因为太臭了 到时你浑身都裹着臭味
Because it smells. You smell bad.
也别吸电子烟 不然人家会以为你吸了大♥麻♥
And no vaping because they’re gonna think it’s pot.
那个叔叔是个警♥察♥
The uncle is a cop.
我们别给自己找麻烦
We don’t need that kind of trouble.
去他妈的
Fuck that guy.
我讨厌这个家
I hate this family.
他们浑身铜臭又傲慢
They’re so rich and snooty.
他们对克莱尔 很好啊
They’ve been really nice to Claire.
嘿 老妈 可以给几个塑料箱子么
Hey, Mom. You got me the plastic containers.
我只需要几个纸箱丢不要的东西
I just need the cardboard boxes I can throw away.
但是他们很擅长分类
But they’re so good for storing things.
我没啥需要收纳的
Yeah, but I don’t have any storage.
我衣橱只有两尺宽呢
My closet’s, like, two feet wide.
嘿 切尔 你要我去你毕业典礼么
Hey, Claire, do you even want me at your graduation party?
我想让你去吗 我是无所谓了
Do I want you to go? I don’t care.
只是 你不去会显得很奇怪
Just… It’s weird if you don’t go.
好像不是很想我去啊
That wasn’t exactly a warm invitation.
哈 好吧 我也不是很想邀请你
Yeah, well, it’s not the part I’m looking forward to most.
但我想你他还是去吧
But I want you to be there.
她邀请你去了 -不 她不想
She wants you to go. – No, she doesn’t.
她刚说了呀 -不 我不想他去
She just said it. – No, I don’t want him to go.
他得去
He has to go.
就不要全程缩在沙发上的一个角落就行
Just don’t sit on the couch in the corner the whole time.
太诡异了 -我没觉得
It’s weird. – No, I don’t see the problem
坐在一个角落里有啥问题啊
with sitting in the corner, okay?
聚会上有些人会去舞池里跳舞
There’s some people that go to the party and dance,
有些人就是会坐在角落看而已
and there’s some people that sit in the corner.
我就是那个坐角落的人而已
I’m the corner guy.
爱不爱 你哥哥我就是这样一个人
Accept your brother.
还有别想 跟莱拉上♥床♥啊
Also, don’t try to fuck Layla, okay?
她都跟你说了她对你没兴趣
She told you she’s not interested.
你说啥呢
What are you talking about?
我从来没想跟她在一起啊
I never tried to hook up with her.
是她自己一直想勾搭我 我考虑到你的感受
She’s always trying to fuck me, and I-I have to avoid it
不惜一切代价 躲着她
at all costs, out of respect for you.
我只是觉得她穿裤子很好看而已
I just thought she looked really good in those pants.
我去 -这是个称赞好吧
Jesus. – Thought that was a nice thing to say.
别说了 -我还以为你会回应我你也赞同呢
Just don’t. – I didn’t know I would get MeToo’d for it.
你爹的西服塑封着放在车♥库♥里
Dad’s suits are vacuum-sealed in the garage.
哦 -你自己选个中意的吧
Yeah? – Just pick yourself a nice one.
你得好好打扮下
You have to look nice.
我们是去庆祝你妹妹获得的成就的
We’re celebrating your sister’s achievements.
等她不在了你会想她的
You’re gonna miss her when she’s gone.
是啊 为我庆祝吧
Yeah. Celebrate me.
哇 时间过得真快呀
Wow, this, uh… this all happened so fast.
真不敢相信你这么就毕业了
I-I can’t believe you’re graduating already.
我会想你的
I’m gonna really miss you.
第二回合
Round two.
开打
Fight!
哟 你从哪儿搞到这个的啊
Yo, where’d you get this?