喜剧之王

and I can’t even pay my rent!
我住茅屋 而你住镇屋
I live in a hovel. You live in a townhouse!
好吧 你想那样 我有钱给你
O.K., you want to do that? I got money for you!
不敢相信我跟你混了那么久
I can’t believe how long I’ve hung out with you
听了那那些老套无趣的笑话
And listened to your tired, stale, boring jokes.
-这是九百 小声点 -不 不
-Here’s $900. Be quiet. -No! No!
拿着给杰瑞
Take this and give it to Jerry!
最后一次 最后一次
This is the last time. This is the last time.
他什么时候会拿到
When will he get it?
你是个怪人
Because you’re a wacko.
如果你没有干的话我会知道的
I’ll know if you don’t!
我知道你和杰瑞在哪儿
I know where you and Jerry are!
水门都是我的地头 记住
I cover the waterfront! Remember that!
看什么 走开
What are you looking at? Beat it!
人♥渣♥ 垃圾
You scum! You’re street trash!
首先 龙小姐
First of all, Miss Long,
非常感谢你在办公室的工作
thank you very much for your help at the office
而且把这传递给杰瑞
and for passing this onto Jerry.
我比任何人都更感激
I appreciate it more than you know.
杰瑞 在我开始之前
Jerry, before I begin,
谢谢你赏面来听
Thank you for listening to this material
也谢谢给我机会
and for the opportunity you’ve given me.
很多人以为你走到这一步
Lots of people think that people who’ve made it
会象我这样丧失天分
Lose their feeling for struggling young talent, such as myself.
现在我得知
Now I know from experience
那些人只是嫉妒而已
That those people are just cynics
基于他们自己的失败
Embittered by their own failure.
我知道
I know, Jerry, that you are as human as the rest of us,
你正如我们之中的一个
if not more so.
没有任何怀疑的理由
There’s no point in going on about it.
你知道我有多激动吗 让我们开始吧
You know how I feel, so let’s get on with the show…
鲁朴·普金的精选
The best of Rupert pupkin.
杰瑞 为了给你省点时间
Jerry, I’ve sketched out this little outline
我写了这个草稿
to save you time.
这是一点开头辞
It’s a little introduction.
闭上眼睛 想象一下六点整
So close your eyes, imagine it’s exactly 6:00.
你站在后台
You’re standing in the wings,
我们听到娄布朗交响乐团
And we hear lou brown and the orchestra
在演奏你的主题曲
Strike up your theme song.
现在是纽约现场
And now, from new york,
这里是杰瑞·兰福秀
It’s the Jerry langford show
今晚嘉宾有理查德·普赖尔
With Jerry’s guests Richard Pryor,
本·戈扎那
Ben Gazzara…
伊丽莎白·阿什利
Elizabeth ashley…
卡洛尔·伯纳特
Carol burnett…
还有年底喜剧新秀
And the comedy find of the year,
和他的处♥女♥演出
mMaking his television debut,
鲁朴·普金 新一代的喜剧之王
Rupert pupkin, the new king of comedy!
鲁朴 鲁朴
Rupert! Rupert!
-你疯了 -答应呀
-Are you crazy? -Say hello…
你怎么了
What’s wrong with you?
-人家都睡了 -妈
-People are sleeping! -Aw, mom!
小声点
Lower it!
你怎么了
What’s the matter with you?
妈
Mom!
没什么大不了的 小声点
Take it easy. Lower it.
我才不放小声呢
I’m not going to lower it!
我不得不这样做
I have to do this now!
我不介意你玩一下
I don’t mind you playing it,
不过小声点
but lower it!
杰瑞 你该上场了 你照独白念
Now, you come on, Jerry, and you do your monologue.
当时机成熟
then when the time comes,
你这样介绍我
This is how I see you introducing me.
你可以这么说
You could say something like this.
请用热烈的掌声欢迎
Will you please give your warmest welcome
新一代的喜剧之王
to the newest king of comedy…
鲁朴·普金
Rupert Pupkin!
女士们先生们 晚上好
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
我叫鲁朴·普金
My name is Rupert Pupkin.
我出生于新泽西的克里夫顿
I was born in Clifton, New Jersey,
是位于
Which is north of…
如果有人是打那来的
Is there anyone here from…
不过事实是
But the fact is…
皮金先生
Mr. Pipkin…
普金 有天你会念对的
Pupkin. You’ll get it right one of these days.
你好吗
How are you?
我打赌你有录音
I’ll bet you have a tape.
-在这 -好的 有名字在上面
-Right here. -O.K. Got your name on it?
我们听后会在你回复的
We’ll listen and get it back to you soon.
谢谢 当杰瑞有空的话 好
Thanks. When Jerry finds a moment. Good.
那大约要多长时间
When will that be?
你可以明天来看看
Uh… Actually, you can try me tomorrow.
-明天 -那时该有点眉目了
-Tomorrow? -I might know something by then.
-否则是星期一 -星期一
-Otherwise, Monday. -Monday? Hmm.
我想我会在这等一会儿
What I might do is just wait here awhile.
也许杰瑞有空的话
Maybe Jerry will find a minute.
你这是浪费时间
You’re really just wasting your time.
我们到明天前都不可能有消息的
We won’t know anything till tomorrow at the earliest.
我不介意 那不是浪费时间
I don’t mind. I’m not wasting my time.
我会很荣幸的 那对我很重要
I’m glad to do it. It’s important to me.
-那可能是星期一 -星期一
-It’ll probably be Monday. -Monday?
星期一
Monday.
好吧 我会等的
Well, I’ll still wait.
真的 我不介意 好
Really, I don’t mind. It’s O.K.
这么行不行
Tell you what.
你明天下午试试看
Why don’t you try me tomorrow afternoon for sure?
-明天 -行
-Tomorrow? -Mm-hmm.
-什么时候 -四点半
-What time? -4:30.
四点半 我会来的
4:30. I’ll be here.
-谢谢 -不用谢
-Thank you. -You’re welcome.
-同时也谢谢杰瑞 -我会的
-And thank Jerry. -O.K. I will.
再见
Goodbye.
再见
Goodbye.
每个人至少都会有一次是天才
At least once in his life, every man is a genius.
鲁朴 我想告诉你
I’ll tell you something, Rupe,
你命里至少有不止一次
It will be more than once in your life for you
因为你已拿到了
Because you’ve got it.
听说你拿到了
From what I’ve heard here, yeah, you’ve got it,
你会继续的
And you’re stuck with it.
如果你想干掉它 那是不可能的
If you wanted to get rid of it, you couldn’t.
它永远在那
It’s always going to be there.
我知道那无绝妙好计
I know there’s no formula for it.
我仅仅不知道你怎么做到的
I just don’t know how you do it,
提醒你 我感兴趣并非
And I’m not curious, mind you,
是我想用来作材料
Because I want to use the material.
我好奇只因我不明白你怎么做到的
I’m curious because I don’t know how you do it.
我真的得问问你
I really have to ask you that.
你怎么干的
How do you do it?
我想是我看看自己的一生
I think it’s that I look at my whole life,
我觉得一无是处
And I see the awful things in my life
可那却变得有些好笑
And turn it into something funny.
就这样
It just happens,
那些前面几句调笑呢
But what about the first few one-liners?
它们不够强吗
Were they strong enough?
如果再强些 反而不好了
If they were any stronger, you’d hurt yourself.
真不错 你这家伙
They’re marvelous, you daffy bastard.
就照那样 真不错
Leave them alone. They’re beautiful.
有人说 听我说
A man said listen to me.
听我说
Listen to me.
有人在多年前说过些深奥的东西
A man said something very profound some years ago,
后来我整理了