喜剧之王

你也许以为我在开玩笑
Well, I know you think I’m joking,
不过 相信我
But, believe me, that’s the only way
那是我唯一可以进入演艺圈的方法
I could break into show business…
就是绑♥架♥杰瑞·兰福
By hijacking Jerry Langford.
现在 杰瑞被绑在椅子上
Right now, Jerry is strapped to a chair
城市的某个角落
somewhere in the middle of the city.
笑吧
Go ahead, laugh.
谢谢 我很感激
Thank you. I appreciate it.
不过事实是 我在这儿
But the fact is, I’m here.
明天你们会明白我不是在开玩笑
Now, tomorrow you’ll know I wasn’t kidding,
你们会认为我疯了
And you’ll think I was crazy.
不过 瞧 我思量
But, look, I figure it this way.
宁为一夜之王
Better to be king for a night
毋做一世闷蛋
than schmuck for a lifetime.
谢谢 谢谢
Thank you. Thank you.
你怎么干的
How’d you do that?
喜欢吗
Did you like it?
谢谢
Thank you.
下轮酒是我的
I’d like to buy everyone here a drink.
希望你们都喜欢这秀
I hope you all enjoyed the show.
瑞塔 不用找了
Rita, you keep the change.
就算我成名了 我也不会忘了你的
Just because I made it big, I won’t forget about you.
好了 好了
Come on. Come on!
这发生什么了
What’s happening here?
自己保重 鲁朴
Take care of yourself, Rupert.
他就是刚才在电视里的那个人
That’s the same guy who was just now on television.
同一个人
Just now. Same guy.
我们打平了
I’m just getting even.
别开玩笑
No jokes. No jokes.
你谋杀了
You murdered.
你不喜欢我的秀
You didn’t like my show?
不 不
No. No.
事实上
Matter of fact,
我正想找给你写笑料到那人
I’m looking for the guy that wrote the material.
我把他抓起来 然后和你一起关起来
I’ll pick him up and take him along with you.
那笑料是我写的 我不认同你
I wrote the material. I disagree with you.
我想他们都是非常好的笑话
I thought they were very good jokes.
如果是你作的这些料
If you wrote that material,
我有个建议
I got one piece of advice for you.
跪在法官前
Throw yourself on your knees in front of the judge
求求他可怜
And beg for mercy.
非常好笑 不过你会明白的
That’s very funny, but you’ll see.
在最近的一个奇异的
In what has to rank as the most bizarre debut
处♥女♥演出里
in recent times,
一个名叫鲁朴·普金的喜剧演员
A self-styled comedian named Rupert Pupkin
出现在杰瑞·兰福秀里
Appeared on the Jerry Langford show…
毫无疑问 这个事件
There’s no doubt the incident has made
使鲁朴·普金成为家喻户晓的名字
Rupert pupkin a household word.
普金的演出
Pupkin’s performance has been viewed
创造了八千七百万全美观众的纪录
by a record 87 million American households.
鲁朴·普金 绑♥架♥了喜剧之王
Rupert Pupkin, kidnapping king of comedy,
被判六年徒刑
was sentenced to six years imprisonment
于一个低度设防的监狱服刑
At the government’s minimum security facility
宾夕法尼亚的阿伦伍德监狱
In Allenwood, Pennsylvania, for his part
绑♥架♥脱口秀节目主持人杰瑞·兰福
In the abduction of talk show host Jerry Langford.
在他处♥女♥表演的周年纪念里
On the anniversary of his appearance on the show,
鲁朴·普金告诉记者们
Rupert Pupkin told a gathering of reporters
他仍然把杰瑞·兰福当作
he still considers Jerry Langford
自己的朋友和导师
his friend and mentor.
他说他正在
He reported he had been spending his time
写他的回忆录
writing his memoirs, which have been purchased
一大型出版社已经买♥♥下版权
by a leading publishing house
出价超过一百万美元
For in excess of $1 million.
在两年零九个月的监禁后
Rupert Pupkin was released today from Allenwood
鲁朴·普金今天从阿伦伍德监狱获释
After serving 2 years and 9 months
原判决是六年徒刑
of a six-year sentence.
数百名群众迎接了三十七岁的
Hundreds greeted the 37-year-old
喜剧演员和作家
comedian and author,
其中有他的新经纪人和经理大卫·波
Among them his new agent and manager David Ball,
他宣布了普金的畅销自传
who announced King for A Night,
《一夜之王》
Pupkin’s best-selling autobiography,
将会搬上大屏幕
will appear as a major motion picture.
普金说用在监狱的日子里
Pupkin said he used his stay at Allenwood
他雕磨了他的创作
To sharpen his material.
他说他和他的同伴
He said he and his people
正在衡量各份极具吸引力的合同
were weighing attractive offers
他期待再次开始
and he looked forward to resuming
他的演艺生涯
his show business career.
女士们 先生们 现在是
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
我们期待
The man we’ve all been waiting for…
已久的
And waiting for.
请用掌声欢迎
Would you welcome home please…
电视界闪亮的新星
Television’s brightest new star…
传奇般的
The legendary, inspirational,
唯一的喜剧之王
The one and only king of comedy…
女士们 先生们 鲁朴·普金
Ladies and gentlemen, Rupert Pupkin!
鲁朴·普金 女士们先生们
Rupert Pupkin, ladies and gentlemen!
掌声欢迎 鲁朴·普金
Let’s hear it for Rupert Pupkin!
好极了
Wonderful!
鲁朴·普金 女士们 先生们
Rupert pupkin, ladies and gentlemen!
鲁朴·普金 女士们 先生们
Rupert Pupkin, ladies and gentlemen!
掌声欢迎 鲁朴·普金
Let’s hear it for Rupert Pupkin!
好极了
Wonderful!
鲁朴·普金 女士们 先生们
Rupert Pupkin, ladies and gentlemen!