喜剧之王

这里是纽约现场
And now from new york…
杰瑞·兰福秀
今天的特邀嘉宾有 托尼·兰德尔
With Jerry’s guests… Tony Randall
理查德·德赖弗斯 罗尼·丹哲菲德
Richard Dreyfuss, Rodney Dangerfield
乔伊斯·布拉泽斯博士 娄·布朗和乐团
Dr. Joyce Brothers, Lou Brown and the orchestra
还有我这老家伙 艾德·荷丽西
And little ol’ me… Ed Herlihy.
现在让我们欢迎杰瑞
And now say hello to Jerry!
非常感谢 晚上好啊 你们真是好观众
Thank you. Good evening to you. You look like a great audience.
路易 你好吗 娄·布朗 女士们先生们
Louie, how are you? Lou Brown, ladies and gentlemen,
还有我们出色的兰福乐团
And the marvelous Langford Orchestra.
我们的乐团
Group. Group.
艾德 你今晚好吗
Um…And, Ed, how are you tonight?
-好极了 -非常好 抱歉叫醒你了
-Very well. -Wonderful. Sorry I woke you.
我该满足你的请求 先生
I shall adhere to your request, sir.
好的 你们想要杰瑞的签名 给我
O.K. You want Jerry’s autograph give me the books!
让他写些私人的东西
Have him write something personal!
好的 给我 好的
O.K, O.K! Give me the books! O.K., O.K.!
让他写些私人的东西
Have him write something personal.
半个小时 半个小时 再见
Half an hour! Half an hour! Goodbye!
仅仅是在卡片上的
It’ll be just on a card.
我只能为你做这些了
That’s all I’m giving you.
我觉得自己进去拿签名简直是浪费时间
I just don’t feel like wasting my time going in by myself to get it.
-你好呀 鲁朴 -你好 鲁朴
Hiya, Rupert. Hello, Rupert.
-鲁朴 你想要谁的 -谁的也不想要
-Hey, Rupert, who’d you get? -Nobody.
我有鲁尼·丹哲菲德 理查德·哈里斯 想换芭芭拉
I got Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Harris. I’ll trade them for Barbra.
阿伦·阿尔达 罗宾·威廉姆斯 任何你想要的
Alan Alda, Robin Williams. I’ll give you anyone you want.
西尼 我真的不感兴趣 那不是我生命的全部
Sydney, I’m really not that interested. It’s not my whole life.
什么意思 那就是我生命的全部 我和西尼的
What’s that mean? That’s my whole life, me and Sydney’s?
那不是我生命的全部 是你的 不是我的
That’s not my whole life. It’s yours, but not mine.
杰瑞 杰瑞
Jerry! Jerry!
杰瑞 好样的
Jerry! I love you!
别 别走 杰瑞
Don’t… don’t go, Jerry!
不 不 杰瑞
No! No! Jerry!
杰瑞
Jerry!
别挤了好吗
Would you stop shoving?
杰瑞 别推了
Jerry! Would you stop pushing?
我不会 杰瑞 别 别
I’m not going to take… Jerry! No! No!
杰瑞 杰瑞
Jerry! Jerry!
拜托了
Please.
等等
Aah! Wait!
站远点 请站远点
O.K.! Stand back! Stand back! Please.
让兰福先生透口气
Let Mr. Langford get some air!
站远点 签个名吧 杰瑞
Just stand back! Come on, Jerry!
你收到我的留言了吗 你收到我的留言了吗
Did you get my message? Did you get my message?
好吧 现在
All right, now…
杰瑞 杰瑞
Jerry! Jerry! Aah!
杰瑞
Hey, Jerry.
杰瑞
Jerry! Aah! Aah!
你好了吧
Come on, people!
杰瑞 对不起 我不是想打扰你
Jerry, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to disturb you.
-我只要一点时间听听你的忠告 -现在可不是好时机
-I just want a minute to ask your advice. -Not now.
如果我们现在开走
If we could just drive away.
你可以随便什么地方放我下来
You could drop me off anywhere.
我们可以边走边谈
We could talk while we’re driving.
我想我做不到
I don’t do this.
我并不想冒犯你
I don’t mean to be rude,
但我确实为你开路了
but I did put myself on the line for you.
开车 哈维
Drive, Harvey.
杰瑞 杰瑞
Jerry! Jerry!
杰瑞 杰瑞 杰瑞
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
我爱你 杰瑞 我爱你
I love you, Jerry! I love you!
拿着
Here.
谢谢
Thanks.
-这是你的简名吗 -是的
-Is that your initials? -Yeah.
我仅仅想告诉你 我叫鲁朴·普金
I just want to tell you My name’s Rupert Pupkin.
我知道这名字对你来说毫无意义
I know the name means nothing to you,
不过对我来说很重要 而且…
but it means an awful lot to me, and…
-相信我 -冷静些 慢慢来
-Believe… -Calm down. Take your time.
我有点紧张 你也许好奇我是谁
I’m a little nervous. You might’ve wondered who I am.
我来过你节目现场外面好多好多次了
I’ve been outside your show many, many times.
我现做通讯这行
I’m in communications right now.
不过我想说的是
But by nature, this is the point I’m trying to make,
我是个喜剧演员
By nature, I’m a comedian, you know?
我知道你会在想 “又来一个”
I know what you’re going to say. “Oh, not another one.”
不过请相信我 我很棒的 而且有活力
But believe me, I’m very good. I’m dynamite.
如果我不是充满活力
I wouldn’t take one minute of your time
我不会占用你半点时间
if I wasn’t absolutely convinced that I’m dynamite.
你也许会想
You’re wondering, “If he’s so good,
“如果他真的那么好 为何他没上过我的节目”
why hasn’t he caught my act somewhere?” right?
问的好 我来告诉你
Good question. I’ll tell you why. You know why?
到目前为止 我一直慢慢地消磨时光
Up to now, I’ve been biding my time slowly and carefully
直至我的突破时刻来到
so that when my big break finally came,
正如你的突破时刻 杰克·帕尔生病的那晚
like the night Jack Parr got sick? Your big break?
从那晚起 我立志做一喜剧演员
That night convinced me that I wanted to be a comedian.
那晚的节目如梦般
I walked out of that show like I was in a dream.
从此后 我开始
After that, I started catching
留意你在”沙利文”所有的客串演出
All your guest appearances on Sullivan.
我模仿你的所有动作
I studied everything you ever did…
你轻松自如地调侃
The way you built to your one-liners, nice and relaxed,
你举重若轻地逗乐
how you deliver jokes without leaning too much on them,
你并不说 “观众 这是包袱”
how you didn’t say, “hey, folks, here’s the punch line.”
你知道吗 杰瑞
You know, Jerry? You know what I’m talking about?
你并不说 “观众 这是包袱”
You don’t say, “folks, here’s the punch line.”
你仅仅是抖包袱而已
You just do the punch line.
你就是我喜欢你的地方
Exactly. That’s what I loved about what you did.
我想说的是 我准备好了
What I’m trying to say is, now I’m ready.
我准备好了 而且我上完了课
I’m ready, and… I finished the course.
而我坐在这里想
And I’m thinking as I’m sitting here now,
“也许这是我的突破 我的机会”
“Maybe this is my big break, my big chance.”
你知道吗
Know what I mean?
你怎么看
What do you think?
-你叫什么名字 -我叫鲁朴·普金
-Look, what’s your name? -My name’s Rupert pupkin.
好的 兄弟 我得告诉你 这是个疯狂的行业
All right. Look, pal, got to tell you, this is a crazy business,
但如同其他行业 它有基本条例
But it’s not unlike any other business. There are ground rules.
对
Yeah.
没有经验 你就上不了台
And you don’t just walk onto a network show without experience.
我知道这很老套
Now, I know it’s an old hackneyed expression,
但这也是真话 你得从底层做起
but it’s the truth… you’ve got to start at the bottom.
-我就在最底层 -那就是好的开始
-I’m at the bottom. -That’s a perfect place to start.
我知道 不过…应该…
I know, but I’m not… there’s got to be…
在家里看着兴许觉得很容易
It looks so simple to the viewer at home…
一切都很自然很流畅
Those things that come so easily that are so relaxed
就象呼口气一样
and look like it’s a matter of just taking another breath.
那是经过年复一年的
It takes years and years and years
钻磨和锤炼
of honing that and working it.
我不想打断你
I don’t mean to interrupt you,
不过有个小问题 我34岁了
But there’s a little problem. I’m 34 years old.
那就是我叫你好好听的原因
That’s why I’m asking you to just listen…
听听我的作品 然后告诉我你怎么看
To listen to my act and tell me what you think about it.
你不如打电♥话♥到我办公之处
Why don’t you call my office…
好的 我能吗
All right, O.K. I could?
你说找凯瑟·龙 她是我秘书
You ask for Cathy Long. She’s my secretary.
然后我们会安排时间听听你的作品
And we’ll make time to listen to what you’re talking about.
你很难想象
You don’t know how many times
我在脑海里筹划这次交谈有多少次了 这太棒了
I’ve had this conversation in my head. This is beautiful.
-总是这样的吗 -是的
-Did it always end this way? -Yeah, it did.
我真的相信
I really believe this.
一旦你革去初始的羞涩 一起将会好的
Once you get over the initial shyness, you’ll be O.K.
-是吗 -是的
-Yeah? -Yeah.
希望如你所愿 鲁朴
Hope it works out for you, Rupert.
谢谢你 杰瑞 非常感谢