人类的呼声（2020）

我不是在指责你，亲爱的，我也不是在自欺欺人
I’m not accusing you, my love, and I’m not fooling myself.
游戏规则、欲望法则如此
These are the rules of the game, the law of desire.
和你四年的幸福时光. . .
And four years of happiness with you…
是无价的
it’s priceless.
我接受这一切
I accept everything.
你可以怪我冒失，但我也付出了代价
You can blame me for being an adventuress but I always pay my price.
不，你说得对，张口闭口代价确实不得体。我很抱歉
No, you’re right, it’s not good taste to talk about price. I’m sorry.
啊，狗狗来了
-[whining] -Ah, here comes the dog.
他都知道是你来的电♥话♥
He always knows when it’s you on the phone.
你必须带他走
You have to take him.
他一副魂不守舍的样子
He’s like a lost soul.
他在公♥寓♥里整天整天的找你
He-He spends his whole day looking for you around the apartment,
我们走遍了整个社区
and when we go out, through the whole neighborhood.
我收拾你东西的时候，他拼命用爪子抓我
And when I was packing your things, he was hitting me with his paws.
他知道发生了什么，但他只是不理解
I mean, he knows what’s going on but he does not understand it.
他怎么能理解呢？
How can he understand it?
不，你必须带走他
No, you must take him.
他会很痛苦的，他已经够惨了
He’s going to be miserable. He already is miserable.
他太想你了
He misses you so much.
他的心不在我身上
He’s not interested in me.
他可是你的狗啊
He’s your dog.
不…
No, you–
他…你是他想要的那个人
He– You’re the one he wants.
你的信？ 我怎么舍得烧掉呢？
Your letters? How could I burn them?
不，我把它们放在香奈儿的小盒子里
No, I put them in a little Chanel case.
你想烧就烧吧
You burn them if you want to.
我把所有的东西都寄给你
I’m sending you everything.
你我的回信和所有便签
Your letters and mine and… all notes.
我保留了所有的便签
I kept all the notes.
它们美极了
The notes are beautiful.
你给我写的每句话…
You know, every word you ever wrote me.
我都会寄给你，所以你放心
You have them there, so you don’t need to worry
我不会勒索你，也不会寄给八卦小报
that I’ll try to blackmail you or sell them to a tabloid.
不，我不会做这种事，这样一来，你就可以更放心了
Well, no, I would never do it, but this way, you can be even surer.
我唯一保留的就是 .. .
The only words I’m keeping are…
你当面对我说的话
the ones you spoke to me in person.
它们已经铭刻在我心底
They’re engraved on my heart.
我正在尽力消除它们
I’m doing my best to erase them
因为他们不能和信件一起寄给你
since I can’t send them with the correspondence.
总之，你的行李箱和鞋子都打包好了
So, anyway, your, um, suitcases are packed, and your leather shoe bags,
我可以随时来拿
so you can come and get them whenever you want.
黑色西装？
The black suit?
是的，我从洗衣店拿回来了
Yes. I collected it from the cleaners.
我把它装在西装袋里，分开装的
I put it in a suit carrier. Separate.
什么？
José?
不！你一定要来
No! You have to come.
我们刚才说好的，你说要来的
That’s what we agreed on. That you would come.
你怎么可以用一通电♥话♥
You don’t say goodbye to a woman you’ve loved for more than four years
跟爱了你四年多的女人告别
with a telephone call!
我足足等了你三天
I’ve been waiting for you for three days,
几乎天天黏在床上
practically tied to the leg of the bed, waiting for you,
足不出户，就为等你
without going anywhere.
剧院？
The theater?
我现在这种状况怎么去剧院？
How could I go to the theater in this state?
我没和玛尔塔出门！
I didn’t go out with Marta!
我没有和她或任何人一起吃过饭， 我已经三天没吃东西了！
I haven’t eaten with her or anyone. I haven’t eaten a bite in three days!
我不是刚从街上回来，其实我都没有出去过
I haven’t just come in from the street. I haven’t left the house.
你说过你会来的
You said you would come.
玛尔塔确实有恐高症
Well, it’s true that Marta has vertigo.
我并没有去看心理医生
It is not true that I went to the therapist.
我那么说是想让你放心
I told you that to reassure you.
刀的事也是真的，别逼逼了，我又没有攻击过你
It is true about the knives. And don’t complain. I never attacked you.
我经纪人法比安，打电♥话♥说有一两支广♥告♥找上门…
And it is also true that my agent, Fabian, called, and one or two ads have come up,
这也是真的，一些客户喜欢这个年龄和状态下的我
and at my age and in my current state, some clients like me.
不，我出去买♥♥过一次东西
No, I went out once to buy something.
但别问我买♥♥了什么，因为我不会告诉你的
But don’t ask me what, because I’m not gonna tell you.
我还好吗？
Am I all right?
你居然问我好不好
Are you really asking me that?
不，我不好！
No, I am not all right!
这三天，我不止一次失控！
These last three days, I’ve lost control more than once!
你人不来，电♥话♥也不来一通
When you didn’t come and you didn’t call,
我用斧头砍了床
I attacked the bed with an ax!
然后我吃了一堆药
And then I took a load of pills.
你来电时，我已经失去意识了
When you called, I was unconscious!
我数了，整整13片药
Thirteen pills. I counted them.
13是我的幸运数字
Thirteen’s my lucky number.
别大喊大闹，对不起，我没做到
No, don’t shout. I’m sorry I shouted.
我只是…现在想告诉你一切
Just– I– I just– Let me tell you everything then.
我本不想告诉你，但你知道的
I wasn’t going to, but as you can see,
我无法对你隐瞒任何事
I’m incapable of keeping anything from you.
那些药，我…我知道这样混着吃，不会死人的
The pills. I– I knew that the combination wasn’t lethal.
这些药我都了如指掌， 这段时间，它们是我唯一的朋友
I know all about drugs. They’ve been my only friend for some time now.
不，亲爱的，是我策划了这一切
No, my love, I staged it.
我希望有人能发现我，这时…
I was hoping someone would find me, and at that moment, you called,
你的电♥话♥叫醒了我
and it woke me up.
我不是要勒索你
I’m not trying to blackmail you.
我只想把刚才要说的话说完
I just want to finish what I was telling you.
我知道这是你最后的电♥话♥，你再也不会打给我了，
I know this is your last call, that you’ll never call again.
我这三天都像个废人
I’ve been like a wreck these last three days.
今天我第一次换上衣服
Today I got dressed for the first time.
化了妆，因为脸色看起来差极了
I had to put on a lot of makeup. I looked so terrible.
当你发现我时，我想漂漂亮亮的
And I wanted you to find me looking pretty.
香消玉殒
Dead but pretty.
亲爱的，我没做傻事，我在这活生生的和你说话呢
Darling, I didn’t to it. I’m here, I’m alive, I’m talking to you.
我…我…不，我只是想想而已
I– I– No, it was just an idea.
这几天我什么都没做，只能等
I– I’ve done nothing these days but wait.
等待的时候，总可以思考吧，不是吗？
You’re allowed to think while you wait, aren’t you?
不，我…我不是有意大喊大叫的
No, I-I’m– I don’t want to shout.
请…原谅我
I’m– Forgive me.
我承认，我确实想过从阳台跳下去
I admit I did consider throwing myself off the terrace.
可是你不喜欢血腥场面，也反对血腥
But you don’t like gory spectacles. You’re opposed to blood.
你可以接受暴♥力♥，但血腥，你是不能接受的
You can be violent, but you don’t like blood, wherever it comes from.
不，药片是最好的
No, pills were… the best.
甜蜜的死去，消失在梦中
A sweet death. Disappearing into a dream.
我的梦不是那样的
Well, that wasn’t my dream.
不，我的梦想是和你一起消失
No, my dream was to disappear with you.
去任何地方都行
I didn’t mind where.
是的，这是我的梦想，不是你的
Yes. That was my dream, not yours.
不过我坦白
But admit…
曾几何时，我们也做着同样的梦
at one time, we dreamed the same.
喂？
Hello?
是断线了吗？
H– Are– Are we cut off?
还是你挂了呢？
Or did you hang up?
懦夫！
Coward!
喂？
Hello?
哦，是你啊
Oh, it’s you.
是的，我们断线了，经常断线，谢谢你打回来
Yes, we got cut off. It happens sometimes. Thank you for calling back.
来说再见，是的
To say goodbye, yes.
对…对不起，我失态了
I’m– I’m so sorry that I lost my temper.
随时让何塞来取就行
And send José whenever you like.
我会把你的东西放在门卫那里
I’ll leave your things with the doorman.
我们像两个陌生人一样道别，真是遗憾啊！
It’s just such a pity that we’re… saying goodbye like two strangers.
好吧，我也想不出任何其他方式来告别了
Well, I can’t think of any other way of stringing this goodbye out.
我…我有一个小小的请求
I– I just want to ask you one little thing.
我在阳台上浇花
I’m on the terrace. I came out to water the plants.
到阳台上来，你在哪呢？噢，你不在家吗？
Go out onto the terrace where you are. Oh, you’re not at home?
好吧，不管你在哪里，现在去窗边，向我们阁楼这边看
Well, wherever you are, go to the window and look towards our attic.
我没问你在哪，和谁在一起…
I’m not asking you where you are, who you’re with,
昨晚是否和谁做♥爱♥了
whether you made love last night.
我只要你去到窗边…
I’m just asking you to go to the window