人类的呼声（2020）

人类的呼声
改编自 让·科克托 的话剧
我马上来
-给你
-谢谢
需要什么？
May I help you?
麻烦了
Please.
坐下，坐
[woman] Sit down. Sit.
50块
Fifty.
– 要收据吗？ – 不用
-Receipt? -No.
谢谢
Thank you.
再会。走咯
Goodbye. Come on.
这四年以来
[woman] There was a time,
直到三天前
four straight years, until three days ago,
等你的时候，我就看看影片、读读书
when I waited for you while I watched a DVD or read.
你总会回到我身边
And you always came back.
这是属于我们的夜晚和早晨
The night was ours, and some entire mornings.
还有如魔法般渐渐转入黑夜的…
There were also afternoons which, as if by magic,
傍晚
turned into nights.
你总会回到我身边
You always came back.
直到三天前
Until three days ago.
-干!
-Fuck! [grunting]
闭嘴！
Shut up!
各种精神类药物
靠
Shit.
你好
Hello?
哦，是你啊
Oh, it’s you.
噢，你被转接到语♥音♥信箱了
Oh, you’re turning into a robot.
是的，好多了，我能听清你说话了
Yes, that’s better. I hear you now.
我…我在街上
I-I was in the street.
在街上没听见电♥话♥响
I can’t hear the phone in the street.
谢谢你再打回来
Thank you for calling back.
我忙的不可开交
Oh, I haven’t stopped.
我和马莎连续两晚去了剧院
I went to the theater the last two nights with Marta,
额，还吃了一些药
and, uh, I took some drugs.
还见了我的经纪人法比安
And, uh– Oh, also I saw Fabian, my agent.
勉强吃了点东西
Compulsively I’ve taken to eating.
但有一件事比较顺心，那便是我的新陈代谢了
Well, if there’s one thing I don’t have to complain about, it’s my metabolism.
什么都能代谢掉
It burns everything.
是越南的还是意大利的，我不清楚名字
I, uh– Vietnamese and Italian. I don’t know the name.
坦白说，这三天我可没闲着
Well, to be honest, the last three days, I haven’t stopped.
我不知道我是否过得开心
I don’t know if I’m amused, exactly.
你说的对，我是心事重重
Yeah, you’re right. My mind is very occupied, yes.
却不能休息
And I don’t stop.
我在逃避
I’m escaping.
你叫我出去走走
Well, you told me to go out.
但出去走走不也是逃避吗？
Escape, go out. What does it matter? They’re the same thing.
昨晚吗？
Last night?
额，我…我很早就上♥床♥睡觉了
Uh, I– I went to bed. Very early.
我很疲惫，很快就睡着了
I was very tired, and I went to sleep quickly, and, um–
索菲亚来过，我们一起吃了午餐，逛了街
And then Sofia came, and we had lunch, and then we went shopping.
嗯，琐碎之事
Mmm. Silly stuff.
公♥寓♥用品，实用之物
Things for the apartment. Practical things.
将来，我要把自己变成一个务实的女人
In the future, I’m going to be a practical woman for a change.
我的治疗师说，我得忙起来
And, uh– And I have to keep occupied. That’s what my therapist said.
我也去他那了
I went to see him too.
我必须去
Well, I had to go.
为了拯救你，也为拯救我
To save you and to save me.
我是如此爱你
I’ve loved you so much.
我怕伤害你
I’ve been afraid of hurting you.
你知道吗？
Didn’t you realize that I’d get nervous
当我在厨房♥里看到一把刀时
whenever we were in the kitchen and I’d see a knife
我就会很紧张，我得马上把它收起来
and I’d have to put it away immediately.
想到我拿刀子捅进你的胸口，我都害怕了
It scared me to imagine I might be sticking a knife in your chest.
杀了你？不不不怎么会
Kill you? No, no, no, no, never.
相反
The opposite.
就像…
It’s like, uh…
玛尔塔和她的恐高症一样
It’s like Marta with her vertigo.
恐高症最糟糕的影响就是
And-And-And the worse thing about heights
面对空虚时，并非高度使她头晕目眩
isn’t that she becomes light-headed when faced with the void.
而是空虚如幽灵般穷追不舍
It’s that the void attracts her, like a magnet.
你明白吗？
Do you understand?
就像她对坠落的恐惧，促使她跳了下去
It’s like her fear of falling pushes her to jump.
我和刀的感觉正是如此
And then-then the same thing happened to me with the knives.
这种恐惧或不幸的事情发生在你身上
The fear of something bad happening to you.
它让我觉得我的手上焊接了一把刀子
It made me imagine my hand was wielding a knife
并刺向了你
and I was sticking it into you.
我…我变得很害怕自己
I– I became terrified of myself.
我似乎都能看到你的身体受伤流血
I mean, for a second, I was visualizing your wounded, bleeding body.
你不会明白我的感受
You can’t even imagine how I felt.
我…我被自己吓坏了
I– I was afraid of myself.
我需要专家的帮助
And I needed expert help.
所以我去看了治疗师
So I went to a therapist.
我需要养成新习惯
That I need to invent new habits.
来代替和你在一起的所有习惯
Replace all the ones I acquired with you.
尽管我什么都不想做
Even though I don’t want to do anything.
尽管我做什么都像个机器人
Even though I do everything like an automaton.
是的，不过你放心，我没提过你的名字
Yes, but don’t worry, I never mention your name.
是的，我会全身心的投入工作
Yes, I’ll throw myself into my work.
你可能不相信，但我的经纪人法比安说
You won’t believe it, but Fabian, my agent, says that
我这个年纪的女人又变得炙手可热了
women of my age are fashionable again.
他说这是芳华，客户们喜欢我…
Timeless beauty, he calls it. The clients love my pallor.
混杂着疯狂和忧郁的苍白
That mixture of madness and melancholy.
真是荒唐可笑
I think it’s a fucking joke.
我是个废人，我已经毁掉了曾经的一切
I’m a waste. I’m a ruin of what I once was.
如果这是现在的卖♥♥点
But if that’s what sells now.
能做成点事也是好的
And it’ll be good to work on something.
是的，你的箱子已经收拾好了
Yes, your cases are packed.
已经三天了
They have been for three days.
他们在这里等你，等得不耐烦了
They’re here, fed up of waiting for you.
幽默感？
Sense of humor?
好吧，可我从未对你幽默过
Well, I never really managed to use it with you.
当我疯狂爱上一个人，还有什么幽默感呢
When I’m crazy about someone, I lose my sense of humor.
不能和喜欢的人一起逗乐，欢笑
It’s very inconvenient, not being able to be funny
真令人困扰
with the one person you’d most like to be funny with.
和你在一起，我确实不有趣
No, I wasn’t funny with you.
我…自成一格
I was… special.
胆大无畏
Daring.
百依百顺
Submissive.
身材苗条
Thin. [scoffs]
满怀热忱
Passionate.
又如此幸运
And fortunate.
当你想尝试新事物的时候，我走进了你的生活
I came into your life at a time when you wanted to try new things,
新的体验
new feelings.
内心想着他可别是个大老土
As if desiring someone wasn’t the oldest feeling in the world.
我是个与众不同的女人
And I was a different woman.
不同到令你，有时忘了我也是个女人
So different that at times, I think you forgot that I was also a woman.
对，我接受这个局面
Yes, and I accepted the situation.
并不是说我喜欢讨好你
I’m not saying that I enjoyed sharing you,
可是在这种情况下，我只能咽下这份委屈
but given the circumstances, I accepted the humiliation.
尽管我像一头受伤的动物
Even though I suffered like an animal.
我知道这不是你的本意，我不是在怪你
No, I know it wasn’t your intention. I’m not reproaching you.
我看透了这一切，可我没有因此而放弃享受它
I was aware of it, but I didn’t enjoy any the less because of it.
我像动物一样受伤，但我也像动物一样享受
I suffered like an animal, but I enjoyed like an animal.
我沉醉其中，无法自拔
I was so drunk, so intoxicated.
我将现实与时间抛在脑后
I forgot about reality and time.
但现实总让我清醒
But reality always prevails.
我们的爱与很多事情背道而驰
Our love was going against a lot of things,
但我不怕
and I accepted the risks.
换来的是，和你在一起的四年幸福生活
And what I got in exchange was four years of happiness with you.
我从未想过生活会如我所愿
I never thought life would adapt to my desires.
为此，我付出了很大的代价
I paid a very high price.
这一切都来之不易
But what I got in exchange is beyond measure.